| Dear Ladies: I beg to raise the smoking issue?
Posted: 7/13/2006 9:50:47 AM |
i'm not kissing the exhaust of a car! I'm not having to sit in a closed room with a car while it runs!
I forgot something,You don"t have to even get close to your stinking obnoxios vehicle.
I live in northern california,Some 300 miles north of San Francisco.Now I don't have a set of lips long enough to kiss their vehicles.We have done (OAQ)Outdoor air quality, studies
here ,which tell me and every other rancher here that their exhaust fumes are killing our cattle. Now you want to tell me this is healthy?You don"t have to kiss the damn thing to be poisoned by it.Compare the effects of car exhaust in the atmosphere,versus cigarette smoke/ But your healthy life style is poisoning everyone,including you.But your concerned?
BULL SH*T | |
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| Dear Ladies: I beg to raise the smoking issue?
Posted: 7/13/2006 12:07:04 PM | I'm not a woman, but I have this issue with women I date.
Apart from all the comments about smoking and the smell/taste. Yes it permeates everything, even your body odours and tastes are different when smoking.
There's something more. If its a crutch for you then that's a fatal dependence. To me its no different than an alcoholic or a drug addict. Sure its legal, but its a failing that affects a lot more than how you smell taste.
Why would anyone knowingly go into a relationship with someone addicted to a substance that is killing them AND anyone who inadvertently gets a whiff of smoke going by? Why would anyone sign up to getting emotionally attached to someone who is likely to get some horrific form of cancer and die years before they do?
Then lets talk about families, about having kids, about the example it sets for them and the effect it has on their health growing up.
As for the militant smokers who think their rights are being infringed I have one thing to say. When its OK for me to piss in your drink on the restaurant table (before you drink it), thats when I'll be OK with you smoking in my air at the restaurant. | |
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| Dear Ladies: I beg to raise the smoking issue?
Posted: 7/13/2006 12:15:54 PM | Fixit....
I think you are way off base here though.
---" Compare the effects of car exhaust in the atmosphere,versus cigarette smoke"---
The difference is that the carcinogens go directly into the bloodstream when smoking, and that in huge concentrations. Have you ever considered why everything is a dank yellow in a smokers home? Or why they cannot really smell or taste their food anymore? Or why they constantly smell like smoke?
Like I said before, I don't have to expose myself to it. It would be like me coming to your home and burning cowdung inside because I might like the smell. While that is extreme, the situation is the same. I do not allow smoking in my home, but when a smoker visits, I can smell that person - the cigarette smell - for hours after they are gone. THAT isn't fair to me.
Tasha  | |
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| Dear Ladies: I beg to raise the smoking issue?
Posted: 7/13/2006 12:22:59 PM | It stinks.
Who wants to kiss a smoker?
It is killing yourself one smoke at a time. I am looking for someone to grow old with, not someone to watch die 20-30 years before me.
I drive when I have to to get where I need to. Smokers smoke just for the hell of it. Compare it all you want, it is apples and oranges. | |
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| Dear Ladies: I beg to raise the smoking issue?
Posted: 7/13/2006 6:06:56 PM | Hi Tasha!
Hey, thanks for all your great feedback on this issue.....
Maybe someday I can put this behind me but sadly.....eh?
I am incredibly aware how bad this is for me and yet a crutch I am known as one of those smokers that is comparable to herion addiction. (There have been studies done to attest to the fact that some smokers can be so heavily addicted that it is on a par with Heroin-go figure?)
I have been wrestling fighting this dilemma for years. For the folks that think I don't care about myself and how could I do this? Snikies! I not only feel like a slep, a lepper, a heroin addict but the women I have dated, smokers and non's, I go absolutely anal to make sure this is not a problem, I have never, ever, ever, EVER had a woman or any lover tell me that I stink like cigarettes, that I sweat it out and smell.
I am so anal about this. I get in the shower after a butt if I know there is going to be contact and the women say, "your fine, just brush your teeth." I brush, then floss, then wash my face and hands and change my shirt.
