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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 8/1/2009 12:04:15 AM | Dear OP,
Thank you for this post. Very good information for a problem that is very rarely addressed. I would like to add that family members with an elderly man in the family who remarries should stay tuned in to the situation in the home. My great-grandfather remarried at 80 (he was a very spry man) to a woman who appeared to be sweet and kind to everyone, but turned out to be funneling money from his accounts into her private ones, beating him, and selling antiques out of his home. It was only because of the close watch of my grandmother and her sister that the problem was discovered. The police and lawyers were brought in, and she was not only charged with spousal abuse, but his money was also recovered in the most part. The antiques were gone, but they were nothing in comparison to what he got back.
The elderly are very much at risk for abuse and cons. Beware, it happens everywhere.
Beth | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 8/1/2009 12:15:02 AM | | I think guys have a harder time figuring out that they are being abused by the women in their lives because often at times the abuse is psychological/emotional and financial. I know this coz my own mother is emotionally abusive she did that a lot to my dad but my brothers have a hard time figuring it out because they don't know how to read the signs of emotional abuse from a woman. One of my brothers has married an emotionally abusive woman (very similar to my mom) but he can't even figure it out coz he is so used to being abused. I try to make him see but he thinks I am being bad I will let him figure it out for himself. Women emotional abusers often manipulate the men into spending money on them all the time and whatever you buy her its never enough. They also like to cry a lot to make the guy feel like he is not being a good mate. Its very destructive. | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 8/1/2009 11:40:13 AM |
Domestic violence committed by women against men is generally ignored or minimized, yet more than 200 studies have found that women initiate at least as much domestic violence (DV) against their male partners as males initiate against their female partners. Research shows that men comprise about a third of DV injuries and deaths. Women often compensate for their lack of physical strength by employing weapons and the element of surprise -- just as David Woods' wife did, and just as recently murdered former NFL star Steve McNair's girlfriend allegedly did.
http://lifestyle.msn.com/your-life/bigger-picture/article.aspx?cp-documentid=20968901
Recent research on domestic violence
The most recent large-scale study of DV was conducted by Center for Disease Control and Prevention researchers and published in the American Journal of Public Health. The study, which surveyed 11,000 men and women, found that according to both men's and women's accounts, 50 percent of the violence in their relationships was reciprocal (involving both parties). In those cases, the women were more likely to have been the first to strike. Moreover, when the violence was one-sided, both women and men said that women were the perpetrators about 70 percent of the time.
Read that one sentence a few times.
"In those cases, the women were more likely to have been the first to strike."
"In those cases, the women were more likely to have been the first to strike."
"In those cases, the women were more likely to have been the first to strike."
"In those cases, the women were more likely to have been the first to strike." | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 10/25/2009 9:55:24 PM | Yeah and studies have shown the day before some women start their period is when the most violent acts by women happen. Due to the higher then normal hormone levels! Magnesium has been proven to help, so don't withhold the chocolate!Muah ha HAA!  | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 10/29/2009 3:55:23 PM | oh this is extremely easy question i've been married to 2 of them.
Number 1
1. they complain about always being a victim and usually are pretty cute. make you want to save them.
2. look at their mother or parents. if they so much as complain one bit about how abusive their parents were...they are as well.
3. pattern of abusive ex boyfriends (so she says).
4. complains life isn't fair even when you see that the mistakes in her life are actually her fault. she will soon blame you and verbally abuse you.
easy question...and abusers never show it until they know....they got you! | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:11:01 PM | I felt the need to speak up, as I have been involved with an abusive woman.
This topic is a sore spot for me, it was an emotional train wreck. I will spare some of the details, but post the most pertinent information shortened.
Broke off a long term relationship of almost 10 years, my trust was broken in someone I trusted completely..... she felt the need to start witholding secrets. Move on.
Months later, I was given a phone number for a girl that I had dated in high school... she broke it off, and moved away, I had very little contact. ( ran into her twice in 13 years )
We ended up 'shacking up'.... the father ( also ex-husband ) of her daughter had custody 50% of the time.
The general M.O. applies here, she had been 'wronged' in the past by almost all of the men in her life. I felt as if her 'savior' and was providing for her and her daughter. This lasted a short time, but it was hell. When it was good, it was crazy awesome. When it was bad... it was terrible.
