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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/25/2006 10:19:24 PM | wow......when does the anger die, seriously.
This thread started out being about the so called
"dead-beat dad eppidemic", so some good fathers
defend themselves and it's now turned into...........
9 months of child birth. Holy smokes......
I've read every post so I'm not here to just shoot the
sh*t.
whosyourbadkitty - are you seriously going to argue the
fact that women don't have it easier? a few clicks on your
search engine should help clear that up. He wasn't talking
about nine months of labor, delivery etc. reread the post.
I totally agree that the careless of sexual encounters is to
pay for alot of this bs. And everyone, male or female should
have to pay for their actions, no one will agrue that.
Is everything fair, no....he11 no.
Does everything come easy, no. It doesn't matter if your
a single father or mother, it's the hardest job you'll ever have,
but also the best :) Does it piss me off that people aren't
responsible, yes but am I going to dwell over it or do what I
gotta do? I choose to get my @ss in gear and give my children
the best I can minus the bs :)
Do statistics show the majority are men, I guess if were counting.
But why are we counting? and if we all believe their seems to be
an eppidemic of dead beats (men or women) why aren't all us
non dead beat parents getting along instead of bashing eachother
since clearly if you think about it level headed all non dead beats are
on the same side, hmmmmmmmm......things to ponder.
I for one don't recieve child support but I've never applied,
I support my boys since it's not worth the fight/battle, if I could
fight for anything I'd force him to see his kids, play with them, love them like
I do, but that's not possible so I pick up the pieces and do the best I
can. I don't sit at home angry everytime somethings hard to tackle as
a single parent I think "now how can I tackle this" hehehehe
and I don't think of my ex. I made my choice and I except full responsiblity
for all my actions (good or bad) and I'm not shooting out blame, I picked
my partner.....ahhhhhhhhh were can I hide my face. lmao
the thing here is it doesn't matter what gender you are,
people have to make wiser choices in every area dating, sex, marriage,
and parenting and face all responsiblities for their actions head on,
and I don't mean diving out the door. lol (okay bad joke)
I think this whole pointing fingers on who has it better or easier simply
horrifies me since clearly the only people who can understand my life are
other single parents (men or women). We're all single parents, enough said.
Our children rock!!
GPH | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/26/2006 6:26:42 AM | whosyourbadkitty:
spider... i believe it's absolutely rediculous of you to think women get "a free pass." not only do we carry our children for nine months but we have to go through labor and delivery. if men don't want children, they can be just as responsible as women and glove up. they can get snipped
Okay first off, I have no idea how any of that relates to what I was just talking about. I fully understand that you women carry an unborn for the gestation of 9month. It's call biology. Men are incapable of having children.
And I do agree we all need to take percautions in Birth Control. Pills, "Getting Snipped" as you put it, condoms.. heck the best one even being not having sex... But here is the thing... thats all pre-conception. Called percautions... and the only one out of all of them that is pretty much garanteed not to have to kid, no sex at all. The rest of the percautions all carry the chace they may fail.
But post-conception women are the only ones left with a choice in determing if a child is brought to term. I understand for alot of women, the emotional scar in having an abortion is hard to take... But the option is still there for you.
Once prego, a man has no choice in what will happen to them for the next 18 years of his life. You as a woman could decide to have an abortion... Even though the guy, once finding out your prego wants this child 100% in his life. The most he can do is try and convince you not to have an abortion... But we as men cannot force you to have a child.
oh... and since 9/11... you can't put a father's name on a child's birth certificate without him being present so your example of how father's aren't aware they have children holds no weight... not in the USA anyway.
Actually that whole thing strengthens my argument... What I was trying to say is that in order to know we have a child, we have to be informed... When you become prego, nothing happens to us physically... Not like some little angel swoops down from heaven to pass on the message.
You could go 5 years after the birth of a child... but if you happen to live on the other side of the country from the father... and decide not to tell him.. he doesn't know.
But here is the strange thing, once informed and paternity established, the guys name can be added to the birth cert, against his will I might add. And once that is done he is deemed to be responsible for the child... up to here it makes sense... But say it's been 5 years... he is held liable from the birth of the child.. and can all of the sudden have a CS levied against him for the past 5 years...
Usually in most cases the previous years could be half support... or an arrangement for a lump sum can be discussed... but he is responsible for something he didn't even know exsited. It would be like forcing you to pay a debt on something you never knew you owned... nor had the pleasure of using.