I always stand downwind and blow the hit away from my face and the whole time I smoke I feel less than human, no self esteem and a piece of crap because society looks at us so harshly and after a while you begin to feel like sh&t as someone or something tells you long enough that you are sh*t then you begin to beleive it.
Now the valididty of the statements to say that, I am not arguing the statement per say,
about reeking the nicotine from your insides but this has never been said to me and all the women I have been with, just that I have never had anyone say that to me.....
I have to admit I had no idea this question would elicit so many ballistic reactions....
Again Tasha, Thanks!
best to you,
~Gianni | |
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| Dear Ladies: I beg to raise the smoking issue?
Posted: 7/13/2006 7:00:07 PM | I was raised in a house of smokers.
I married a smoker.
I have dated smokers.
I have never been a smoker.
I will not date a smoker now. I don't know if it is all the smoke I have been exposed to or what, but my airway closes at the smell of smoke now. I don't mean it is a choice of mine to hold my breath, I cannot breathe around it.
I know some people can smoke and never have respitory problem.
I do not lecture smokers.
I am getting tired of being lectured because other peoples smoking, does have an affect on my health. | |
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| Dear Ladies: I beg to raise the smoking issue?
Posted: 7/13/2006 7:05:43 PM | Dear Wild Artist:
I would absolutely never smoke around you because I choose not to smoke around anyone for that fact....
My Mom and Dad smoked and back 45 years ago it was in Vogue and was everywhere so I can relate.
Thanks for your reply.
Breathe easily, wink:
~Gianni: | |
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| Dear Ladies: I beg to raise the smoking issue?
Posted: 7/13/2006 7:31:01 PM | You're welcome.
Now if I can only get the smokers I get behind when walking somewhere to undersatnd....LOL. Dang, I hate gasping for air when I finally get where the air is clear, it hurts the lungs.
I am a college student and it is hard to pay attention to the professor when a smoker walks in reaking of smoke and my breathing stops. | |
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| Dear Ladies: I beg to raise the smoking issue?
Posted: 7/13/2006 11:51:33 PM | i didnt read any ones take on this yet but i will give you mine.
Smokers are a minority. i still smoke and i really want to quit...when i find the right girl and maybe start a family. but here in washington state they have outlawed smoking in public places. not only that, you cannot smoke within 25 feet of a public entrance! this is crap. i was never against nor for the smoking ban when it was on the table but to take away a persons god given right as an american to smoke is sh!t. washington state has the highest gas tax the highest sales tax and now we cannot smoke where we want. what happened to "the land of the free?" | |
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| Dear Ladies: I beg to raise the smoking issue?
Posted: 7/14/2006 4:34:01 AM | Gianni,
I wish you would have taken the time to actually read what I wrote before jumping to conclusions. I said that it is entirely the individual's decision to smoke, or not. I also said that based on that decision, I don't have to tolorate it around me.
(1) Why should I have to pay the increased medical costs associated with smokers?
(2) Why should I be --- ASSULTED --- by the stench of tabacco products?
(3) Why should I have to put --- MY --- health at risk from second-hand smoke so that YOU are not inconvenianced?
(4) Why should I have to deal with my clothes reeking like cigarettes and my eyes watering because YOU decided to assult --- EVERYONE --- around you with your nasty habit?
(5) Why should I have to suffer ill health and the corresponding higher care costs because folks like --- YOU --- impacting me with your disgusting habit?
--- THEN --- ask yourself: Why are you trying to justify your "addiction" which you say is like that of a "heroin addict" to others? Do you honestly believe that you're going to get sympathy and understanding for putting peoples lives at risk by your nasty and crude behavior?
Quite honestly, in response to:
---"...and the women say, "your fine, just brush your teeth." I brush, then floss, then wash my face and hands and change my shirt."---
WRONG! You will reek of tabacco smoke, and there is absolutely NOTHING you can do about it. WHY? The poisons are absorbed into your body and the body is trying its best to get rid of them. THAT is why they are being expelled.
