| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 9/7/2007 11:30:31 PM | your forgetting the cases where the mom dosentwant the dad in their kids life
my ex was addicted to crack and meth i didnt want that anywhere near my kid so i left and changed my phone number
he knows where my family is but he hasnt bothered in three years to make contact so i assume hes either high or dead and good riddance my lesson learned and i have a beautiful little boy
if i want money ill work for it i dont need his | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 9/8/2007 10:45:33 PM | | What a crock of chit. There are just as many dead beat moms out there as there are dead beat dads. Why is it you women only focus on the dads?? Prob because its tabo to talk about anything negative about the sisterhood. Either that or you are all in denial. Christ | |
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 254 | |
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 9/9/2007 8:28:53 AM | | I haven't read the entire thread yet, but HUH? This is not solely the MEN'S fault...there are plenty of mom's out there who have nothing to do with their kids. Let's also figure in the whole support factor...it's not too difficult to figure out that women seem to get away with not paying child support easier than men. Men are put on the Most Wanted List and women can cry "lack of cash" and it's okay. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, as I know women who pay child support, but it's definitely not as important to the courts for some reason. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 9/9/2007 6:27:42 PM | | What about the Mom's who are regularly getting "good" child support payments - on time - and milk the dad for anything she can get... apair of shoes, the child's freinds birthday presents, swimming lessons, etc. I want my kids to have these things and so does she, but I get offers from her to pay, but I never see any cash. What do I do, stop giving them things that they need or should have? NO. They will one day figure out what their Mom is really like. If I say no to a pair of shoes, they dont get any. Meanwhile their Mom is out spending money on herself - massages, hair extensions, parties, bar. I just have to take it, nothing I can think of doing. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 9/9/2007 7:23:20 PM | | The laws here have no requirements of how the money given to the custodial parent is spent. As well they have nothing to do with visitation. I've had continuing issues with my ex, i have had to pay extra for years, i basically now accept this as a matter of taking care my child when my ex refuses to spend the money on the right things. I think it comes to a matter of the system only being worried about someone paying and thats it, not how the money is spent to the impact on the child's life. I guess its the frustration from the system that is the issue more then anything else. | |
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nvu
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Joined: 8/31/2007
Msg: 258 | |
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 10/8/2007 5:39:13 AM | | there is a differince if anyone leaves a child in harms way! yes what about mothers that wont let the fathers see the children when my ex left with our two children and moved out of ontario the lawer said i had to charge her with kiddnapping we were made at each other just breaking up and all but i would never have her charged with that and the lawer said if i dont than theres nothing at all i can do. some people would love to use laws like this to get there ex partner in trouble to get back at them for the break up and use the kids as a weapon. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 10/8/2007 7:18:42 AM | Absolutely!BOTH men and women should be held accountable for the child support payments where the situation is applicable.
Bob Dylan once sang;"Oh times they are a changin'!" | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 10/8/2007 8:56:46 AM | As other posters have said, let's call it Deadbeat Parent Epidemic. Having gone through the system, I think the biggest problem is that the system is too easy to " Milk ".
The costs of Court are so high, and by the time a Parent wins, what benefit is it to the children if money can't be collected? A Government agency does the collecting, and they are so backlogged it is silly. The laws themselves can be so sticky that someone with the highest intergrity can easily have suspicion cast on them, just by missing the tinninest rule. The only people winning are the Lawyers! I just went through the system and it took over a year to get the case completed, and I still am not going to see any money for awhile. The Judge can delay verdicts, then cost submissions, which gives the other party time to hide money, transfer it to a family member's account. The winner then has to pay more money to find where the losing party hid it. The biggest problem in the system is that no one cares about what really goes on, and if the Policitans cared they would have done something about it. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 10/9/2007 11:21:42 AM | I agree men and women should be treated equally when it comes to paying child support and collecting it!
if the Policitans cared they would have done something about it.
What would you like to see different? | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 10/9/2007 12:26:17 PM | Squishy;
The one thing that we were working toward years ago was the presumption / starting point in court being either shared parenting or joint custody. The report "in the best interest of the children - custody and access" went to the minister who promptly sent it back to committee (buried it) several years ago. Most of the arguments were from women's groups and suprisingly from federal ministries stating this was a very bad idea.
With shared parenting there would very little child support going back and forth since both parents would be equally involved in their children's lives. The only child support in most of these cases that would be paid is the difference between what the payor earns and what the recipient earns sicne the 40% rule would take effect. Basically, it is a power game since with the present legislation it is sole custody and then prove why you should have joint (things are slowly changing though where it is more and more joint custody with prove why it should be sole). But with 65% of women still receiving sole custody, one gets to be the parent while the other is essentially reduced to being a wallet. But those that have the control right now don't want to give it up.
The minister of justice bowed to special interest groups so nothing changed. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 10/9/2007 12:50:17 PM | thats great i think men should be named and shamed, but to be fair would they even care?????
my ex left last year and has not seen his kids in over a year, he gave up work so as not to pay maintenance.
he left for a women with 5 kids who he is now playing happy families with, but he is the looser, i have told the kids everything and they no i will always be there for them, we are all closer so who needs a dead beat dad hanging around and causing upset. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 10/9/2007 3:37:57 PM | I didn't look through all 11 pages on here, but there is a website that shows pictures of deadbeat parents and asks for help in finding their whereabouts. I think all the website needs is a picture of the deadbeat parent and your permission to put him/her up. The website is
http://www.goodparentspay.com | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 10/9/2007 6:38:04 PM | 50/50 is difficult unless you live close together.
In Canada, "women" mainly get joint custody with them having "primary care and control". It is very difficult to prove that one parent should be "above" another.
In my case, I know my STBXH would NOT want the kids any more than every other weekend.... you can't exactly enforce them to parent either. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 8/4/2009 6:49:30 PM | | I agree. I am in this very situation. My son is 3, & I have recieved my support only once in those 3 years. Then only because he had to pay to get out of jail. It gets so frustrating trying to make ends meet while the absent parent has not a care in the world. They should be held accountable! | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 8/4/2009 6:57:07 PM | | In my state N.C. the father can be made to pay & not get visitations. Depends on the case. My sons father isnt allowed around our son because of drugs & violence. He still has to pay. Unless I take him to court & have his parental rights severed. He doesnt pay it because he is a dead beat but thats another story. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 8/4/2009 7:00:52 PM | | I realize legally it doesn't make a difference, but I have more sympathy for some situations more than others. For example, I have the most sympathy for people who were married, both parents wanted the children equally, but then got divorced and the non-custodial parent fails to pay, or pays infrequently. | |
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