|
|
|
|
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/12/2006 10:36:45 PM | | I think it is sad how things work out not only for the couple but for the kids aswell how come some adults can not get along just, for their children/babys and yes this is a very SERIOUS problem NOTHING to joke about! | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/13/2006 1:41:13 AM | | Sadly, what you do about a deadbeat dad is nothing. You take him to court for support you'll never get, you try to make them care about a child they never decided to have...and in the end you end up doing it alone. Sorry...true. Look back on the relationship for a sec...if you couldn't make them care THEN...what makes you think you can make them care NOW? They don't, and they won't. Hopeless cause, and when they get older and figure out what exactly is important in life (not chicks and cars and big fancy toys and a social life and their fancy job that makes them a ton of quick cash that they spend at the bars), they'll know that they missed out. Let them do their childish thing and know that you ARE the world...the light...the life of a beautiful person that YOU conceived out of emotion and trust...and never let them feel any different. You cannot change some things...but you CAN make a difference.... | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/13/2006 4:23:33 AM | i dojnt see the point in that personally i pay enough taxes to hold idiots in jail and they r not worth i know in canada it is $137 a day for an inmate not in fed jail personally im not willing to pay that for my kids dad hes not worth a penny to me.. i would rather keep my tax dollers and buy my daughter something new..
second a mom can abandon her child and do it legally if she chooses not to keep the baby so long as it is dropped off with cas, a hospital will take the baby to turn over, family, the father it is not illgeal to walk out on them now if you levae it in an appartment or house where no one will know the baby is there doesnt matter if your mom or dad you will be charged with child indangerment, if not a murder if the child is not found, same goes with leaving them in the streets and so on there is plenty of ways dead beat parents can do so legally... | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/13/2006 6:04:23 AM | | If u start giving criminal charges out to dead beat fathers, then the decision of whether the baby is kept or not should become a matter for both parents. At the moment if mum to be wants the baby it stays. If the mother wants to keep the baby and the father doesnt or vise versa then the other parent who doesnt should be void of responsibility because if they had the choice they would of had an abortion. So the criminal charges in my opinion would need to be implimented along with other laws such as the one i just described. | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/13/2006 6:23:14 AM | | bozza... when a father does not want to take responsibility for his child (which sickens me to think of) he can go to court and relinquish his rights. this has nothing to do with abortion. a man is just as guilty of bringing a child into this world as a woman is, despite who carries the child to term. it's called RESPONSIBILITY. if men don't want to be fathers... they can stop carelessy shootin' off their sperm in women who can and will get pregnant. don't get me started! | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/13/2006 11:24:50 AM | | I am sickened by what fathers get away with. The courts need to be a lot more strict when it comes to parents who dont even take advantage of the visitation the fight so hard to get. Not to mention failing to pay their child support..THE ONLY ONES WHO SUFFER ARE THE CHILDREN!! And the didnt ask to be here. Its sad. My daughter has been through a lot and missed a lot because as a single mother i have to work more hrs. for less money, and i'm all she's got. The courts have ordered her father to pay child support, but everytime the district attny. sends the paperwork to his employer to start garnishing, he quits his job...So i've learned not top get my hopes up.. | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/13/2006 11:25:01 AM | | I am sickened by what fathers get away with. The courts need to be a lot more strict when it comes to parents who dont even take advantage of the visitation the fight so hard to get. Not to mention failing to pay their child support..THE ONLY ONES WHO SUFFER ARE THE CHILDREN!! And the didnt ask to be here. Its sad. My daughter has been through a lot and missed a lot because as a single mother i have to work more hrs. for less money, and i'm all she's got. The courts have ordered her father to pay child support, but everytime the district attny. sends the paperwork to his employer to start garnishing, he quits his job...So i've learned not top get my hopes up.. | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/13/2006 11:49:35 AM | | Get with the times Honey! Guys that abandon their kids are being punished for non payment of support and being put in jail if they get too far behind. Their wages can be taken and drivers licenses can be suspended and assests forfeited! But women, in greater numbers than ever before, are pulling the same crap. The custodial parent as to take action and follow up to make sure the Deadbeat Parent is held accountable, instead of whining on a DATING SITE! | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/13/2006 12:18:49 PM | hi i am a single dad that has fullcustody of my son how a bout dead beat moms that make promeses that never happon it not all ways the dad i know frist hand and i love my son and we make it on are own just fine if we got help or suprot from his mom that would be nice for him and its not mony as much as love showen to him well that all i have to say | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/13/2006 1:02:27 PM | completely i agree we cant put deadbeat dads and moms on the same totem pole...its the men more often than not but the shitty moms are just as bad too.
