| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 1/24/2008 6:24:19 PM | Diappearing? Probably a "fetish" thing buy them a binky and a sippy cup full of rum and turn on Barney, but when the "Diappearing needs changing, tell them you forgot your phone in the car and split!
Hehe I couldn't help it;-) | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 1/24/2008 6:37:24 PM | | Your story sounds so very familiar. I believe that the guy is married and either decided he felt guilty or his wife caught him. It's just that simple. Considering your feelings was never part of his plan. It's a shame, but it's likely. | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 1/24/2008 6:47:17 PM | Men disappear a lot when they dont get their way. Basically men are looking for their mother and if they dont find her then poof bye. They have no consideration as it is
only a game not a real life experience to them. And yes when guys ask me I flat out tell them either we can be friends only, call me anytime, nice being with you, but it isnt going to work out. Also I have had a few that did the gentlemanly thing and wrote to tell me i was GREAT just not their idea of Great. What an exciting and exhausing game it is. I think Im going back to the bars. My arms hurt from typing | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 1/27/2008 10:52:14 AM | I get dumped all the time. Well not really dumped but men like me but I guess not for long turn , I turn out to be a good friend or someone who they want to sleep with, which I don't do or they just don't talk to me at all. I normally don't get past the 1st date. Guess I'm too comfortable and easy to get along with and maybe move too fast sometimes. Maybe I shouldn't kiss on the first date. Just got dumped AGAIN from last sunday. Some guys would give their right arm for me, so to speak , and others , also cute, would not give a rats "butt" about me. I know we can't cuss on here so I improvised . LOL It doesn't matter if you are ugly or whatever..I think just a lot of guys just want lots of girls and sex partners and my friends tell me probably lie about who they really are or their marital status and don't want to face up to telling the truth to a nice woman...ME!! WHATEVER! I'm glad I have lots of male friends and ex boyfriends that worship me..it still hurts though when I don't work out with a new cutie for long term. I'm beginning to feel like a universal date.
ACK!!! I HATE IT!
Thanks for the "common grounds" topic, I can totally relate!
Janet | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 1/27/2008 10:54:00 AM | good answer! the "deserters" are a bit childish and can't be man enough to confront or be honest or think with their real heads on their shoulders! It's a shame so many men are losers! Why are you single? you're a hottie!
Janet | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 1/27/2008 11:36:48 AM | Why do men do the disappearing act is the question?
I think it is because there are so many women on POF and a man just can't handle it also a mans nature is to Play Games. So they think of us as a Sport..If they don't have to buy a ticket they can get in free! I'm sorry to put it like this on you guys, but there seems to be too many irresponsible men on POF. Call them what you will..but remember there are some good men on here too. I've met a couple. That's why you just have to keep
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 1/27/2008 12:06:58 PM | I totally agree with Babelicious. Men should take the time to get to know someone they seem really hot over on the first date, instead of checking to see what else is out there before they commit. On the other hand, if a man is not ready to commit, and after checking out what is out there, finds that they miss you and decides to come back, guess that is not so bad. It does kind of hurt, but you can get over it. The important thing is to keep trying, because finding love in the world is worth the effort. It is important to see the big picture - where you want to end up. It is also important to rule out the jerks out there, so you don't end up in an abusive relationship. The truth of the matter, is that it takes a while to know someone. It is good to be friends first, because when the sex thing fades, it is the common interests and good times that you share that keep the relationship together. It is good to keep things light, fun and flirtatious for a while. I want someone I can laugh with and have fun with most of the time. That is the kind of person I want to have a serious relationship with eventually - its just the yin and yang of life Babelicious.
Debmatic | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 1/27/2008 1:58:48 PM | | People of both genders do the disappearing act. For example, a few weekends ago, one of my male cousins went on a date with some woman. They had some food and drinks for about 2-3 hrs. He called back a few days later and he never heard back from her. At least, she should have sent a brief, polite, but firm email or text message stating her lack of interest in him. I think a lot of people lose interest after the first date unless there is earthshattering chemistry. I think that is unrealistic because you don't know the other person that well on a first date. | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 1/27/2008 3:03:01 PM | Those all make sense. #4 feelings are confusing to most people you have to confront them not hide from them,they will not just disappear,not confronting them makes you a "wussy"
 . I also feel like ignoring a person in return to get a response may make things worse especially if there is a valid reason why they has not contacted you. Then again if the person says he/she is interested they should make it a point to call or contact you,(not 24/7) but enough to know they are stll alive and interested. Sometimes calling them you may feel like a nag even though all you want are answers,so its a no win situation. What happened to comminication? | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 1/27/2008 7:43:46 PM | Women do the disappearing act. This is what happens to 99% of my online contacts. One Email, I return the email and then - nothing. One even asked if I wanted to meet.
