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 Author Thread: Why men don't date strong women... [CLOSED FOR REVIEW]
 sphinx-fire

Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 226
Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/25/2006 8:10:12 AM
Manerider... You are so right... Men could learn alot from me... LOL... Of course my wisdom is tempered with other weapons such as humour, a rapier, compassion, a club, genteness, boxing gloves, perfume and my mothers recipe's.....

 Natscha

Joined: 8/15/2006
Msg: 227
Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/25/2006 8:25:03 AM

Actually, I've read your threads, and it "appeared" you were reinforcing the notion men have difficulty dating strong women. (albeit, indirectly)


I’m really surprised that you say I “appeared” to be reinforcing such a notion – nothing could be further from the truth. One of the things I find difficult about these forums, is the generalizations, never mind one as general as “men have difficulty dating strong women.”
Below is from one of my previous posts so I do not understand how you arrived at that perspective


A strong woman is a secure woman! However a woman who makes a point of telling us she's strong, independent or whatever, is probably more insecure than strong or independent. A strong woman is human. She has her vulnerabilities and knows them. She has her weaknesses, and knows them. She has her fears and knows them. She has her strengths, and knows them. The strongest people are those who recognize their limitations. We are all dependent on one another to some extent - no man is an island!


The fact is, I’ve agreed with most men here and I am also completely turned off by anyone who asserts they are strong, independent and so on. I see it not only as insecure but as arrogant, and I despise arrogance.
But let’s not be so much on the defensive that we can no longer look at this objectively… the fact is there are PEOPLE (male and female) who have control issues, are afraid to make themselves vulnerable and may be afraid of a “stronger” partner. Are you really claiming such people do not exist?
As I said, I despise arrogance but my definition of “strong” is an extremely positive one. I won’t let this thread shade my personal definition.
 ManeRider

Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 228
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Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/25/2006 9:31:37 AM
The fact is, I’ve agreed with most men here and I am also completely turned off by anyone who asserts they are strong, independent and so on. I see it not only as insecure but as arrogant, and I despise arrogance.
But let’s not be so much on the defensive that we can no longer look at this objectively… the fact is there are PEOPLE (male and female) who have control issues, are afraid to make themselves vulnerable and may be afraid of a “stronger” partner. Are you really claiming such people do not exist?
As I said, I despise arrogance but my definition of “strong” is an extremely positive one. I won’t let this thread shade my personal definition.


Natascha..... I apologize if I misread or misinterpreted your position. I missed those previous thoughts you'd expressed. An quick overview gave me a false impression. I genuinely apologize.
 Natscha

Joined: 8/15/2006
Msg: 229
Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/25/2006 10:03:09 AM
^^^^^^ thank you manerider
 Hippos_are_nifty

Joined: 6/21/2006
Msg: 230
Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/25/2006 10:46:29 AM
I think that men just want someone who's sorta on the same level as they are. A girl that's real and not fake (cause so many are). Yeah, you should deffinently just be yourself and if you can't be then why even bother? Work on yourself mostly before you even enter a relationship. Hm...not sure if I'm at that point though.
 harveywallbanger

Joined: 12/25/2005
Msg: 231
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Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/25/2006 11:02:47 AM
Ok for those of you that couldn't see the difference the OP was saying men love strong independant women not overbearing "anything you can do I can do better" women. With a strong woman you feel like you have a great companion with the other type you feel like she's putting herself as your adversary. Ladies if you were in our shoes which one would you choose.

harvey
 Greystone1

Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 232
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Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/25/2006 4:37:38 PM
the fact is there are PEOPLE (male and female) who have control issues, are afraid to make themselves vulnerable and may be afraid of a “stronger” partner. Are you really claiming such people do not exist?


There may be people in this world who are actually afraid of asparagus, so I would not go so far as to say that they do not exist, but I am not going to intentionally offend those who are unwilling to eat asparagus by presumpuously labelling such unwillingness "fear of asparagus" or saying they are "intimidated by asparagus" or maybe "asparaphobic". I can't read their minds, therefore I don't know their motives... and neither do you. Maybe they just don't like the taste.