I just had a cat fight with my ex mom in law last night regarding the babysitting expenses...how now i have to provide all the lunches....the pull ups...and have to pay the respite care aid and for any outting they go on.( she started this week )
I spazzed out..WTF do i have to bust my ass and her stupid assed son lives at home rent free...makes his mom watch the kids while he works...pays his piddly support and ANY EXTRA EXPENSES he subtracts from the support. They simply DO NOT GET IT child support is food shelter clothing ect.
Am i wrong in asking for his help with this??? to help pay for the respite aid...to buy the kids things...buy a package of fuken diapers!!! i wanna wring his scrawny neck at my frustration.
He lives at home so i cannot qualify for daycare subsidy for his mom ( cant live in same home) but im so completly sick and tired of his freeloading...to get $2 from him is like pulling a tooth from an alligator...and then they bite your hand off in thanks... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...........
ahhhh i feel better now...now the SOB thinks we should go to a mediator at last....ohh ohh lemme guess!!!!!!! i pay right????????  | |
|
| |
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/13/2006 1:44:06 PM | | Iwas 21 when I had my son with a man 9yrs older than myself who sat my me as I called the baby doc to sat we've been trying but nothing.lol I'm pregnant!!!To make this short,he accused me of cheating on him,then proceeded to say he wasn't ready for a second family(he had 2 other children from past)I left,when I did the state stepped in and said I couldn't afford him and took him.I went to jail,for something I said,upon release I ended working two jobs before they returned my baby for two months,not a penny from the man,but threatned me he'd take him if i worked as an adult entertainer.He sent a letter giving up all rights.I'am not bitter it was mutual and still consider him a friend he gave me everything I ever wanted (my baby)My son is now 16 he graduated with top honors and never had a sad in his life after leaving foster care.We are now on are way to meet his biological father who decided he would like to meet him for the very first time.I'am happily married for 10 years to the man my son calls DAD.THE DAD HE DIDN"T HAVE TO BE!!!!!!!!!The good thing about this deal was no fighting stable enviroment for my child ,no curfews,and I gave my husband a second chance at father hood as his was taken by his ex.If I can do it any one can. | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/13/2006 4:06:26 PM | I think maybe i shoudl have explained my reasoning for my thoughts about criminal charges for abdonment. Just to clarify i am talking about parents who have no contact and who do not pay any childsupport.
The point was not so that these people spend there lives in jail, a token jail sentence would be good enough, the point is that they would carry arround a criminal record. No this would probably not change there attitiudes or turn them into good people, becuase they never will and as so many have pointed out it would not help in retrieving child support payments, what it would do is make finding a job harder, gaining loans and credit harder, and all arround have there lives be as hard as they make it for the ones left behind.
Now some of you may say this is bitter and whinning, but i think it is just and correct. Why should we allow an entire population of people bring a whole set of unnecessary problems (financially and emotionally-how do you explain to a child that their own parent doesn't love them) to our children with no concequences. | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/13/2006 4:19:39 PM | and what do u think they should do w/deadbeat moms?.. i do believe they already have something like that here in edmonton.. but its something new that their trying out along w/all the other restrictions they already have in place..
and i thought hunger & homelessness was the largest crisis we have?.. oh & going 2 war as well?.. | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/13/2006 4:35:06 PM | | I think the real question should be, "what do we do about the divorce happy, mom eppidemic?" Eight out of ten divorces are filed for by women; that's eighty percent for first time marriages, and California is a seventy precent, divorce rate, state and climbing! I'd say the dead beat dad eppidemic is a mere symptom of the "real" problem. By the way; if you see my x wife, tell her I'd like the fourteen grand she owes me in back support... | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/13/2006 6:01:55 PM | Well looking for love to answer your questions i think the same should be done to deadbeat moms. If you have read the entire thread you would know that one already.