Why bother if you have no interest?! What's going on here? | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 1/29/2008 2:13:14 PM | This has happened to me so many times that it has gotten to the point that I do not even like to get the voicemail. Of course I know it is unrealistic not to ever get a voicemail when it happens a lot you come to expect that there will be one time you will call and get the voicemail and then they will never return your call or text message and will not respond and then you get that feeling and say oh no it is happening again  | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 2/4/2008 2:41:33 PM | summer444~
a universal date? boy, i know exactly what you mean. i have really felt that way this past year. i ve had enough of it, and have decided to make sure this year is better...
i have come to the conclusion that men need to be kept in a perpetual state of limbo. they need to feel unsure at every moment as to whether or not the girl wants them... this seems to be what they need... a perpetual state of insecurity...uncertainty...and intangible...for me, i am much to easy going and go with the flow.. i am not at all demanding, and i have come to the conclusion that men want to be toyed with, left in a state of "mystery," and treated like an interchangable accessory...
perhaps we women, being of a nurturing nature, tend to cater to them too much, go out of our way for them, and make sacrifices that NO man would make in exchange...
personally, i've decided that i am not doing that any more. if a guy likes me, well, it's up to him... i am not going to be a mom, or a blow up doll... lol!
lar | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 2/4/2008 2:53:49 PM | non-native speakers have no chance to understand it
I also never heard the term...we don't boil cude bunnies in norway....
maybe only in some barbaric cultures only....
will somebody tell me what a bunnyboiler is ?????? Is it like a****tease? | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 2/8/2008 9:20:23 PM | | Even if you do the right thing and brake it off ,fair and square , they just end-up blocking you ...whats the point...Only at rare occasions that they remain friends after you call it off.. | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 2/8/2008 10:01:51 PM | Question ladies: Are we talking about a guy who you've gone out with a couple of times, then he stops calling you and now since he hasn't called, you figure that he's a dirtbag? In which case, I would wonder why you didn't call him? And since neither of you is calling the other one, then wouldn't you both have the same lack of class? I mean, if you're interested, then pick up the phone once in a while and show some interest by calling him. Honestly ladies, if you don't show some interest in him, why should he continue to show interest in you?
Now, on the other hand, if you've called him a couple of times (or emailed) and he hasn't returned your voicemails or replied to your emails, then yeah, he's the dirtbag.
I've been on both sides of this, but if someone calls or emails, I do call or email back. But if I'm ALWAYS the one who calls, or if someone doesn't return a few messages in a row, I back off and wait for her to show some interest by calling or emailing. If I don't hear from her in a few days, then I "get the proverbial message" and look for someone else to spend my time on. Why should I waste my time pursuing someone who doesn't want to be pursued? | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 2/17/2008 8:13:10 AM | | People, we need to grow up, be mature.. If a person is interested, they will move mountains to be with you. If they are not interested they will disappear or make excuses, that's life, that is the way it is and will always be. UNTIL, you meet that one that fits. So if they don't call, who cares, I don't need to know why or have a reason. All I need to know is whatever we had, we don't have it anymore and move on. Don't walk away mad just walk away!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 2/17/2008 10:05:06 AM | When men disappear, it is their way of saying "I'm not interested". Simple as that. Move on. If they wanted to be with you, they would be. Why waste time trying to figure them out, you're probably not going to like their explanation for disappearing anyway. You won't be able to understand it, because YOU don't think that way.
I agree that they are cowards, or at the very least, immature. Oh well... NEXT... | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 2/17/2008 12:24:01 PM | | Yeah, both genders have done this. In my experience, it's for different reasons. The men who've done it to me had their reasons, I'm sure, but they didn't really make them all that clear, just *poof*. When I did it, it was because we'd gone on a absolutely horrible, boring, wasteful date. I doubt anyone questions why I don't call when I pull the disappearing act. And for me...it's not so much cowardice (I'll tell them why if they really want to know), but I just don't care enough to bother at that point. Most times, it's mutual. | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 9/19/2008 12:11:11 PM | i met somone here, had a WONDERFUL date, we spoke a couple of times after that but havent spoken in about 2weeks or so, i called and sent e mail. im giving it the benefit of the doubt since he told me that he had to go back home to see about his ailing mother. i feel one should never expect too much too soon.
if he never contacts me again. ill simply move on. no need to find out why, people have their own reasons for disappearing wheather they be good or bad; i dont worry about it and just move on. | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 9/19/2008 12:16:05 PM | | Obviously being honest is something they say and not do (men and women alike). I would rather someone say they are no longer interested for whatever reason than to be thrown mixed messages and left to figure out yourself. Ahhh the joys of dating.. NOT! | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 9/19/2008 1:46:26 PM | Thought I would throw in my penny worth too! Both sides do it however:
I was dating a guy from another site for 3-4 months - 2 or 3 times a week, met his daughter (shes 21), all going well I thought then he just vanishes. Didnt return my text, hung up when I called him!! Sod him I thought - now he is on this site and his profile says - I know how to treat a lady like a lady - no you don't buddy, ya haven't a clue!! And what kills me is when I do a search or whose online etc his mug pops up and I would like to smack it!! Now there ya go - I feel better now!
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Men dissapear for the exact SAME reaason that Women do, they fear you for some reason so the VANISH... 