| I totally agree!
Posted: 7/28/2006 4:11:44 AM | My son is going know the truth about his dad wich is his dad IS in our lives and DOES love/care about him i know my son dad would never harm him much less walk out on us i mean we been through to much hell and neither of us are, the type just up N walk out im NOT saying yall are ****es because yall want the father to help im just saying there are alot of FATHERS who do everything/anything in their power to make sure their child is happy and alot of women does everything in her power to see it NOT happend.
I can ONLY speak on my part but i know alot of fathers who are a better parent than the mom and is around alot often than the mom and he NEVER gets see his child and yes there is more to being a parent than just showing up, for a visit once every two weeks but some of yall make it seem like all fathers do these things and that all mothers do it aswell when that is NOT true NOT every father/mother just runs out on their child! | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/28/2006 6:28:29 AM | spider... you're missing my point entirely. whether a "dead beat" dad like my son's father is a violent, drug and alcohol abuser or a "dead beat" like my father who simply chose to turn his back on his first three children, a "dead beat" is a "dead beat". my son's father could have come around for the first, most important, years of my son's life but it was my responsibility to protect my son and i from his father... so even when he wasn't in jail, he had no choice in the matter as long as i had anything to do with that decision.
it just so happens this forum has nothing to do with men who DO want to care for and support their children.
it has everything to do with situations like mine, those before me and those who continue to come behind me. i happened to draw the short straw in the "father" supply this world had to offer and so did my mom. my father was a peach compared to my son's father but that doesn't take away the fact that what he did was JUST AS, if not more detrimental, to me, my other siblings and our mothers. my biological father happens to be the poster child for "dead beat" dads. he has no excuse for what he did to any of us... there are three children, and three mothers out in this world that have scars that run deep because of that man's choice to be a "dead beat" dad. at least my son's father is filled with character flaws that gave me no other choice but to run for the hills. his character flaws made it real easy for me to keep him away from my only child. my father, on the other hand, had no excuse.
i chose to raise my son to be responsible, take responsibility for his actions, he's seen the reprocussions of life as a single parent, has no intention of ever going down that road in life... so the "dead beat eppidemic" ends with his father.
as i said before... if you're not a "dead beat" parent... this forum does not pertain to you. | |
|
| |
| hello darling
Posted: 7/28/2006 6:34:22 AM | It was very pleasant for me to consider your profile i know You are that beauitful, confident, romantic, interesting, accomplished lady who will concur my heart forever. That beauitful, confident, romantic, interesting, accomplished lady who knows what she wants in life. My wish is to create a union that is happy, healthy and fun. I believe I know how to make it work and I figured out the secrets theoretically speaking. I’m blessed with great genes and have a desire to pass it on to the next generation. Now the challenge is to find that ideal match to fall in love with and test those secrets.if you believe in your words i do love, do you need a man to give you attension and tenderness?can you promise never to hurt my feelings when we become lovers?i have a sense of humour ,My hobbies are music,sport, etc ,would you mind contacting me on lovecare202at yahoodotcom or lovecare202 msn same and i will send you my pic,Hope to hear from you soon.
Roy.xx | |
|
| hello darling
Posted: 7/28/2006 6:36:25 AM | It was very pleasant for me to consider your profile i know You are that beauitful, confident, romantic, interesting, accomplished lady who will concur my heart forever. That beauitful, confident, romantic, interesting, accomplished lady who knows what she wants in life. My wish is to create a union that is happy, healthy and fun. I believe I know how to make it work and I figured out the secrets theoretically speaking. I’m blessed with great genes and have a desire to pass it on to the next generation. Now the challenge is to find that ideal match to fall in love with and test those secrets.if you believe in your words i do love, do you need a man to give you attension and tenderness?can you promise never to hurt my feelings when we become lovers?i have a sense of humour ,My hobbies are music,sport, etc ,would you mind contacting me on lovecare202at yahoodotcom or lovecare202 msn same and i will send you my pic,Hope to hear from you soon.
Roy.xxx | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/28/2006 8:24:50 AM | whosyourbadkitty:
Actually this forum does pretain to me... I to am a Single Parent. I have a 6yr Autistic Son who's mom has decided that following some guy to Ireland is more important then trying to be around for him.
