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| A Horrible Night To Be An Idoler
Posted: 4/3/2005 9:36:11 AM | Here is my well articulated opinion on the matter of american idol:
"UTTER CRAP!!!"
It requires no taste to listen to "top 40" pieces of pop shit. | |
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| I learned that show tunes SUCK!
Posted: 4/6/2005 4:44:45 PM | Ok, just got a chance to catch Idol on my Tivo and here is my quick synopsis before I head off to work this evening as a karaoke specialist for the musically challenged. (Yes, that is an official job description, I made it up). SHOW TUNES! SHOW TUNES! SHOW TUNES!
First, I’d like to commend Ryan Seacrest on his bravery. To be mugged on the subway by a street gang and to be “tagged” with gangland graffiti and STILL make it to the show on time to host…truly amazing. I figure this is what happened as no one on this earth would actually pay for a shirt that actually looked like that. Surely, he is now property of the Crips (insert emphatic “SUCKA!” here)
SCOTT SAVOL – Sucked. As soon as he got the note he was doing a show tune, he probably said, “I’m gonna be sick, straight up.”
CONSTANTINE – So he DOES have a last name. Maroulis. Who knew? And who would have known that he could (in Ricardo Montalban voice) make such sweet and passionate love to the camera. I make love to you. Mwa mwa mwa.
Another fine performance by Constantine. He is definitely making up ground on his fellow rocker, Bo. His googly eyes won Paula over and she gushed as she told him she was falling in love with him. I wouldn’t be surprised if she invited him over for a nightcap later after the show. He is her “Funny Valentine.” (rowrrr)
CARRIE UNDERWOOD – If there was any song that could instantly kill an erection, it would be Hello Young Lovers. Simon had it dead on when he said it was very “old fashioned.” I agree, I think I went through post traumatic stress when I heard this song, bringing back repressed memories of when my grandparents made me watch The Lawrence Welk Show on Sunday Nights when they babysat me. If it wasn’t for Carrie’s boobies calling out to me, I would have fast forwarded through her performance. Yes... I will do as you command....
VONZELL SOLOMON – Every week, stronger and stronger. She looks great and DANG if those teeth aren’t white! If she doesn’t win Idol, surely she can land a tv gig promoting Crest White Strips. Ca-CHING!
ANTHONY FEDEROV – Find your DREEEEEAAAAAMMMMSSSSS. I haven’t heard a screech like that since Peter Brady went through puberty. That last note was so flat, it made Sandra Bullock look like a D Cup. I got a million of em folks… uh, in my pockets somewhere (feeling around, realizing this is the best groping he has had all week). Paula liked it… but then again, is there anyone she really dislikes? Especially when she’s drinking? Simon says… HIDEOUS.
NIKKO SMITH – The Comeback Kid (rolling eyes). Boring… I found myself wondering more how he got his goatee so tiny than whether he would make this round.
ANWAR ROBINSON – This guy is pretty unnerving. It’s almost like he’s made of cardboard. The only thing that wasn’t boring was his scarf. (Is that SILK??) Remember the Eddie Murphy movie Coming To America? When Eddie is looking for a bride and he asks her, “What do you like to do?” and she responds, “Whatever you like to do.” I bet you if you told Anwar to hop on one leg and bark like a dog, he’d do it. I especially like when he back slapped Seacrest and put his arm around him like they were kissin’ cousins. HAR HAR HAR, you da man Ryan. No, you are Anwar! Ugh.
BO BICE – Once again, horrible song choice. Stop closing your eyes and doing an eenie, meenie, mynie moe on song selection, Bo! Constantine is beating you in the hearts of all 9th graders voting by text message! My dad was watching and he suddenly blurted out in a thick Portuguese accent, “I geev heem 3pts… 1 for da song, and 2 for da shirt.” My dad’s eyesight isn’t what it used to be. If it was, he would realize he just gave 2pts to a fruit rollup with sleeves.
NADIA TURNER – Our last contestant. When it comes to the ladies, I really think Nadia has slipped into 3rd place, behind Vonzell. Ever since that hatchet hairdo she sported a couple of weeks ago, things haven’t been the same for Nadia. Some of her notes were rough. Sure, enough to keep her in a little longer… but for how much longer??
AGSTANG GIVES DA BOOT TO: Anthony Federov. If I were to throw 3 people into the Spotlight Of Disaster, it would be Anthony, Scott and Nadia. Anthony already had the crosshairs on him, and his performance this week only locked him on target.