But what I seem to have the most trouble with in these postings is the idea of punishment. I still have trouble understanding, and this is just logic here, how my tax dollars are best spent punishing someone just because you are pissed off at them.
They have done nothing against the people of Canada. We have thousands children left without a 2nd parent due to death... Should we then lock up the corpses as well... They aren't being good enough parents.
Dead Beat Parents have not commited any crime against the Citizens of the country they live in. The only thing are doing is not being a good parent. I know that may piss some people off... however I don't see how that justifies locking them up.
I would like nothing more then for my Ex to become involved with my childs life. He deserved to have his Mom there for him. However, having her locked up for such a thing, that would just me being mad because she made different choices then me.
There is no garantee that your child is going to have both parents involved in their lives. When having a child, you should be prepared for such a thing. Could be during pregancy the fathers dies... During Labour.. the mother dies... Could be you get seperated from your partner, and you both move far far away from each other. Could be the NCP doesn't want anything to do with their child.
Whatever the reason is, we have laws that force them to be finicially responsible for their children. To some they may seem ineffective... to others, as it looks like Paul in a previous post has found out, quite effective.
If you want to make laws more effective.... make those ones more effective... Figure a better system for collection... Better system for evaluation... But locking somoene up ay my expense makes no sense at all.
I believe I saw 137 per day. At an average 30 day period per month, thats 4110. 4K. And then once they are out, they have a Crim Record... Well you can almost forget about seeing much money from them after that... People don't hire criminals... At least not for the decent paying jobs that require stuff likea clean crim record... | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/26/2006 6:33:57 AM | gph... actually... yes i did. i responded to the statement "The main reason I get so frustrated is because of the fact that I see to many men out there get taken through the rigner, while for the most part women get a free pass.." my point... THERE ARE NO FREE PASSES and especially for the women who continue to bear these children in situations where the father is not present for what ever the reason may be. to compare a father "being taken through the ringer" to a mother who chooses to keep and raise her child without the father is absolutely WRONG on every level. even comparing a man to a woman who gives birth and abandons her child wouldn't be a fair comparison. like my opinion or not gph... the plain and simple fact is there is no way to compare a man to a woman as the gentleman i responded to had tried.
my point had nothing to do with WHO "has it better." deadbeat = deadbeat no matter the sex but keep in mind the woman suffers physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially, while the man doesn't have to endure the physical, mental or emotional side of carrying a child and giving birth, which could affect the woman for the rest of his life. so... if anyone is "getting a free pass", it's the man and i'm highly offended that a man would think a women "gets a free pass" for that reason.
i don't have any complaints about the choice i made to be a single parent who didn't want the support of the father. i've done very well for myself and my son is now off to a univeristy in japan. had his father been present in his life... he'd probably be on his way to prison by now... i count my blessings every day and don't recommend women put themselves in situations like i chose. it's a tough path to take in life which makes it easy for the weak to choose the life of a deadbeat.
the only sure way to stop this "eppidemic" if for any sexually active person to take 100% responsibility for themselves and their behavior and simply don't let unplanned pregancy happen by any means availble to them and if that means abstinence, then that's what people need to do. if you can't afford birth control, you can't afford children! | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/26/2006 8:01:47 AM | whosyourbadkitty:
yes i did. i responded to the statement "The main reason I get so frustrated is because of the fact that I see to many men out there get taken through the rigner, while for the most part women get a free pass.."
Yes you did respond to my statement... but you have provided one based on pure emotion rather then reasoning. As an Ex-Husband who went through the whole Pregnacy thing with my Ex-Wife I can remember nights of not being able to sleep because I was sent on errands to satisfy her cravings..
I can remember getting the irratic phone calls at work, and then having to deal with her, when I'm supposed to be making money at my place of employment in order to support us. The effects may not be same, however they are just as prevelant. And for me they were very harsh because I am one who when I work, takes my job seriously.. and need to focus my attention into it.
my point had nothing to do with WHO "has it better." deadbeat = deadbeat no matter the sex but keep in mind the woman suffers physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially, while the man doesn't have to endure the physical, mental or emotional side of carrying a child and giving birth, which could affect the woman for the rest of his life. so... if anyone is "getting a free pass", it's the man and i'm highly offended that a man would think a women "gets a free pass" for that reason.
You just disagreed with your own argument in that paragraph. First you say neither sex has it better... and then you go onto say that men have it better... Which is it? From my perspective women have alot more available to them in terms of support.
