| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 6/6/2006 6:56:56 AM | This is my perverted imagination at its worst and I certainly don't condone this sort of behaviour but
If a peeping tom has a clear view of a good block of flats, mostly the bathrooms and bedrooms, and spends his evenings in a good hiding spot outside with his binoculars in one hand, and his dong in the other then he's still more likely to cop a stiffer (no pun intended) penalty, if caught, than either a wife or a husband basher. | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 6/6/2006 7:27:52 AM | that's good advice if you trust the police!
i just avoid all women that are menbers off the 911 is my best friend club.
cop callers are easy to spot.
there's no real solution to this issue.
it's the man's responsibility to see the problem ahead of time and walk away. | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 6/6/2006 7:37:51 AM | The one thing I have learned is that the law looks at you as the stronger sex so if you date an abusive woman and she is either petite or that you are simply bigger than her, they won't take you seriously that much, in my experience at least. My ex was 5'3 and me 6'1 so when I left her for abuse, physical and mental, I had to be very careful to make sure to leave and not come back. I still hear about men telling me that their wifes/gf abuses them but they go back because they love them. If you really love someone, you wouldn't be aggressive. If you are, you should simply stay alone until you realize what you are and what you can do to change, or understand your behaviour. I haven't been too lucky, maybe being a nice guy you become a target for these women and when we understand that pattern, we can change it. It is our responsibility to accept who we are and to surround ourselves with people like ourselves. If we are decent, responsable and respectful, we should make friends like that as they will most of the time not show any of those aggressions as they are not like that. When I tell women I want to meet, talk, take it slow, I want to see the good and the bad as not to get into another one of those relationships anymore. Some women find it funny as they want to find out more, especially sexually (as I am a ballroom dancer and...) but I say don't worry, when the right one comes along, she must be like you, passionate and willing so I don't worry. Abuse is so regarded as male oriented, but we live in a society that a lot of women know the power they have in court, over men and they sometimes abuse it. For the ggod ladies, the ones that aren't like tat, that's what men like me want in their lives. My friends, most of them women, are sweet and good natured, now to only let love find itself, naturally. Good luck everyone and take your time, there's no hurry in live and this way, it's real. | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 6/7/2006 5:32:02 AM | Generally the law looks at the man as the stronger sex but it looks with a far healthier cynicysm these days. Since it ended up with egg on it's face.
The main area that this has ocurrred is in the area of child abuse. A battered husband, with bruises to show, has fronted the courts seeking custody of the kids, on the grounds that the ex wife will kill them if left alone with them. The courts have dismissed this and charged the husband with wife bashing.
Six months later the ex wife DOES kill the kids and, at the cornoners hearing and teh wifes murder trial the husbands warnings are drredged out from the family law court records.
This is the stuff of royal committions therse days. This results in senior judges being dismissed from the bench and police commissioners bieng sacked. So the cops and courts are learning to tread carefully and assume nothing.. | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 6/14/2006 5:42:06 AM | | As my black sense of humour rises to the surface again I can't help but think that a couple is more likely to lose custody of their children for bonking one another, in front of the kids, than for bashing one another, in front of the kids. | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 7/8/2006 10:33:24 AM | My ex was both verbally and phycially abusive. I tried going to attorneys to get a divorce. I was told that unless the kids have briuses that I can prove were by her hands I don't have a leg to stand on as far as getting custody (several times as late as 2000). I finally had it a few years later when I thought the court would let the kids have a say in where they lived. They don't eventhough my oldest was 16.
We went through a GAL (court appointed attorney to determine where the kids should reside). The attorney, in the report, mentioned that my daughter mentioned being hit by her mother but the attorney dismissed it as poor judgement on the mother's part.
I had to to fight a long and expensive battle to have my kids live with me.
So, yes, people should leave when they see they are in an abusive relationship. But in my case it didn't turn bad until the kids were a little older. My ex then said that she had gotten what she wanted and it was now time to get divorced.
I,m not making excuses, just making comment of another circumstance. | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 7/9/2006 2:17:07 AM | .
But the ladies know they can get away with almost anything the police believe them and thier girlfriends will lie to back them up.
The reason this issue is never being addressed in many instances is simply because the ladies have a well organized network news paper editors have a predominate female staff
Oh, stop it! Pushing a little truth too far is ridiculous.
