kk42
|
Joined: 1/18/2006
Msg: 351 | |
| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 3/7/2007 12:56:06 PM | | I think both men and woman do it. I wish it didn't happen but it does. Some people have a problem with confrontation or they do not want to cause hurt feelings. I think the truth may hurt but alot less than a lie or an ending left unfinished. | |
|
| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 3/7/2007 5:04:47 PM | i don't know about guys but i'm known to pfft. it's because i'm a coward and hate confrontation or saying something to hurt peoples feelings. i know pffting hurts feelings too but i get to hide from it. cowards. that's what pffters are.  but hey it's something to work on right. | |
|
| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 3/7/2007 6:35:16 PM | Because it is easy and they are chicken shits.
So they can keep the option open of contacting you 6mths down the road as if nothing ever happened. If they have the "talk", then they know the door will be closed. | |
|
| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 3/7/2007 8:00:25 PM | | Better to have it happen whist dating than in a relationship... It's a cowardly thing for both sexes...they're too afraid to just say that they're not interested..so they stop calling, or writing, or whatever and distance themselves then disappear altogether. What is most sad is when you get so use to it that you no longer care if they stick around or not. | |
|
| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 3/7/2007 8:48:32 PM | | Yes this happened to me.....I fell in love and it was mutual...we talked about our future...then I never heard from him again. I would think he had enough respect for me to tell me his true feelings. Put closure to it?? I don't get it?? | |
|
| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 3/7/2007 8:55:36 PM | | I agree, I had something similar happen to me. Men are just wimps and aren't honest enough to come out and say it because they don't realize for the most part women are mature and respect honesty and would rather you say something than just ditch. | |
|
| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 3/10/2007 5:19:16 PM | women do it too come on now, you've never done this??? i've had what seems to be the best relationship ever, and then within the blink of an eye she's gone and with someone else, and worst of all won't explain herself. You know what i do? Cry, go for a run, call up my homies, have some good times, suck it up, and move on. | |
|
| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 3/10/2007 5:37:36 PM | | I have had the same experience with men not telling me this isn't working. I've even emailed and have asked,, What no explanation? Guess not. I've also had them say ,,I'll you and never do. Liars. They must be married! | |
|
| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 3/11/2007 7:55:10 AM | | People do not always say why they dont want to stay in contact (this is associated more often with guys), nor do people say why they are not replying to an email sent (associated with women). Is either that most worse than the other? | |
|
| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 3/11/2007 8:14:42 AM | | The word "c h i c k e n s h i t" comes to mind............ been there. I feel that it is an unconscionable thing to do to someone, even if you do not love them. If all you wanted was a frisky fuque, be man enough to say so. | |
|
| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 3/11/2007 9:28:54 AM | | both men and women do it. usually, because they're not that interested and it's easier to simply disappear than to have to tell you. if you've been out on only a handful of dates, no real reason to tell you (other than polite civility). beyond that, the person should tell you. you'll eventually figure it out, but if the person had told you up front, it would have given you the option to move on sooner. it's pretty rude and self-centered. (that goes straight to basic character, btw.) | |
|
| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 5/16/2007 9:58:38 PM | I agree with you, I am sure woman do it to men just as often as men do this to woman.
I also agree that there can be a combination of a reasons a person feels it is easier to do this, I think this is rude, and uncalled for, especially if people have taken their relationship/friendship to the level of talking, texting and emailing & getting together as frequently as possible on a daily basis and have also gotten to the point of introducing eachother to other's family members for months at a time.
I personally would prefer someone being upfront and letting me know the truth as opposed to being left to hang, and wonder how long the other person was waiting for me to figure it out for myself.
It is given that a person can easily meet someone new and relationships can come and go. Does a person that does this to someone really think telling the person the truth would hurt more than dismissing them like that?
