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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/23/2006 9:15:13 PM | lula777
He may not be commiting an offense under the Criminal Act of Canada, and all the laws we have at present.
Is he/she commiting an offense? ethically yes, and SpiderHam77, when the ethics are there, the laws soon follow the demand.
Okay first off I need to agree with Broken Wings here... the term Dead Beat Dad needs to be thrown into the garbage. And we need to start calling these people what they are. Dead Beat Parents....
I am a Single Father myself. And I take offence to the idea that only Dad's are capable of such things. Because I have an Ex, mother of my child, who does nothing for him at all. Has not even been physically in the presence of her child for over 2 years.
Now thats off my mind. I to live in Canada. And do understand the idea of ethics. However the same ethics should apply to then to mothers who become pregnant. And knowing dad is not going to be in the picture choose to bring the child into the world...
Using the same logic, those women are just as liable for the situation their child now encounters for failing to ensure they're childs needs would not be met from the a reliable other parent.
And if you want to talk about unjust laws in Canada... and the US for that matter. Lets talk about CS laws to begin with. They make no sense. CS is based off the potential income of the NCP... and not actual income.
Now in someways this makes sense... prevents a person who is say trained as a Doctor all of the sudden becoming a Gas Jockey. However it does not protect the person who say had a great paying job, and then the plant he worked at got shut down. and he got laid off...
And while the NCP can apply to the courts for a reduction in CS payments while affected by this problem. During the application process, which can take up to 3-4 months before it is even heard, they are still liable to make the CS payments that were deemed ordered. And the once heard, the ruling is not retroactive to the time of the application.
Another underlying problem with the system in genral, and this is slowly changing, is the fact Joint Custody is not being considered as a way of getting rid of CS altogether. If you each have the child half the time... then why does CS need to be paid.
So before you start spouting off about ethics, and changes needed to laws to enforce such ethics, you may need to look your fellow women in the eye, and realize that a change of law has to effect everyone equally. Not just 1 sector of society.
If what you call dead beat dads should be locked up. Then so should Dead Beat Moms. But the problem with that is when you hear about a Mom who can't affoard CS payments.. or can't spare the time to see her children do to work... We don't view them as bad people. We view them as people who are down on their luck, and need a break.
Yet when we look at a guy doing it... the first assumption is that he is a jerk... And thats it... No inquiry is made as to why he is not making payments.. no inquiry as to why he is no seeing his children. Just simply a tiff of the nose.. and they immediatly become a lower class person.
So remember laws have to effect all people equally. And if we were to start locking up women on a regular basis for the same thing. I can garantee there would be an out cry from society that we should not be locking up women... but trying to assist them in getting their life together. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/24/2006 3:53:50 AM | my husband was a army soldier.. he cheated on me the WHOLE time we were married, they wanted to court martial him for it but i covered for him and then forgave him knowing that i couldnt be with him where he was stationed so he must be painfully lonelly out there alone.. then he knocked up his ex while he was on leave TO SEE ME!!! he spent like .. a few hours a day with me then the rest with her as if i didn't know what was going on.. im not that stupid.. then when i found out she was prego for the second time with HIS baby i filed for divorce so to get back at me.. he hooked up with my now ex best friend. they reside in another city, hes claiming our babies arent his and hes talking horrible things about me that i don't deserve. he doesnt have a job after 3 months of being discharged from the military and he's not paying child support.. when cps found this out? they drug us into court to take parenting classes, family counseling and individual counseling.. so much stuff that i can't do the things i planned with my kids like camping, tball, swimming lessons, traveling to visit the kids great grandmother.. and where's thier dad? who knows..
only someone who knows what im talking about knows how much this kind of thing hurts.. to hear the kids say.. auntie stole daddy so hes broken from the family now.. or watch them draw pictures of the family with thier dad on the other side of a line they draw down the middle... or to watch them crumble with not understanding when thier dad sees them somewhere and books instead of talking to them, or hugging them or somthing.. i get.. momma.. why did daddy just leave me.. he didn't say goodbye.. crushed. what am i supost to do or say? hes 5. and following in the footsteps is my 1 year old.. dead beat dad's.. should be fed to canibals by the children they abandon. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/24/2006 4:00:19 AM | I am NOT being rude/bashing anyone woman/man but is anyone sick of seeing the "deadbeat dads/deadbeat moms" threads online i mean NONE of us are perferfect and WE ALL make mistakes why cant people just, let things go and make the best of it but also PROTECT your child rather you are a woman or a man i mean its uncalled for when women/men bash eachother or look down upon them for things that happend. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/24/2006 6:22:48 AM | spiderham... "He may be able to relinquish his rights. However it does not give him the ability of walking away from his responsibitlies. If it were that simple there would be not Child Support Battles fought in the courts.
