| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/4/2008 9:20:31 AM | Stead on girl you should know
that once you have sucked on my toe
my work is all done
I turn on my tum
and sleep til the end of the show
I'm afraid that a minutes my best
my average is less than the rest
in under a mo
it's all systems go
no time to unbutton my vest | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/4/2008 8:08:16 PM | Away with this limericking levity
You have 'raised' the question of brevity
For those who are in it
For less than a minit
I have diplomas in creating longevity
(Apologies to any who may be offended by my flights of fancy or otherwise discommoded) | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/5/2008 7:29:52 PM | the foot fetish I don't oppose
but if anyone here knows
when all alone
instead of his bone
does a foot fancier play with his toes? | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/5/2008 9:06:10 PM | I've discovered I'm a bonobo at heart
a chimp impaled with cupids dart
fighting, what for
make love, not war
from the bonobo we could learn to be smart
they don't seem to be taken with aggression
but would prefer a steamy love session
while swinging from trees
they aim to please
and don't worry about going to confession
so instead of going to war
we could send a battalion of whores
to battle our foes
with fvcks, svcks, and blows
enlistment problems, no more | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/5/2008 9:11:31 PM | Hooray for some lateral thought
Now, how can the leaders be taught?
This question is vexing
For promoting such sexing
So wars and such come to nought. | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/5/2008 9:21:24 PM | the leaders, well sodomy comes to mind
and hope they are the last of their kind
they'll have little to do
but join in the screw
but they will to take it from behind | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/5/2008 10:24:47 PM | Good gracious, some images unfurled
As into my brain your words whirled
The warmongers take the brunt
In conga line - back to front
And perhaps it would circle the world | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/5/2008 11:38:13 PM | this could well be the solution
it would end up in genetic dilution
of the warmaking gene
no one would be mean
after just one generation | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/7/2008 5:56:51 AM | Your plan could possibly wircle
With this line becoming a circle
Then we could sneak through
With strong super glue
And stick it to each warlike jircle | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/7/2008 6:21:40 AM | There once was a man who would lurk
though some labeled him just a jerk
but when he did desire
his lines could inspire
now if he could just get his limericks to work. | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/15/2008 7:14:06 AM | A man who thought he was God
went fishing for love with no rod
the girls didn't come
so he could have fun
they just laughed and called him a clod | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/17/2008 4:56:00 AM | There once was a man who wrote verse
with each one he did it got worse
they told him 'be quiet'
or he'd soon start a riot
in a voice that was harsh and quite terse | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/18/2008 5:17:33 AM | Perhaps we knew the same verserer
Whose work got worser and worserer
It bottomed out, but then
He bought a new pen
And broke that long-standing curserer | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/19/2008 3:32:29 AM | If a new pen is all that it takes
I'll get one for all of our sakes
then back to the fun
of writing a pun
with verses that have no mistakes
The new ones will never be wrong
you can sing them like words in a song
be it shrill or in bass
with a smile on his face
the poet's back where he belongs | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/19/2008 11:32:55 AM | So all I need is new ink?
For my rhymes to no longer stink?
but a keyboard I use
to try to amuse
so a new pen won't work, I don't think | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/19/2008 9:52:32 PM | Use your pen like you’re wielding a sword.
Act as if you’re a limerick lord.
If any complain,
just say you’re insane
and you’ve escaped from the state psycho ward.. | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/21/2008 12:40:37 AM | Out of pens it's back to old qwerty
For composing lines both clean and dirty
Then if I mislay me sword
I scone detractors with me keyboard
When they jump up and down and get shirty. | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/23/2008 3:25:14 AM | I remember the days of the pen
I'd several up there in my den
the're all out of ink
can't write what I think
So I'm getting another, but when? | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/23/2008 3:36:21 AM | I type on my board with a click
I'm starting to think I am thick
coz a pencil I need
for writing at speed
those rhymes where I'm taking the Mick
It's easy to write on the screen
I admit that I am rather keen
to write down my verse
for better or worse
and now all my efforts are seen
If you like what you see and want more
you should write til your fingers get sore
pls send me your prose
and anything goes
but try make me laugh and not bore | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/23/2008 6:13:08 AM | Well, some of these verses just mutter
While others go down smooth as butter
Of course we want more
Of those that don't bore
Write some for screen splattering splutter
 | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/23/2008 5:06:38 PM | try as I might, tonight, to fight the good fight
there's a blight on this site, its the shyte that I write
i may be too self-deprecating
but the rhymes that I'm creating
aren't too bright, will rob your sight, will fill you with fright, and that ain't right
but now it's too late, this far you've read
and it hasn't yet exploded your head
but three more lines
and you might find
that you are already dead
they say the word is mightier than the sword
but reading mine carries little reward
my little medley
is just as deadly
as the prospect of being gored | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/23/2008 11:29:37 PM | Considering the realities of 'gores'
certainly isn't a subject which bores . . .
something hard finds a cavity
which might lead to depravity
or a round of resounding 'Encores' | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/24/2008 12:14:22 AM | double entendre and innuendo
builds to a crescendo
cymbals crash
you end up on your ass
in a heap of diminuendo | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/25/2008 3:12:19 AM | Ah yes, all those musical overtones
Can lead to some satisfied moans
But you'll hear my wails
Nobody even plays scales
When I'm needing arpeggio groans | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/25/2008 5:36:15 AM | I dream of writing for fame
Now some would say that was lame
But can you imagine the boost
As if you were the golden goose
And your letters burst forth with a flame! | |
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