| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/25/2008 5:45:22 AM | You can talk about Joyce
Who flew in the face of good choice
A man who made Willy look proper
Then came literary critics conservative coppers
To put an end to an elegant voice | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/25/2008 8:53:08 PM | Eternal fame from writing a limerick?
Five line fortune and please make it quick
circumventing the grovel
to block-bust a novel . . .
hang on, I'll write the best in just one tick. | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/26/2008 1:52:56 AM | There was an old bloke from Bombala
Who was screwing a dead stiff koala
He said “You need lots more care,
if you rewt a live bear,
Cos sometimes you get a real snarler. ......................... Rodney R. | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/26/2008 5:28:59 AM | Not a bear but an Orstralian marsupial
the koala is a quick learning pupial.
You'll surely yell, "Ouch,"
if you're stuffed in her pouch
for stuffing the stuffed without scrupial | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/26/2008 7:36:03 AM | My back hurts from drinking too much grog
When I look in the mirror I see a hung over frog
When I get better
I swear I'll write a letter
saying if you catch me drinking hit me with a log. | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/26/2008 8:06:12 AM | 603 and 604, you guys are cleverboots.....
I drank at a wedding reception
it went down with easy deception
it was only a few
'cause I already knew
what would happen without some rejection
besides I mixed liquors all night
reaching tipsy, but drunken? Not quite
that's the worst kind of sick
if you don't learn the trick
of soda when you've hit your height | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/27/2008 2:42:33 AM | If you start mixing your drink
you might be sick in the sink
then mum will be mad
and so will your dad
so you'd better start trying to think | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/30/2008 8:59:19 AM | What happens for those of us TT
When mixing hot choc, coffee and tea,
Does it cause bad erosion
Or perhaps an explosion
Or something worse that no one can see? | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/30/2008 12:08:21 PM | My favorite number is 9,
I've found it to be mighty fine.
I don't care for 7,
You can keep your 11.
Keep your paws off 9 'cause it's mine. | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/31/2008 4:35:09 AM | In New Zealand the favourite is 6
Which gets visitors into a fix
Pronounced sex or sux
It sounds like something else altogether which can't be written here
But then, that's how they get their kix. | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 5/31/2008 4:25:39 PM | when fishing the pond, take one
even though two could be fun
fish are slippery things
but it really stings
to be the one left lying in the sun | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 6/1/2008 6:15:05 AM | This pond is a most wonderful space
With shoals of fishies all over the place
Been swimming around here
For more than a year
Without finding one with a similar face | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 6/1/2008 7:19:55 AM | my pole's in the water unbaited
a romance right now must be fated
if he's reading my writing
then he might be biting
if not then I'll live life undated
 | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 6/1/2008 12:16:21 PM | As you get older it's hard to be choosy
but the last couple of fish were a doozy
so I'm guarded, I know
but a repeat would blow
if I again end up with a floozy | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 6/1/2008 5:00:03 PM | since I'm apathetic, at best
I'm giving dating a rest
last romance fell apart
it was lacking some heart
I just couldn't feel, I confess
 | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:52:18 AM | I've met quite a few who just went away
And I've had a couple of offers I must say
But I'm not one of those biddies
Who'll play with the kiddies
I want one of my own age who'll stay | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 6/2/2008 11:42:03 AM | Perhaps an aquarium is what you need
then they can't get away, indeed
they'll have to stay
you'll have it your way
so long as you remember to feed | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 6/2/2008 3:20:51 PM | But that would be like what the Austrian did
his little fish he securely hid
pretty sick
off with his dyck
there's just some things you don't do with a kid
They should cut it off in the public square
the cruelty of it makes me pull my hair
let him bleed out
the god-dammed lout
and even that would not be fair | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 6/2/2008 5:36:34 PM | but I digress, I am afraid
sorry for the little tirade
let's keep it light
a fanciful flight
let's unmake the bed I've made | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:01:15 PM | I came here on a mission
to do some serious fishin'
I pulled out my pole
put the line in the hole
and now I'm just sittin' here wishin'
Fishing can be so soporific
until you land one, that's terrific
but lo and behold
if at the end of your pole
its a bottom-dweller that's horrific
and if you catch a stinker
hook line and sinker
you can't throw it back
I'm sorry Jack
that is a certain shrinker | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:01:47 PM | Unreading perhaps of signs to be read
Flagged in begginning those colours of red
Dating dream like hidden desires unseen
Idealistic not could be evident forseen
Ah, but listening takes work to that been said.
Thrill of the road unheeded curb sign!
That for the feeble lacking of spine!
Motor accelled to the top of limit!
Curves sailed about tires a spin it!
Sports car crashed again over centre line!
Dusted off wallett and dust from ensue
Car dealership to next shiny car to pursue
Treacherous cliff tops round dangerous curve
Thrill of the moment screeching tire swerve
Without any break or brake apply 'nor a clue. | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 6/2/2008 7:46:19 PM | did you know that a google is a number so perverse
greater than the particles in the whole universe
so what is there a google of you inquire
well if you had seventy singers in the choir
its the number of ways they could be dispersed
(that's 70! factorial) | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 6/3/2008 6:43:23 AM | And there's more of this stuff to perplex you
When somebody offers to googleplex you
Where anyone not frugal knows
It's one with a google of 00000s
Dr Kasner, 1984 inventor, we respex you.
A google is an octillion vigintillion
a vigintillion = 1000 novemdecillions
a novemdecillion = a nonillion nonillion
a nonillion = 1000 octillion
an octillion = a trillion quadrillion
a quadrillion = 1000 billion
and I simply have too much time on my hands to collect trivia like this. | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 6/3/2008 7:01:05 AM | A limerick based on a number.
Could I have written one dumber?
I'm sure that I will,
It won't take any skill
If I'm deprived of any more slumber. | |
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| POF Limericks
Posted: 6/3/2008 1:36:13 PM | Margot, you've got me outdone
I thought I was the only one
to present the new math
in rhyme, but you hath
surpassed me by umteenthillion | |
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