| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 7/21/2006 5:41:48 PM | A-ha-ha! I can't believe I'm hearing this. You sir, have no idea what you're talking about. If it wasn’t for my respect for people older than me, I’d so be using the many words that are on the tip of my tongue right now to insult you for your blatant writing.
If you truly truly loved your wife you would be happy that shes found happiness.
You know what? There are certain doings that kill the love. The illusion of loyalty may have very well been the main reason why skrat2003 loved his spouse.
I don't tend to judge without hearing both sides, but there is no valid excuse for having an extramarital relationship. If she had a problem with skrat2003, she should’ve talked it over with him instead of doing $h!t behind his back and then smiling at him like nothing happened. Failing to justify the actions of such morally unstable individuals with commitment issues, I personally couldn’t be less concerned about their well being.
skrat2003 is right; It would be only fair if his cheating ex went through the same kind of pain to know what it’s like. | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 7/21/2006 5:46:32 PM | Oops. I have to explain that the above posted is a reply to the following message by Luckybushpilot:
If you truly truly loved your wife you would be happy that shes found happiness. By the sound of your attitude its obvious why she stepped out. You sound like a miserable, bitter person and I would be surprised if you had any friends either. I have a solution. Smile, even if you don't want to. Force yourself to think positive. Garaunteed, your attitude will follow. If that doesn't work after a week, go down to your local gun dealer and buy a 12 gauge. Put it in your mouth and DO THE RIGHT THING. | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 7/21/2006 6:00:41 PM | v aquarius,
you should have told the man what you really thought of him , his an idiot.
You are understand the truth and are to be commended for your reply. | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 7/21/2006 7:21:55 PM | | I agree with Darkhorse7 - therapy will help alot - as will time. I understand what you are going through...like many others I too have been cheated on. You have a choice....to wallow in the agony and sorrow of it....or pick yourself up (with help - here's where therapy comes in) and learn that gradually, with time, you can feel happy and like yourself again. Don't let your life be ruined by this. | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 7/21/2006 7:22:38 PM | OMG ... i have only one thing to say .. luckybushpilot .. that has got to be the worst thing i have seen anyone write in response to a thread yet .. it is not in my nature to name call .. but .. no there is no word .. there is no animal i would insult by calling you by its name .. and even idiot .. i think refers to an innocent person incapable of rational thought .. you are lower than low. I most certainly hope that the individual you directed your terrible words at is above your b.s. and is aware that they are so much the better for being free of a cheater .. and obviously a much better use of flesh than you!
and i have to ask are you the jerk that did his wife ~ you deserve her!
again.. i am so sorry that this happened to you mr. fineherb .. you didn't deserve it .. and i hear no nasty attitude .. i hear hurt that you didn't deserve.. i hope you will focus on the sane people who have responded to your post.. ignore those that should take their own advice! ..
lotsa love, luck and peace herbman!
now i'm going to see if this busha'hole has a pic .. so i can avoid him and warn my friends!
oh you might know .. the coward is married.. looking for an intimate encounter and of course hasn't the parts to post a pic ..! he is obviously thinking with his LITTLE head and it appears to be infected! | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 7/22/2006 8:50:54 AM | Luckybushpilot is an ***hole!!!
He will be sleeping in the spare room because he is a LOSER!!!
Best of luck to the decent men and women here!! | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 3/13/2009 7:26:02 PM | | Damn your right....mine was a serial cheater found out yrs later. Don't see anything the way I used to...everything tainted and different...my life IS CHANGED...AND HIS ISN'T - SHIT TOO..MY PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE IS DESTROYED AND DON'T KNOW HOW TO GO ON....THAT IS WHAT MINE DID TO ME...EVERYTHING I LOOK AT AND SEE IS SO MUCH DIFFERENT.. | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 3/13/2009 10:16:08 PM | thefineherb,
it can take a good while before you're emotionally available and truly attracted to another woman.
there's nothing wrong with you and how you feel right now as it's all part of processing what the heck went down here.
now is a good time to continue your grieving process and you'll know when your ready to get back out there and start a new relationship with someone.
if you have a few good friends be with them and get out there and start enjoying your life.
the rest will come in time as time is the key thing here.
if the ex continues to push her way back into your life, get a restraining order on her...
you owe her nothing. | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 3/14/2009 10:06:43 AM | It sucks when you have to put in 60+ hours a week to bring in enough dinero to keep the bills paid, I know.
May I suggest only dating co-workers (or wherever you spend the most time)? Even though there's that awkwardness if it doesn't work out and you still have to interact with each other at work, at least you have the familiarity of place and time.