And that’s the way it went! G’night! | |
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| I learned that show tunes SUCK!
Posted: 4/6/2005 6:40:02 PM | This weeks theme was a snoozefest 
Nikko is gone.. next lets make the predicitions shall we.... Anthony, Scott , Anwar, Vonzell,Nadia
Top 3 .. I would have to say Bo, Carrie and Constantine
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| I learned that show tunes SUCK!
Posted: 4/6/2005 6:46:51 PM | America voted and voted the wrong one off...cant anyone hear that Anthony should have been gone by now....I am thinking hes getting all the younger votes.
I will give my top two...Bo and Constantine...and I'm thinking that will be one showdown that America will enjoy. | |
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| I learned that show tunes SUCK!
Posted: 4/7/2005 6:28:39 AM | I completely agree that American got it wrong. But, I'm thinking somehow there is a conspiracy. (Isn't there always??) Nikko should have been gone before and came back on a technicality. It would have been cruel to boot him off the following week... so even if he had got the least amount of votes, I doubt Fox would have sent him packing. What's a better story than "The Comeback Kid?" If you had to ask me who the most boring was, I would give it to Nikko. Those with little personality are quite easy to forget.
That being said, Anthony definitely got a break. He was horrible and it's not that he needs better song choices, he just isn't in the same league as Vonzell or Carrie. I thought the men were strong contenders from the onset, but with Scott's legal problems blemishing his chances for stardom (who wants an Idol to be a woman beater??), Anthony's pitch problems, Anwar's walking cardboard personna... it does come down to a battle between Constantine and Bo for the men, and Vonzell and Carrie for the women.
Because Carrie reminds people so much of Kelly Clarkson, I think she will be the one to beat. The Bo vs. Constantine challenge is interesting... but once one of them gets voted off, that's it for that ratings gimmick. Nadia is simply a matter of time... there are 2 R&B singers, and Vonzell is prettier and more personable and, as of late, the better singer. Vonzell has truly grown with this competition and has become a contender.
Funny if you think about it though... the first year was Kelly vs Justin, country girl vs guy with an African-American heritage. Then it was Ruben and (aww shucks) Clay, then Fantasia and (aww shucks) Diana....will this year also follow the same pattern? Even if race is not involved, look at gender pattern. Woman vs. Man, Man vs. Man, Woman vs. Woman. So, if we follow the pattern, if there is one, can we assume that this year will be a white man vs. african american woman? Constantine or Bo vs. Vonzell, with the male winning? That would certainly complete the cycle. Or would the Aww Shucks factor continue with a Carrie vs. Vonzell pairing?
Why is it falling out so cleanly like this? Is it the way the demographic is voting, or is it Fox's underhanded scheme to ensure their show appeals to all races? I'm sure Mario dropping out was a huge disappointment. The network execs at Fox were surely salivating at a latin contender taking it all the way. Let's see if the pattern plays out. I certainly don't have too much confidence in the voting structure after seeing Anthony still in it to warble through yet another week.
Things that make you go Hmmmmm..... | |
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| I learned that show tunes SUCK!
Posted: 4/7/2005 6:44:02 AM | I'll make this quick Nikko shouldn't have gone this week Anthony should have gone home. Randy was funny he was like "That wasn't good, that wasn't good at all dude" LOL LMAO
In the end I'm going for Vonzel and Scottie "The Body" Sable Vonzel is from my home town she was a mail lady we used to call her Baby V! | |
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| I learned that show tunes SUCK!
Posted: 4/7/2005 12:43:47 PM | Ok well I totally missed the Tuesday show....
But see last week they totally made a stupid choice by booting off Jessica...IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN SCOTT, that guy annoys me, and cant sing, and makes me sick to watch....HE IS NO RUBEN STUDDARD....America loved the velvet teddybear...I dont see them loving SCOTT...
Now with that vented...Nikko shouldnt have been booted off either, I will be honest here, I think as much as Constantine is a Hottie, and Lord knows i luv my rockers, I think he shouldstick to his rock roots and go back to his band...
As to the Anthony thing, the boy can sing, if he would find his nitch, I think he did a great job with the Forigner song.....Very nice, it sounded good, but realisticly, not good enough for AMERICAN IDOL...
I think it should come down to the top 3 being....