Sometimes a person is more affected by the way the person walked away than the fact that they actually left. This reveals a persons true character. | |
|
| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 6/10/2007 7:48:06 AM | | It's one thing when all that has happened is an email or two. That's not a relationship. But when there has been a steady, ongoing thing, being together, sex, there's no excuse. Courtesy, integrity, respect, honesty, and sincerity would ask that at least a note be sent to say, 'hey, I've decided that I'm looking for something different.' If the receiver, can't take that, it's the receiver's problem. If the person who has the issue can't send the message, that's their problem. In the end, they each have to face how they treated people and own it. There is nothing righteous about it. and it takes maturity. Let's face it, the internet is able to hide many things. It takes a long time to really know that other person....even if you're living together. | |
|
| |
| |
| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 6/10/2007 9:07:41 AM | (1) Because men don't feel the need to verbalize the uncomfortable like woman do.
(2) Because they know they would face a barrage of questioning from the wwoman..to which there are NO answer's to satisfy her. | |
|
| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 6/10/2007 10:04:39 AM | Karbala:
I concur wholeheartedly with your reply to the question.
If this happens to me I assume (yes yes, I know what assume does, but whatever!) it was either something about them that makes them afraid to be honest because of past experiences or something I did or said which led them to believe I would make the letting go a hassle. Or they are just uncaring and find it easier to disappear than just say they are moving on.
Either way you slice it, they have moved on and you should too. Learn from it or not.
BTW, last serious relationship I had, which was over 4 years ago now, ended with him sending me an email at work that it was over.... and we lived together! Ouch! LOL! | |
|
| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 6/10/2007 7:06:12 PM | whether men or women, I think if we had more consideration and courtesy toward each other, we'd be happier all around. I certainly don't expect to have a life long relationship with everyone I meet, but I do set a standard of courtesy and consideration. I would hope for the same in return. | |
|
| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 6/16/2007 5:33:09 AM | | I totally agree with you! I am one of those who is affected more by the way a man walks away...rather than the actual fact that they did! But, when one states that they're honest and open about their feelings...does that not include telling someone they're not interested anymore...or do they just randomly pick which feelings they're honest about? My personal opinion...whether it be a man or woman doing the "dumping"...is that each deserves respect...and common courtesy of knowing the truth! And being left to assume what went wrong, or what happened...is a mistake in itself!! If it was mistake made...or something you did wrong.....how is one to know...without being told...and possibly break the vicious cycle of repeating the same mistake...over and over again?? We are all adults...and granted...some more open and mature than others about their feelings...but I just feel that there's no excuse for anyone (male or female) to end something without a word...or some kind of explanation why! And yes, this type of person speaks volumes of the type of character they possess....which in my opinion...is very little!! | |
|
| |
TeJ_25
|
Joined: 2/17/2007
Msg: 371 | |
| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 6/16/2007 6:37:33 AM | | probably for safety. not necessarily physical but emotional and mental. at least for me, if when dealing with a women she begins to seem abusive through her interaction tend to not be around for very long. for me at least when she seems to lack confidence, and then project her discontent on the relationship she may wonder why she is the only one left in the relationship | |
|
| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 6/16/2007 7:03:58 AM | | It's because they ever don't have the social skills to say sorry I don't think this is working, or they are just plain rude. | |
|
| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 6/16/2007 7:23:39 AM | | I dated a guy for 5 years, and he told me I was his everything. And that he had found the one. And then one day in February, we spoke on the phone and everything was fine, and then he stopped answering the phone, and never called me again. He disappeared. No email, no phone call, NOTHING!..I cried for months, and I still do, not as much, just once in a while. Exactly a year before that, he went from calling everyday to once a week to once every two weeks, to once a month, and I would ask him what is going on. And he would say, "I just want to be alone." So to this day, I don't know why. I've moved on though. But I fully believe he was a coward to tell me, he didn't love me anymore. Oh well.... | |
|
| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 6/16/2007 11:14:20 AM | | Yes, I would appreciate an explanation and have a closure. But if they choose not to, I will understand and not think too much about their disappearing act. Still, it's not a good feeling that you don't want to trust that easily any more. | |
|
| |
Home
login 
