| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 7/17/2006 8:19:34 PM | Helloooooo! I don't mind so much if they are vague and don't say much about wanting to see you again, but when they take you to supper on sunday, send you a card and call on Monday, arrange to call on Thursday to make a date for Saturday, and then fall off the face of the earth????? Yep, that's the way things go sometimes. I just feel grateful that they didn't stick around if that's what they're like! There are good men out there, I think; I just want to meet someone who would take time to get to know me. I mean, how do you know if you're going to click if you don't know the person?? I admit that sometimes you know that someone would drive you nuts. But many times I don't know someone well enough for awhile to know if I want to even be friends with them. Oh well. I hope I know him when I meet him and don't drive him off, or leave over an assumption I've erroneously made. Woman can be idiots too!  | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 7/17/2006 8:38:17 PM | | FROM WHAT I CAN FIGURE OUT-THEY ARE COLLECTING AS MANY AS THEY CAN TO E-MAIL/OR SEE,& THEY PICK THE ONE WHO HAS THE MOST OF WHAT THEY WANT!!PROBABLY FINANCIAL HELP!!SOME/LIE ABOUT MARRIAGE/EVEN USING THE CHURCH/THEY PLAY THE ORGAN TO MAKE DATES!!!WHERE ARE THE ''REAL HONEST''MEN? | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 7/17/2006 8:45:47 PM | | I think guys are cowards and are scared to be honest are tell a girl that they are not into them, so they just remain silent. Or they are afraid of commitment and bail when things get serious (again, cowards). I just had that happen to me...I was talking to someone for a year and I really got the impression that he was into me....and a month ago he stopped calling me abruptly. I emailed him last week and let him know that what he did was wrong and the least I deserved was an explanation if he didn't think it would work out. He emailed back yesterday (after a week) explaining that he is too busy and has no time for a relationship. I don't believe that because it is no excuse, but whatever, I have to accept his explanation and move on. This is life girls. | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 7/17/2006 9:05:21 PM | Because unfortunately, these type of men have no balls. What used to be called no backbone. I have to say that even when all appears to be going as you say "really well," if something is not quite right, there is usually signs. However, many times women choose to not read or see these signs and just pretend they don't exist.
There are women who will play this type of game. But what I have finally come to about all of this is that if you have never met this so called guy/girl in person, but just talked on the phone and computer, and all seemed to be great, up until the time you're suppose to meet, then don't even get sad or upset. Because what this means, is that they either don't look anything like they showed you, and they are not even the quality person they pretended to be. So of course they have no choice but to disappear. And you should consider yourself lucky.
If you have met, and the guy/girl behaves as if they really like you, there should still be some warning signs along the way to prove otherwise. You just have to open your eyes.
So, again unfortunately, there are a lot of men running around without their balls and women who only wish they looked like or could really be like the women they portray themselves to be. | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 7/22/2006 5:32:28 PM | *Update*, the guy who disappeared 2 weeks ago called today, out of the blue. Just like nothing happened, "how are you, what have you been up to?" Said he's been under the weather for a couple weeks and all he's done is work and sleep.
Sure, and that's a good reason not to call the person you've spent every possible moment with up till then, when you said you would, and let her know what's going on.
He said we should get together soon. I'm going to, because I can't wait to hear what he has to say. Plus, I'll get my watch parts back. I know to be very cautious, no matter how "into me" he says he is, I doubt I'll buy it this time Ought to be interesting! | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 7/23/2006 9:11:51 AM | I cant believe all these women are getting dumped and all the men are to blame.
Tell you what i am going to do.....i'll go out with all you women who have been dumped by your disappearing male wanna be lover.......just take number..... | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 7/23/2006 10:43:04 AM | Oh, I wouldn't necessarily says he's to blame. But how would I know? I'd love the feedback if he was man enough to give it, rather than just vanishing.
Lucky, you're on. When can you be here?  | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 7/23/2006 10:47:26 AM | Man these "Why do men....." posts are so frickin' annoying....
