| Does age matter?
Posted: 2/13/2007 7:50:33 PM | | No age doesnt matter, its if you love one another, and you are compatable, and you like doing the same things , go for it its better to have really loved and been loved than to never have loved at all, so you may miss being loved more by this person than anyone will ever love you so dont miss it if you both have that much love for each other. | |
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| Does age matter?
Posted: 2/13/2007 8:24:16 PM | Yes I believe age matters a great deal when you are still in your teens and early 20s. Just to show you how much, tell me what you knew about life and love and the world 10 years ago when you were 9 years old. What were you studying, enjoying? How much have you learned about life in that time frame of 10 years? I will guarantee you no longer think like a 9 year old. You have a much broader view of life and what it holds for you. I will also guarantee you that in another 10 years you will have an entirely different perspective. Anyone over 30 knows this fact.
Would you date a three year old? Why not if age doesn't matter? Because someone 16 years your junior has 16 years less experience in life. You can surely relate that you've grown and progressed in your thinking a great deal in the last few years. You're just starting your life as an adult. To a 19 year old it seems really sophisticated that a 35 year old has an interest in you. Makes you feel they see something "mature" in you.
Why would a 35 year old have an interest in a 19 year old? Why are they not interested in someone whom they know has stretched their wings and learned about life? If age had no bearing in life we'd have no age restrictions. The only possible exception I could see is if you are very well educated already (went to college at 12) and you're well traveled and know what life is about.
I would NOT consider age a barrier if you were in your mid-to late 20s. The same growth rate from 9 to 19 is still going on from 19 to your mid 20s. In 10 years you'll look back and wonder why on earth you thought this was a plan. The only thing I can see that would have a 35 year old eyeing a 19 year old is the control factor. (the sex and trophy factor is a given)
If you were in your late twenties I wouldn't care if you dated a 60 year old. You've had a chance to live life as an adult and have faced adult conflicts and resolutions by then.
I would strongly suggest enjoying your life with friends and family and check back with the guy in 5 years to see if he's still available if you're still interested. Just my opinion and you're welcome to ignore it if you chose. | |
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| Does age matter?
Posted: 2/13/2007 9:45:57 PM | Not if both of you are happy. Don't let the "nay" sayers change your opinion and make you start questioning your feelings. Only YOU can decide if you're comfortable and happy in your situation. If you love this man and he loves you I say to Hell with what others think. There is all too little happiness in our world and if you've found it, then cling to it and don't let go. Age is only a number and it only matters as much as you let it. Wouldn' you rather have several years of happiness than a lifetime of mediocrity? I know I would.
The one thing I've learned is that nothing lasts forever, forever doesn't even exist. Enjoy what you have for as long as you have it and when/if it goes away, don't cry because it's gone, rejoice because you had it. | |
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| Does age matter?
Posted: 2/13/2007 10:49:04 PM | I agree age doesn't matter a lot when you are already over 30. Prior to that age though I think that there is a huge difference between a 20 year old and someone into their 30's and that could be the clincher.
Also if you ask me I find that older women and younger men appear to be the most successful and happiest couples I've seen yet. Women seem to outlast the men so I'm not sure how you will feel when you're 30 and he's almost into retirement.
Just don't rush anything - at 19 you still have lot's of time to do your homework. | |
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| Does age matter?
Posted: 2/14/2007 12:31:54 AM | | When I was your age I was dating a 36 year old for a while and after while it just didn't work because for me he had already done and experienced a lot and I was just new to wanting to party etc....you are both a different spots in your life so good chance it won't work but there is always the exceptions that do happen. | |
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| Does age matter?
Posted: 2/14/2007 1:32:29 AM | Hello all, I hope all is well. IMHO, as long as you're of legal age, it's just a number. My soon to be ex-wife is almost 38 and she has the maturity of 10-12 yr old and that is not an exaggeration by any means (She was recently diagnosed). I won't mention her name out of respect but you can't always go by chronological age. My friend's girlfriend is 21 and she has the maturity of a 35-40 year old and wise beyond her years. So each situation is different and the only ones who know whether it is right or wrong is the couple themselves. I have recently found the love of my life. She is 52 & I'm 48 almost 49. Compatibility is definately the key as someone mentioned earlier. I know a couple that are 25 yrs difference and it has worked for 20 years so each is different. Each one of us deep inside knows what works best for us. Good luck to all and God Bless.
Steve | |
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| Does age matter?
Posted: 2/14/2007 7:20:29 AM | | I think that age is only a number. If your happy in your relationship and the age doesn't bother you then I wouldn't worry about it. All that matters in a relationship is that your both happy : ) | |
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Ahhh!
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Joined: 11/25/2006
Msg: 57 | |
| Does age matter?
Posted: 2/14/2007 7:35:35 AM | | I recently went out with a guy who was 12 years older than myself. I didnt' think it would bother me, but...I really felt uncomfortable when we finally did meet. It was the first time I went out with someone of his age, but it made me realize I don't think I will do it again. I won't say 'never', but it is the way I feel now. | |
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| Does age matter?
Posted: 2/14/2007 8:05:44 AM | Once you're 21, its not a big deal. It's a personal choice, nothing else.
Before then it can be a hurdle, because in alot of places you need to be 21 to get into the adult venues or drink at dinner. In Canada, 19 is the magic number, but I still say 21 because alot of people zip south of the border for quick trips here and there quite regularly... if they live close to the border I mean. | |
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| Does age matter?