---"I have never, ever, ever, EVER had a woman or any lover tell me that I stink like cigarettes, that I sweat it out and smell."---
They have been either keeping quiet not to upset you or their sense of smell has been so degraded by cigarette smoke that they cannot smell it? Believe me: you REEK of tabacco smoke like every other smoker. The disgusting stench is everywhere.
You're entire posting is one of denial. That YOU as a smoker should not be held responsible. That EVERYONE ELSE should have to suffer for your bad habit. That it is COOL to smoke based on your parents smoking.
I do applaud you for trying to mask your habit from others. THAT IS COMMENDABLE. I am sorry if I was so blunt, but my body is my temple and I don't want to see the belching, unfiltered smoke-stacks of a factory next to it.
Tasha | |
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| Dear Ladies: I beg to raise the smoking issue?
Posted: 7/14/2006 4:38:46 AM | Squirtamus,
---"we cannot smoke where we want. what happened to "the land of the free?"---
What happened to yelling fire in a crowded theater? What happened to phoning in bomb threats on airplanes? What happened to setting little poodles on fire in the park?
WHY should --- YOU --- be allowed to impact MY health in such an irresponsible fashion? The smoking ban isn't "crap", but well deserved and grossly overdue.
Enjoy that next cigarette as it hastens your death.
Tasha | |
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| Dear Ladies: I beg to raise the smoking issue?
Posted: 7/14/2006 4:43:57 AM | Hmmm . . . this subject brings up the passions of a political discussion.
I smoke. I hate it. I love it. I want to quit. I want to smoke. (' ') I make no sense. And I live in this mire of conflicted feelings every day thinking maybe I'll be ready to quit tomorrow, again. I am very self-conscious about it.
To all of you who talked about how our sweat stinks of smoke, I want to thank you. Like the guy who started this thread, I wasn't aware of that. I'm not surprised that we don't know that because people don't usually tell you about things you can't help . . . like sweating. Somehow that would seem too personal, like telling someone they have permanent BO.
Those who said that smokers don't care about their health and are wasting lots of money are right on. We know it's a stupid thing to do. That's why some act so defensive about it. It is very hard to feel good about yourself when you habitually do stupid things. We can't blame people who don't want to have their noses in a dirty ashtray all the time, and apparently that is how many people experience us. I can't stand to be around people who don't use deodorant either. It is what it is. Some things are just repulsive. Damn this is hard.
And by the way, "the land of the free" went bye-bye some time ago. We are the land of the parental lawmakers foisting their moral compass on us to save us from our wicked ways. Congress just passed a bill to curtail internet gambling. (' ') Go figure. | |
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| Dear Ladies: I beg to raise the smoking issue?
Posted: 7/14/2006 5:00:14 AM | Metrogal,
I don't mind being around smokers, as long as they don't smoke in front of me. As a non-smoker, I take great care not to go into known smoking areas. These are specifically for the smokers and they are welcome to puff there to thier heart's content. The gist of the topic that Giavanni in particular put forth is when you're intimate.
I have posted earlier on this thread, in response to Fixit, that smoking is an individual's choice. He, and Giavanni, should be free to continue to smoke. At the same time, it should not impact the health and purse of non-smokers.
I was very blunt with the gentlemen as they equated their smoking to a heroin addiction (Giavanni) and that society should just live with it. That is sad. I have enough troubles paying my bills, why should I now have to pay additional in health care costs because they impact my health through their habits?
Tasha | |
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| Dear Ladies: I beg to raise the smoking issue?
Posted: 7/14/2006 5:41:42 AM | | Oh for Pete's sake Tasha, " . . . I have enough troubles paying my bills, why should I now have to pay additional in health care costs because they impact my health through their habits?" Get over yourself. I am so tired of people throwing shit like that in to justify their desire to influence other people's behavior. This isn't about your health care costs. It's enough that you don't like to be around smokers. Leave it at that. | |
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| Dear Ladies: I beg to raise the smoking issue?
Posted: 7/14/2006 5:54:14 AM | It is actually about health care costs...
I have to fork out higher premiums because SMOKERS require more care on average. Think about it.
