| Is oral sex on the first date a killer?
Posted: 1/6/2007 6:52:13 AM | | Is oral sex a killer on a first date? Yes it is. Any kind of sex is a killer on the first date. Not many people want to plan a serious relationship and a home and marriage with a male or female whore. | |
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| Is oral sex on the first date a killer?
Posted: 1/6/2007 7:11:41 AM | You may be fun for the first date, but not the type of girl he wants to bring home to mom or marry.
As for safer? Oral sex can be very dangerous, you can get genital herpes of the mouth, much different than cold sores.
Picture a giant oozing sore and scabs all over your face!!!! Yes it happens...
You really need to take a long hard look at your lifestyle, if you really care, as it seems you do. You are playing rusian roulette... | |
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| Is oral sex on the first date a killer?
Posted: 1/6/2007 7:29:15 AM | I usually never post on this site, but this really caught my eye and the need to respond is here. I don't know if oral sex on the first date is a killer or not, but speaking from my own experience I can tell you that I had a guy proform oral sex on me on our first date and he asked me to marry him. We were married 8 yrs and together for 11 yrs so it didn't kill anything for me. Ironicaly he was the first person I had ever let do that to me on our first date so I don't have a bunch of issue or experience with this type of thing. All I can really say to you is be yourself, and if sexual pleasures are what you are feeling then go with it, once we start second guessing ourselves we are loosing ourselves. You are who you are and there is nothing wrong with that. With that being said oral or intercourse are still risky buisness because sexually transmitted diseases spread both ways so just be careful with your mouth and your body.
Ciao.....Diva | |
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| Is oral sex on the first date a killer?
Posted: 1/30/2007 9:46:23 PM | This one I just could not pass up. My apologies ahead of time to any of you who may be offended by this opinion.
First things first. There are a 1000 ways to have 1000 kinds of sex on a 1000 kinda dates between people who know each other in a 1000 differnt ways before said date. There is no way to cover them all so I am just run through a few of the most common generalities. Guaranteeing that someone can Johnny Cochran me into lookin wrong if they try hard enough. So here are my opinions right or wrong as they may look.
It doesn't matter what you do on the first date. The goal is not a ritual dance to see who is the bigger conformist or anarchist. It's to get to know one another and decide if you are compatable for further time together. Period. Sex or no sex absolutely no difference. It is not WHAT you do (sex or no sex) but WHY YOU DO IT AND HOW! Key word "WHY"?
If you are doing things because you are insecure an feel invaluable or unimportant or insignificant an sex is a quick fix to make you feel wanted an worthy, then you should not be on a date in the first place so the sex or not question is preempted by you shouldn't be there in the first place. You need to go work on you not be lookin for someone to take hostage in your nightmare.
Two secure, understanding, rational, intelligent human beings havin sex on the first date cuz they both want to an then using that experience along with all the others to decide if they are compatible. Hala frekin luya about time people started gettin thier heads outta the dark ages. More power to ya.
You have a history of attractin liars an they will say anything you wanna hear an once they get what they want they take off an you think it's about you gave away sex too soon? Uh... no. If you attract liars on a consistent basis. That's YOU not them. That's your broken picker not the fault of the sexual act.
Your a virgin an the celibate priest (who either is or isn't, seems to be lot's who aren't popping up these days) told you to wait till ya get married and find out what sex is after you make the biggest commitment of your life? Seeing as how sexuality is such a huge part of how we define ourselves, what is the point of marrying a woman who has yet to define herself? The virginity law is left over from when love had absolutely nothing to do with marriage. Most marriages were arranged and virginity was a commodity. Virginity had nothin to do with values or morality. It had to do with you are gonna be a mans property and he doesn't want you tainted (as he sees it).
Free milk an a cow. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? This is the prostitute platform of sexual politics. Not only is it about totfortat, It's about "Do what I say" and manipulative control in order to overcompensate for insecurity an low self esteem. Most of us are grown up sexual beings. We understand there are people we like sex with an there are people we love and whenever possible its a hella reward when we can combine the two. A reasonable person does not define the love of another person based on sex. Or base sex strictly upon love. Sex is only part of the equation. If you think withholding sex is going to make someone love you then you are due a very uncomfy wakeup call.
On closing I will just point out that sex has been around about 200 times longer than morals. Long before society or religion or language or some author write a book about the rules of dating, long before any of that, sex was already very well evolved into the DNA which makes you up. Sex is the most natural act there is. Right there with eating and sleeping. It is hard wired into us and it has huge influence over our lives. So trying to apply a moral code based upon a religion or a social fashion trend of pier pressure is a doomed proposition. To loose yourself in the heat of the moment is absolutely the most natural thing there is in life. It is my feeling that the only influence which society should have over it is try no tto hurt anyone in doing it. Let it be completely conceptual and by completely I mean well informed. No lies used in order to steal or manipulate that consent.