As for hunger and homlessness it is an issue and no is saying it wasn't valid it's just not the issue we are discussing.
As far as the war goes we are not going to war we have been involved in many wars continually over many many years and again is a whole other topic.
If you want to discuss these ones by all means start your own thread. | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/13/2006 7:07:49 PM | | "im sicken"..............of seeing women trash their babys/kids father i mean YOU made the choice to HAVE those babys so YOU should suck it up and deal with what comes along, no matter how hard it gets things have there OWN little way of working out. | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/13/2006 8:55:11 PM | Dead -Beat Dad Epidemic???? Are U shyteing me!!!!!!!!!!!.
Stats in the USA clearly show that if we are talking about not working or not paying child support then precentage wise women are the BIGGER dead-beats.
For the record I never heard of all this dead beat dad stuff until I joined POF. Seems this site is full of man hating/bashing women that have made bad decisions in their life and am looking to load the blame somewhere else..
I personally know several hundred fathers(including ones with children under 21).
On my daughter's life I know personally of not one that owes child support. Of course I don't know one that does not have a job, or a car, or does drugs. I also think I can count on ONE hand that rent a house instead of buying/owning one.
This might all be sumed up with the old saying: Birds of a feather
Dig through the profiles and the postings in the forums I come to the conclusion the over whelming man/daddy bashers here are plain and simple making bad choices, having unprotected sex (or sex at all) then running to the forums to blame the man and watch a parade of other women with bad judgements bash away.
Look at all the forums where women are b!tchein about their loser/dead beat and WA-LA..........short term relationship with the guy and more times then not have a child/ren already. Stupid is as stupid does.
NOW here in the USA so many women have dumped newborn children in bathrooms, dumpsters, parks, firestations etc. that a women in the USA can go to a hospital have a baby and leave and WILL not be prosecuted.
It is statistical facts that the custody system in the USA is geared in favor of the women, but guess what.
Women are a higher precentage not paying court ordered support, or have a job for that matter.
Latest stats are from a US government in house memo of October 2002.
http://www.census.gov/Press-Release/www/2002/cb02-137.html
Linked site needing adobe reader........
http://www.census.gov/prod/2002pubs/p60-217.pdf
Custodial parents/ court ordered
Mothers Receiving payments ............74.6%....................Dads 64.9%
Mothers Receiving Full Payment........45.9% ....................Dads 37.7%
Mothers Employed.....................................82%......................Dads 91.3%
Mothers full time/ year around(wrking).....49.8%....................Dads 75.4%
So tell me who's the dead beats???????????
Don't even get me started. These deadbeat moms want to be a sperm receptacle, refuse to abstain from sex, and if so choice a loser. They then refuse all birth control. Women got the pill, patch, needle, female condoms, non-intercourse sponge, etc etc etc. Then blame the men, and are NOT even wo-MAN enough to pony up the the responsibilty of a parent.
Direct all hate mail to my email as not to look foolish in the forums.
A Single Full custody (non-payment receiving), hard working, home owning, drug free DAD, looking for non-man bashing woman with sound mind and good judgement.
BDJ | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/14/2006 9:45:32 AM | | i agree that there are a lot of dead beat dads (and mums) but i have found 2 and neither want anything to do with there kids iam starting to think it might be me! why should they get away with not doing anything for there kids my ex husband is a drug addict and only cares about himself it is such a shame he is the one who is missing out i just hope my kids are not affected to much by what has gone on in the past and that they know i love them | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/14/2006 10:14:47 AM | I'm sorry but you all want to blame the "other's" for the failures in your life.
Although I do agree that both parents should support the child(ren) financially and emotionally until such a time as they are adults.. sadly in most cases that isn't happening.
Keep in mind... "you can't a silk purse out of a sow's ear."
I dunno.. I don't see this whole "dead-beat parent" issue as an epidemic. It seems to me that there are a lot of bitter people on the internet. Who should really assess their lives and focus on the positive.