Actually - I am sick and tired of footing a part of your or any other smokers health bill. | |
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| Dear Ladies: I beg to raise the smoking issue?
Posted: 7/14/2006 6:44:56 AM | | I am a smoker.I would rather date a smoker,because the ones that I do date say I will have to chande that for you.That right there drives me very wild.I can't stand those smart ritdous commits.So I would just want to date a smoker and that is that. | |
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| Dear Ladies: I beg to raise the smoking issue?
Posted: 7/14/2006 10:08:12 AM | Geez, I have to pay a school tax and I don't have any children. I pay taxes to fix roads I'm never going to drive on. My taxes give Art Grants to plays I'm never going to see and artists who's works I can't afford to buy. And if every smoker quit tomorrow, I really don't think I'll suddenly be wealthy due to tax breaks on health care. I would hazard a guess that there wouldn't be any tax breaks.
You know in the last year, 3 people in my factory have lost pieces of their limbs in the machinery. A guy in the factory up the road lost his head - literally in a press. Each time, the resulting investigation showed that it was their fault. The guy who lost his head, disabled the safeties to get his fork truck tines in the press and then when he parked the forktruck to work inside the press, he didn't put on the safety brake, it rolled forward and hit the run button.
According to your logic, the widow shouldn't receive benefits, the 3 people that lost part of their limbs should have to pay for their own medical bills. (Not to mention that some people will be on permanent disability because of their accident. We'll be paying for them for the rest of their lives.) It was -their- fault. Why should we pay for their stupidity? It's a slippery slope that you're on. A lot of auto accidents are one driver's fault and every driver usually makes a mistake in 50 years or more of driving - luckily most of them don't result in an accident.
But if you're going to start saying that smoker's shouldn't have health care because they created their own problem... Should an alcoholic have health care when his liver finally starts to fail? When a lot of people - and not just smokers - end up needing health care, much of it was "preventable" with a little thought. You can't start saying this group doesn't deserve health care because basically you think they stink. | |
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| Dear Ladies: I beg to raise the smoking issue?
Posted: 7/14/2006 11:05:40 AM | Somjay...
I really cannot fathom your logic:
---"Geez, I have to pay a school tax and I don't have any children. I pay taxes to fix roads I'm never going to drive on. My taxes give Art Grants to plays I'm never going to see and artists who's works I can't afford to buy."---
All of these things are entirely positive, and contribute to society. SMOKING is an entirely NEGATIVE thing, which is 100% HARMFULL to society. Smoking is your choice, and your choice entirely. If someone is stupid enough to smoke and get addicted - that is their problem, not mine.
I never said that smokers DO NOT deserve health care. I said that they should have to come up for the extra costs brought on by their addiction.
Tasha | |
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| Dear Ladies: I beg to raise the smoking issue?
Posted: 7/14/2006 11:30:47 AM | Not following Tasha's comment but just a few threads of the debate with interest. The basic premise of the thread seems to have a simple answer even if the debate does not...people will simply choose who to spend their time with be they "courteous smokers" or not. But a few interesting points have been brought up that are somewhat onerous and people haven't really addressed it...
Toxicity is usually a case of concentration and duration and the comments about car exhaust were not just hyperbole... if we are going to start throwing studies around I recall one that equated a trip in a sealed vehicle to sitting in a smoke filled cafe for an equivalent period... of course if we are going to start throwing studies around probably quoting sources and locations and such would be good and like yourselves, aww it's just a friendly conversation and I couldn't be a***d right now  ...
Burning tobacco is essentially burning biomass...there is nothing inherantly worse in it than sitting around a wood fire...the thing is of course one person is on the end of it, it's small and portable...otherwise the chemical constituency as it affects someone nearby is not significantly different as far as the harm its causing.
As to the idea that everyone who uses tobacco becomes a slavering addict or only does so because they are addicted and don't want to use it, that is simply not true... that may be the case for mass-marketed domestic cigarettes that have been fiddled with for generations by big tobacco, but many tens of thousands of people worldwide use tobacco purely for pleasure and are not addicted...pipe smokers and cigar smokers for instance...