Years ago, I was taken to court for breaking a woman’s jaw. Well, she was shouting at me with a large butcher knife in my face while I was sleeping on the couch. What do you except?
I explained the situation to the judge, she admitted that was what happened, and that was that. Sorry, few of us accept butcher knifes waving in our face and the instant reaction is called acceptable. Sometimes, anyway.
A women tried to slap me because she was upset about something and I told her to calm down, and then I had to deposit her in a chair. She was a friend and I told her to never do that again with me, simply because I am so much faster than her and am very well trained to defend myself before thinking.
Fact is, I am very adept at self defense and any friends know to not touch me in anger.
Listen guy, I guess I don’t know much about how things happen in your country. But, here, those of us who are adult males, laugh at, and disregard, the mouthy females. That’s just how it is here. Real men do not play games with the wayward woman.
On the other hand, the woman we look for will not play games with us.
There are many, many very nice women here on POF. I’m lucky enough to know some of them. With your expressed attitude, you will not.
Interesting that, eh?
I suggest: Pay attention. Don’t insult people. Get a polite attitude. Then, those nicer ladies in your county will cast there gazes towards you. Maybe. LOL
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 7/9/2006 5:20:55 AM | But the ladies know they can get away with almost anything the police believe them and thier girlfriends will lie to back them up.
==========================
From the mouth of a cop, being inteviewed on the TV reality show COPS. (Where the cameras just chase real cops on real raids.)
Quote "I believe about half of what I see, and NOTHING of what I hear."
I don't think I can really add anything to that. | |
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allh2h
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Joined: 3/23/2006
Msg: 261 | |
| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 7/9/2006 5:26:22 AM | Has a bad temper.
Drinks.
Controls your finances.
Ok...I see your point here but lemme point some things out if they have not been already as I am not going to read all....how many pages? of this.
Bad temper...umm a lot of us have them, it is called stress, not being abusive.
Drinks....lots of women do this, it is called being a drunk, stupid or an alcohilic amongst other things....not being abusive
Control of finances....do you have any idea how many bills would not get paid if some women did not do this? It is not a matter of control....it is called keeping the power on, keeping the mortage/rent paid, and kids in food and clothes instead of it being blown. Or simply time management on the couples part as he might be busy with other things...duh!
Once you leave : Dont ever come back to her. Ever. Not for
kids....Your LIFE is in constant danger around HER. She is a bomb waiting to
explode and the countdown already started.
That is not being a responsible parent if she is abusive...as with a man, do you think she is not at some point going to turn on the kids when they get out of line...gimme a break here dude...your kids are more important then that. Sheesh, you can overpower her in a heartbeat and if you allow the kids to tell the cops they are gonna tell that Mommy did it Not Daddy...use your brain.:  | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 7/9/2006 6:06:17 AM | Abuse, of any sort, is wrong...either from a man or a woman...both need psychological counselling...the abuser and the victim of abuse...
Manx, don't worry if your chosen topic is not a happy one...we need men like you, who dares to talk about those sensitive topics..
If someone does not like the topic, they don't have to read it.
K. | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 7/9/2006 6:08:25 AM | Sparticuss is a misogynist...plain and simple. Don't waste your energy on him, because that keeps him and threads like this going on forever...ad nauseum.
The facts are: some women dislike men. And some men dislike women. Both genders have the capability to be abusive towards the other. Some people...just dislike other people, and go out of their way to express it. If people are being abusive towards you in your life, well really, then, you should get away from them before things go to hell. It doesn't matter whether they are significant others, people in the workplace, or relatives. The same rules apply to all of them. Been there, done that.
I would love to know why people who despise the opposite sex join dating websites in the first place. Forum postings certainly give great insight in who to avoid.  | |
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allh2h
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Joined: 3/23/2006
Msg: 265 | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 7/9/2006 9:53:10 AM | It's amazing that women could say what ever they want here & it's perfectly ok. But God forbid a man has a compliant about something similar.
How dare a man brings up the topics of double standards & how men get the raw deal sometimes. All of a sudden we are woman-hating misogynist pigs to bring up the topic of men’s rights
Why are women so threatened when a man speaks up & states the obvious?