WE ARE NOT ALL ONE BIG GENERIC MAN!!!!
THAT guy dumped you and never called. ONLY HIM!!
Stop with the gender bashing, okay?
Women do the same thing so it isn't gender based. Screening calls, always busy... Why not just say "I don't really enjoy your company that much." and let it end there instead of hide? | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 7/23/2006 1:50:05 PM | I've been through this, in fact recently. It hurt for a while,but i've gotten over it. So it doesn't matter who is doing it (male or female), or why they do it. The big issue is why be so inconsiderate as to not let the other person know. If you can't handle one on one, then IM, Email or text message the person don't leave them hanging.
I'm sure most of our parents didn't raise us to be rude and inconsiderate,
just my opinion | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 7/23/2006 2:01:32 PM | Been asked many times before. I will disappear if they won't meet me half way. Make a conversation starter, make a chance at a next date by saying when we'll meet next, or if I should call, or she should call. I'm not going to sit around waiting for a phone call that will never come. Be proactive. The moment you aren't the date won't be interested. If you are really interested, say you are interested in going out on a specific date.
Dating is like job hunting. You do whatever it takes to keep it alive. Those who don't ask you when the next date will be, may still be interested. They just want to hear from you that you are interested. I'm not going to carry the ball all the time. In today's society, it is possible for the woman to get what she wants. I will show you the path. If you don't follow, I'm not going to force you. | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 7/23/2006 2:44:34 PM | hang fire one minute...
aint bloke who do the disappear acts,,,,
when women do it , you do a complete change
disappear & month later gone from blonde to brunette or vice vesa
new make up make over , complete new look dress clothes wise
sure u dump guys just so can go on a shopping spree
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Dru
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Joined: 12/17/2005
Msg: 114 | |
| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 7/23/2006 5:02:08 PM | Having just recently gone through this, I can tell you it isn't fair to the other person. The girl that did it to me ended up loosing out on what she wanted most.
I was not clingy or overly attentive or calling her too much. None of what all the proponents of AWOL in this thread are saying. I gave her tons of space, new she was a busy girl and would call her maybe 3 times a week just to say hi if she was too busy for anything else. This wasn't a dating thing, she had asked me to committ to her and enter a relationship, which I did whole heartedly.
Over the past few weeks I definately noticed all the signs that the relationship was coming to an end. She lost interest or something, whatever the reason I don't care, it was how she handled it that made me loose all respect for her. She showed absolutely no desire to talk to me, hang out with me or have anything to do with me on her own accord. If I called her she would talk to me sometimes we would hang out. I let it go own for a while because she was a really great girl and I wanted to make sure this just wasn't a phase or anything.
Well after not hearing from her for over a week and a half and not seeing her for over two weeks, I decided this is stupid and I went over and got my stuff and officially ended it. She said to me, and I quote, "There doesn't have to be any bitterness between us." My response was, I'm bitter, you could of had enough respect for me to not leave me hanging and making me feel useless for 3 weeks. She really wanted to stay friends with me after the relationship, because of the way she acted, I lost too much respect for her to want to be friends.