And while in those groups there most certainly are elevated instances of oral and esophegheal cancers, lung cancer rates are about the same as non smokers and the death rates are about the same. Life expectancy is either the same or longer than non-smokers...fancy that...probably because of less obsessive stress on how they intend to live forever with a perfect level of grams of fibre in their stool.
All that is an aside...
What seems to have happened here is the usual case of people deciding to let the government legislate their manners and their thinking for them... instead of being polite about their smoking they smoked everywhere with impunity until people got fed up about it...now instead of intelligently debating the Use vs. The Abuse of tobacco...and there is IMHO a great difference, we demonize the plant and its users, addicts and non addicts alike and throw the whole discussion out.
The comparison with exhaust is certainly a valid analogy...as a society we are addicted to fossil fuel vehicles no matter what the damage to the world or the economy...to wit we now equate the use of the vehicle with "the need" to have one as one poster to this thread said...
In fact having a vehicle is a priviledge limited mostly to the first world where the wealth is concentrated...the distances we have elected to travel are vast...but we have alternatives like public mass transit, carpooling, etc. The majority of the world and the majority of the poor get by just fine without private car ownership and the amount of poisoning it does to our collective lungs...its not that much of a stretch really but smokers are a much more obvious and easy target.
In reference to Tasha's post...a bottom line is that if you choose to indulge in a product - of claim to be addicted to such - that may cause any harm to yourself or others through prolonged use you have an ABSOLUTE responsibility to take charge for it. Don't smoke around anyone bothered by it...ask first. Take personal responsibility for your health. And don't expect to date someone who doesn't like smoking...this is a rather hot button that people tend to come down very passionately about one way or the other...one cannot expect to foist their views on someone else...especially a prospective date. | |
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| Dear Ladies: I beg to raise the smoking issue?
Posted: 7/14/2006 12:34:28 PM | First let me clear up a misconception I know you all have.I know on my pofile I have listed"often" smoker.All of you mistakenly think I actually light one(as in a match,lighter,etc). The reason it is there is that medically I am classed as a heavy smoker
I however haven"t actually set one of fire since 1981.In june of that year the bottom half of my right lung was removed.I however am on a "nicotine" prescribed medicine,21mcg. per day.Therefore I am a "heavy" smoker.And so that label will remain there
Now back to the topic at hand.
I'm not a woman, but I have this issue with women I date.
Apart from all the comments about smoking and the smell/taste. Yes it permeates everything, even your body odours and tastes are different when smoking.
There's something more. If its a crutch for you then that's a fatal dependence. To me its no different than an alcoholic or a drug addict. Sure its legal, but its a failing that affects a lot more than how you smell taste.
Why would anyone knowingly go into a relationship with someone addicted to a substance that is killing them AND anyone who inadvertently gets a whiff of smoke going by? Why would anyone sign up to getting emotionally attached to someone who is likely to get some horrific form of cancer and die years before they do?
Then lets talk about families, about having kids, about the example it sets for them and the effect it has on their health growing up.
As for the militant smokers who think their rights are being infringed I have one thing to say. When its OK for me to piss in your drink on the restaurant table (before you drink it), thats when I'll be OK with you smoking in my air at the restaurant.
I have friend who lves in kingston,Name is David Tonneough.He owns a web
programming service caled "CDS"
As soon as the hay season is over I will have him recommend a good restaurant
I let you piss in my drink if I can shit on your plate.Bring you date with you as it will be interesting to see if she will let you poison her and her children.I would NOT treat the fore going statement as a joke.I have NEVER let a challenge go unanswered
I drive when I have to to get where I need to. Smokers smoke just for the hell of it. Compare it all you want, it is apples and oranges.
Like all of us at times we just "think" we have to go.I will lay you odds that there are at least 10 trips a week you don"t "have" to ,make.
As to the "apples and oranges" Carcinigens are what they are from what ever source
Just that you vehicle puts some 1000 times the amounts of cancer causing agents in the air as cigarettes.