She offers no support... beyond the occasional call here and there to see how he is doing.
But where I take offence is first at the notion this is some kind of "Epidemic" and secondly this is the largest problem facing our children.
Also beyond that I take offence to the notion that Men somehow have it easier in this world then women do when it comes to children, and attempting to raide them. Because I can tell you in some aspects ya.. we do... but in others no we don't... Over all Single Dads have a few extra hoops to jump through that you as a Single Mom don't.
And by hoops I'm relating to everything such attempting to get help from the Gov if needed.. as describe in a previous post about my experience... And also the extra hoops in society...
By that I mean simply that when walking into a situation, my son in tote.. and people ask a few questions it requires a whole well prepare speech to for people to understand the situation.
Where I've seen single Mom's walk into the same situation and not have to say a word. The most is of Dad is no where to be seen... end of story.. And no more is asked because they don't want to offend her feelings... In some ways Single Fathers are almost like a Road Side attraction.
One of my major points here is that women also bare some responsibility... You become Prego... Tell the prospective father... He splits... Maybe it might time to consider abortion. Religion, emotions, personal view, all need to be taken out of the equation. Remember this is about the child... not you...
I'm tired of women simply using the excuse "Oh I could never think of doing that.. I love this child to much for that... Oh my religion doesn't allow it..." And then spend the next lifetime being bitter because the man they decided to sleep with doesn't have the same feelings...
One of the other things that gets me going... are men who refuse to use protection and are shocked that a child was created... I do fully understand that both parties play a role in the creation of a child.. I took Biology.
However one conception has occured, there are 2 different ways to stop your responsibility of being a parent... 1st is Abortion... 2nd is adoption. Both perfectly legal in this country...
If you are attempting to bring a child in to an evironment, knowingly, without both parents activily involved... I think you as the mom also bear some responsibilty of the precieved "Epicdemic" bringing this child forth. And can't really complain to much about dad not being around because you knew from the get go he wasn't.
And again this notion of locking NCP's in jail for failing to comply with what you want them to do makes no sense... It's essentially punshing them for not falling in line with your expectations.
I know of plenty of NCP's who would love to be there for their children, but mom has made the whole situation a living nightmare because she wants to get together with another man... and wants the Ex totally out of the picture...
The woman starts to use the train of thought that this new man will become dad for the child.. and doesn't want confuse the child by allowing the NCP see the child every other weekend.
Or Mom is just so pissed off that Dad cheated on her... before or after the birth of the child.. she gets this notion that he is a an evil person. And then starts use that notion is the determination of ensuring that dad never sees the child because they don't want to expose the child to an evil man.
There are many reasons why an NCP may have not have contact with his/her child. But untill you hear both sides in every case it's not really fair to say that person is a Dead Beat... Remember you slept with them. So what does that say about you. | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/28/2006 10:29:34 AM | | what do you do about dead beat moms i have an 11 year old son that his mom thinks paying 100 dalods a mounth is rong she shoud not have to pay any do to me having are son and all her rights are taken do to her boy friend and her was she left him and told him he can not come see her do to her boy friend hates kids and she had to make a chose kids or him she chose him and told are son by she would see him from time to time and never looked back i have had are son for over 2 years now yes we do ok and when she dose send mony i give it to him to get thing he wants or i save it for crismus and put from mom to him | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/28/2006 10:46:26 AM | | the gender doesn't matter ~ ultimately, it's about what's the right thing to do for your child. I know a fair amount of single dads, as well as weekend ones, and they are doing everything they can for their children: not because a court told them to, but b/c at the end of the day, it's always about what's best for their children. | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/28/2006 6:22:11 PM | | The best for the children is to have both parents. Pity that too many women don't think about that before filing for divorce because of trivial reasons. | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/28/2006 6:38:43 PM | | locking the ncp up for not paying child support really does not make adifference one way or the other if they are not paying child support to begin with nobody but the ncp loses anything and that is only if the law can be enforced | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/28/2006 7:10:27 PM | "The best for the children is to have both parents. Pity that too many women don't think about that before filing for divorce because of trivial reasons."