No at this point in time the only person who can legally walk away from child is the Mother.. and only either by abortion, prior to birth. Or at time of delivery or very soon after by putting up for adoption.
At that point in time, she is no longer held responsible for the child. But no suck right exsits for men in any way shape or form."
that's funny... my son's father got away with walking away. actually... i was glad he made that choice and i more than happy not to go after him for support. my son is now 18 and i've WORKED the entire time to support my son WITHOUT a penny from his father. so... in the delusional world you're living in, maybe men don't get away with walking away from their responsibilities and all women go after the men for support but in my reality world... i made a decision to have my child and took full responsibility for that decision and didn't give his father the option of being a part of my son's life. best choice i ever made, though i don't recommend anyone CHOOSE to be a single parent. it's not been easy but it happens. my point... it IS that simple spiderham... it really is.
as far as adoption goes... both parents get to walk away free and clear if they give their child up for adoption, not just the mother. i don't know where you get your information from but i've never heard of a father being held responsible for supporting a child that's been given up for adoption and i believe both parents have to be present to proceed with giving a child up for adoption. but if you want to blame that on the moms too... as if it's an easy thing to do, i'm sure there's someone on this site that been there, done that, and can speak to the reality of adoption. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/24/2006 8:12:20 AM | whosyourbadkitty
as far as adoption goes... both parents get to walk away free and clear if they give their child up for adoption, not just the mother
Your right. However both parents don't need to be present. Lets say for instance you get knocked up... bring the child to term, and never tell the father during the entire process... You then decide to keep the child. It doesn't matter how long you wait... once paternity is extablished that mad is legally responsible for helping to support their child. From the time of birth I might add in alot of places... not just from the time he finially was informed.
Again with the same argument. You bring the child to term, you give it up for adoption, but never tell the father. And then a year or so later you decide to tell the dad he had a kid with you. Well there is a certain time frame in which the father is allowed to claim the child. I believe it's like 60 days or something... 2-3months... I don't know for sure, but I know it's not a long time.
The guy may of wanted the child. But he does not have the ability to raise his child anymore because he was never told.
Woman have the choice given to them automatically what she wants to do with the child. The father doesn't. If he doesn't want the child... but the mother does... To Bad so Sad, he could be on the hook in helping at least finicially. And Vice Versa.. if he does... but she doesn't.. and has an abortion... There nothing the prospective father can do.
Now whether you decide to persue the matter of Child Support is totally up to you. There is no law that says you must collect Child Support. And I support those Single Parents, who have figured out the other parent is a dead beat, and made choices to ensure the finicial well being of your household and your child.
but if you want to blame that on the moms too... as if it's an easy thing to do i'm sure there's someone on this site that been there, done that, and can speak to the reality of adoption.
The only thing I was trying to say was that this thread keeps making it sound like Men are the only ones capable of leaving their child with no support, or interaction. And I feel the need to clarify this, because it's simply not true.
Again I am a Single Father... Thats right mom Left.. does not pay support.. does not interact with her child. Now of course when I tell people this the first thing I get asked is "Oh why is that? Is there is something wrong with her? How can mom leave her child?" Almost imediate simpathy or empathy.
A buddy of mine who does not see his children because his ex Illegally left the country with his daughter to Japan... When he tells people he doesn't pay child support... or see his children, and I've seen this happen. Before asking why... He simply gets a bad look from the person, and then he has to go about defending himself.
I find in genral that society seems to take women at face value when it comes to the story of how they became a single parent. And that simply calling the Ex a jerk is more then sufficent to explain his actions, and absolve the woman of any wrong doing in the matter. I'm not trying to say that you had hand in things like Drug Abuse... Physical abuse.. stuff like that... but talk to your fellow single Mothers.. and ask them how they became that way... I'm willing to bet alot of them will simply say that their ex was a jerk to them or something along that lines.
