| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 1/8/2007 9:54:22 AM | Ya know what? For whatever reason they do it...it is done! Yeah, it feels crappy and it hurts your feelings but is it really worth it? If you think about it, long and hard, and weigh it all out...is it not just better to take out the trash once in awhile than to leave it stinking up your life?  | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 1/8/2007 9:58:04 AM | | juzlookin35..."what is a bunny boiler?"...watch Fatal Attraction with Michael Douglas and Glenn Close...she boils his bunny(yes a real one)...thats where it comes from...lol | |
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mykewl
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Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 328 | |
| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 1/8/2007 10:06:37 AM | I think I would be willing to bet that there were signs that it was going to happen. I think peeps just need to become more aware of the signs, whatever they may be. I get feelings, something just ain't right! And know what, usually the feeling is right.  | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 1/8/2007 6:36:09 PM | | Wow, do I wish I knew the answer to this one...and yes, I'm sure there are women who pull the disappearing act as well. A short, honest message just saying that you just don't feel a connection would be sufficient...but when you just disappear, you leave someone wondering what in the world they did wrong....everything was going well, plans were being made for future dates and then whoosh...gone like a thief in the night. Guess that's okay though...if they didn't have the patience or interest to really get to know me, it's their loss and I'll keep "kissin' frogs" until I find that prince (ok, so maybe not a prince, but a real man with a great personality who can't think of anything he'd rather do than to spend time with me). | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 1/9/2007 8:08:21 AM | Good question Im in the same boat....met a guy a electrician. We meet through friends and
ended up seeing each other, he ask me for my ph number and he rang several times. So we
planned to met again an again... cooked dinner together and got on really well. I called him
twice at the time i knew him...to my surprise his mother answered the phone and gave me
the 'getlost' message never heard from him since funny as it sounds i think what a gutless
idiot and laugh about it now, maybe hes still up on the power pole or i don't have enuff spark
lol. ive moved on. | |
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Smjle
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Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 332 | |
| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 1/11/2007 2:46:33 PM |
A short, honest message just saying that you just don't feel a connection would be sufficient...but when you just disappear, you leave someone wondering what in the world they did wrong....
That is not so. In the thread "need your help" a man essentially did that but the woman still wanted to know why. Actually, the only time a woman care is when she is interested in a relationship with the man. If she is not interested and the man disappears, the thought never occurs to her. She is just glad he is gone and out of her life.
Between this and that thread I've figured out that it is a no win situation for a man. He has three choices and regardless the woman is going to complain.
1. If he says "I don't feel a connection" or something similar, or if he tell her some little white lie to try to protect her feelings, the woman is going to ask "Why not" and try to get him to change his mind or she will get upset.
2. If he tells the truth so the woman will understand, she will start crying or go ballistic.
3. If he just disappears, the woman will still be unhappy and complain. Since it is a no win situation, to avoid the confrontation and hassle, if a man can he should just disappear. | |
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| Why do men do the disappearing act?
Posted: 1/11/2007 4:55:55 PM | because they aren't interested in anything further with the woman, just as some women might do...
there are as many answers to this query as there are people, no matter their gender.
*edit* i felt compelled to correct the subject line, in so many pages of responses i note with little interest that no one did so earlier. it was written as "why do men do the diappearing act; which kind of reminded me of "diapering act"... sorry, couldn't resist. | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 1/11/2007 5:51:33 PM | I have experienced this recently and quite frankly there were no signs. We had a wonderful first date, he called to leave a sweet voicemail as I was driving home from the date. He phoned on that Monday to wish me a good day at work.
We talked many times on the phone, had another date, it went well, poof gone.
When I finally talked to him, the short version of the story is that he was spooked by the feelings he had after our date. He was used to having a couple dates and the woman disappearing, this time he claimed he felt differently and was very interested. Poof gone... can't figure it out. He wouldn't tell me so I move on. Though in the back of my mind I do wonder if I did something wrong.  | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 2/11/2007 12:26:54 PM | | I hate that. They should at least say SOMETHING before they disappear instead of acting like everything's just fine. This has happened to me many times. People like this should also be ran over and dumped off a cliff. | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 2/11/2007 1:00:35 PM | It's not a man or a woman thing it's a character thing.
They are not mature, caring or responsible enough to consider someone else's feelings when suddenly vanishing without so much as a simple explanation. | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 2/11/2007 1:58:02 PM | | I think that the man or women are only seeing you till something better comes along...plus they have no balls!!! | |
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laus
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Joined: 12/23/2006
Msg: 338 | |
| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 2/18/2007 11:00:22 AM | Men? Women can disappear as well as any gender. Especially on here. I'm still figuring things out so I'm not sure why, but it seems like it's pretty common to exchange a few messages with someone and then never hear from them again. What gives? I've been told by a few people that they get inundated with mail and can't keep up. I guess if that's the reason, I can understand. But, I gotta say, it bothers me. I try to respond to everyone that has taken the time to write me, even if it's just, 'thanks, but I don't think you're my type'.
As far as people disappearing after you've met goes, you're all right. That displays very poor character, man or woman. | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 2/18/2007 2:30:24 PM | Well, I think I have this one figured out.
Men are very aware of the fact that it is much easier for a gal to find a guy that is attracted to her and it is much easier for the gal to get what they want when they want it.
Guys that don’t end meaningful or meaningless relationships with an explanation are simply keeping the doors open. They can usually come up with some line of crap to convince a gal that likes him to date him again or to take him back.
Gals, they are easy to figure out.
