| Single moms...
Posted: 8/4/2006 10:52:58 PM | I am not trying to be preachey here or tell anyone how to live, but plenty of people grew up in homes where both parents were there but hated each other (yes I am one of them)
A friend of mine is raising her daughter in an incredibly loving environment by herself and that little girl is the sweetest thing.
Two parents, one, or none, a child needs someone to love them, support them and be there for them.
If a woman wants to have a baby because she has enough love in her to give and is willing to commit to it then there is no need for the man. The same goes for any guy brave enough to be a single father.
To say people children need both parents there obviously did not grow up in a household where the parents stayed together for the "kids sake". Children are smart, they see this.
Yes in a perfect world everyone would grow up in a loving home with both parents together, but unfortunately we do not live in Never Never Land, and sometimes relationships do not work, and sometimes potentially GREAT parents cannot find a suitable mate.
Given a choice I would rather see a child with one parent who loves him/her, rather than two that hate each other. | |
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| Single moms...
Posted: 8/4/2006 11:31:46 PM | If that woman wanted to go out and have a child and raise that child on her own, thats her business. Would it be easier if she had a man who loved her and a father to help her raise the child? Of course, but if she feels she can do it herself and commits herself to that, there is no reason in today's world why she can't do exactly that. I agree with the folks that said its better for the kid to have one parent in their life that loves them, then have two parents that are staying together for the child's sake that are constantly arguing and fighting. Been there, as both the child and the parent, and its a bad situation.
My only qualm is, how did she conceive this baby? If she got pregnant without telling the guy of her intentions, thats dishonest. Or was she trying to trap a guy by getting pregnant? She may decide she doesn't want anything to do with him now, but she could change her mind later, and it would be a surprise to the guy, and thats unfair should she come looking for financial help (I'm talking if she deliberately planned it without his knowledge, not if it was an accident on both parts). Plus, the father has the right to choose if he wants to be involved in the child's life in such a situation, even if he's not with the mother romantically. I'm hoping it was a case of her wanting a baby and using a sperm bank, but I'm guessing probably not. | |
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| Single moms...
Posted: 8/5/2006 1:58:00 AM | Tallboy has proven why some kids are better off without thier dad and why it is sometimes better to have just one dedicated mom......he brags in his profile that he is a non-custodial parent.....not all that attractive.his whole profile reeks of immaturity.
" Look at me ,I have no responsability for my kids anymore"........you sound like a great catch Tallboy......why don't you quit your job too and join the circus.
I bet your ex and your kids are happier now then before the breakup | |
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| Single moms...
Posted: 11/15/2007 4:12:56 PM | | I believe that children need both parents involved in their life no matter the relationship status among parents... | |
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| Single moms...
Posted: 11/15/2007 5:23:44 PM | | Thank you for the thoughtful postings. I agree with you that it is important for both parents to be an essential part of their childrens lives. My husband died when my son was 6. They shared a very special bond that I'm sure would have grown deeper with the years, into one of great respect and friendship, had my husband lived. I only hope that whereever my husband is, he knows that our son loved him unconditionally. He's grown into a wonderful young man who I love deeply, and the loving foundation provided to our son by my husband in his formative years is the basis for the wonderful person he's become today. I still value the lessons my husband and I shared together as we taught our son: always be patient, always respect yourself and those around you, trust in your family, have faith in your children and teach them they are valuable, wonderful and loved, always. | |
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| Single moms...
Posted: 11/16/2007 2:54:52 AM | | I think it's a great idea. If a woman wants a baby and has the means to support and take care of it, good for her. If you want to preach about kids need two parents, then preach to all those dads that got someone knocked up and ran away and don't pay for their kids or visit them. | |
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| Single moms...
Posted: 11/16/2007 11:07:35 AM | One of the happiest days in my life..when I saved my kids from a mutant moth flying through my house..for that moment I was there hero..they shouted mommy your the daddy!!! It made me feel awesome. They understood at that moment that though we might not be thought of as a normal(tongue in cheek) family..there mom is doing her best to be a good mother and a good father. It is so pathetic and silly to me when I see broad brushstrokes generalizing about humankind. Every situation is different.