The emotional and verbal abuse has still to this day left a deep scar inside me, how could someone be so angry at the world>?  I worked 3 jobs to provide and did my absolute best, trying to balance time with them as well as work. She couldn't work because of a car accident that 'wasn't her fault'.....
Looking back, she didn't take responsibility for anything in her life, like her course was akin to a ball bouncing off of bumpers in a pinball machine. The car accident "wasn't her fault" because someone else T-boned her at a 4 way stop.... I call B.S.
I am sure that everyone that is a defensive driver will make sure that people pulling up to a 4 way stop will actually STOP before they proceed.
What started off great turned nasty within 2 months.... then the abuse started. At first it wasn't that terribly bad... she would make negative comments about her friends, then she started to become condescending towards me.
I wasn't doing enough of this / that ( BTW I also shared in the housework, maintained two vehicles, paid for the roof overhead and paid all the bills ) save for her cell phone and her car insurance. Meanwhile, she was getting disability PLUS child support from her ex. Her 'free' spending money.
I don't ask for much... really. I am a simple guy that is easy going. I expect a partner that is loving and compassionate. End of requirements.
One morning, I failed to 'shut the alarm clock off quick enough' at 5:50 am... then was screamed at whilst trying to shove some cereal down before having to get out the door and commute to work. I asked her calmly if she wanted me to miss work that day, in order for her to continue to scream at me for something that was a non-issue.
I did some soul searching, and decided to cool it... that it was 'viable'... a few weeks later, all of my stuff was being hurled out onto the lawn in a fit of rage, about not changing my 'address' on my D.L. , as well as 'issues' with me having her use 'MY' bank card, etc.
3 days later, I was 'moving back in.... with her pleas...
She was very cunning in her ways of having me believe it was 'me' that had an issue... to the point where I was convinced that maybe I had a 'problem'. A close friend confided her observations / thoughts.... but I dismissed those, thinking that she was mistaken.
It was toxic to the point where I had trouble sleeping, trouble being anywhere but with her and I had better friggan call if I was 5 minutes late. Stress was pushing me to the breaking point. Working a full time job + 2 part time jobs + not sleeping... was not good.
It finally got to the point where I had had enough, where I had to get out at any cost.
I was at a friend's house, huge argument over nothing, I was getting verbally assaulted.... ended up walking out on everything. I couldn't get a word in edgewise.... there was no 'talking' for me, simply listening, shaking my head.
I ran for 20 minutes flat out, and was shaking... I did about 10 kms over rough terrain in a bit over an hour and a half. Frostbite weather... no hat, no gloves, no boots. Cross country. ( railroad tracks )
What hurt the most was breaking the heart of that little girl that adored me. The pain caused me to shut out everyone and everything for a while. I took up alcohol for a few months, tried to drown my sorrows. There was physical pain, it felt like someone had stabbed me with a knife, tore out my guts.
I wouldn't take any calls... had a friend lie about my whereabouts. I spent over $2G in liquor.... before coming to my senses and deciding to not become the victim. I have moved on, but that experience will NEVER be out of my head.
To all the people out there that think it could NEVER HAPPEN TO YOU, YOU ARE DEAD WRONG.
I will never have any contact with her, her friends, her daughter or anyone in her circle.
This is my story.
If this sounds like you, whether you are a man or a woman... GET OUT, as FAST as you can, before verbal and emotional abuse escalates. Leave everything if you have to, your LIFE and SANITY is worth more to you than ANY material posessions.
These people eventually get their own in the end, it is unfortunate, but some people are manic depressive and bi-polar.
Don't ignore the signs. Get help from someone you can trust, and GET THE HELL OUT. | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 11/4/2009 8:33:49 PM | | I am inclined to believe that OP is an abuser projecting his violence onto someone else in the form of blame, and that he has serious gender issues and could be a threat to any woman. | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 11/5/2009 1:33:00 AM | The OP:
Other Signs : Slaps. Punches. Kicks. Threats. Verbal bashing.
Emotional bashing. Pretends to be your friend, yet hurts you.
Pretends to be doing all these things for your own good.
The OP is actually right.
It wasn't until I met a psychotic abusive woman one time that I found out that these creatures do exist. They can be extremely physically violent. Of course as Men we can't respond, so the situation becomes untenable to continue. They apologize and their violence goes away for a while, but it nearly always returns. We are talking slaps, punches, kicks, hitting, threats, etc. I think it may be tied to childhood expressive conditioning as well as quite possibly heavy psychotropic drug use, ecstasy, some LSD, which has altered their brain chemistry and neurology to prohibit constructive social behavior.