I agree on that because around here there are alot of kids who do not have a mom or do not have a dad and their lives are a liveing nightmare and a total wreck from not haveing both parents but i also SEE that some dads/moms should NOT be allowed to be alone with their children because not every father/mother, is the same and some of them could care less about their child/ren. | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/29/2006 4:54:09 PM | Broken Wings,
If you are sick of seeing deadbeat parent threads then stop replying to them and reading them! Truthfully i am sick of seeing your responces, yes you are right when it comes to the fact that deapbeat parents are male and female and the number may possible be equal. However that is not the topic of the thread and it's seems that you are more interested in pointing out the faults of all single mothers than the topics(yes i have read your other responces to other threads and it's a common theme).
You are a single mom liveing with your parents, yeah to your parents for helping you out but the day you are on your own and fully responsible for yourself and your child i am sure some of the bitterness that has crept into the rest of us will effect you too, so instead of putting men on a pedastle lets here what your solution to this problem would be! | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/29/2006 7:18:52 PM | D.A.N.P
(desprate not picky)
Yes we may live with my mom N dad for now but even if i was out on my own with my son dad i still would NOT change how i feel and i am sorry the way i feel about certain things makes you so pissed off, but you have to realize that i have been on my own on N off for yrs now and this is NOT by choice being here but i would rather be here with my family N son than on street or downing everyone and blameing everyone else for my problems.
Im not at all being rude to YOU or ANYONE else because i do NOT know you or them and i agree deadbeat dads who do NOT give a shit about their child/ren needs to be done something about but why force a woman/man who does not want to have anything to do,
with the child/ren instead of just spending time with the child/ren and NOT worrying about
their mom/dad not wanting a thing to do with them the way i see that is that it is THEIR lost because THEY are the ones who are going be missing out on every single thing that baby/child does in their life and it is because they choose to NOT have a thing to do with their child/ren. | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/30/2006 5:26:10 AM | Pity that too many women don't think about that before filing for divorce because of trivial reasons.
Change that to too many people, dear, not just women. It depends on the parents as to whether it's best to have him/her around the children. I preferred not to have my alcoholic, drug abusing, money stealing ex around my son and me to destroy us. Then there are children who would be better off without EITHER...case in point. My sister has friends who are going through a nasty divorce. She (the wife/mom) is so concerned for her kids that she is staying with a drug dealer. He (husband/dad) is so concerned that he takes off for a week with his buddies KNOWING she just got out of jail and is back with the drug dealer guy. He leaves his kids in her care. To me it sounds like the kids would be better off with the grandparents! | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/30/2006 3:54:09 PM |
The best for the children is to have both parents. Pity that too many women don't think about that before filing for divorce because of trivial reasons.
Well before you say something like that... It all depends on what you call trivial reasons. I mean to some people the idea of their partner cheating is unforgivable... For others.. they can live with it.
And also case and Point... My Parents are divorced.. have been since I was about 12 or so... Let me tell you they get along better now then they ever did when they were together.
I think people really need to take a look in the Mirror and decide full that the person they are going to have child with is the person they want to be involved with for next 20 years... | |
|
| |
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/31/2006 3:56:09 AM | Let's see.
Cheating is not trivial.
Violence is not trivial.
Crime is not trivial.
"I want to find myself" is trivial.
"I can do better" is trivial.
"He was boring" is trivial.
"There was no spark anymore" is trivial.
And I said women, because 80% of times she is the one filing for divorce. And cheating, DV and crime are quoted as reasons for it less than 15% of those times.
So, many of those women who like to claim how great and dedicated mothers are, were perfectly capable of sparing their children the pain of losing a dad, but they chose their own interest instead of their children's. For me, they're as bad as those guys who left. | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/31/2006 4:15:08 AM | "So, many of those women who like to claim how great and dedicated mothers are, were perfectly capable of sparing their children the pain of losing a dad, but they chose their own interest instead of their children's. For me, they're as bad as those guys who left."
Yup i agree with you on that one and its so sad that a child (who has done NOTHING wrong) has to live a lfe without a father just because the mother (some mothers) thinks its best in "their opion" that their child, should not be around their dad all because the dad probly got sick N tired of haveing to carry her while she just laid back and bearly done anything for him.