Carrie
Bo
Nadia
^^^these folks can sing..[Jessica should have been top three but ] | |
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| I learned that show tunes SUCK!
Posted: 4/12/2005 9:59:58 PM | Bo and Constantine honestly rocked this evening....the best I have seen from Constantine...neither should be in the bottom 3...not even close! and Simon saying what he said about Free Bird..what an idiot! | |
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| I learned that show tunes SUCK!
Posted: 4/12/2005 10:05:01 PM | The idols did very well this week . Constantine kicked ass singing Boheiman Rhaspody. Also Carrie didn't do bad as well singing Pat Benatar.Bo didn't do bad as well .
I still say it is down to those 3  | |
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| I learned that show tunes SUCK!
Posted: 4/12/2005 10:14:16 PM | Well being the ROCKER that I am, all for the rockers...Bo & Costantine and gotta give it to Carrie for the trying to be rock..LOL...
Worst for me is SCOT, however if Daryl Hall liked the way he did the song, guess I shouldnt complain, other than to say not even my favorite...
Thought Anthony did a pretty good job tonight...
Normally like Nadia but wasnt impressed tonight...
DO NOT LIKE VONZELL and I love that song, hated what she did to it...
Well thats just my 2cents.... ROCK to LIVE, LIVE to ROCK | |
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| I learned that show tunes SUCK!
Posted: 4/13/2005 4:59:53 PM | Alright! Another week, another boring program. Sheesh… the most exciting thing we’ve seen all season is the departure of Mario. Why can’t there be a catfight between Vonzell and Carrie? Better yet, why can Jello not be involved? Why can’t the cops swarm in and take Scott down and drag him away in handcuffs? That would make for GOOD reality television! Ahhh, a man can dream….
Speaking of dreaming, we start out with Ryan Seacrest once again attempting to find humor by discussing the voting process. “Watching the show without voting is like starting a conversation with Randy.” Man, if it wasn’t for the few nervous chuckles from the Mensa candidates in the crowd who actually understood this joke, Ryan would have been left hangin with the crickets! E=MC2... woo hoo! That's funny!
Skip to the theme of tonight’s show. Ryan displays a few baby pics and Anwar guesses, “Uh, Nursery Rhymes?” Yeah, Anwar. People are really going to stay tuned as the Idol contestants belt out the favorites like Hickory****ry Dock, Farmer In the Dell, and Three Blind Mice. Isn’t there a minimum IQ requirement for this contest? The YEAR YOU WERE BORN! Even my 4 year old guessed that one. FOOL!
NADIA TURNER – Ahhh, Nadia’s hair is back! And so is her ability to choose songs that won’t give her a chance in hell at winning the big prize. Crystal Gale? Come on. Crystal had some decent songs but even I couldn’t remember the obscure hit she chose. Even Paula wasn’t impressed with this performance. And she is pretty much impressed by anything… even the ability to blow milk bubbles using a straw and a glass of milk. (Yean, how do you like me now, Paula!) Nadia tells us she picked this song because it talks about “dreams and being a dreamer.” To that I say, Keep On Dreamin Cuz You’ll Soon Be Leavin!
Seacrest takes us away to commecial asking us if we can guess the next 2 baby pics. Uh, Nursery Rhymes? Aaaaannnnd WE’RE BACK from commercial to a shot of Ryan being molested by all 3 judges. Seriously, is this supposed to improve ratings??
BO BICE – Even I jumped out of my chair to shout out, “FREE BIRD!” Not because that’s what he was signing, but because I can’t help shouting that at all concerts I attend, including those on my very own big screen in my own home. Bo did a nice job on this song. Paula exclaims, “See you at the finals!” as the rest of us wonder why she she is wearing an arm band made of electrical tape. Is it to protect her from the electrifying performances? Ha Ha.. me so funny.
ANWAR ROBINSON – I hereby proclaim this man the Most Annoying Of All Idols. They should just call him Façade Robinson. Talk about not keeping it real! Too bad, he’s got a really nice voice for an effeminate black man.
Randy gives him his props and Paula says something too, but I wasn’t listening. Ryan then asks him if it gets “harder to step up on the stage.” Anwar looks into the camera and responds, “Yeah, yeah. You just want to get better and better and work harder.” What’s up with the camera thing? This isn’t the Miss Universe pageant. I instantly envisioned a squealing Anwar gratefull accepting his crown and roses… if you know what I mean. At least he traded in his silk scarf for a pair of pecs ala Ricardo Montalban in Wrath Of Khan. Hmm Hmmm.. something about a man with a plastic chest. You go, girl!