Posted: 2/14/2007 8:16:21 AM | no age shouldnt and does it need to matter
if your over te age of 21
anything under that age yes age matters
i feel the older i is then the need as to ge is not an issue because one know better or has the commin since to know if the age is an issue or not
i dated someone for 5 yrs who was alot older then me at te time
and im still older and if one comes along who is older i wont let it hold me back
but i do have a limit
i say if you have things truly in common and seriously do like each other for who you are
then enjoy life that is what we all are looking for | |
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| Does age matter?
Posted: 2/14/2007 8:26:36 AM | I have dated men obscenely younger than myself. The love of my life and mate of my soul was 30 years younger than me. I wouldn't trade a second that we shared. We knew it would not be a forever thing because I wanted him to have the life I already had and I loved him enough to allow that to happen.
It's funny. If a woman dates a much younger man, they wonder what's wrong with him, he must have a mother complex or she must be some kind of pervert. If a man dates a much younger woman, it's "Way to go, dude! Rock on!" The age issue presents the double standard at its most obvious.
My personal view that genuine love - no matter what age it comes at - is a gift to be cherished, with eyes wide open to each other. | |
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Kame
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Joined: 2/5/2007
Msg: 61 | |
| Does age matter?
Posted: 2/14/2007 8:28:52 AM | | I myself think it is ,I wouldn't go past 7-8 years either way myself ........just want to have something in common with the guy Im with,but I suppose if you can make it work between the 2 of you then its worth a try .....I just think as you both age someone's going to have wondering eyes towards someone closer to her own age ,but that's just my opinion | |
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| Does age matter?
Posted: 2/14/2007 8:39:57 AM | | It matters to me. Many of the men who approach me are older than my father. I want to tell them that I already have a daddy. | |
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Kame
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Joined: 2/5/2007
Msg: 63 | |
| Does age matter?
Posted: 2/14/2007 8:43:10 AM | | Iv wondered where you've been angelaisthcoolest.....good to see you back in the forums again! | |
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| Does age matter?
Posted: 2/14/2007 11:15:15 AM | | Age is a state of mind and little, if anything, to do with the age of one's body. I have dated women much younger and much older than myself and it always came down to their maturity level mentally, never physically. | |
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| Does age matter?
Posted: 2/14/2007 12:52:47 PM | B/c you're 19, probably so. I mean, he's got lots of life experiences and you just don't. You can't help it; you just haven't lived long enough to have them.
That being said, I married a 38 y/o when I was 21 and we were married for 7 years. None of our problems were b/c of our 17 year age difference other than I expected him to be more mature than he was.... | |
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| Re: Does age matter?
Posted: 2/18/2007 7:15:54 PM | Sara - I find that younger women, like yourself, who tend to gravitate toward older men may be looking for a "daddy" (I call it the "daddy complex"), not a sugar daddy per se, but someone who can teach them about life, who is experienced, already established in life, and someone to admire. But the problem is these older men who date much younger women do not want someone to challenge them, and are usually controlling b/c they know they have the upper hand. They usually have more to offer (especially financially) than younger men (usually), but the generational gap can be a problem when trying to find things in common and in conversation. It's a totally personal thing, so I can't say it's bad necessarily.
I'm the opposite. I have a really hard time dating older men, and tend to gravitate toward younger men. I have a very young mentality, and I'm not as cynical as a lot of older men tend to be. Many older men are apathetic about love b/c they've been put thru the ringer and stop believing in dreams b/c they are too "grown up" for that. Younger men have less baggage, dream more, and have more enthusiasm overall. They look at life differently it seems (in my experience anyway). More passion, more spark, more life force!
So, really it's up to the individual on what they prefer. I tend to go younger. I keep trying to stay around my age or older just to try it, but why keep trying to fit a square peg into a circle? No one should settle b/c people think that's the "norm" - everyone should keep looking until they find someone they really love. That's my take. good luck and hope you find what you're looking for, if it's with this guy or someone else!   | |
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| Re: Does age matter?
Posted: 2/18/2007 7:49:12 PM | Kind of a moot point right now, as the OP is pushing 22 now.
This post is almost 3 years old. Way to bring it back from the dead. | |
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| Re: Does age matter?
Posted: 2/18/2007 8:12:43 PM | Oh wow, I didn't even notice that! hahahahaha oops... It was interesting so I didn't even look at the dates. But if anyone cares, feel free to post, if not, oh well! no worries mate!  | |
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| Does age matter?
Posted: 2/18/2007 8:15:55 PM | | If it is a sexual relationship, have fun. Otherwise, 19 years old is too young to have a boyfriend. You should be out exploring the world and meeting as many men as possible. You should be searching for what you want, what you like, and what you don't want and dislike. At the same time, you shoud have some goals in your life, like graduating college, establishing a career and other various things. You should not date seriously until you have reached these certain goals. Enjoy the sex with the 35 year old man, but don't get settled in. | |
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| Does age matter?
Posted: 2/18/2007 9:06:43 PM | Sara1904, love has no age and your heart will show that.
Whoever says age matters has other insecurities about the or a relationship and since age is an obvious conversation starter it gets alot of reviews.
Just know yourself and accept your feelings whatever they are and that age discrepancy that most raise their eyebrow at will be only their problem..., don't let it be yours.
Take care and may you find all the happiness and love that you heart and hand can hold.
p.s i find it funny when some people always feel the need to point out that age is a problem, all of it's negative attributes like dating someone your own age has any good.lol..but they never point out the positive qualities.
Sara1904 you go ahead and find out what those positive qualities are because I have. | |
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| Does age matter?
Posted: 2/18/2007 9:20:14 PM | I say go for it and give it a try... the only time age really matter's is when one of the people involved in a relationship is under 18 years old.. other then that.. I say go for it.
I'm 36 and dating a man who is 53 years old.. thats a 17 year difference and we have a wonderful relationship actually best relationship I've ever had.
Good luck to you. | |
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