I told her that I believed violence was totally unacceptable, and she would amend her behavior, but it was always there. It would periodically, during one of our seven break ups, resurface again and again. I finally just had enough of it. At a certain point you just have to accept you won't change them, that you can't help them.
These women are caught in the vacuum of gender expectations crossover and become extremely frustrated. The physical violence part still remains a mystery to me. I just don't understand why a woman would become physically violent, it seems so strange yet it does happen. I now know this to be the case.
I basically told her I could never marry her because I didn't want my kids to inherit her propensity for violence. I didn't want her hitting our kids. Violence is unacceptable.
The sign to watch out for is disproportionate use of violence. An overly hard slap for a minor infringement, things like that should be signs that something is wrong. That this person's perception is way off calibration.
There is a chill, and a feeling of something scary when you realize they react with an amplification that they themselves may not fully understand. | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 11/5/2009 2:25:31 AM | I am inclined to believe that OP is an abuser projecting his violence onto someone else in the form of blame, and that he has serious gender issues and could be a threat to any woman.
Yes unfortunately... reading the posting history I have to agree.
That being said... I actually was seeing a guy who had been the victim of female physical abuse in the form of marriage.
One thing I noticed about him... was how he had this underlying sneakiness about him
Was quite the enigma and very interesting.
By all accounts was a really nice guy upfront... and yet he actually wasnt.
Im not throwing speculation on anyone else thats been a victim of domestic abuse...
Just saying my interaction with this particular guy...
... Made me wonder to myself... what came first...
... was it she that caused him to be that way...?
... or was it he... simply because of the person he was... that triggered the violence in another individual that way inclined?
Either way... the resulting personality... was not someone I particularly liked.
I saw some other types of behavior... I wouldnt consider "normal" either... and I see absolutely nothing that connects/connected them... to him being the victim of physical abuse.
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 11/5/2009 4:17:26 AM | OP good post. I got stabbed 4 times in the chest and throat by my ex wife with a knife. She was 6ft tall and looked liked Christie Brinkley but was completely insane. These people are very hard to get out of your life. I had not heard from her in 20 years. She threatened to kill me again. She is now in jail in AZ doing 1 year for threatening me.
Get a restaining order and keep it current if you have been assaulted Guys | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 11/5/2009 4:36:42 AM | Only weak men get abused. Sorry you have to be some kind of a puvvy to let a woman to treat you that way. (stuff written in first post)
Forget about all that crap, the minute she treats me disrespectfully.... my 13" boot up her ass... right that second..pfft!
It's a character issue. Go ask around and see how many "real" alpha males getting abused by their female partners.....I'll be waiting....  | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:32:08 AM | Lets not confuse an abusive woman who is attempting to abuse, with her actually being successful in that abuse.
........my 13" boot up her ass... right that second..pfft!
It's a character issue. Go ask around and see how many "real" alpha males getting abused by their female partners.....I'll be waiting....
It's a cultural issue. European Celtic Brehon Law offers extensive protection of women in society. Middle Eastern Shahira Law or Mosaic Law on the other hand has more of what you are talking about. This is not to cast judgement on either culture, just to point out the factors involved. | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:43:03 AM | Celtic Brehon Law offers extensive protection of women in society.
That's correct. It offers protection doesn't mean "she can abuse you" or "you have to sit and take it like a puvvy whipped idiot"
Again It's a character issue., nothing else. Doesn't matter how "fuked up" she is, she wouldn't even be able dream to pull that kind of crap to a "real man" .... That's why those abusive women always find weak men... always...!
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 11/7/2009 11:09:35 AM | "Only weak men get abused...maybe the OP is transferring his gender based anger by posting this..." or my personal favourite "... or was it he... simply because of the person he was... that triggered the violence in another individual that way inclined?"
This is just a taste of what we men are up against when it's us who's getting abused. You people need to understand that blaming and shaming the victim is as bad as being the abuser...I don't consider myself a weak man, I've fought in the street to protect women, I raise my boy to be a gentleman and got caught in a marriage with someone who took advantage of her position as a woman married to a gentleman. That's not my fault, I didn't choose it nor did I cause it, her actions are hers.
Disgusting. | |
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