| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 6/26/2009 4:03:57 AM | | I notice phrases like" all men all women"...." most men most women". the best thing to do is let is rest, dont get into anything right away. have a clear mind, and yes the sacrife of being alone sucks, but in the long run it works. nobody wants to do the work anymore . everyone wants instant potatoes. give yourself a break. your life isnt over. you sound like a good person. dont hold a grudge for the next person. | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 6/26/2009 7:05:38 AM | I totally agree
focus on putting your energies in a postive place where positive outcomes will come of it... I know its a grieving time and each one of us is entitled to feel the loss..
I can sypathyize with all because I was in an arranged marriage for 15 years was sent overseas at the age of 15 came back to australia only 15 years later to find out he was in bed with another women and had married her was planning to marrywomen because his religion allowed him....so devistated and heart broken ... started doing profiles on dating sites 2 years later.... I was chatting to a guy on findsomone a dating web site ... he was from the west and I am from sydney central .... I gave up my time traverling to see him back and fourth and did most of the traverling ... I should of seen the red flags waving but I just chose not to ... after being with him for one month I get this premonition that some how I dont trust him ...I found txt sent I love YOU ...to his ex
A big heart or maybe out of desperation at the time I forgave him ... He did it again
I forgave him found that he was still talking to her .... his explanation ... I love everyone I have ever been with ... that tells me emotionallyunstable and wants to own as many people as he can ... Of course being a Taurus ... No offence Taurus .... pathetic me fogave him again on ly 6 months later realized after she had called me telling me to get my boyfriend off her back and that she was now engaged ... she said he rang every week telling her how much he loves her ... can you believe this I again symathized with him ... only to realize he was on 100s of dating sites giving out his number and talking thilthy and dirty ... now he says oh its just a fantasy and nothing ever happens ... very funny ... then whats with giving out your numbers ... do you want to own all the women in the world .... I finally left after this and it was a month ago ... Im on here purely to chat no dates cause my heart will not constantly give over .... I trusted him and forgave him so much .... he thought it was a weakness .... little did he know that it is a strength to be compassionate and understanding if someone did truely love someone and then there heart was broken .... that is why I stayed for long cause he was hurting and I thought at the time it is best to there... but the emails on these dating sites where a big eye opener .... by the way there is 15 years between us Im 35 and he is 50 .... He cries when he sees me cause he knows he has hurt me .... and I hate how I have a soft spot for that ...... he just doesnt know what he wants
please help any suggestions
thank you | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 6/26/2009 7:25:11 AM | OP,
Unfortunately like so many thousands of people do of both gender's I found myself as a statistic. At the close of my marriage I found out that my former wife had been with this older married man before I married her. he was 40 and she was 18, he is actually 23 years older than me.
Take stock of your self worth, realize that " You " are better without this person. It does take time, and counceling does help. Refelect on what you have to offer, and be more cautious to move in right away with someone. Definetly date for at least a year, and then if all feelings are mutual become engaged. Only one more thing remain apart from moving in together until you marry. | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 6/26/2009 7:49:22 AM | Hello Brave Heart,
I applaud you for your compassion, but unfortunately too many undeserving people use what you share and disregard it with little or no thought. The difference in years between you and your ex is actually 5years+ the gap between my former wife and her current husband who she cheated on me with.
Without sounding full of BS, You are a Beautiful Woman, and you will find someone closer to your age that will love you for all the wonderful memories that will be shared by both of you in the years to come. I divorced my son's mother nine years ago, and dated only three times since.
Life as we know it is full of ups and downs, we just have to navigate around the hills to find the peaceful valley. | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 6/26/2009 10:16:22 PM | | no one deserves it..i have taken back man 4 times, just recently he cheated again, or to him it wasnt vcheating, cus he broke up with me and ruined his family life 4 days before he was with her, and takjin him back was my mistake yes, but not my fault at all. Cheaters are liars, it is their fault this happened becuase they cant make a commitment. | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 6/26/2009 10:53:14 PM | | I know first hand what cheating can do, But I'm glad I ended things before she had a chance to screw me up, Over all in my case I was cheated on for not being mean enough and wouldnt hurt my her She wanted me to be abusive and I'm not that kind of person. So ever bodies reason for beign cheated on is different some dont ever find out the reason others find it out to late, I hope this helped alittle | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 6/27/2009 5:04:08 AM | | I know it's the most terrible feeling in the world. I found out my husband cheated on me last year (while he was laid off and i was working my a** off to pay the bills) We ended it immediately...but the feeling I still have inside is...empty? broken? Like I feel like I may never lova again...It's horrible...because I just can't get close enough to anyone. But I still keep hope that I will find someone...and you should too... Take time to figure yourself out... | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 6/27/2009 8:49:06 AM | Enable a cheater and he will do it again and again and again. When there are children involved, people want to make it work out. But the fact of the matter is that it is not enough to forgive someone and then let them back into your life because they said they were sorry. In a situation like that, nothing gets resolved and the problem remains. Also, while they take the biggest part of the blame, people in the relationship should realize it happened because you ENABLED them. Therefore, everyone is to blame.
People do things to see how far you go with them. Not saying that you caused it. Some people get so comfortable and let their guard down. Always be aware in a relationship. If it doesn't feel right because it isn't.
So if anyone can enlighten me, how does a cheater ruin your life? Do you stop eating, sleeping, breathing because some low life cheats on you? Do you stop going to work and feeding your children? Financial difficulties happen to everyone which is why my folks taught me and my sisters to always learn to depend on ourselves instead of a man because your husband can walk out on you, you can throw him out, or he could pass away. Luckily, I have a good family and always had good times with them and the friends who helped me through the difficult times. So no, I don't think cheaters ruin lives except their own. As a matter of fact, it was better when he was out of my life.
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 6/27/2009 9:49:26 AM | | yea i have been cheated on once. just recently. sure we have only been dating for like 2 months. but get this guys my boyfriend and my best friend were the ones who slept together.... it hurts soooo much finding out. hes the one who came out and told me. a month later. i hate him soooo much its unbelievable,and her too yes. i was starting to love him though | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 6/27/2009 1:56:12 PM | old thread but valuable 2 new victims of the cheat, most of us have been there (ever noticed how they make out ur crazy wen u suspect s,thin & then tell u they would never hurt u cos they love u then wen u finally find out they have the ordacity 2 blame u?) took me yrs 2 climb back up that long long road, lost my career and e,thing had 2 endure him being there wen picking up my daughter every w,end and hurt like hell but trust me reader u will come back a better person and never 4get they aint worth it, takes time but u will!!! get there | |
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| cheaters ruin lives
Posted: 6/27/2009 2:36:22 PM | Darkhorse you are so right in what you say... i had a nervous breakdown due to an unfaithfull ex husband and other issues in my past and have suffered severe depression and hospitalization , many serious suicide attempts, self harm ect for the past 9yrs ...believe it or not i have always refused therapy ect... mainly due to my stubborness and the belief i can beat it myself but since i have had therapy ect ...i am at last seein the light at the end of the tunnel...just wished i had took what was offered to me sooner...
VERY GOOD ADVICE... alot of people not all knock therapy but believe me from my experience it's makin me (and got to admit after some sessions it's very easy to just walk of the nearest cliff or building ) accept and deal with all my past issues... | |
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