"Fear of _________ (fill in the blank)" is just politically motivated name calling, intentionally offensive and enormously divisive. I am amazed at how many people take it seriously and help to perpetuate it. Male bashing has become a national sport.
 kingbreeze

Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 233
Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/25/2006 4:46:04 PM
well stated calgaryboi. i'm not as eloquent so when did strong independent woman start being applied to a woman that is rude, self righteous and that has a very nasty attitude.

a true strong, intelligent, independent woman is what every man of the same ilk is looking for.....unless they want to control you.
 mounty1966

Joined: 12/16/2005
Msg: 234
Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/25/2006 4:55:47 PM
I wonder why all these ****y women even bother dating men? I think they should date another woman and save men the trouble. Oh yeah, women all want a career and that's their business, but I know from experience that you better not make less money than them. They will throw it in your face and it is not worth it. In short, most women deserve to be alone and only genetics keep men interested in wasting our time with their nasty asses. Thanks and good luck!
 xamo

Joined: 3/24/2006
Msg: 235
Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/25/2006 5:01:15 PM
Ever wonder why these guys keep loosing "top secret" files ....?
 ManeRider

Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 236
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Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/25/2006 5:14:07 PM
I wondered the same Xamo
 Brian_Thorn

Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 237
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Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/25/2006 5:29:41 PM

Men could learn alot from me... LOL... Of course my wisdom is tempered with other weapons such as humour, a rapier, compassion, a club, genteness, boxing gloves, perfume and my mothers recipe's.....


I am all for that, but could I have my lessons sans the rapier, club, and boxing gloves, my Dr. says I have to cut back on my contussion intake. And was Mom a good cook? (ducks).

Thanks for the fantastic, afterwork laugh!


On Topic- Not sure how I missed this one for so many pages, but the idea that men don't like to date strong, intelligent, independant, well spoken, and yet femine, women is bullocks. Men simply don't care to date women who feel they need to walk around with brass balls in thier pockets in order to feel like they are an equal. There is a huge difference. I have no problem taking a brow beating from my equal partner when I do something disrespectful, or just plain stupid, but I am not about to suffer same just because I am packing something different in my underoos.

Have fun ;)!
 northern lites

Joined: 2/28/2005
Msg: 238
Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/25/2006 5:53:53 PM
AMEN Sister! And I must agree, Eddie has it! I wouldnt be with a man unless he equals me in integrity, respect, and the maturity to handle situations, this is being strong! Why would anyone choose less.
 dawn04

Joined: 7/27/2005
Msg: 239
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Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/25/2006 6:51:55 PM
You know what I think happens to alot of us women is, I am a single mom, I have to be mom dad, bread winner, homework moniter, etc.... Fun!!! Romance!!! And just letting loose is not an option or is very far and few between. And it is very hard to let that go when you are trying to date. Your guard is up number one and to let someone else be the one in control is very, very hard. And I dont really buy that men like strong women, because I have been dropped again and again for the bubble head with the big boobs, and I feel I am an attractive woman, but I am strong, and dont take much bullsh*t and have actually been dumbed for someone younger, dumber and boobs hanging out right in front of my face. I would love to find someone to take care of me for once, I have been the care taker for so very long. But with alot of us strong women you are going to have to proove your going to be there before we soften up.
 ManeRider

Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 240
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Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/25/2006 6:55:46 PM
No truer words have ever been spoken ^^
 SimbadSailor

Joined: 11/8/2005
Msg: 241
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Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/25/2006 7:04:08 PM
Is this "you have to prove yourself before me" attitude that makes guys gag.

We are not to blame for all the problems in your life. We don't have to do anything to compensate you for anything you suffered because of the choices you made. We weren't there, remember?

If I have to choose between a "strong" woman who wants me to carry her baggage and a "bubblehead" (of course, the strong woman is who decides who is a bubblehead and who isn't) who knows how to relax and have fun, the bubblehehad is better.
 WonkaBar

Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 242
Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/25/2006 7:56:36 PM

Your guard is up number one and to let someone else be the one in control is very, very hard.


The fact that your guard is self-admittedly up and that you look at a relationship as "giving up control" is why the men keep dumping you for bubbleheaded boobs.
 Natscha

Joined: 8/15/2006
Msg: 243
Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/26/2006 2:27:47 AM
Greystone1


There may be people in this world who are actually afraid of asparagus, so I would not go so far as to say that they do not exist, but I am not going to intentionally offend those who are unwilling to eat asparagus by presumpuously labelling such unwillingness "fear of asparagus" or saying they are "intimidated by asparagus" or maybe "asparaphobic".