Why is it wrong to educate men on how to defend ourselves when the system won’t help us?
I guess we’re not allowed to speak our minds.
It’s clearly obvious that there was never any movement for equal rights between the sexes. It was more like a hostel take over. And the femi-nazis love it this way. The pendulum radically swung to the other side & there's really nothing we could do about it.
The only thing we as men can do now is to watch our backs, and look for the loopholes in the laws so we can keep away from getting the shaft.
Now watch all the nasty rebuttals I’m going to get from saying what I just said. LOL.
As far as dealing with an abusive woman, just walk away. Don’t say anything to her. Don’t touch her in self-defense. JUST LEAVE! Run if you have to. Whatever the reason she is not worth going to jail for & ending up with the label ‘Wife beater’ or ‘Spouse abuser’ for the rest of your life. | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 7/9/2006 8:42:29 PM | Hey dude you are 100% right on what you said
2112rush I think you are right it because men were so abusive to women .
so all men must shut up and take it now !!!
bull wrong is wrong any way you look at i
hell they can write me any thing they want I dont give a dam | |
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tekrok
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Joined: 6/28/2006
Msg: 268 | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 7/9/2006 8:51:26 PM | | ok,. I didn't read this whole thread, (or any of it) but I am sure, abuse happens to both sexes. I would venture, (and assume) to say that it is a minute percentage that happens to men...and with the (very) small amount of women reporting abuse I would bet (once again) to surmise the reports from men would be of even smaller percentage... another thing (the police force) we can just 'brush under the rug' eh? | |
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tekrok
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Joined: 6/28/2006
Msg: 270 | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 7/9/2006 9:22:43 PM | well i back sparticus 100%!
when i was driven home after being released from prision.
i asked the warden that drove me why are there so many guy's in for domestic crimes.
his answer " women have all the power, they can have thier boyfriends husbands removed
simply by calling the police and saying he did this or he did that. the warden went on to
say over 75% of my inmates are in for domestic based crimes".
the good news is women are going to start gettting an automatic 6 months in jail if it's
proven they lied.
a law long over due!! | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 12/19/2006 10:16:45 PM | the post was in respone to some one who saidd that real men arent abused...and that only women or men who are wooses are abused..probably my own issues with macho ex cop husband who uses these terms...and trys to make "a man"out of our young son."sorry for the babble..but real woman (and men)realize abusers come from all walks of life, are male and female...docs, cops, hairstylist nurses etc...life is short abuse physical, mental or verbal shouldnt be tolerated....beleive me i put up with it for 20 years and still havent "come out with it"because im a "strong independant woman"..so I actually think a male who is abused suffers even more because of the preconceived notions that they have to deal with....like the person i was responding to...believe me i think mean sucks | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 2/12/2007 3:37:59 AM | | WEll ,I have to agree with alot of what you have written in here,I was with living with a girl that was abusive in many different ways and I guess I stayed for the same reasons that women stay with men ...because i cared and thought if i got her to seek help she would change...but if they don't want help they will never change so after 5 months I left...even tho i will be stuck paying for a lease on an apartment i can't live in...it was to the point where i felt my emotional and physical well being were at risk.This girl was addicted to pain killers(she would go thru a months supply in 5 days,drank like a fish and tried to kill herself every other month....women like this are very good at manipulating and playing the part of the victim and I honestly think she has a lot of mental disorders that either haven't been addressed or she doesn't want to accept them.As far as the abuse goes i could tell you all of it but then it really wouldn't change anything and I am away from it...all I can say is I dont think it matters what sex is being abused...I think all abuser's display classic warning signs,after an outburst they try to place the blame on anyone or anything but themselves...ie i'm sorry i was drunk and didnt mean it,or well you made me mad so i had to do something.they will try and isolate you from family and friends.they will lie right to your face or change thier stories as they go....a word to the wise ...if a prospective partner blames all of thier past partners for everything I would be very leary....no one person can have luck that bad ...i'll be the first to tell you that i have had some good people in my life and I screwed it up and i have made some poor choices and i have been taken advantage of so you live and learn as they say...but anyone that is in a abusive relationship do whatever you have to do to get out....as my grandma used to say leopards dont change thier spots....how wise was she.take care and good luck to all who find themselves in situations like this. | |
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