There are tons of women's support groups... When people hear your Single Mom you gain that automatic empathy card from alot of people. When approaching the Gov for help, walking in as a Single Mom, you are given the benefit of the doubt about your situation.
I can remember first hand... Trying to find a group for Single Dads out there... well there isn't one in my area that I have found. The closest thing I have found is a Single Parents forum. I had a month where I had to approach Welfare do to a change of jobs.. and paycheques...
I went in as a Single Father, and explained to them, I am here because I want to make sure my son has Food on the Table.. and roof over his head.. Well in order for me collect benefits, I had to first prove that Mom is out of the picture... Which I can tell you from experience trying to prove a negative is alot harder then it sounds...
Secondly they went through my last 6 months of Finical history, and started asking me why I didn't plan on this. I looked them square in the eye, and simply said I didn't plan to get laid off from my job. And that I had another job lined up within 3 days of being laid off, it's just to ensure my Rent is paid, and food on the table, there was going to be almost a month with no income, and well I couldn't do it...
Well finially after 3 days with them trying to accomplish this, I finially was given 1 months worth of help, which is all I was asking for... But I had to sign a form agreeing to pay it back. I signed it, but thought afterwords I essentially just got a loan, not a form of help at all...
Then a friend of mine, who became a Single Mom after seperating from her B/F walked in, and I gave her warning of what I went through... That night she was lined up with housing for her and her daughter, and no questions were asked.... I was in disbelief...
So before you start spouting off about which gender has it easier, remember life is about perspective.
had his father been present in his life... he'd probably be on his way to prison by now...
And this whole comment about if Dad had been involved in his life he may of been in Prison.. whatever.. I'm happy to hear your Son is attending Uni... Cudos on him... As far as it being the result of your upbringing... or his desire to want to go... who knows, thats a totally different argument. But to simply catagorlicly say that because dad was not involved he manage to accomplish this task is simply an emotion, rather then a statement founded in reason.
Tons of children come out of abusive familys, and somehow managed to attend Universty... or gain a good job... Alot of your son's choice to go to University is his choice to want to go...
I could use the same argument and say, your lucky since he didn't have dad involved in his life, he didn't end a drug user... Or a psycopath... The argument just doesn't hold water.
the only sure way to stop this "eppidemic" if for any sexually active person to take 100% responsibility for themselves and their behavior and simply don't let unplanned pregancy happen by any means availble to them and if that means abstinence, then that's what people need to do. if you can't afford birth control, you can't afford children!
Well there is something I can stand behind... A well put statement.
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/26/2006 1:40:13 PM | paul,
Dang....how do you live??? I was being generous when I took less than my ex was suppose to pay, and he has never paid anything medical!! I can see why those of you in Canada would complain!! | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/26/2006 1:58:06 PM | | canada has laws pertaining to this sort of clause so contrary to belief there are few deadbeats and more whining wusses,education is the biggest key,but to keep it simple laws are even flawed deadbeat moms are starting to turn up too | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/26/2006 2:37:36 PM | THE ONLY THING I CAN SAY IS THAT YES.. UNFORTUNATELY WOMEN HAVE IT EASIER....
society has built it up against the men that its a whole fishtank thinking the same way...its really not fair imho..
too many ppl pity the women but when the cheek is turned the other way and a single dad is in trouble (like spiders case) its too bad so sad.
Im an advocate for myself and my kids but i see the gov crappin on the guys heads too..it makes me angry too...there are some very genuine single dads out there that need help as well but its just not there...
so where can they turn to??????????????????????? | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/26/2006 7:15:55 PM | trikersbaby,
I think what society seems to forget is that we are all SINGLE PARENTS...doesn't matter whether it is single mom or single dad, if we need help in getting what is right for our children, then we need help. I know there are a lot of NCP that barely get by because their exes try to "take them to the cleaners," and to me, that is so wrong. But for the NCP to totally abandon his/her responsibility to the child is even more wrong. I'd be happy right now if my ex would just send a gift card or something along that line to help my son get some of his back to school stuff! | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/26/2006 9:47:44 PM | trikers... singles dad's that do want to step up to the plate and take responsibility for their children need to fight with every ounce of their being, by any legal means necessary to remain a constant part of their child's life. that being said... when you play with fire, you run the risk of getting burned. men need to be very careful about selecting the women they sleep with as we all know... that little pill "doesn't always work". don't be so free with lettin' the swimmers out of the pool if you don't want some chick to run off with what could be your child. men know this can happen yet they refuse to protect themselves and sit there dumbfounded when shite hits the fan. if men know how the court systems work... don't play with fire.
