|
|
|
|
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/2/2008 5:20:50 PM | | Some men love strong women, I know one in particular who thinks my feisty, assertive, compassionate, passionate personality is just peachy... | |
|
wavoka
|
Joined: 5/25/2008
Msg: 1377 | |
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/2/2008 5:24:34 PM | Ego's .
A lot of Men cannot handle spending time with women on a level playing field.
They need to feel needed and become very insecure when a woman has a opinion and a mind of her own. | |
|
| |
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/2/2008 5:39:26 PM | Ski:
"You seem to think that this is a battle between men and women. I do not necessarily agree with many of the words spoken by many of the men on this forum and that includes some of the most recent. I can only respond to you about YOUR words. its pretty apparent that you harbor negative feelings and a defensive/offensive towards males in general. Good luck with that."
Well thanks ski, but allow me to elaborate for your edification ...
I absolutely DO harbour negative feelings and launch an offensive attack against certain males in particular. Your assumption that, when I do so, it is an indication of a defensive attitude "towards males in general" is not substantiated by anything that I have posted here. I can only surmise that you are projecting your own negative views of women who disagree with you, or men in general, on to me. And if you chafe at such a grand generalization, well, so do I.
You know, what I find hysterically funny is the number of times I've posted something here that's been cribbed from some journalist or author or generally recognized MALE public figure, and been told what a hateful view of men I have as a result. Actually, it is more sad than funny - but it says an awful lot about the so-called enlightened among you. | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/2/2008 5:50:53 PM | "Yup, those who disagree with the POV you learned in all those Woman's Studies courses, methinks."
Never taken a woman's studies course in my life. Studied lots of sociology though - particular emphasis on christianity and race. Studied gender influences in communications though - you need to understand the audience you're addressing.
So"youthinks" - not much. | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/2/2008 6:01:42 PM |
Never taken a woman's studies course in my life. Studied lots of sociology though...
Well, it would seem there's not much of a difference between the two soft sciences these days it seems, then. Sociology used to have a more balanced approach to how societies evolved.....
Ah well, I'm only a man, what would I know anyway....
 | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/2/2008 6:05:47 PM | ^^^^
actually there is no difference, that's the beauty of scientific study. You use the same criteria for the study of race as you use for gender or religion.
When people whole-heartedly agree with one, and vehemently disagree with the other, you expose their particular biases. Not something they like, usually. | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/2/2008 6:10:39 PM |
When people whole-heartedly agree with one, and vehemently disagree with the other, you expose their particular biases. Not something they like, usually.
As is evinced by your biased posts. I couldn't have said it better .
 | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/2/2008 6:34:39 PM |
They, the women, need to feel needed and become very insecure when a man has the opinion that women who insist on spouting off about her superiority don't have any interest in listening.
The other side of the {me} coin is, "I'm really not interested in you."
Is it just me, or are the "strong, liberated women of today, incapable of actually showing interest to men, as in their opinions, interest, career?
IS it a demerit to women to actually bring themselves to ask of men their thoughts, because I do hear them asking their female friends.
Nevermind. I'm a guy, ... it must just be me.
(that was easy) | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/2/2008 6:44:21 PM | "The other side of the {me} coin is, "I'm really not interested in you." Is it just me, or are the "strong, liberated women of today, incapable of actually showing interest to men, as in their opinions, interest, career?
Gee, maybe it is just you! I seek the opinions/interests of men all the time - genuinely like many of their traits and perspectives.
Of course, there are some men who really don't like women at all. Oh, they want to be in a relationship with one, for sure - but they have their own reasons for that and it has everything to do with their own insecuritires and nothing to do with the woman at hand. Most women can see through a guy like that pretty easily. They're the ones on here belly-achin about strong women being a pseudonym for biotch.
"IS it a demerit to women to actually bring themselves to ask of men their thoughts, because I do hear them asking their female friends. "
Hard to say. I've often men their opinion, sometimes taken their advice sometimes not. Sometimes that's ok, sometimes not. Generally speaking, men are more challenged by the notion that I might not take their advice. My women friends are happy to offer it, hope I take it, but ultimately leave the decision up to me. Men can take it as a personal affront if you don't follow their advice. But, that's just some men. I tend not to ask them what they think. It's just easier. | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/2/2008 7:17:14 PM |
Is it just me, or are the "strong, liberated women of today, incapable of actually showing interest to men, as in their opinions, interest, career?