My point, be upfront and honest, if your not feeling it anymore tell them that, don't spend a couple of weeks sending "signals". Do it like a band aid, quick and painful, you get more respect and who know's you could end up with someone that is a great friend. | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 7/23/2006 5:40:37 PM | | Yea women do it too. I think they either find someone else or a more important situation in their life. Then they dont have the guts to say anything, because they dont want to feel the little guilt that may come. It is a sign of weakness in that person and more of a reason to hold your head high. I know I dont want someone who is too scared to be honest. Those situations to me, are a person being silently real. Sometimes a person can say this and do that. I hear ya, That is not me either. | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 7/23/2006 9:38:06 PM | | Unfortunately men arent trained to be as sympathetic as women, so we end up feeling abandoned and used when it doesnt work out- -but think about it- how good were things REALLY if it ended that way... doesnt sound like the lines of communication were as open as tehy should have been... there are some guys out there that are more in touch with their feelings-- try dating more emotionally intelligent guys-- maybe it will help! Good luck all! MJS | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 7/23/2006 10:02:57 PM | | Couldn't agree more inneowithgeo! It seems everywhere you look on here, women are bashing the hell out of men. I also sense that very few women on these forums/threads feel any need to take any responsibility for their actions. And I'm using women on a case-by-case basis. It seems like every guy any of these ladies dated gets accused for all her short-comings. You don't think there are a fair share of women who are guilty of a disappearing act because they didn't feel like meeting again? Or they traded up for what they thought was a better man? Women are just as guilty as men in all the things they claim to hate about us. Problem is....very few women have the courage to admit they were wrong because it would mean swallowing some pride and deflating their ego. | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 7/24/2006 1:19:40 AM | You're generalizing all women into one group, exactly the thing you say we shouldn't do about men. I agree there are a lot of bashing posts, about men and about women. I think the intention is really to gain some insight, some understanding if possible. The more we learn from each other the easier it will be to keep whatever relationship we choose healthy. I believe that most of these men and women don't really mean to generalize, they're describing something that happened to them and they're either upset or frustrated, and they're looking for input. I was describing something that happened to me, since it's a real situation how does that translate into bashing?
Maybe you could show a little compassion for people, male or female, that have been through a rough time. | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 7/24/2006 1:44:11 AM | He really has done you a favour! Seriously, do you really want to be dating someone that you are never really sure if he may or may not show up for a special dinner, event or be with you as a date. That has got to be exhausting, just writing it has been. It has all happened to us, some in more extremes than others, but seriously..Take this as an eye opener. Would you do this to someone? Then why would you remotely allow it to happen to you? Nothing drives me crazier than cowardly people, they seem to be the same ones who have their faces up the bosses A**, that they are practically a human enema.
So, smile, be strong, you know you deserve way way better and let it go! | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 7/24/2006 1:48:08 AM | op
guy/gals that do the disappearing act have not the backbone they were born with
the capn' say's go if you must but tell the other of your lack of lust
lessons on candour as taught by a stink' dead fish
the capn' | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 7/24/2006 2:11:18 AM | I've had men drop the ball so many times, my head spins! lol
I can deal with it, if we've only been out once or twice, but if its been past date 4 or five, it starts to get irritating and makes me lose my faith in men. It just gets tiresome. Of course men (and women) have a right to decide who they want to mate with, and dating is afterall about deciding if you want to be with someone or not, STILL, too many people take the cowards way out. For me, if I've been intimate with a man and spent alot of tiem getting to know him, I'm not going to simply bail on him, unless he's been abusive, or otherwise proven himself disrespectful emotionally. Its the "disbelief" that makes it all the worse--the unsuspecting "dump" ... I think maybe we as women should claim our independence and date lots of men all at once! lol that way if one dumps us we have a few others to take us out to that party or event ... why not??? Until you know for sure one of them is THE REAL DEAL, play them like they play us. WE women should not have to be victims to men's so-called superiority and double-standards. I say lets storm the capitol ladies- -its time for change! -- MJS | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 7/24/2006 2:24:26 AM | ^^^^^ eh' where ya been? women do this constantly
the capn' say's why man bash when ye have the the chance to "person" bash
maybe try to lower you maintenance costs
stinky smelly agenda's sniffed out by a stinkin' rotten port sided fish
the capn' | |
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| Why do men do the diappearing act?
Posted: 7/24/2006 6:30:28 AM | Well, first of all, both genders do it.
I've been on the receiving end of this phenomenon twice and I'm no wiser as to why it happened. All I can tell you is that it has made me keenly aware of how much is hurts and ensures that I would never do it to anyone I was seeing.
They may not like the fact that I don't want to see them any longer but at least I tell them instead of just disapearing. I wish everyone were able to do this. | |
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