| Why do men AND WOMEN do the diappearing act?
Posted: 12/2/2006 5:54:07 AM | The reason is that Women like people and men like things. Men can't muit task, When men hear women talk it sounds like blah blah blah,
Women just don't know what to say
Men don't want to hear what they say
So they both use the (OUT OF SITE out of mind)
When you want to break up with someone you don't have sex with them do you?
It all boils down to nobody wants to hurt anybody, be ye male or female | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 12/2/2006 6:05:00 AM |
(1) They change thier minds, or
(2) They find something in you the don't like, or
(3) They find somebody they like more
And....
(4) They are spineless, inconsiderate lizards with no concern for other people's time or feelings, with whom you are better off without anyway. Don't shed any tears over jerks like this.
And yes, women do it too. I've had them do it to me so many times I could spit, but they aren't worth the saliva.
I agree with one through three... four sounds like your just bitter. | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 12/2/2006 6:27:17 AM | I see it as she just wants an honest answer to an honest question. She was specific so there wasn't any confusion.
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My guess: He changed his mind.
Why not take your time - lucky, and be careful with your heart, body and soul.
What's the rush anyway.
Best Wishes, Kath | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 12/2/2006 6:32:04 AM | | Oh yeah! I've had at least 5 women this year alone disappear on me and I did nothing to deserve it! I do nothing but treat a lady with respect and love and they still disappear on me. Based on what I see, women these days want to be with losers and abusers. They are so attracted to guys like that. I personally know 4 women I work with who are with abusers and they stay in the relationship! Can any of you women answer why you go for average looking guys that end up being abusive and you stay with them? | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 12/2/2006 6:47:11 AM | | Probably a stupid, undying hope they can change their abusive man whom they have invested a lot of time and energy trying to please them. Don't have a good sense of themselves and their own worth. Could be the guy is threatening and dangerous and the woman has to find a strategic way to end it, somehow. Who knows.... | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 12/2/2006 6:53:17 AM | I see it as she just wants an honest answer to an honest question. She was specific so there wasn't any confusion.
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My guess: He changed his mind.
Why not take your time - and be careful with your heart, body and soul.
What's the rush anyway.
Best Wishes, Kath | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 12/2/2006 6:59:13 AM | | Oh yeahh...that's about as good a guess as anyones..I dated a very suitable widower (guess that's what you'd call him since his wife had passed away and he raised a daughter from age 9) for 5 years. He spent lots of money, took me to the very finest places and vowed his love and affection. However, he'd always call and plan things very in advance but every 4 or 5 months he'd "be gone" for a few weeks at a time..where I don't know and now I really don't care. We never spent holidays together even though I knew his family. It didn't really bother me at the time because I was close to my son and my family and had other guys wanting to go out as well. We were really good friends but he was probably having a side dish (which was no loss on my account.) | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 12/2/2006 7:04:21 AM | I have done a "Houdini" in the past and just disappeared, but I had a good reason for wanting to be invisible. Once it was because the woman exhibited serious emotional difficulties very early in the relationship (crying and sobbing over a song on the radio) and another time when one of the woman's friends took me aside and told me I would be killed if I "broke so and ao's heart like the last guy".
Anyway, I find it best to fly under the radar and meet people after a long period of introduction, and an even longer period of getting to know and trust them. So that's it, I've done it twice. Not too bad I think. | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 12/2/2006 8:47:34 AM | I believe it stems from when we were growing up under (Mothers rule), I mean think about it we grow up having to do this, do that, don't, stop, Blah Blah Blah...And now here we are trying to forge some type of relationship again w/ a woman (on our own). Well as you women all think most men's attention span is somewhat selective. But actually we just pretty much disconnect after so long. So in theory we really don't have the capacity to stick with it, unless a woman is there to force the issue. To some degree.....Hey some of us don't mind, Remember? We were trained from birth! I personally love it....Of course Ive been well trained the only reason I'm single again is she left me for a Bad Boy...... | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 12/2/2006 11:49:12 AM | Well to put it bluntly ladies,Men do the disappearing act because they simply do not want to hurt your feelings,I mean think about it? if you are only dating? Did you make a mutual agreement to commit to each other? I mean a couple weeks? I really dont care if a girl doesnt call me ever again,I get the hint and move on,I really dont want to know why? do you? Usually people with low self esteem want to know why? Be a better person and move on.date more than one person until you find the right one...;) | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 12/2/2006 11:57:36 AM | I can tell you why some men might disappear under certain circumstances:
1. You don't return a call. Of course this can be caused because their message didn't get through to you. Technology isn't perfect, and sometimes e-mail gets lost in junk mail filters by mistake. Phone messages can be disconnected, a wrong number is dialed, and a mistaken assumption is made that the communication was sent, but never received. Chat software clients don't all leave messages when they aren't online as well. It is a good idea if one party does not contact the other in let's say a week, and no explicit instruction might have been given to the contrary for someone to break to lack of contact.