ANTHONY FEDEROV – (singing Paul Young) I wish he would go… away. Anthony did a little better this week than last, doing a smooth rendition of Everytime You Go Away. Will that be enough to save him? Only Nadia’s performance deserved less acclaim. He needs to dump his stylist. It’s like he’s a guinea pig for the Newport School Of Hairdressing. Ok, students! This week, we are going for the Herbie The Elf look. Ready, set… GO! I dunno. Maybe Anthony doesn’t want to sing songs. He just wants to be a dentist.
VONZELL - This woman is absolutely delicious. Every week she gets better and better. (singing) “Let’s hear it for the boy. Put your hands together! Now look at my butt! Yeah!” This performance was surely the nail in Nadia’s coffin. Vonzell’s stage presence has become more confident and her vocal ability has shined through. Definitely top 3 contender! And did I mention she was delicious?
SCOTT SAVOL – We are treated to a short introduction from Scott, telling us he is the “real rocker of this competition, describing his childhood to us of “rocking out” on pots and pans and anything else he could get his chubby little fingers on to annoy his family. He exclaims, “I rocked out!” and then suddenly, he launches into a sappy ballad by... Hall & Oates?? Talk about an awkward segue! Cut to an in crowd shot of Hall & Oates adjusting their hearing aids. I didn’t think it was that great of a performance. Randy thought he brought it home, Paula said he was awesome and Hall & Oates kept shouting out, “More fiber! More fiber!” until they were restrained by security and dragged out of the stage area.
CARRIE UNDERWOOD – One of my favorites.. but not tonight. What a huge risk she took, the little country girl taking on Pat Benetar. What was she thinking? She even admitted she wanted to break out from the mold a bit. But this song just wasn’t for her. Vibrato was unnerving, and she was VERY pitchy throughout the entire song. She even missed a few lyrics! Bad gamble to take. Simon says, “Like a kitten trying to be a tiger.” DEAD ON!
CONSTANTINE – Ya know, the judges raved about Constantine’s performance of Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody. I didn’t think it was all that great. I thought it kinda sucked. I despise when singers perform hacked up versions of songs. This was the worst hack job of them all. I know it’s a long song and all but… it just seemed choppy. Paula stands up and blurts, “You’re the one to beat!” and stumbles back down. (If you have this tape, do the slow mo after she says it. I’m not kidding! Don’t drink and judge, kids!)
AGSTANG GIVES THE BOOT TO: Despite Carrie's miscues and offkey performance, she's still a crowd favorite and this crowd sure is sympathetic. It’s gonna be close between Anthony and Nadia. Gonna be a tossup, but I’m thinking Anthony still has a bit of the sympathy factor going for him and Nadia is really no longer necessary in this competition. All the bases are covered demographically, Nadia has pretty much sucked the last few weeks so… Good bye, Nadia. And if you find a set of house keys in your hair the next time you shampoor, can you send them to me? I lost them 2 weeks ago. Thanks! | |
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| I learned that show tunes SUCK!
Posted: 4/13/2005 6:12:21 PM | Me thinks Paula's armband of electircal tape was put there herself as counter-measures. Seeing as it's harder to get to flesh with a blade when it's covered, she's just being prepared!
Poor Paula, she needs help, but she needs, more importantly, to accept the fact that she needs help! | |
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| I learned that show tunes SUCK!
Posted: 4/13/2005 7:07:46 PM | I agree .. why was Bo there in the bottom 3??? and what in the hell is Anthony still doing in this competition or Scott for that matter.  | |
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| I learned that show tunes SUCK!
Posted: 4/13/2005 10:07:44 PM | How dare they put BO down there....
NaNadia, well she shouldnt have to go, its should have been SCOTT, he sux.... | |
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| I learned that show tunes SUCK!
Posted: 4/14/2005 8:13:57 AM | Here's BO's problem. There are 2 rockers in this competition and there really is only room for one. Same thing went for having 2 african american female R&B singers when there really is room for 1. (And, who needs a Nikko when you have an Anwar, or a Jessica when you have a Carrie?)