IS it a demerit to women to actually bring themselves to ask of men their thoughts, because I do hear them asking their female friends.
I don't know manerider...is this really that common? ( serious question) Or is it just on here? I must not be a strong, liberated woman, because I am interested in how men think, and what they do etc..one of the primary reasons I am so into these kinds of threads is to see what the other side thinks..I even change a perspective or two if it makes sense to me...do you think that if people didn't care what other people thought ( whether they agree with it or not), they would be on forums?
I guess what I don't get is...why does everything have to devolve into insulting the other side..nature of forums? Or is it possible to discuss important issues to us all without blaming the other gender?
This thread has taught me one thing...and it came from the men...regardless of the personal reality of each woman..men have a specific idea of what "strong" women means..and they don't like it. Not that I ever describe myself in that way( even though I think I am)...but, I know now why I shouldn't..lol..
Of course, different topic..but, I'm sure the reverse is true too..I have preconceived ideas about some of the phrases men use to describe themselves, or their dating behaviors..but, I have decided to take each man individually, and not color them all by that..courtesy of this thread... | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/2/2008 7:43:47 PM | I have to agree with zangie here on some points. I know a number of women that I would consider "strong" but in a good way and they are always very interested in what I have going on, no different from any man with true genuine self confidence.
Zangie, a number of posts were made on this thread, by men including myself, stating that they appreciate a strong woman when its positive. Nobody appreciates an ***hole, regardless of your gender. It has been my observation that sometimes some women act like lunatics and then when their man won't stand for it they say "so you don't like a strong woman?". Nothing could be further from the truth for a lot of us, we just don't want to be around a jerk of any gender, even if its masqueraded as a woman proclaiming herself to be so called "strong".
It is true that SOME men prefer a non-strong woman(even in the positive sense of the word) because they are power freaks and want to be in charge no matter what. Hey, you know what, some women prefer a non-strong man for the same reason.
However, one thing can definitely be said, which is that men are not looking for a competitor in a relationship, they are looking for a partner. I don't really think women are looking for a competitor either, but as things have developed, women have moved into the traditionally man's world and turned themselves into our competitors. I don't think women like it too much if a man tries to tell her how to be a good mother, etc.. Its hard to draw parallels because in general men have not moved into the woman's traditional world, we have instead had you move into ours. A truly strong woman will know how to avoid competing with her partner because with genuine confidence she won't need to. However, a common experience many men face is that things have in fact become quite a competition, which is not relaxing, not comforting, not the least bit attractive in a partner. As such, some men may think they want someone non-strong so that they can simply avoid this competition. I think women are getting off on the competition because they are trying to prove something, but really, we didn't ask for that...women are sorta putting it on us.
A confident, elegant, strong woman in the positive sense of the word is a joy to be with, but when it turns into a competition, then it becomes a bit like sibling rivalry. | |
|
4S
|
Joined: 6/11/2008
Msg: 1388 | |
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/2/2008 8:03:51 PM | Did anyone else notice that there are very few men left on this thread? At least those that are willing to discuss without getting frustrated?
My own .02, which may be all it's worth.
Everyone, regardless of gender, needs to feel important to those they care about. Men and women tend to feel and express that in different ways. Am I perfectly capable of changing that little ole tire, killing that bug, or a million other things? Of course. But if someone out of kindness wishes to do something for me, it would be unloving of me to reject it. (even if I could do it better). Just as it would be unloving of him to dismiss that I "could fight at his side" just as well if some strange need called for it, or in every day life. | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/2/2008 8:43:29 PM | | Strong women don't have to keep proving they are strong. Strength in anyone is alot more subtle than that. Strong women can show emotions and not be afraid to love because they trust themselves and don't fall apart because something doesn't go as planned. The only thing anyone can be certain of is change. | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/2/2008 8:54:36 PM | I don't really think women are looking for a competitor either, but as things have developed, women have moved into the traditionally man's world and turned themselves into our competitors. I don't think women like it too much if a man tries to tell her how to be a good mother, etc. If I may, I believe many women have sought to emulate, to approach equality, with men, and in so doing, have lost much of the grace women were once endowed with.