Where again when I tell people I'm a Single Father... I somehow have to qualify what I mean. No not just on weekends... Not not joint... No Mom is not involed... Yes she left me and him... blah blahh... And people just seem to have trouble with the idea the women are capable of sunch things. | |
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jeffyb
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Joined: 10/2/2005
Msg: 81 | |
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/24/2006 8:26:29 AM | I don't live with my daughter. but I spend more time with her than her mother does, so what I would like to see is the court system actually works and not let crap like this happen. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/24/2006 10:49:49 AM | | your daughter is precious! I don't know if this will help other than to offer words of encouragement, but I once dated a guy who had sole custody of his daughter..mom was totally out of the picture. It can happen. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/24/2006 8:06:28 PM | SpiderHam77
Um relax! I see my fair share of dead beat moms and on a daily basis!
Don't dig into me about ethics ok, this is not a competition, and you aren't that good of a debator, sorry.
The question was, and still is: Is it an offense? when did I state that is "should only apply to dead beat dads?" So, when you are ready to argue the ethics behind all your CS and USA research then I'll respond. Law is based on ethics, and what you say could make a difference, but NOT if you are just looking for validation that you are a good dad (which I am sure that you are, or you wouldn't be so passionate about depending the predjudices ok).. so lighten up & be human! LOL | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/24/2006 8:10:13 PM | SpiderHam77
TY...TY...
I like what you have had to post on here and i agree with you
you seem think alot, like me but that is YOUR choice im not makeing
you agree with me or even think the same way i think. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/25/2006 8:19:01 AM | Lula777
The main reason I get so frustrated is because of the fact that I see to many men out there get taken through the rigner, while for the most part women get a free pass..
The and before you think that Laws are a reflection of Ethics. I have to disagree with you. I do believe that for the most part Laws are created to represent what the Majority of the population wants to see happen.
However we have alot of laws on the books that even though they exist, are only really applied in 1 direction. Abortion Laws are the best example. I'm not in favour of abortion by any stretch of the imagination. However I do agree with the idea of a womans right to choose, and would never strike down such a law. However the law only affects women. A man has 0% say in if the child he has helped to create is destroyed or brought to term. Only 1 sector of society, women, can make that choice.
Also even though laws exist how they are applied is also left to be desired. Lets take a look at the idea of assult. If a man hits a woman, he is simply arrested and then charged, and they are followed through with to conviction.
When was the last time you can think of a woman assulting a man... Being charged and then convicted. I'm willing to bet you can think of about 3-4 cases maybe... and thats only because grevious bodly harm was caused during the assult.
Ethically speaking. A Law is a Law... you break it, no matter who you are, you are still bound by them, and must serve the punishment that societ has deemed fit for that crime.
Ethics behind CS laws are simple. The idea is that the NCP is supposed contribute to the finicial well being of the child. And it is calculated based on the idea that if they were in the household this is how much income would suplimented into the lives of their children. The idea is sound. I'm not arguing that. I totally agree with the idea of CS.
What is disagree with is the way in such law is implemented. It's based on the idea that if you have maintained a certain level of income for a period of time, then you have the ability to pay X number of dollars in the form of CS. Makes sense.
However where the system goes screwy, and this is where I have seen people get taken through the ringer. It makes no immediate account for say things like a Layoff. Say your working as a Millrite... pretty decent paying job. But all of the sudden the plant you work in shts down. Your all of the sudden out of income... but your CS order is still in effect, and no matter what you have to keep paying it.
But the only way you can continue to make the same amount of money, because your in a small town persay is to move over 2 hours away from where you have been living. So you decide that you would rather spend the time with your children, and being the same town, and take a lesser paying job to do such a thing....
The courts though... don't look at it that way.. they simply take a look at your income level, and then levy a CS payment equiv to that... and once ordered, trying to get it reduced is a major task to accomplish.
The main reason I get very upset about alot of this stuff is because first and formost I'm a advocate of Fathers Rights... I believe that gender does not qualify a better parent. And secondly I personally believe all people are equal under the eyes of the law.. and they should be levied accordingly.