I am not resentful, I am proud. My kids are happy and they do not feel lack . They are loved and cared for. Many single mothers and fathers are doing a what comes naturally to them..being a parent. There are always those who are not happy in there situation whatever it might be...they should work to change it. For those of us who are proud to be who we are as single parents we might bring someone into the fold but they obviously would be very special and would need more then just there wallet to blend (so sad that this thought is out there. Understand it is on many sides but it is still sad) Those men or women who come to be a loving , good parent figure for children not of there blood are special. Like adoption perhaps.When you have love to give and you feel destined to be a parent not overwhelmed or burdened but embracing your life and your children's all can be right in the life of a family..Family is family no matter how many adults are in the house. It is what you make it. | |
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| Single moms...
Posted: 6/15/2009 9:50:22 AM | I believe the breakdown in society and the high rise in youth crime can be traced back to single parent families. Yes i think that people should not prolong a loveless relationship but a child should be cared for and loved by both parents. And all these people who have babies just so they can live on our ever groing wellfare state is appaling there are some very selfish people out there who only think of what they can gain by having a baby and not the welfare of the child. | |
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| Single moms...
Posted: 6/15/2009 12:46:52 PM | | I know some women out there don't want to hear this but there are some things only a father can impart to his child. | |
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| Single moms...
Posted: 6/15/2009 4:06:07 PM | | Hmm, my daughters father is choosing not to be in her life. My daughter is 2.5 and have never seen her father. Is she lacking something? How can you miss something youv never had and known about? | |
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| Single moms...
Posted: 10/6/2009 5:39:11 PM | really you need sperm, egg and a petri dish.
twenty years from now you will be able to go order a kid like you do McDonalds value meals. | |
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| Single moms...
Posted: 10/7/2009 1:20:32 AM | | Where did the "delete thread" get off to?? | |
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| Single moms...
Posted: 10/8/2009 6:07:54 AM | Oh yea... of course ... who needs a father...rightttt!
See where it took us as a society and it's going to get worse.... so many clueless idiots breeding... yikes! | |
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| Single moms...
Posted: 10/8/2009 7:06:47 AM | Don't think dad's have a serious impact? Children from fatherless homes.
63% of youth suicides. (Source: US Dept. of Health & Human Services, Bureau of the Census).
71% of pregnant teenagers. (Source: US Dept. of Health & Human Services)
90% of all homeless and runaway children.
70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (Source: U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report, Sept 1988)
85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders. (Source: Center for Disease Control).
80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger. (Source: Criminal Justice & Behavior, Vol. 14, p. 403-26, 1978).
71% of all high school dropouts. (Source: National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools).
75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers. (Source: Rainbows for all God`s Children).
85% of all youths sitting in prisons. (Source: Fulton Co. Georgia jail populations, Texas Dept. of Corrections 1992). | |
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| Single moms...
Posted: 10/9/2009 9:14:34 PM | | How is it "selfish?" Let's be honest: even in most two-parent families, the vast majority of child-rearing is done by women. Yes, there are expcetions. But not many. | |
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| Single moms...
Posted: 10/11/2009 6:24:18 PM | The question is whether it is selfish or not. I think it is. Yes, it is the woman's choice. As a matter of fact, even when 2 people are together and the woman gets pregnant, maybe by accident..in any case unplanned by the man... it is still her choice. EVEN if the guy doesn't want it, he'll be stuck (hopefully the laws will change on that issue some time).
Actually, by making the choice to have sex, protection or not, you have to be willing to accept responsibility if the woman becomes pregnant. No birth control method is 100% effective, and people need to have the maturity to accept that if they choose to have sex, they have to be prepared to accept the consequences. | |
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| Single moms...
Posted: 10/11/2009 6:28:50 PM | I believe the breakdown in society and the high rise in youth crime can be traced back to single parent families.
Ummmm, what about all the negative impact from society and what our kids are exposed to from the media, movies, TV etc......I happen to be a single parent, and my kids have turned out fabulous. To give the statistics and blame single parent families for the problems we have is a travesty. I think it depends on the involvement of the parent raising the child in the single parent home. | |
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