Think of this logically:
Your ex got lonely because you weren't around. She got a job, at a different place than you work, and, because the job took all of her time, she took the next, convenient, logical step. You should do the same. | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 3/14/2009 11:52:45 PM | cheaters ruin lives
Yup...that's a no brainer. In terms of what to do, for one, you will get over it...trust me...it's actually situations like this that make it a lot easier to get over that person as opposed to losing someone who has been an amazing SO..just give it time...but dont go back or have any further communication with the person at any capacity...that just prolongs the stupidity and unhealthy situation. Secondly, you will find someone better...no doubt...and you will find the cheating partner will no longer have a place in your heart...which is surprising considering how much you thought you cared for this person to feeling absolutely nothing for them. I know its a crappy period of time and life to experience but just hang tight and itll pass. So, good luck...let time and space get you through it  | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 3/15/2009 12:56:56 PM | | One try and give up? There are people who have been through ORDEALS (abuse, drugs,ect.) and they manage to make their way back. Not downplaying anything b/c that situation sucks but meeting other women seems to help. Just keep at it. | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 3/16/2009 4:54:46 AM | Take your time, it will take time...
Took me 2 years. I had one date, and it was maybe two weeks ago. I left my fiancee Christmas 06'.. I waited that long, it was necessary for me. | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 3/16/2009 11:35:36 AM | Cheaters lie, manipulate and try to make others think they are wrong or crazy. It's a tactic that works on some, but not all. I dated on/off a guy from POF seattleslew and knew from early on that something was wrong. I broke it off a few times but the last straw was I caught him in some lies. Before that I was falling for his manipulations even though I knew something was "off". He didn't break my heart because I didn't give it to him, I felt sorry for him and thought I could fix him. Big mistake!
He admitted to doing pot, but said he was honest man. Told me it was my problem that I didn't trust him. Anyone who tells you to trust them is NOT trustworthy. I hung around long enough to validate my concerns. I wasted 6 months on that loser.
Advice to anyone thinking their partner is up to something - THEY ARE! It's called your gut instinct and its there for a reason - to warn you of bad things. If you feel anything is not right, talk to them and if you feel they are lying, keep at them. Liars will get angry or turn it around on you, anything to not admit they are lying. Its a game to them and they are sick. Anyone involved in their evil game gets hurt.
Don't try to be friends with them again. And I warn other women to not trust him. He cheated on his wife, his gfs, his fiance and every woman he's known. His daughters don't have anything to do with him and won't allow him at the weddings. Liars have many faces, personalities and tactics. Don't get sucked in and if you are, get out! And stay out.
We have all been involved with this type, just learn from it and don't get involved again. There are lots of great people in this world. Don't let a few creeps ruin your trust or ability to have a great relationship.  | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 3/16/2009 2:19:49 PM | ^^You're absolutely right...my gut instinct didn't trust the cheater I was unfortunate enough to have come across either...and he said to me...what can I do to get you to trust me...lol...unbelievable...it's just a sick game for them to manipulate people and complicate you in their unhealthy twisted way of existence...to which I said "nothing"...I need to figure it out myself...other then the fact...does he not understand that only trustworthy people are worthy or are capable of gaining trust from others...their thought process must be so delusional/removed from reality that they believe they can fool anyone...and just sheer narcissistic behavior...for him it wouldn't be about genuinely gaining your trust...it would be about him winning & being able to delude you...it's all about him...his wants...his needs...his desires...his challenges...and nothing to do with other people in his life and how he affects them...and people don't be fooled or believe you can change him...they will ruin and manipulate anyone who crosses their path including family as they have no sense of empathy for anybody but themselves. I recommend staying clear of these people...and in time perhaps these sorts will have to resort to each other...and only have each other to delude, manipulate and cheat on, as they would be the only people that would thrive in that type of existence and put up with such game playing/nonsensical behaviors, and perhaps leave the honest people out of it...IMHO that's how the world should be  | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 3/16/2009 5:43:07 PM | | she won't change. she is evil. cheaters are evil - they are COWARDS. you deserve better than that!!! come on now! i know its devastating with all those questions, but, you have your answers. she's an immature cruel person. let it go! take out the trash! | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 3/17/2009 4:33:53 PM | My ex cheated on me constently. I cheated on him once and man the world came to an end, but by the time I did it I thought I had no emotions to feel anything about anyone. Not an excuse just telling what I thought at the time. I wanted to feel something about someone and have a good feeling from someone. People in a relationship stop feeling. They forget what fun they had when they first started going out with eachother.