I don't care if your a girl of only 125lbs... and you hit a guy twice your size... thats assult. And you should be charged with such, and convicted... Who cares if no real bodly harm was caused beyond a small bruise maybe... Because if a 250 lbs man were to hit a girl of 125lbs.. we both know he would be charged without question, and carry a conviction after it. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/25/2006 8:40:37 AM | i have to tell u guys after reading how society has to pay for these children no they dont im a single mom i dont get support never have either and ive yet to see a welfare check i work a dead end job but it pays the bills sometimes things are tight but we make it though and i have also put myself though school doing this.. tuition 11gs books another 2 gs...
now lets stop blaming the dads for single moms being on welfare it doesnt fly in my book
another point about ur tax doller it costs 137 a day for a minium secuity inmate to be in jail in canada now thats 4110$ a month a walfare check is what im gona say between 600-900 i dont know id rather pay the welfare check lol thats my opionion then pay for some idiot to sit in jail well i pay 4gs a month for him to be stupid.. and go to brownie camp
and remember for as many dead beat dads out there there is dead beat moms too | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/25/2006 8:59:14 AM | You Go Jenny,
I'm old enough to be your Dad and raised a boy thats almost your age, and you are at a fresh start, but you got the attitude, and thats what it takes.
Don't get side tracked with the BS.
WOWbyBDJ: When a sharp cat gets thrown, it still lands on its feet.
Good Luck:
That said, these children of today, will be the leaders of tommorrow. As we make decisions for them while they are in diapers, one day they will make decisions while we might be in diapers. Just WOWby BDJ.
We all need to be involved, and including the children and the changes, and if we need to hold others accountable.
Joe | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/25/2006 12:05:03 PM | SpiderHam77
Um, I think you should get your facts straight before you state that "father's have no say over abortion", when in fact they do. In some cases the man has to sign a waiver in order for the woman to have the abortion.
I understand your frustration about the bad rap sheet some men get over parenting, and the Father's Rights. But it sounds like you have sole custody, and in a good way - the ex is not involved (she is too unstable) and so why are you worrying about your rights? sounds like that area is already taken care of in your life?
If you are that bothered, there are dad's groups to join & advocate in. There are more and more fantastic up-right men parenting their children these days - I don't know what generation you're stuck in!
I think you just want to vent & again, you are not a good debator.
I think you need to post a forum that is for single dad's who want to take action in the courts to see equality - why don't you do something positive with your passion, instead of just kinda make yourself look not so smart with the debates? (not saying this to start a fight) | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/25/2006 12:09:45 PM | SpiderHam77
hmm the last time I saw a man assult a woman? I would have to say ME and the tons of woman I met in shelters afterwards - when I left him once & never returned!
I think you mean well, I do, but how many woman have you met who have been abused?
How many woman do you personally know who had abortions?
You sure sprout off a good deal of words, but you are really coming off like you know your crap & I'm sorry, but until you've been in any of the situations AS A WOMAN - you are still just a man! | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/25/2006 12:34:40 PM | "The main reason I get so frustrated is because of the fact that I see to many men out there get taken through the rigner, while for the most part women get a free pass.."
Yeah thats true because it does happend................i mean how come its okay have a "deadbeat dad" thread but not okay have a deadbeat moms thread when you make one
of those, its get deleted i mean there are alot of deadbeat moms around here. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/25/2006 2:52:56 PM | in defence of spiderham....he actually IS A GOOD DEBATER SORRY.......
he knows his facts....and hes probally been through alot of shit that we cant even begin to imagine. Not only is he a single dad whose wife ran out but hes also got a great looking son who is special needs as well.
We need to be advocates for our children and ourselves as well. If we feel threatened and backed into a corner like a cat what do we do??? Pluck up our fur and attck and hiss right?? its a natural reaction. Its the sterotypes from ppl that really really piss me off..when ppl ask ohh he left you..WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM? WTF??? ME??? twhy does it always have to be the woman being blamed for the man taking off?? you should have been nicer...not such a **** you ran him off.....theres something wrong with you...not him..uh huh...then why did his gf catch him suicidal 3 yrs ago hmmmmmmmm>>>>??????
I had to defend myself and still do to this day my rights as a single mom...im one of those moms who doesnt take bullshit from anyone and will say so. My son is special needs as well not only is it very hard having a child like that but also throw being a single mom into the mix too. I am very proud to say I have NEVER BEEN ON WELFARE ONCE. I have taken care of my kids on my own for over 4 yrs now. i have too much pride to go there..i know for some moms and dads its a life saver and there is no other chioce...hugs to all | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/25/2006 3:26:55 PM | Stop sleeping with them?
OR everyone knows that they are out there, its a risk, a fact ya might come across one that floats off on ya..
ahhhhh hmmmm be pickier? wishful thinking sucks, look for real before you deal?
Oh the dead beat not just a dad tile, it a unisex thing.... | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/25/2006 4:00:47 PM | SpiderHan77
Did you even READ what I said clearly earlier "it applies to both sexes"
AND
I have seen more women suffering and who have been taken to the "ringers" then you - What is you problem? seriously... WHEN have you seen thousands, yes THOUSANDS of woman turned away from emergency shelter??? right here in this city! rarely men!!!!