Somehow I feel like I'm beating my head against a brick wall.... | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/14/2006 12:45:04 PM | | I have a 5yo daughter and when her father and I split up three years ago, he just dropped out of her life. I never thought he would as he did alot for her and loved her so much when we were together but he did leave her and I tried and tried to get him to see her but hes pretty much made it clear he doesnt want anything to do with her. Child support has been ordered and he paid it whenever he felt like it and when we went to court in Dec. the judge told him he had better not even miss one payment or he would go to jail. We were supposed to go to court July 6 and I received a letter from him on July 3 that he had moved 2000 miles away but what really got to me was he didnt mention my daughter even one time!!! When I went to court I found out that his lawyer withdrew from the case, he hadnt paid my attorneys fees (court ordered last time) and a warrant for not paying his support. I wouldnt know why he didnt want to come to court and want me to think he lives that far away. I know he is still here but I had a choice to make, I could be angry and bitter and do whatever it takes to hunt him down and have him arrested OR I can just not worry about it and focus on my life and my daughters. I chose the latter. I am the one thats here for her and I get all the joys of being in her life and all the firsts thats coming my way (she starts kindergarten this year, yeah!!!). She is so excited about it too. Someday he will be found and he will have to answer for running out on her (and I beleive in "what comes around goes around") but it will not be the focus of my life and I am not going to worry about it any longer, I have better things to do. | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/14/2006 6:48:39 PM | i belong to several single parents' support groups. In the majority of the cases, the NCP owes trillions of dollars in arrearages and NEVER gets caught. did you know that (at least in the state of CA) there is a "no harrassment" policy regarding the dept. of child support services collecting from the deadbeat parent...AMAZING!!!! you have no idea how many horror stories I have heard about how caseworkers have NO problem verbally abusing the desperate and (seemingly) nagging custodial parent.
every once in awhile, a deadbeat does go to prison, but this is the anomoly, hardly EVER happens, and they are out in no time (and their "uncollectible" arrearages accrue even further). the logic of the court is, "if the deadbeat is sitting in jail, what financial good does it do mom???" most men are too busy running to even be tracked down.
if your ncp is at all receptive to embarrassment, there are two sites that can help you. the first, www.wantedposters.com posts your deadbeats picture, along with the amount of arrearages he owes (you will need an official affadavit/statement from the state office), last known place of employment, and a groovy "blurb" composed by you. My ex was MORTIFIED as he paraded around dallas as the "president" of a charity organization, while meanwhile, when you "googled" his name, the deadbeat dad thing was at the top of his (otherwise) impressive list of accomplishments . empathetic sucker that I am, I requested that the web-site take it down when he started paying, but i should have kept it up, as it can be posted for as long as the deadbeat parent has arrearages...wantedposters just asks for a small donation, and the purpose of the web-site is to get "tips" on the deadbeat's employment, which then gets reported to the caseworker. not a bad gig, eh?
the second site is deadbeatlocaters.com. this site runs along the same lines, yet you pay $5 quarterly to "rent space" from the web-site. you can then post EVERYTHING about the deadbeat right then and there, as the web-site holds YOU legally responsible for any libelous inaccuracies. the better part about this site is that there is a link called 'how to complain', beginning with how to complain to/about your caseworker, and ending with how to write a letter to the president. I have also heard that letters to the president can garner serious action, BUT...you have to clearly be able prove income on the other parent (one woman caught her ex selling things on e-bay, it went federal, and he got put in the slammer). the squeaky wheel MAY get the grease, but it will feel like a full-time job.
felony non-support...makes you wonder how you ever hooked up with such a morally bereft charcter, huh??? | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/14/2006 10:39:10 PM | [Direct all hate mail to my email as not to look foolish in the forums.]
Not a chance.
Who's gonna look foolish in the forums? Wow, pull your head out of your butt buddy. I'm sorry, that's all I'm going to say because it would be over your head & beneath me.  | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/15/2006 8:14:58 PM | Hey Treeman,
Ok fine i admit i misworded the title of the forum it should have state deadbeat parents, however i do have a question for you, did you read the forum or did you just decide to jump all over the title?
Also one of the points was there is laws in place for abandonment by female parents but not for male parents.
What is your oppinion on that?
| |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/16/2006 9:18:11 AM | Hey D.A.N.P.,
Before I post I do a good bit of reading.