1.) If a guy likes you he will call, email, write or come see you.
2.) If he is just keeping you as a stand by, then he will contact you every now and then to remind you that he is still around.
3.) If he doesn’t like you at all he will tell you and/or you won’t go on a second date.
Don’t fall into the trap. Move on and find someone that does like you. | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 2/18/2007 2:36:31 PM | | Consider yourself lucky they are gone , anyone as spineless as that is not worth your time explaining . Both men and woman who "dissappear" obviously werent interested in the first place , I like to call them "players" and there are many everywhere . Be more selective , Learn the game and you will spot it a mile away ..Good Luck in the sea of sharks ...Enchanted... | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 2/18/2007 2:47:07 PM | I agree with this one...
They, men and women, are scared and find it easier to just run away then face the awkwardness, hurt and disappointment. Its not just men... | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 2/18/2007 2:52:00 PM | | i know what you mean the same thing has happened to me we only been meeting up for last 6 weeks but been chattin for 6 months and wham hes gone no e mails or anything men must get a kick out of it thats all i can say it hurts but i know im better off without him just stops me trustin men | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 2/18/2007 5:56:49 PM | It is certainly NOT a male only thing. It's happened to me on a number of occasions in fact. The one thing I've learned in my time online dating is that by and large, traditional roles are out the window. Frankly, I like that. I don't want a damsel in distress roped to the rails; I want a confident woman able to make her own decisions and not needing me to act as her activity coordinator. That said, there are still a LOT of women out there that seem to think that guys are the only ones that need to show interest. I think most of the time I know after the first meeting if there will be a second meeting. However, beyond that I think it's a 50/50 proposition. A guy wants to feel wanted and desired too you know ladies. Why am I the one ALWAYS expected to call, email or text message? It just doesn't fit with the modern mold. Long story short, both men and women are capable of disappearing. I think by and large if the chemistry is there, it won't happen. Sometimes, things just fizzle out. It's too bad. And while we're shattering myths, I encourage everyone to read a little article that pretty much debunks the notion that men are commitment-phobes. What a load of crap! If that's you're experience, I'm sorry but your shallow-based choices must be at least a part of the problem. The article, although very simply written, has some points to ponder to be sure. Enjoy!
D. | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 2/18/2007 7:05:07 PM | | women play the same games.! simply there not interested most liklely their horny and you didnt put out! or you did and theve moved on .I dont like it anymore than you do ! | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 2/18/2007 7:16:04 PM | Bunny Boiler
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
Look up bunny boiler in Wiktionary, the free dictionary.A Bunny Boiler is a pejorative term for an obsessive and dangerous individual, most commonly referring to a jilted lover who is stalking the person who has spurned her or him.
Origins
The phrase derives from a famous scene in the 1987 film Fatal Attraction where a scorned woman (played by Glenn Close), seeking revenge on her ex-lover (played by Michael Douglas), boils his daughter's pet rabbit in a pot.
Uses in popular culture
Michelle Bass, from the fifth series of the UK's Big Brother, was labelled a 'bunny boiler' for the way she acted towards fellow contestant Stuart [1].
In the sixth series, Craig Coates attracted the label for the way he was perceived to act towards Anthony [2].
In the seventh series, Lisa Huo was labelled a 'bunny boiler' in response to her relationship with Pete Bennett. [3]
'Bunny Boiler' is also the name of one of the characters on the UK Television show Balls Of Steel, played by Thaila Zucchi.
The scene from the film Fatal Attraction where Glenn Close boils the bunny was parodied in the last episode of the second series of the UK television show Spaced.
In the South Park episode Chef Aid Mr. Garrison finds Mr. Twig in a pot being boiled, in the same way as the bunny in Fatal Attraction. The act was done by the recently returned Mr. Hat.
In Smallville, season four, episode "Pariah," Lois Lane says the police are interested in Alicia in a "bunny-boiler" sort of way.
Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bunny_Boiler"
Category: Pejorative terms for people | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 2/18/2007 7:48:30 PM | Have you ever read the book " He is just not into You "?
Maybe you should as it gives alot of insite to this issue.
One guy told me when I asked him that question,,,,,,well, with a school of fish out there you can try them all.
I would like to think they do it because they are scared of the new feelings of actually maybe starting to care for someone other than themselves. That makes then think they will loose their freedom which alot of men think makes them alive, especially the ones that ride Harley motocycles. Another thought I had was that if you do not give in to their advances the first time you go out they feel hurt and there ego is wounded. I could try to anylize this all day but my therapist told me point blank,,,,,that is what men do, they just disappear,,,,,,,
Most women feel hurt because it brings up old feelings of abandonment and loss from when they were little children and do not take it well but that is the chance you will have to take if you want to put yourself out of a dating site.You win some and you loose some, It is as simple as that.
 This is what I have to say to all you men who do that. | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 3/7/2007 11:37:32 AM | Why do men do the disappearing act? Unfortunately this is one of those issues women think that only men do. I'm going to do offer one very unique perspective for you by asking this very interesting question...
"Why do women do the disappearing act?"
Truly, I am the kind of person who is open and comprehends the limitations of life and internet dating. I am open to know, without conflict, that you would prefer not to meet/date/ or talk. In fact, I would respect your preferance wholely if that were the case.
I'm afraid disappearing is a people thing. | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 3/7/2007 12:41:23 PM | Well the disappearing thing is a rude thing...period! There is no excuse for this...it takes 2 seconds to write an email, send a text, or pick up the phone...it is a matter of being considerate.
Cheers
Sue  | |
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