|
|
|
|
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:25:54 AM |
If you are put off by this, then perhaps you need to have a nice long look inside yourself and determine where you might not be measuring up to what a woman wants and needs.
My gawd, I'm exhausted just reading what I'd be expected to put up with dating the sort of woman you describe and the way you describe all the hoops I'd be expected to jump through.
Yikes.
Phweeewww.... gotta go for a nap....
 | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:28:57 AM | I was taught women were not to be touched unless,that since she's happy,we all are.
IQ wise:the 164 was years ago,and I test well.
there's a book...)
I'm amazed I am sane,'cause if smart/mensa is one side,psycohis in all it's evil,we flip that coin daily
 | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:39:00 AM | If you are put off by this, then perhaps you need to have a nice long look inside yourself and determine where you might not be measuring up to what a woman wants and needs.
A woman with so many hoops to jump through would not measure up to what I want and need, unless she's a long-haired 18-years old blonde with the body of Miss Universe, the fortune of the Queen of England, the intelligence of Einstein, the home skills and sweetness of Caroline Ingalls and the sexual prowess of a French courtesan, and also can pee beer.
Otherwise, she's just another delusional, ego-inflated would-be spinster. Let others try to reach that apple, I have a life to live. | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:47:16 AM | | I agree with oshan, seems to be a quality over quantity situation. True character is a lot more substantial and lasts longer than looks, money, sex and beer. | |
|
| |
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/5/2008 9:52:58 AM | | Because true love does not seem to see looks, money or sexuality as all of the relationship. I call it mature love . | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:06:46 AM | There are alot of effiminate males out there looking for someone to justify thier manliness, and often look to females who resemble their mothers or someone who are not as secure as they are. There are alot of manly women out there, some even have sex changes, and vice versa | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:08:50 AM | " ... let a man romance you ..." is so childish.
It implies that males "do" and females "let." In other words, women are passive and reactive; males are active and take initiatives. That is so last millennium.
As for "romance," I am very romantic and do NOT cheapen romance on the process of beginning a relationship or using "romance" like bait to attract people I do not yet know. Romance is a creative and joyful behavior developed AFTER a relationship is established, a gift you give to yourself and somebody you care about and have some commitment to. What you do BEFORE a relationship exists is flirting, and that's fun too, but it's not romance. | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:14:44 AM | | An Independant person male or female doesn't tell you about it. They are intelligently living it . It comes natural. | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:24:56 AM | | ..... well, it has been my experience that weak men are absolutely terrified of someone who will speak to truth.... while a strong, confident, well adjusted man will either agree, accept an other person's right to express their perspective or their truth and still be strong, confident and well adjusted regardless..... strong women are fearless and will champion many causes and embrace their strenght and protect others who cannot do it for themselves.... which ... historically, has been a man's role, so yes, I can appreciate that a man would feel somewhat intimidated by that.... however unintentional it may be.....just an observation.... oh, strong women have alot of self esteem and will let you know it..... that.... is a very personal opinion..... | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:33:27 AM | I'm always amazed to see how "strong women" are never strong enough as to admit that they're the only ones to be blamed by their lack of success in dating, and prefer to use the same "men are intimidated" cliché.
| |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:46:02 AM | | my question is why does it have to be I need a man or I need a woman to do things for me. can't we just want to be with each other and accept that men and women are suppossed to compliment each others lives not complete then fix them or run them. I am strong willed opinionated and self-sufficient but I don't know everything and I can't do everything and if the man I am with is better at something then me then by all means you do it. And I would do the same when it comes to what I am good at. Equality between men and women does not mean being able to do all the same things equaly well it is being of equal importance in the relationship. Just one opinion from someone who although a widow now was happily married for sixteen years. | |
|
oshan
|
Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 1463 | |
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/5/2008 10:59:15 AM | Rock Hunter writes: "Good male traits - stoicism, camaraderie, honor- were ignored."
These are not "Good male tratis...", they are good HUMAN traits....as in BOTH female and male.
 | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:09:11 AM |
These are not "Good male tratis...", they are good HUMAN traits....as in BOTH female and male.
If they're "human" and not only male, then it means both of them share the same good and bad traits. Therefore, shouldn't both of them "measure up" then?