You annoy the crap out of me!
and I think you're ignorant about this topic! | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/25/2006 4:06:32 PM | i have also put myself though school doing this..
Jenny,
Cudos to you!!! I put myself through school before I got married (well, all but the last year) and it was hard enough then without a child! I'm now getting ready to start on my master's degree, but my son is 17, a senior, and about to be away at college, so it won't be anything like having to keep up with an adorable two year old girl! Keep it up!! | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/25/2006 4:18:09 PM | lulu,
Chill a little...
I, too, was married to an abusive man...actually two. The first was physically and emotionally abusive; the second was emotionally abusive. He hit me once, but to this day, I swear, I provoked him. I was pissed and wanted a fight. He had never hit me before, so I really didn't think he would then. He never did again. I think it surprised him as much as it did me that he actually did it. Having said that, I will say that there are MEN as well who are abused. Most of them are emotionally abused by women who, for one reason or another, think it's okay to treat them like crap, to constantly belittle them about everything they do. The difference is the attitude society has towards men makes it hard for them to talk about it, or in the case of physical abuse, report it, and not be ridiculed. The bottom line is ABUSE IS WRONG!!! Also, in the case of parents being abused, it's the kids who suffer the most in the long run. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/25/2006 4:46:51 PM | I AGREE....... ppl need to chill and not get thier claws out...i think we are defending ourselves in the long run. We have been standing up for not only oursleves but for our children as well and only US and our loved ones know the absolute truth as to how we are doing.
When a stranger comes in and tries to tell us otherwise without knowing the complete facts as to our every day lives....its a stab in the heart...we wanna scream YOU DONT KNOW ME..YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IVE BEEN THROUGH...HOW DARE YOU..
I get like that quite often...and its completely normal. Some of us have been to hell and back..and even more. We must validate ourselves and give yourself a pat on the back once in a while. We tend to forget to do that. who gives a fukc what ppl think?? I used to care sooo much now im like whats the freakin point?? the only one who i care to make happy is MYSELF..MY KIDS..MY PARENTS.... AND MY LOVER...period.
sure...say your piece...give your advice..but be careful not to scratch ppls eyes out... | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/25/2006 6:09:38 PM | Before you get on the whole dead-beat dad thing...from the view of someone that pays that support, wholly and willingly, at the cost of almost losing my ability to be independant...better read up on those child support guidelines. There is not a single source of income that the "custodial parent" can't get money from.
From the Connecticut Child Support Guidelines:
"Gross Income inclusions are:
Salary
Hourly wages for regular, overtime, and additional employment not to exceed 45 total paid hours per week
commissions, bonuses and tips
profit sharing, deferred compensation and severance pay
tribal stipends and incentives
employment perquisisites and in-kind compensation
military personnel fringe benefit payments
benefits received in place of earned income, including (but not limited to) worker's compensation benefits, unemployment insurance benefits, strike pay and disability insurance benefits
veteran's benefits
social security benefits
net proceeds from contractual agreements
pension and retirement income
rental income after deducting "reasonable and neccessary expenses"
estate or trust income
royalties
interest, dividends and annuities
self-employment earnings after deducting "reasonable and neccessary expenses"
alimony being paid by an individual who is not party to the support determination
adoption subsidy benefits
lottery and gambling winngs (and similar prizes)
education grants"
For all you money-grubbing people...what the heck is missing from that list? I can hardly buy food for myself, much less my child when I'm "allowed" to have him visit me. And if I get a second job to have additional money...well, that raises the money that she gets, which leaves me still short.
Don't forget, it's the non-custodial parent who pays for that medical insurance. And then foots (at least for me) more than half the medical bills, for each and every time that the "custodial parent" decides to take the child to the doctor.
All things told, after my bills are paid, and expenses for just getting to work and back are paid, I'm left with $40 a month for food, clothing, and for heating oil for during the winter. Walk a mile in someone else's shoes before you start complaining about all those dead-beat dads.
Some of them might have escaped the system...but this is one dad who will pay, but will struggle through it, and hate the system that has caused this. And I will do anything for my child, and the day that I am able to rescue my son from his mother, is the day that I will be forever blissful. My son is my life.