(now plz do not get me wrong im NOT saying that all women do this but NOT all dads are like some of the things us women have mention and i think we should have better outlook on things and know the person better inside N outside before, we choose to have kids with them i mean alot of things can be stoped before it happends if we just think about it instead of jumping into things and when it ends poorly we want to blame it all on the dads.) | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 8/2/2006 2:05:00 PM | I'm wit cha. I had a dead beat Mom but lucky enough I had a wonderfull father.Who knew I would bear a child with a dead beat dad. Personally i beleive men and women are alike in alot of ways and HELL YEAH they should be treated the same by the system.We can do eachothers jobs and etc. why be diff in that aspect. | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 8/2/2006 2:07:53 PM | | The sad truth is that alot of moms and dads don't get married ne more before they have children. A fact of life now in the world so we can't bash just because we believe diff. | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 8/2/2006 3:00:33 PM | SPIDER HAM you said.................
... Actually this forum does pretain to me... I to am a Single Parent. I have a 6yr Autistic Son who's mom has decided that following some guy to Ireland is more important then trying to be around for him.
She offers no support... beyond the occasional call here and there to see how he is doing.
God bless you, your child has a wonderful father, he will when older appreciate the fact that you stood with him while his mom did not, I dont know how any parent can walk away from a child, what goes around comes around this woman will never have any luck, it will come back on her in some way!! | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 8/4/2006 9:19:08 AM | I have two comments on this:
1)
ACCEPTABLE
It depends on why the deadbeat is a deadbeat- for example one of my sons fathers has addiction problems therefore i have made it clear to him that he is to not be involved with our child
2)
UNACCEPTABLE
If he is a deadbeat due to lack of maturity
IE: My other sons father was involved with my son from birth yet after our break up he never resolved his feelings for me and consequently disappeared a few times, and he had now been MIA for 1 month
In both cases,the single parent with the child should not speak negatively about the missing parent or blame child for what happened because it may negatively impact the childs self-concept or how they see the world. Furthermore, we should look at the bright side - we can raise our children by ourself!! | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 8/4/2006 8:16:32 PM | | I really take offence to people who use the term " dead beat" and "dad" in the same phrase. What are we teaching our children about Dad's?? I would not associate the word "mom" with anything derogatory. I think perhaps the correct term should be dead beat parent, it is not the fault of all of us responsible Dad's out here that most of the primary income earners were men. It's truly insulting to us "Dad's" that pay big time child support while still looking after our children most of the time. I certainly don't do not condone anyone who is not living up to their responsibilities wrt their children, but don't paint us all with the same brush. My dog does not like it either when people say " lazy as a dog" (^: | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 8/4/2006 11:36:45 PM | | How do I start here? I would like an easy answer also! I have not turned my child's father in for child support because I don't want her wondering where he is all the time if he shows up a few times a year "since I paid for it". He has given her 70 bucks since we split in December of '04. When he did see her, he paid little attention to her and talked more about being with me and how dumb of a person I was for not knowing he's changed (he hasn't) And how everything was him, him, him. I'd rather him just stay away than hurt her... I agree about the term "dead beat parent" bikerboyz, Mom's do the same thing! | |
|
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 8/5/2006 3:30:19 AM | | This is some really ****ed up shit. Women are always talking about child support and deadbeat dads but I think women have a lot to do in this situation. I was this woman 7 years ago and only recently ( ab 4 months ago ) did I get served with court papers. This ****ing c_u_n_t ( and I have referred to a woman with that word maybe twice in my life ) knew all along but for whatever reason did not bring this to my attention. Now that things are not working financially, suddenly child support is needed. Now I dont mind paying child support, but WTF WTF WTF. I am a total stranger to that child and as it is now I live 500 miles away. Never mind I may have to pay back child support in excess of 10,000 dollars. I literally want to murder this woman. I have never been so pissed off in my entire life. I have half a mind to make it as hard as possible for her to see a dime but that means the child suffers for something she ( child ) is not responsible for. | |
|
Home
login 