i'm obviously not a man, so i can't speak for a good father who's fought a battle for his child and lost but i think it's a horrible slap in the face to any good man that does stand up to lose. there are tons of great men out there that are awesome fathers... that's just not the topic here.
topic is deadbeats and how to "stop the eppidemic."
both men and women are to blame for all this nonsense and irresponsibility. i took responsibility for my careless actions. if others here have too... this doesn't pertain to them. i've already shared my opinion on how to stop this problem from happening and i've made sure i didn't make the same poor choice in life again. my son is a true blessing, it was my choices that were bad. once more people realize this before they've made bad choices... this will stop. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/26/2006 10:16:49 PM | ^^^^^ ^^^^^^
now that's a post!!
"topic is deadbeats and how to "stop the eppidemic."
both men and women are to blame for all this nonsense and irresponsibility.
i took responsibility for my careless actions"
very well spoken...I couldn't agree more
"my son is a true blessing, it was my choices that were bad. once more people
realize this before they've made bad choices... this will stop. "
Exactly, once we all stop blaming others for our bad choices, I've made my
fair share and start excepting responsibilty for them by making sure
it doesn't happen again. The best thing we can do is admit where we've
made mistakes and learn from them because no one is flawless.
"men need to be very careful about selecting the women they sleep with as we all
know... that little pill "doesn't always work". don't be so free with lettin' the
swimmers out of the pool if you don't want some chick to run off with what
could be your child"
It boils down to protection above all protection, yes I'm preeching gosh darn
it :) If anyone believes there is an eppidemic of dead beat "parents" then nows
the time to rubber up *wink* pun totally intended!!!!!!
you all make valid opinions, atleast most of you...hehehe
you guys rock!!
GPH | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/27/2006 12:53:25 AM | I have to agree with this post that was made...."both men and women are to blame for all this nonsense and irresponsibility." and i think if none of us are ready take the responsibility to be a mom/dad than, we should PROTECT ourselves instead of when things happend always blameing it on the man or the woman i mean sure there are men who do NOT care about their kids but there are also men who DO care about their kids.
(We (men N women) have to have/use better judgement in chooseing somebody to have kids by because there ARE signs a man/woman gives off to as how they truely are and how they will, end up treating you i mean come on we are N O T dumb.! | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/27/2006 7:18:21 AM | If a woman is arrested for abandonment it is because she left the child with no guardian. Although it statistically happens less (obviously); if a male parent leaves the child with no guardian he would be arrested as well. If a woman left the child with the father and abondoned the child as so many men do. I have never heard of a woman being arrested in this set of circumstances.
There is an equal law in most states.......If you file the child support papers and report most states are getting very tough on those who refuse to pay.
Now having said this I DO NOT advocate inprisoning an ex partner UNLESS the childs welfare will be jepardized. This is for the childs sake. It puts undo pressure on the child to know their parents are putting each other in prison over him/her. And Oft times the deadbeat parent take it out on the child. I won't go after my ex-wife because I know that it would seriously strain my son's relationship with his mom. And although I am not living high on the hog I do make it to the end of the month.
I faced the prison thing when I caught up to my ex after chasing her across two continents for three years. Iclosed my eyes and imagined what I would feel if I was told my parent had put the other in jail over me .......and I couldn't do it........Much to my friends and families chagrin.
Sometimes IT MUST be done......... but not just because we can | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/27/2006 7:33:31 AM | whosyourbadkitty
Spiderham is right ...in the court and most government agencies give us single dad's get a hard time ....guilty until proven innocent. I was in court more than a year .....flying 3000 miles for each hearing with my ex never showing up for the hearings (NEVER ONE and she supposedly lived in town) before they stopped treating me like a second class citizen.
And as for going through the ringer........ walk a mile in another mans shoes. Every case is different. If you heard the whole thing you'd agree
And Lastly ...back on topic is the ONLY way to truely stamp out the eppidemic of deadbeat PARENTS is to teach our children to respect their future childrens rights ABOVE THIER OWN !!!!! This must be done by example.......we must bite the bullet and put our grief and anger behind us. Guys have to stop showing thier sons the love'em and leave 'em technique and women must stop with the "he still has enough to go out on friday and chase women so I need more child support" (just examples folks)
Sexual protection will do nothing to stem the tide if attitudes don't change, There's as many deadbeats from marriages and monagamous relationships as from unmarried and non managamous | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/27/2006 7:45:39 AM | Wullis:
Now having said this I DO NOT advocate inprisoning an ex partner UNLESS the childs welfare will be jepardized. This is for the childs sake. It puts undo pressure on the child to know their parents are putting each other in prison over him/her. And Oft times the deadbeat parent take it out on the child. I won't go after my ex-wife because I know that it would seriously strain my son's relationship with his mom. And although I am not living high on the hog I do make it to the end of the month.