This argument has often been mine particularly in the case of "fear of commitment" - I have often pointed out to people that just because I do not WANT to commit to anyone right now, it does not mean I have a FEAR of it!


I can't read their minds, therefore I don't know their motives... and neither do you.


I never assume things and do NOT rely on mind reading abilities. Many people have confessed their fears to me. Joe, tells his friend everything and his friend told me.

You seem to totally lack objectivity on this matter - get off the defensive
 Blue Fish

Joined: 7/16/2006
Msg: 244
Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/26/2006 2:48:42 AM
Men Brag

To impress you when really they just look like fools!

This creates an environment of competition, instead of being down to earth etc.....

It just makes you want to show them how they are NOT so great, bring them down to earth just like everyone else.

I hate BRAGGERS

 Greystone1

Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 245
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Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/26/2006 5:23:03 AM
This argument has often been mine particularly in the case of "fear of commitment" - I have often pointed out to people that just because I do not WANT to commit to anyone right now, it does not mean I have a FEAR of it!


Apparently you don't find the mischaracterization offensive, or you would not perpetuate it's use by presenting examples.


You seem to totally lack objectivity on this matter - get off the defensive


Can one be objective about such matters? Feminism has had an extremely destructive influence on male/female relationships. There are two paths to equality: Raise one side up or tear the other side down. The former is constructive, the latter is destructive.

As I see it, I am on the offensive, but opinions may vary.
 Brian_Thorn

Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 246
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Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/26/2006 5:56:02 AM

Men Brag

To impress you when really they just look like fools!

This creates an environment of competition, instead of being down to earth etc.....

It just makes you want to show them how they are NOT so great, bring them down to earth just like everyone else.

I hate BRAGGERS


One fish, two fish, red fish, Blue Fish,
I am sorry, but I thought this was about why men don't date "strong" women?

I know as a man, I can safely speak for all men, when I say that I am so eternally grateful to know that we have women out there, such as yourself, who are so selflessly perfect in their own right, that they have raised the bar of human decency to such a point that they are compelled and capable of putting us in our place, what with us being so weak and socially inept as a gender.

So do you purposely drive in the left lane at 55mph too, because let's face it, you're doing the speed limit, and people shouldn't speed?


Have fun ;)!
 Greystone1

Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 247
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Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/26/2006 6:14:55 AM

There are two paths to equality: Raise one side up or tear the other side down. The former is constructive, the latter is destructive.



It just makes you want to show them how they are NOT so great, bring them down to earth just like everyone else.


... and up pops an example.
 ManeRider

Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 248
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Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/26/2006 6:20:24 AM

One fish, two fish, red fish, Blue Fish,
I am sorry, but I thought this was about why men don't date "strong" women?

I know as a man, I can safely speak for all men, when I say that I am so eternally grateful to know that we have women out there, such as yourself, who are so selflessly perfect in their own right, that they have raised the bar of human decency to such a point that they are compelled and capable of putting us in our place, what with us being so weak and socially inept as a gender.

So do you purposely drive in the left lane at 55mph too, because let's face it, you're doing the speed limit, and people shouldn't speed


So very well put, B Thorn. Men are not in any way, shape or form equal to women, and we do appreciate being reminded of this from time to time.

 Natscha

Joined: 8/15/2006
Msg: 249
Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/26/2006 6:47:37 AM
Apparently you don't find the mischaracterization offensive, ....



I don't know what you mean by that, but I don't find anything you've said offensive as such. I was just saying I share your opinion on the issue of people being quick to make out everything is a "fear" as opposed to a possible choice. Now, I wouldn't go as far as denying that fear exists, in fact plentifully.


Can one be objective about such matters? Feminism has had an extremely destructive influence on male/female relationships.


Your lack of objectivity is causing a measure of blindness - you fail to distinguish between a hard-core feminist and a woman who values and respects all people regardless of gender or whatever else.
 Interdimensional

Joined: 8/30/2006
Msg: 250
Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 9/26/2006 6:54:06 AM
If you focus on "men just don't date strong women" then that will be the reality you create. Focus on something like "Damn...I am so strong that the man who appreciates me will be secure and confident and strong and will rock my world" focus is everything
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