2. You have told him you are seeing another man for some event, rather than see him. He may assume you have a relationship with that other man, and not know how to ask you without sounding awkward whether this person is just a friend, or a real personal relationship. He may be monogamist by nature, and not want to intrude on a second relationship, unless you give the go ahead and tell him you are inviting both him and the other man to the same event.
Both are signs of assumptions being made, but not communicated. Unless both parties make it clear what their intentions are, assumptions can be made which break relationships apart.
If you are straight forward and honest about your intentions, and really want to be with him, make it clear by your actions that you do. | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 12/2/2006 11:58:14 AM | | OMG this happened to me too, recently, and I don't understand it either. Guy or girl, there's no good reason why you should just stop talking to someone, it's cowardly is what it is. If you don't have enough balls to say it to my face you're not worth it anyway. It was disappointing to say the least and we hadn't been dating long but I liked him alot. There's just no reason for it. Honesty is always the best policy. I mean, yeah, I'm going to be upset if you break up with me but I'd respect the fact that you were man enough to say it to my face. Not all guys are like this, thank god, and the ones that are aren't worth your time or thoughts. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one this has happened to! lol | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 12/2/2006 11:59:13 AM | | Men who do the disappearing act think they are doing us a favor. Protecting us from pain of rejection. They don't consider disappearing act as rejection at all. Just my thought and nobody else. | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 12/2/2006 12:33:59 PM | ^^^^^^
Some of us might think or just rationalize to ourselves we are doing the woman a favour, but I admit I'm just doing myself a favour. Other than the two times I disappeared, I always say goodbye, always by telling the truth " I just don't see this working out between us". If she's needs more than that, I'll do my best to explain in a way that wont hurt or cause pain. Let's face it, if a break up after only a few weeks causes pain and both parties are not deceptive, one of them has a big problem. | |
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TNMyst
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Joined: 9/3/2006
Msg: 243 | |
| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 12/2/2006 1:47:24 PM | "Can any of you women answer why you go for average looking guys that end up being abusive and you stay with them?"
Heck I love to have a avg guy but avg guys don't like me, go figure! I say whats on my mind alot and guys I know don't know how to take that, I think. My friend tells me i'm intimidating but I work with the public everyday at my job (hardware store, only woman there) and laugh and cut up with men all day. I might be overwhelming I guess with my jokes and stuff.
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 12/2/2006 1:54:57 PM | A MAN WITH A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR ..i like that ..its rare to find i like this response..i think men do this because they can ...as women i think we have let them do this for far to long and also men who do this are spineless cowards  | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 12/2/2006 2:00:12 PM | | but whats wrong with having common courtesy to at least say im not interested ..heck they could even leave a text message or a im thats says look we had a great time but i dont think the chemisty is there? when you make a doctors appointment dont you call and cancell if you cant make it? it sounds like this guy has a commitment phobia | |
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| Why do men do the disappearing act?
Posted: 12/2/2006 2:26:50 PM | 1. You're a constant "put down" when you're with him.
2. When you drive it's a life threatening experience.
3. You only do what your time permits and don't really care about his needs and wants.
4. You constantly talk about your ex and how cruel the relationship was.
5. You never think of him as human, like sending him a feel better card when his dog dies.
6. You're so self-centered and selfish he gets nauseated just thinking about the next time he will see you so he simply forgets you exist.
img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_016.gif border=0> | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 12/2/2006 2:39:51 PM |
but whats wrong with having common courtesy to at least say im not interested
I ask that often myself with the 60 some e-mails that I've gotten absolutely no reply to when I've written women. The few times I try to follow up, they suggest I can't take rejection. Well, if it really was a rejection, why didn't they write? I thought maybe my e-mail was lost in the shuffle or something. It does appear the common courtesy has gone both for some men and some women. If you want to change that it seems you have to start an early age teaching common courtesy.
I will say this, it has been pointed out in other threads, those who do say they are not interested often also get hounded by the lonely who don't listen to the "I'm not interested" bit which doesn't help those of us who desire courtesy one bit. That is until they put them on ignore.
Yes, sometimes I wish their was a penalty for the non-responders.
Of course if you aren't in the same metropolitan area, don't be surprised to get no response either. Some even lie about their location in the profile. You soon find they are actually in some foreign country relative to you!
Good luck! | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 12/3/2006 7:41:05 AM | They disappear for many reasons. Not working. Someone else grabs their attention. They aren't into you enough and don't wanna hurt your feelings. Avoidance - better to disappear then be up front. Countless reasons. I've only had it happen to me twice. Both times, they called me months later and apologized because they had met someone else and didn't wanna hurt my feelings because I was such a wonderful woman. Both times, they called back single. The women they had left me for, dumped them and were regretting the decision.
Opps - to late! I never go back .... | |
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