Of course, there are some men who really don't like women at all
Of course, there are women who argue with fence post, too, and, you guessed, it, we dont' typically like those mouthy types. That's, by far, the "strong women" I prefer to disengage with. Just as in the poem, Desiderada, (sp), "avoid the loud, boisterous (people), as they are a vexation to the spirit."
^^^^^^^^^^That quote's a chest beating in cave-man terminology.
I don't know manerider...is this really that common? ( serious question) Or is it just on here?
This is but a cross-section of our population. It happens here with some routine, but it occurs in my life with impunity. And yes, it's that common in my pond of life. | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/2/2008 9:08:36 PM | | BTW borntoski & manerider: ...I, personally, don't want to compete, I hate competing...I always lose..lol...however, I should point out...I feel pressure to all the time..by men and even more so women..in the "you have to think/act/feel like a man"or you aren't a healthy woman...and you are weak and needy? And I don't think I am either...but, I am "traditionally" female in a lot of ways( very un pc now too)... I long for equal as people, but different as genders...sigh... | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/2/2008 9:13:13 PM | It looks like this thread has become one big pissing contest, with over-steroid testosterone mongers puffing their chests out whenever a woman suggests that they want to be independent, and stubborn women who just want to dig themselves deeper deeped into the hole. Please don't take offense easyoneverything, but when you say things like this...
Hard to say. I've often men their opinion, sometimes taken their advice sometimes not. Sometimes that's ok, sometimes not. Generally speaking, men are more challenged by the notion that I might not take their advice. My women friends are happy to offer it, hope I take it, but ultimately leave the decision up to me. Men can take it as a personal affront if you don't follow their advice. But, that's just some men. I tend not to ask them what they think. It's just easier.
It can be interpreted very, very poorly. Yes men like to get into pissing contests, but I've also known women who were practically fanatical in their beliefs, and not above arguing over similar beliefs and ideas. Men and women are different in many ways, but no one gender is above or greater than the other.
As for me...YES. I love strong women. It's a strange reaction to a serious question I know, but there is something...empowering about an intelligent, strong-willed woman. Two of my best female friends are not only gorgeous on the outside, but have the rest of their lives planned out and they can succeed without a man in their lives. They are brilliant, funny, strong-willed, independent yet willing to be open about their feelings (okay, that's a HALF-lie, one of them is very secretive and will cover the truth if it will benefit her for the short run without thinking about the long-term consequences, almost ruined our friendship). Nothing is more of a turn-off to me than someone who just goes along with whatever I say, has no opinion of her own, who only wants to be with me to fill some void in her life.
No thanks, I like my women to have opinions to liven up the relationship. | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/2/2008 9:27:57 PM |
No thanks, I like my women to have opinions to liven up the relationship
Good philosophy. I agree.
Two of my best female friends are not only gorgeous on the outside, but have the rest of their lives planned out and they can succeed without a man in their lives. They are brilliant, funny, strong-willed, independent ..... I could easily say I'm capable of living without a woman. I still dont' see how this equates to strong. Those women may very well spend their lives without a significant man in their lives, but I see my voyage in life differently. I'm not feeling empowered to know I'm 'capable' of living without a woman. I think that's one of the divisive aspects of the gender wars that's so compromising to both genders. Yeah, they 'could' live without men.
The point being?
In this paradigm, I dont' see how strong, as defined by gorgeous and fully self-sustaining, works to anyones benefit. I'm gorgeous and self-sustained, but that doesn't preclude my interest in women. This seems the impetus for many woman's quest, or conquest, of independance. Apparently, many seem to find independance synonyous with -inter-dependance, their first mistake. | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/2/2008 9:32:27 PM | ^^^^^^^^^
why should that be so hard? I don't seek the opinions of asshats of either gender, nor do you, nor do I expect you to, but you expect me to? Hmmm.