In your entire post, you didn't mention even one thing a woman should do to become worthy of all the work you demand a man to do to "measure up to what she wants and needs". I wonder why. | |
|
oshan
|
Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 1465 | |
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:18:12 AM | Rock Hunter wrote: "A woman with so many hoops to jump through would not measure up to what I want and need, unless she's a long-haired 18-years old blonde with the body of Miss Universe, the fortune of the Queen of England, the intelligence of Einstein, the home skills and sweetness of Caroline Ingalls and the sexual prowess of a French courtesan, and also can pee beer.
Otherwise, she's just another delusional, ego-inflated would-be spinster. Let others try to reach that apple, I have a life to live. "
Pray tell....what hoops are you talking about?? I did not say anything about hoops to jump through. If you consider being assessed by someone you are getting to know over a period time is intimidating for you, then you are not living in the real world. We are ALL assessing each other continuously, and that is natural to the process of selection. If you feel that spending time with someone and getting to know them as your equal, knowing full well that person will be assessing you each step of the way, both consciously and unconsiously, just as you will be (whether you are aware of it or not), is somehow requiring you to "jump through hoops", then I think it's you who needs to learn to 'relax'. | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:22:27 AM | | Almost ever woman I have ever dated or had a relationship was very intelligent and socially aware...prefer a woman who can think for herself and has her own opinions.....thats very attractive to me. | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:24:43 AM | If you can't see those hoops, it's not my fault. "Assessing" is one thing. What you are describing is not a relationship between equals. It's more like a peasant trying to gain the favor of a princess, kneeling before her until she deigns to bestow her gaze on him.
And he not only needs to show that he's worthy, but also needs to pay for whatever bad things other men did to her. And all of that, not to finish the race, but only to reach the starting line.
And again, you didn't mention even one thing "she" needed to do to be worthy of such work.
Anyway, I already made my assessment: To do all the work you describe to get this woman, she must be a woman as I described. Otherwise, forget it. She's not worth it.
And please, dump the "intimidating" cliché. It's already too used up. | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:29:08 AM | I am one of those women who can take care of what needs taken care of on a daily basis...it sure was nice having someone to do all those things with who wasnt insecure about his strengths and weaknesses and how my strengths and weakness put together made a great combination...
I am not needy.
I will say if you want "in" that personal space where I will risk you hurting me,
you have to earn that place or create it, just I would expect to earn my place with a man I would share my life with.
I had a guy say he would "take care of it" and I say , 'okay I will pay you back, thanks"
When I paid him back as I said I would, he was surprised, disappointed, I dont know but he said" you dont like people doing things for you do you?" I told him I just didnt know how to let someone on a casual level do those things, and "no, not really, I dont like it"
It is because I have learned the price of when others do for you, what they may want in return, I may be unwilling to give.
Just my experience upon 5 years of being single after being married for 20 years. | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:36:04 AM | I love dating a woman who is intelligent and smart and who wants to take change. I find that is stimulates my mind and makes me want to get more involved with her in her world and hope taht she want to do the same in mine. I enjoy the competitive edge that we can have and makes for a great relationship.
I can be independent and still have a great woman who loves the challanges that we both face in everyday living, she has her edge in business and I have mine and together we can share views and perhaps make decisions that would benefit us both.
I don't have any hungups and loveing her is just as much fun as debating with her bumping heads from time to time makes the relationship even moreexciting but she wants her spce I can give her that as well.
This is just my thoughts on the subject
To each his own | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:56:23 AM | | Firefly37, you should have many women to choose from, you seem like the kind of man that many of us are seeking... | |
|
oshan
|
Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 1471 | |
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:57:29 AM | Rock Hunter wrote: "If you can't see those hoops, it's not my fault. "Assessing" is one thing. What you are describing is not a relationship between equals. It's more like a peasant trying to gain the favor of a princess, kneeling before her until she deigns to bestow her gaze on him. "
Well, I can't see them...so, be a sport and point them out, would you...clearly, because I have not said one thing about a man needing to jump through any hoops for me or any woman. If you can't point out where I said that....clearly.....where I have written such a thing, then you are fabricating out of desperation to support your very shakey 'arguments' which is not cool with me at all. Anyone who attempts to twist my words or misrepresent what I write will be called on it.
 | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/5/2008 12:08:19 PM | This seems to be a very interesting subject!