I have been divorced and single for 20 years and miss doing things with someone. A couple years ago I met a man that I thought I had things in common with but when I asked him about a date to watch the Kentucky Derby. He had other plans. RED FLAG! He finally said he wanted to take me out after work  My happiness dashed when he drove into a motel 6 but don't dispair just yet as he was in getting a room I looked in the glove compartment and found his full name and address.  (go me) yep I did a background search and followed my gut. He had a live-in. I kept the affair going...Why you ask? because he was a FB nothing more. He talked about getting married and I went into a panic attack...I had to do theropy on myself which ment writing it down and work it all out. sometimes it was just like a fantacy. If someone cheats with you they will cheat on you. His live-in did find out because I laced my sheets with vanilla body spray...DUH!!! And in all his lies to me I knew...I always told him I didn't have blonde roots... I also think he was cheating on his wife with her....  | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 3/17/2009 4:55:05 PM | I forgot to say he gave me an STD which shortly after I told him of my check-up and my bacterial infection that was not sexually transmitted he stopped the affair...go figure... | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 6/3/2009 3:46:30 PM | If this can help, I have been there, done that several times.
All the posts that I read about cheaters concentrate their focus only on one thing:
What the cheaters are doing and what are their motives and la-lah-lah more.
Again, it takes two to tango, cheater and cheated. One does and two agree to accept things, otherwise and in fact, there wouldn't be two in the same boat.
You made the cut above the SCheater, but did not move on with your thoughts, and guess what? Our brains are mere thoughts processors... we act accordingly with our thoughts. Free yourself, shift your focus on the bright side of life and maybe you would be like a super rock star!!!
Focus on self-improvement, really embrace the thoughts of pursuing hapiness - things that makes you smile and not cry, have a life, inspire and aspire whatever!
There is plenty things to do and to fill a life time instead thinking of and deepening into sorrow and SCheaters... don't you think??? Unless you're a sufferer-pro.
I cannot recall if I ever saw things like this in the wild animal world, there is little time for thinking in the future and what and ifs... live the precious present, one step at time, unless you're bionic, then it would be a little bit advantage ahead of all of us mere humans... but would be able to stop time? It takes about over a light speed to begin with... without mentioning how to upkeep...
Shift your focus and smile for the best you want to make out of what you have and that is your own life.
Cheers!!! | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 6/3/2009 10:35:17 PM | Sounds like she got tired of waiting at home for ya.
Ask yourself if you neglected her emotional/physical needs with your big 60 hour work week...and if so...you've learned a valuable lesson.
Never force a person into a position where they may find love waiting for them elsewhere.
They aren't your possession. Cheaters usually don't want to be with the one they are with anyway...they just don't know how to leave or they are afraid of being alone. | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 6/4/2009 5:33:38 PM | Women cheat. It's what they do. Just hit em and quit em! | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 6/4/2009 5:48:04 PM |
Sounds like she got tired of waiting at home for ya.
Ask yourself if you neglected her emotional/physical needs with your big 60 hour work week...and if so...you've learned a valuable lesson.
Never force a person into a position where they may find love waiting for them elsewhere.
Oh yeah thats the answer, (Blame the victom).
there is no excuse for cheating.
cheaters should be shot in the knees and thrown in a swiming pool full of rusty thumb tacks naked and dipped in swamp water. | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 6/4/2009 11:17:48 PM | You loved her.
She cheated.
You judged her, condemned her, dumped her.
And now you're wanting help? With what?
Learning how to forgive? Learning how to let go? Learning how to find someone who won't betray your misplaced trust?
OP...no one can fix this for you. You're an adult now and that means you need to think for yourself.
She didn't choose to end this relationship...you did. Her solution was to cheat. Yours was to refuse her presence in your life.
Choose what you want. Know what you want. Do your best to live up to your plan and loosen your expectations around outcomes because as you've seen, it doesn't always come out the way you expect.
Grown ups know this. | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 6/4/2009 11:43:57 PM | | That'll work for a while. What will you do when your looks are gone and you can't even "hit it" anymore? Chicks want to be with beautiful chicks you know.... | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 6/4/2009 11:53:25 PM |
Oh yeah thats the answer, (Blame the victom).
there is no excuse for cheating.
cheaters should be shot in the knees and thrown in a swiming pool full of rusty thumb tacks naked and dipped in swamp water.
That still doesn't change the fact that what you lack in love is forgiveness. May God have mercy on your soul.
And may you never be judged as harshly as you judge. | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 6/21/2009 6:18:47 AM | yes they do...if you let them....you are a young man....live your life and live it good,things happen when it is time...and really at the age of 20 you shouldn't be trying to find your life partner,make some lifelong friends and live it up....you are not who you 'll be in 6 years...we grow,we change and we expierence alot in our early to mid 20's...enjoy being single...date,date date....there are still faithful people out there so don't let one destroy all your faith in us....live to learn and learn to live....don't let those great learning years be wasted....have fun,be happy and let life offer up what it has...barefootncrazy... | |
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