Folks need to understand that voting isn't just happening based on vocal talent, that musical (and to a degree racial/gender) demographics come into play. The rockers will vote for the rockers, but as time goes on.. the rockers will concentrate their vote on one person they feel will represent their vote. Same goes for R&B.. all the way until the end. That's why folks like Anthony don't stand a chance. He really doesn't fit into any category, and doesn't have the vocal ability to help him overcome the odds (like Clay Aiken did to get to the 2 spot). The contestants are being whittled away to a representation of each group. It's political, just like most things in life are.
The problem with Bo is the same problem with Nadia. After a strong start out of the gate, some poor decisions on song selection have left him with a less than favorable (or even memorable) light in the eyes of viewers, or even among his own rocker following. Nadia has a great voice, but she chose the wrong songs.. songs that didn't fit her stye or genre, or songs that just didn't grab the audience. After 3 weeks in a row of poor judgement, her supporters lost their patience and confidence in Nadia, instead focusing their support for the person they felt would best represent their interests... Vonzell, the overwhelming winner of the Most Improved award, in my opinion.
Bo is in the same position. Constantine has had some great performances in the last few weeks and has outshined Bo in the song selection category. It's only a matter of time... A few weeks ago I would have told you he had it in the bag. Now, I'm leaning more toward Constantine. FREE BIRD?? I don't know of too many gun totin', jack daniels drinkin', confederate flag wavin' U.S. citizens who watch idol, never mind take the time to call in and vote for their favorite. The viewers have basically shed the contestants they don't like (voting against them by voting for various other contestants), now it's down to who they DO like among the pack so now their calls will be more concentrated on specific 1 or 2 individuals. Gotta play to the viewers or else YOU'RE FIRED! | |
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| I learned that show tunes SUCK!
Posted: 4/14/2005 9:44:22 AM | Also, one thing I have picked up from you guys is that Scott's attitude is having an effect on people. He has a really good voice. But his whole attitude just sucks. This boy is so desperate to be thuggin', it aint funny! From the onset when he didn't want to help his trio out in the team effort, to the reports of girlfriend abuse and to last night's retort to Simon's feedback... he is just a pathetic loser who has been given a break. Would have been nice to see a little bit more humility from him when getting his feedback. But he's just a bitter man, walkin' round with a big ol' "My daddy doesn't love me" chip on his shoulder.
It won't be long for Scott. But unless Scott does something really stupid, we'll see Anthony go before Scott. | |
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| I learned that show tunes SUCK!
Posted: 4/14/2005 1:11:36 PM | Im going to tell you.....I have been over to the idolsonfox forums and it seem the more hate people have for Scott the more his fan base are voting tons of votes for him...they are only feeding the fire by bashing him...his fan base votes hundreds of times for him...I am saying they stay on the phone for the solid two hours voting for this man...Scott makes me laugh ...lol...he has an idenity crisis going on .....as for Anthony...he has that young fan base going on..and I am afraid to say hes going to stay longer than someone that is much more deserving..he already has and I bet he does it a couple more times...after reading some things about Carrie shes no longer any kind of favorite to me...you have to remain modest...I am still keeping my hopes of that Constantine-Bo final 2...if it cant be them I hope its one of them and Vonzell | |
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| I learned that show tunes SUCK!
Posted: 4/15/2005 10:44:53 PM | The last show Bo struck a nerve with me. When asked if he got voted out his reply was.. I am doing this as a bet with my mom. I will go on to play gigs.
Bo.....without American Idol no one would have heard of you and you would continue to play those gigs of yours undiscovered.. How ungrateful!Especially when others are trying to make it.. or the others that got sent home | |
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| I learned that show tunes SUCK!
Posted: 4/16/2005 5:42:47 AM | Is that what he said? For that alone I wouldn't vote for him anymore. I would concentrate my efforts on those who really want to make it and share their music with us. A bet with his mom? If this is just a joke for Bo, he needs to go.
(chanting no slogan) Joke for Bo, He must GO! Joke for Bo, He must GO! | |
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| I learned that show tunes SUCK!
Posted: 4/16/2005 7:40:02 AM | | he said it started out that way...she bet him he wouldnt go try out and he in turn bet her she wouldnt go sleep on the floor for 3 days of the place he would have to try out at...thats what the bet was...very simple bet thats going to get everyones panties in an uproar..Im still voting for him...hes talented...and it took alot for a rocker to even think he could make it on that show....look at the past...have you ever seen anyone like him on there? | |
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