I for one thing have been there! I am a very independent and successful woman, who recently has gone through some family crisis! I have not been in the dating scene for some time! This is my first time trying the online! I have met some potentially wonderful men!
They were so interested in chatting with me! They found our messeges very stimilating so they tell me! When they finally met me for the first time! Everytime we would first meet! They would either pretend to be interested or claim that they were facinated and then disappear altogether without any ramp or reason why or what I did or did not do to chase them off!
My phyiscal appearance seems to scare people off for some reason! I never find out what or why I do not turn anyone one in the right reasons! I am very attractive, very outgoing and very social! I have had many fullfilments in my life! I have a great deal to share with people! I have never been successful with men! They have always never given me a real chance to shine! I am not physically attractive enough to keep their interests to even have good conversations! I am a strong woman, because I had to be strong, in order to go through this world completely alone! My family when they were alive, were never there for me really! I had to put myself through school and I excelled in professions for my passions as well to take away my many voids in my life! I have even went out and sought enjoyable things to do and enjoy, whether I had anyone or not! I am 50+ now and this having to do everything all by myself is lonily and it is getting very old! I have corresponded with several who claim to be of interest! Yet they do not respond back! If I had made mistakes, no one acknowledges me about them! So I try my best to change!
What I am saying! Is what happened to being accepted for who you are first as a person, then as a woman! What has happened to being treated as a good and decent and wonderful, fun loving person, without being made to feel that I am an odd ball for having accomplishments that maybe society feels that I should not have?
I do not want to go through the rest of my life alone! Wondering what it would be like to be accepted and enjoying others, because they want you there! Not because, they have to be there for you, or they feel that you are nothing more then an obligation to them? I am a great person! A wonderful and cultured lady with class and finesse! If only, the good men could sifle through all of the gorgious and striking ones who have those features naturally! and see those who may not be so gorgious and yet have a fantastic personality and zest for living a try! Not be so harsh and judging on my looks! I cannot change who I am! I cannot change where I am from! Just to feel welcome!
Thank you dearly for your time and patience and understanding! I wish I was beautiful and striking as some are! It would certainly help my morale and my self esteem!
just a humble and very interesting person's point of view!  | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/5/2008 12:50:40 PM | | ..... well, it has been my experience that weak men are absolutely terrified of someone who will speak to truth.... while a strong, confident, well adjusted man will either agree, accept an other person's right to express their perspective or their truth and still be strong, confident and well adjusted regardless..... strong women are fearless and will champion many causes and embrace their strenght and protect others who cannot do it for themselves.... which ... historically, has been a man's role, so yes, I can appreciate that a man would feel somewhat intimidated by that.... however unintentional it may be.....just an observation.... oh, strong women have alot of self esteem and will let you know it..... that.... is a very personal opinion..... | |
|
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/5/2008 1:02:12 PM | In simple terms: What has a woman be successful in the business world is often in opposition to being a success in relationships. (Disclaimer: Not all of it and not always).
Women, at least those roughly my age +/- ten years or so, had to prove themselves in the workplace. I suspect many of them brought those same attributes into their personal lives... not recognizing that the goal orientation, vigilance, competitiveness and assessing qualities do not make for a great relationship at all. Women speak of their success and achievements because they are proud of them and have often made sacrifices for them, but don't stop to consider that, that doesn't exactly translate to being a good partner or a good person within a relationship. It just says you've had xyz achievements. I know I fell into this trap and had to do some growth to get out of it. Still trips me up on occasion, lol.
I suspect that is what the OP was getting at with his "relax and have fun... let us romance you".
A relationship ought to be fun rather than a proving ground. It ought to be a team of two rather than two people who happen to share a residence. It ought to be more than an economic partnership.
What worked for me was to drop the enterprise or notion of relationships, quit being competitive and focus instead on relating.
Ahh, I probably should have explained this more fully, but I'm trying something new... brief posts. LOL@me. | |
|
| |
|
| Page 59 of 65
|
25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65 |
|
Home
login 