You are somewhat new to this thread so I'll let you in on a little secret: Arlo, Rock hunter, Captain Blaugh like to flame some posters and get a rise out of them. They don't really READ my posts, they just look for the two or three words that they can string together to pretend a different meaning, and then they attack that. All three of them. It's kind of a gang mentality.
If you actually read my posts, you'll see what I mean. What's really funny is when other posters read what they post, including the heavily edited versions of what I have posted, and then decide that they "know" what I'm all about here, and decide to have a go themselves about how I have deep-rooted man-hating issues. LOL! Three quarters of what I post, I get from the men I read and talk to. I get a jolly out of hiding that though, because invariably, I get men and women on here all up in arms about my 'obvious' biases.
Mostly, I just like to react to their flames with my own sarcasm for sport. I'm completely comfortable with my femininity and count a large number of very intelligent men as good friends so I don't have the insecurity that they're used to scaring off with these little boy games.
Now, wait for it .... yep, there it is, the striking of the match - flames approaching! | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/2/2008 9:34:25 PM |
BTW borntoski & manerider: ...I, personally, don't want to compete, I hate competing...I always lose..lol...however, I should point out...I feel pressure to all the time..by men and even more so women..in the "you have to think/act/feel like a man"or you aren't a healthy woman...and you are weak and needy? And I don't think I am either...but, I am "traditionally" female in a lot of ways( very un pc now too)... I long for equal as people, but different as genders...sigh...
Yes Zangie, that is exactly what I am trying to say also... | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/2/2008 9:42:22 PM | I never advised you to seek the opinions of asshats, I merely pointed out how that particular paragraph could be misinterpreted and used for ammo against you.
I apologive if I sounded like a know-it-all, I know nothing about your character, and I DID read your posts. Yes, I know all about people like them and directed my first paragraph more towards them than you. | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/2/2008 10:09:32 PM | Interesting assumption Karen; however since you are a woman and are speaking like you are ALL men and inside the head and thoughts of a man, they are really your self perceptions in reverse; i.e. you hold the belief that you are useless and have no esteem in the face of others, be it men or women, who are self sufficient (i.e. meaning they do not need you for anything). That is basic clinical psych 303. | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/2/2008 10:21:25 PM | You know, there's an awesome thought in life.
Never lead with the chin
Which is precisely how so many strong, independant women operate.
Arlo, Rock hunter, Captain Blaugh like to flame some posters and get a rise out of them
I dont'see them flaming anyone, but rather, enjoying a little humor at someone elses expense.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot....
One more saying;
If one person tells you you look like a horse, tell them to go jump. But if 10 people tell you look like a horse, it's time to buy a saddle.
Wagons hoe, possie | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/2/2008 10:24:01 PM | "One more saying;
If one person tells you you look like a horse, tell them to go jump. But if 10 people tell you look like a horse, it's time to buy a saddle.
Wagons hoe, possie"
Yeah, except if they are all men, chances are they're just bitter little boys who don't like being made a fool of and react with insults like the above. Giddup little pony. | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/2/2008 10:29:01 PM | "I never advised you to seek the opinions of asshats, I merely pointed out how that particular paragraph could be misinterpreted and used for ammo against you."
web - any time a woman voices her opinion she is likely to be misinterpreted and have her statemetns used as ammo against her. That's nothing new at all. And if it bothered me what little boys thought, I would meekly retreat to my kitchen and start scrubbing the pots in silence. Instead, I like to do a little of the same back at them, even though I know full well that will engender the ridicule of other posters who run to their defence. Mob mentality.
"I apologive if I sounded like a know-it-all, I know nothing about your character, and I DID read your posts. Yes, I know all about people like them and directed my first paragraph more towards them than you."
No apology necessary whatsoever! You didn't sound like a know it all. I simply said there is a particular type of man I don't usually request advice from because that type of guy is never happy unless I buy into it lock stock and barrel. I don't get that from female friends I talk to (I'm referring to your post here where you asked why women won't talk to men the same way they talk to women friends) and I don't get that from the majority of my men friends either. But, there are guys like that out there, and I don't really have the time of day for them, so why should I pretend that their opinion matters one whit to me? | |
|
|
| Page 56 of 65
|
25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65 |
|
Home
login 