Read all you family related post, and you write like you got a good head on your shoulders . All that said,(and of your writings ) if you are in a bad section of town, or associate with losers(No job, house,car, not seeing their kids, but seeing the "man") Change it all NOW.
Okay, there is no short answer with me. Lord knows my inbox gets flooded with forum praise, so the few that get P.O.ed scroll down...lol
OR!?!?!?!?! LET me FIRST OFF piss them all off.
If you are a dead beat parent, and not taking care of your kids the best you can to your ability then plain and simple....YOU ARE A PEICE OF CRAP......It makes no difference what's between your legs, a hole or a pole. However, since it is natural in the animal world for the mom (bird,cow,dog,cat, etc etc ) to fight to the death for her offspring, I weight a little heavier against the mom for abandonment, and heavier against dad for no money sent.(man is suppose to be the gather/hunter/provider). So in our PC bullshyte society I still weight in 75/25 percent on tradional values.
********Not sure the laws there across the border.********
Here in the great USA you can breed like it is going out of style,with anyone,anyhow,anywhere, THEN use,abuse, and confuse your offspring and the government will make the tax payer fit the bill.Then it is a very very rare chance they will ever be held CRIMINAL responsible The Federal courts have ruled that an under aged child can have an abortion and not have to inform her parents. But whoa ,whoa, whoa don't let me not send her to school and they want to lock me up.
The morals in our society towards children have gotten so sickening in the last couple of decades. Do a goggle search....try...."child chained to bed"..."parent sets child on fire",............This one will get the computer processor smoking...."Drug addict (or abusive) mom with child/ren "'.
He11 yea, you bring a child into this world it's your job to support. Look I'm humane , Let my tax dollar help the parents with children trying their best, but need help/money/education. Government check means a job..period. Prison sure.... it would be too easy to let them opt out to be sterilized . Plus then the diseases this type of person is spreading that will come full circle under tax dollars spent on health care. Chrips, if you are too lazy to get a free condom from the health or probation department, then you sure aint using them so you pee-pee don't sting in the morning...lol
Sobering fact. We the hard working tax payer are paying 10 fold to raise (not brought up, but dragged up through the system) children that dead-beats are bringing into this world.
Facts. Over 2 million kids are in the State ran Foster system.
Maryland has over 13,000 kids in the foster "system". The department of Social Service has a budget...........................
*****WARNING: **** COVER YOUR KEYBOARD AND MONITOR as not to puke on them.....
Over 2 Billion dollars... Yes $2,000,000.00 yearly. Her is a thought. If you had 2 billion dollars in 1 dollar bills, when you were born, never slept, and lived to be a 100,,,,,,,,,,You'd never be able to count it.
Now here is the kicker...over 1/2..( 1 billion) is Federal money... So all you fish on the USA side of the pond .....Well, those are just stats for one city.
So the truth is when you see a parent at the bar, 200 dollar shoes, hanging on the corner for the afternoon, sporting new 20 inch rims on the SUV,latest fashion statement.....and gets government help.
Whether it be check, food stamps, housing, medical, utilities, or their mother/brother/sister/aunt/neighbor/ etc etc etc collect a check directly related to the dead beat situation (babysitting,transportation etc)...
and not taking care of their kids the best they can.....yes it's criminal and should be dealt with.
Plus how many "Mistakes" should we as a society pay for??? Talking the sicken stats of women 21 and under with 2,3,4,5, and some times MORE children with different babies Daddies???? He11 just read through the forums here with the very very very small percentage of people in the world.
Yes you are correct dead beat parents are become an epidemic , and it is gonna bite us in the aS@ in another generation or so. Look at the stats on teenagers RIGHT NOW. Crime,education, birth rate, shootings, jobless, and such. Chance are they are just gonna add a link to the problem chain not break it.
In closing.................Step up to the plate and raise your child , or step up and grab a plate......IN THE PRISON CHOW HALL. that is.
If I gotta PAY, they shouldn't PLAY.
WOWb BDJ
FYI: In 1992 I took a single mom of 21 with two babies off her mom's couch and welfare system. | |
|
|
| Page 2 of 11
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 |
|
Home
login 