Your absolutley right. At the end of the day the only person who suffers for having Mom or Dad locked up for the reason of non-support is the child. A child doesn't care if mom or dad is caring for them. The don't have the ability to reason that kind of thing.
If you were to lock up an NCP and tried to explain to the child that's because he is not giving you any money.... The child will simply look at you, and say he wants to play with Daddy or Mommy...
The only purpose for locking such a person up is for your on vengful needs. It truely does serve no purpose... these people are not a danger to society... The are not commiting a crime against the population... The only thing they are guilty of is not being a parent to their child. And I will even qualify that statment more... a parent in the way that you deem them to be... | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/27/2006 7:51:52 AM | | In some cases, however, it's not in your hands. My ex is in vioaltion of his probation because not only is he not paying child support, he also quit reporting to his PO. THEY have the warrant out for his arrest. I made sure my 17 year old knows that they are the ones doing it, not me, because I don't want him blaming me when he can't talk to his father. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/27/2006 8:04:52 AM | trikers... singles dad's that do want to step up to the plate and take responsibility for their children need to fight with every ounce of their being, by any legal means necessary to remain a constant part of their child's life.
Now I agree with that statement to a point... Men should not have to fight for their rights... They are rights... Garanteed. We should not have to fight to prove something that should just be affoarded to us.
I personally believe that in terms of Custody.. it should be automatically ruled, Joint Custody. 50/50 every month. And CS should be taken off the table as then you would both have care of the child(ren) 50% of the time, and hence looking after all related expenses.
And after that... most NCP's would own up and say, no my job does not allow me to to take them 50% of the time.. and would opt to pay CS, and have visitations... But men should not have to go fighting for such rights...
I also believe any CP who decides to keep a child away from the NCP, without evidence that the NCP would harm the child. Should lose custody. I mean if you can produce recent photo's of the child all bruised up, and the courts can tell the difference between a punching bruise, or a kid falling down, then ya keep the NCP away if it can be shown he/she did it.
But I do know of some parents who try to keep a child away simply because they don't agree with the other parents theology... Or Parenting style... or other sorts of small reasons.. to Bad, So Sad... They do have rights to their children.
topic is deadbeats and how to "stop the eppidemic."
See now I don't truely feel there is an epidemic... In reality I think this problem truely only faces approx 10-20% of the entire parenting population at best... I think the only reason people tend to think it's more is because we only hear about the Negatives...
You don't hear about the 2 parents who come to an understanding on their own, never set foot in court.. and are doing everything they chan for their children.
I mean lets think about the Birth Rates and then Divorce Rates... Both pretty high in the world... For it to be an epidemic you have to have the majority of the people in a divorce or seperation refusing to pay CS... or refusing to see their children...
If you go out seeking negative information... you will get negative information. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/27/2006 8:04:47 PM | had there been an automatic 50/50 ruling in my son's case... he would have been raised 50% of the time by me, who doesn't use drugs, abuse alcohol, beat the crap out of my partner but on the other hand... he could have learned all that from his father during his 50% of the time.
you don't have to have a license to have children. when a child is born out of wedlock, they system, unless there are mitigating circumstances, automatically allows the mother to retain custody. so... like i said before... until men can give birth... you're stuck with the short end of the stick and should be careful where you let your swimmers loose. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/27/2006 8:23:56 PM |
had there been an automatic 50/50 ruling in my son's case... he would have been raised 50% of the time by me, who doesn't use drugs, abuse alcohol, beat the crap out of my partner but on the other hand... he could have learned all that from his father during his 50% of the time.
Once again you don't let me down for a rather one sided, unfounded statement. How do you know for sure... One of the things that my Son taught me was how to be patient. I had very little of it prior to having my son... But once having him in my life I learned it very quickly.
So to simply put out a statement that he would of done all that around your child is just simply your argument...
Also depending on the people you speak to... some people consider Marijuana to be an evil drug... some decree it to simply be an plant. Some people consider 1 beer in front of a child as to many.. no matter the context... some people think a couple beers at a BBQ is no big deal, even if children are present.