The next question is how many other hidden effects this unseen pollutant has.Like increased liver failures,endocrine faiure,spleen infections
Seems to me to many of you prefer to play ostrich when you are told you are the more dangerous ones Have go for the moment.But I WILL RETURN | |
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| Dear Ladies: I beg to raise the smoking issue?
Posted: 7/14/2006 5:25:15 PM | Gianni~
I just happened to be reading all the postings here, and I seen this one, had to read up on it. I too smoke, and understand what you mean. I once chatted with a girl for 4 months, all along having a great time of talking, laughing and a sense of feelings. Each chat time was looked forward to...Even talked of arranging a meeting in the very near future. AND THEN...I mentioned that I smoked. Everything turned from day to night in one moment. She became sarcastic and cruel. Made comments to me of my habit, pretty well putting me down. What a big surprise from what she was like before to then. Needless to say, I was insulted and hurt that just because I smoked, she'd react like that. At that point, I decided to talk less to her and I found that she wished it the same way. In the end, we stopped talking with a disliking for each other. ALL DUE TO ME SMOKING!! I asked her why she felt that way, and she bluntly told me she HATED people that smoked. I was devastated by her comments and reactions, not mentioning taken totally by surprise.
All I have to say, if you like smoking, by ALL means do it. If they don't like you for what you are or do, then they are the ones NOT worth your time. Put it this way, if I met a woman that I cared for that smoked and I didn't, I would not put her down or not go out with her. I would see this as her decision for what it's worth. | |
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kmhstx
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Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 73 | |
| Dear Ladies: I beg to raise the smoking issue?
Posted: 7/14/2006 5:55:39 PM | Why would I not date a man that smokes? Because I work daily with cancer patients and see the results of smoking everyday!
I hate the smell...its in your clothing....
I hate the taste....kissing a smoker yuck..and I have done it. I have tried to date a smoker. I just don't like it. I also don't believe in trying to change a person...so if you want to quit do it for yourself not for me...because if you don't do it for you you will just go back to it. If it is an issue for you date another smoker? There seem to be alot of occassional smokers on this site. Hell I think in my local area there are only 4 non smokers in my age range. | |
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| Dear Ladies: I beg to raise the smoking issue?
Posted: 7/15/2006 9:34:29 AM | Dear Mad Fiddler:
How's it going?
Just gotta tell ya, cudo's to you and the validity you have shone upon this explosive topic.
I absolutely LOLed on your particular brand of pinache..... Your a pip! 
Waving, smiling, giggling, laughing.....
Best to ya,
~Gianni | |
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| Dear Ladies: I beg to raise the smoking issue?
Posted: 7/15/2006 9:50:48 AM | Dear (Crazy girl) Tasha:
Thanks for replying.....
I faux paux'ed so boil me in oil. ; )
Hey, that is my point. I DONT SMOKE near anyone period, unless in the company of my fellow lepers.....
You might realize if you had known me or even dated me that you, might, just might, not be so ballistic because to know how I feel is to know me. I hate this fargin sh*t. And to know that it's has me by the cahones, just destroys me.
I am sensitive, compassionate and caring and would never ever subject YOU or anyone to my
second hand smoke.
Having said that,
I realize now that from the intellectual posts and the zealous who harangue over this and yet don't even realize that there is far worse things on this planet and will quit but won't feel so bad about it until I do because again I DO NOT PUSH MY HABIT on anyone........
I am somewhat sorry for raising this post because I didn't intend to start a flame or even raise the dander of some. But at the same time am heartened to hear the stories of others that battle this daily and have compassion for each other and the one's that don't and prove their mettle....
Lastly, I have been blessed by meeting some gals recently that do not care that I indulge
and are VERY AWARE that I am seriously consider giving it up because. I'll be the first to admit, I think because I was/am carrying a little baggage that it is a dependancy.
So again, sue me, boil me in oil, kick me for bearing my insides and proving that I am mortal,
human and above all, someone who walks a path with a heart.
Walking away as the wind blows by me.... ; )
Best to you,
~Gianni | |
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