(granted, I'm bitter and...nasty due to a very *ahem* nice woman that let me learn what I DON'T need in my life) | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/25/2006 7:04:43 PM |
Um, I think you should get your facts straight before you state that "father's have no say over abortion", when in fact they do. In some cases the man has to sign a waiver in order for the woman to have the abortion.
Not quite sure how to respond to that. Simply because if that were the case there would be no abortion laws in the first place. Abortions laws were created to give women the right to choose what they can, and cannot do to their bodies. Thats what the famous court battle Roe vs Wade was all about.
Abortion Laws were created to protect a woman's right to choose what type of operation she may have done, or not done to her. And not have to seek the States permission, or anyone elses for that matter to have it done. The creation of the law in reality really had very little to do with the aborting of fetuses.
hmm the last time I saw a man assult a woman? I would have to say ME and the tons of woman I met in shelters afterwards - when I left him once & never returned!
I think you mean well, I do, but how many woman have you met who have been abused?
How many woman do you personally know who had abortions?
I know of men who have assulted women as well... All I have to do is open a paper to see that. And I'm sorry that your Ex beat you. No one derserves to be beaten at all. And I believe all abusers... Both Men and Women should be locked up. And the reasons are unimportant. You abuse.. you go to jail.. I'm a little black and white on that issue.
However thats not what I asked. I asked when was the last you actually heard of a woman being charged with assult... convicted of the crime, and then sentenced. I know this one takes a little thought, because there are very few cases out there... And the ones that are there are only because grevious bodily harm was caused.. or a weapon was involved.
It's not because it doesn't happen. It's because of the way they are viewed. Kinda like rape cases. If a teenaged girl is raped by an older man... Society is ready to throw the book at this guy... And I agree we should.
However if a Teenage boy was raped by an older woman.. We call this statory rape. It's not viewed in the same way. As a matter of fact it's almost unbeliavble to alot of people... Think about all the cases you've heard of this happening...
And yes I do know women who had abortions.. I've even driven one to the clinic because she didn't trust herself to drive home after it.
I have seen more women suffering and who have been taken to the "ringers" then you - What is you problem? seriously... WHEN have you seen thousands, yes THOUSANDS of woman turned away from emergency shelter??? right here in this city! rarely men!!!!
First off... how many Men's Shelters can you list in your city compared to Woman's shelters. Secondly, and this is not ment to sound sexist, just an observation. For the most part men are willing to work harder to ensure they don't get there. They are willing to do the labour jobs... the trash collecting... construction... and provide for themselves... The higher paying... and what most people view as low class jobs in otherwords.
Alot of women are either unware of the opertunities that are out there for them... or just plain not willing to take advantage of them. Good paying jobs are out there... we are in the middle of a Labour Shortage throughout all of North America.
And the argument that I could understand things unless I was a woman, is what we call a Circle Argument. Because I could spout of the same thing about being a man. Life is about perspective. And the way you see things is the way you see things.
And I don't quite know how I'm ignorant about this topic. Your more then welcome to disagree with me. I'd like to know how you think I'm ignorant about all of this. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/25/2006 7:24:59 PM | Paul:
Thank you for putting more detail into that. I don't pay CS... nor have I actually applied for it from my ex... so I didn't realize all that was taken into account. But I have heard many many stories from men mostly who litterally go into shock when slapped with a CS bill. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/25/2006 9:25:23 PM | spider... i believe it's absolutely rediculous of you to think women get "a free pass." not only do we carry our children for nine months but we have to go through labor and delivery. if men don't want children, they can be just as responsible as women and glove up. they can get snipped, we can take pills, we are ALL responsible. but when it comes to support... men should be held just as accountable as women, especially when they do nothing to care for their children... like hospital visits, cooking, cleaning, homework, activities, quality time, shopping, providing a roof over their little heads... these are all things women and men HAVE to do and those who don't, ought to be punished. i don't care if it's the man or the woman who neglects their repsponsibility... dead beat dad, dead beat mom... a dead beat is a dead beat but don't you go making it seem like ALL women have it easy.
the day you can carry a child to term and squirt the little booger out the end of your penis, then come talk to me about how easy it all is.
i made a poor choice in choosing the time i had my child, the father, the means by which i'd raise my child and guess what he got out of the deal.... OFF SCOTT FREE! just like countless other parents, men and women. more men than women i'd venture to say.
oh... and since 9/11... you can't put a father's name on a child's birth certificate without him being present so your example of how father's aren't aware they have children holds no weight... not in the USA anyway. | |
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