The problem is you just don't know what he would of done had he been involved with his child... It's simply an unfair statement.
you don't have to have a license to have children. when a child is born out of wedlock, they system, unless there are mitigating circumstances, automatically allows the mother to retain custody. so... like i said before... until men can give birth... you're stuck with the short end of the stick and should be careful where you let your swimmers loose.
Actually the system doesn't automatically just assign custody to the mother... The system uses whats called Defacto Custody... Essentially it looks at the past few months of the childs life. And if the child is in a safe stable environment, they don't remove them. It has nothing to do with Mom or Dad.
The problem is in most seperations it's the Dad who leaves the home. Usually because they don't want to cause friction in the home, and cause undo stress on the child.
Again I think until proven otherwise, a Father walking into court should be garanteed automatic 50% time with a child. Only way I could see this being taken away is because he is deemed dangerous twords his child... Or chooses not to have 50% of the time. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/27/2006 8:26:51 PM | I agree with this.............
"Again I think until proven otherwise, a Father walking into court should be garanteed automatic 50% time with a child. Only way I could see this being taken away is because he is deemed dangerous twords his child... Or chooses not to have 50% of the time."
This is very much true aswell
"We're all single parents, enough said."
We're ALL in the same boat and we ALL
have feelings and i do not think single parents
should be, lashing out at one another i mean we
should be giveing others support since we KNOW exactly
how the other single parent feels.
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/27/2006 10:11:08 PM | spider honey, doll face, sugar plum... my son's father is doing life in prison... nuff said  nothin' one sided about that or i wouldn't state my opinion as i do. assumptions are the mother of all fvcks ups and i hate to fvck up. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/27/2006 10:58:42 PM |
my son's father is doing life in prison... nuff said nothin' one sided about that or i wouldn't state my opinion as i do. assumptions are the mother of all fvcks ups and i hate to fvck up.
Well you never mentioned that before... I wasn't assuming anything.. I was simply making a statement based on the information at hand.. If he is doing Life in prison.. well he won't have much of a chance to see his kid then anyways...
And well that would pretty much go along the lines of what I was saying.. He has obviously been deemed a hazard to society.. so I would not want him near children anyways.
But that still doesn't change what I said... Yours is doing life in Prison... doesn't mean that fathers in genral should catagorlicly be kept away from their children. Based on the sole evaluation of the mother. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/27/2006 11:26:08 PM | bob barker says "spay or nueter" is the campaign for cats and dogs, eliminating unwanted pets, controlling the population, stopping the cycle.
I think there would be less threads on this topic if this idea was applied to the deadbeat parents out there... given a choice take care of the children they have or be to fixed. | |
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| I totally agree!
Posted: 7/27/2006 11:27:40 PM | | Okay, I am a 20 year old female and have had a dead beat dad for my whole life.. I think they should just go to jail for life when they do nothing for just 2 years during the first part of life.. As I see when you have nothing to do with your child for years, they should not expect us children to be there when THEY need US! Make sure your children know you are there for them and that they can make it with just you.. Everything will be okay.... Sometimes it just takes time, and let them know they can forgive but probably won't forget but that there are too many people that care for them so try not to burden your mind with sry people!! I keep the kids in my prayers! | |
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| I totally agree!
Posted: 7/28/2006 3:39:51 AM | Wow are yall so hostle on here i mean yeah deabeat dads may not care all that much or even come around hardly at all but at LEAST their dad is STILL alive and probly does WANT to see their children/baby but the mothers, do NOT allow it because its not involving them and they wont get shit out of the father visiting/being around the child i do NOT see any reason why to be uptight and a B*tch to the baby father/mother just because things didnt go our way i mean after all it is whats best for THE BABY/CHILDREN not whats best for US! | |
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| I totally agree!
Posted: 7/28/2006 3:57:56 AM | Broken Wings, I read your profile, and I'm just going to assume that it's recent
when your child comes up to you in a decade or two (or sooner) and asks you why you didn't do everything in your power to ensure that his/her father was more than a sperm donor, come talk to the rest of us. just b/c a woman wants the man that helped create the life to provide for that child doesn't make them conniving b*tches ~ it makes them good moms.
once you're really out on your own w/ your child, you'll see things differently. while you sacrifice and work two jobs to feed, clothe, educate, and maintain the health of your child, you'll understand what it is that the debate is about. there's more to being a parent than just showing up for a visit once every two weeks | |
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