Our society has overcomplicated sexuality due to restrictive and destructive morality codes which our ancestors were intellectually enslaved with at threat of death so they could be more easily controlled by the powers of church an state. This is not to say that I do not believe in a universal intelligence which permeates all of reality. It is simply to say that consensual and personal sexuality and passion cannot be legislated by moral codes which go in complete contradiction to the primal instincts of us all without serious internal conflict.
As we all saw in the blue lagoon ( I am about to choke on this reference but it does work) if you grow up outside of sexual repression then sex is just a natural event. It comes without shame or guilt. Only when you ad repression to it do you get the crazy perversions and shame and guilt an so on. Once again, you cannot ethically enforce morality prohibition. Prohibition of anything just creates a black market. we all understand the black market of sexual prohibition. We all deal with it every day. Well it is't the preacher who is touting the virtues of prohibition who is gonna save the day. Cuz he is the one causing all the prollems in the first place.
It's the person who stands up fro freedom of choice and accepts the world is a hard enough place to be without hurting others with ridiculous, harmful, negative morality codes of prohibitions against natural acts.
Oral sex on the first date doesn't harm anyone. Standing there pointing at someone engaging in it and preaching how it is sick an bad an harmful and shameful an guilt ridden ...... THAT is the inexcusable act. If there is one thing that will keep women in the dark ages it's pointing the finger at each other and yelling slutbag. Divide an conquer. Well ladies, you were divided long long ago an have been brainwashed into helping the cult brainwash and thus conquer your sisters and daughters into a life of shame, guilt and lonelyness.
Stand up for each others freedoms an you will be standing up for your own happyness.
Once again, my apologies to the self appointed Kapos and morality gaurds for allowing the prisoners to see there is no fence around this prison.
My humble apologies to anyone who has been offended.
Sincerely
Scary Dave | |
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| Is oral sex on the first date a killer?
Posted: 2/8/2007 10:42:59 AM | First of all.. anyone who is setting themselves up with pre-packaged judgments are already doomed. Its like: Should you kiss on the first date?....
The whole idea of a first date is spending time with a person you could eventually have a connection with... it will either "go fast' , "go slow" or not go at all.. who the heck cares.. as long as it goes!
NEVER EVER GO ON A DATE WITH EXPECTATIONS.... IF YOU DO, MURPHYS LAW WILL APPLY!
JUST GO WITH THE FLOW. KEY WORD: FLOW
I have gone on a blind date and within 4 hours we were passionately sexing it up and it lasted 5 years and then ive been on a third date where I had to plant a juicy kiss on him.....
just to get his attention. It lasted 3 months...
so like Nike... just do it!
Expectations and judgments are reserved for the pearly gates.
ok.. I will step off my soap box now.
purplekyss@hotmail.
giggling' | |
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| Is oral sex on the first date a killer?
Posted: 3/8/2007 7:56:34 PM | | Wow,what a woman...feels guilty about having sex too early...I mean,going to a guys house is asking for trouble. If a woman wants to go to my place it usually means she is open to making out. I mean I have never pushed myself on anyone,but if someone goes to my place they are on my turf,ya know...then there is the other way around,if I go to her place,then I am on her turf. Now what you do on each other's turf will affect where your relationship will go afterwards. Sometimes I have felt guilty and other times it felt right if there were commitments afterwards | |
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| Is oral sex on the first date a killer?
Posted: 4/25/2007 10:55:19 PM | "Seems to me that religion preaches sex for anything other than procreation is immoral ."
Where does it say that in the Bible? There are some sex without marriage is a no no but I have yet to find recreational sex being a no no inside the marriage. Personally I want to make sure everything is compatible before I go into another marriage.
Cheers!
Mark | |
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Bast64
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Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 135 | |
| Is oral sex on the first date a killer?
Posted: 4/25/2007 11:25:06 PM | Hello there, God you're really battling with yourself aren't you? Just try and keep things in perspective.
Look at it this way and ask youself a few questions:
1. Is the world goining to end because of your actions last night?
2. Have you hurt or injured anyone because of last night?
3. Does anyone else know this guy or you well enough to broadcast the event across the web? And why the hell would they the same scenario is propably happening right now as I write this, to someone else in a part of the world.
4.Have you picked up any horrible diseases because of last night? This is the one that most bothers me most I think. Is your mouth still operational? Is your tongue still attached and the whole area hasn't ballooned to twice it's size?!!
What I'm trying to say is, okay what you did wasn't ideal for a first date and in my mind and through experience it never starts a decent relationship BUT it wasn't an act that will get you thrown into jail and it just left you feeling totally shit. So after all by your own actions who came out of this affected - YOU. Certainly not him by the sound of it, in fact you've done him a great service, he's now relieved for a while and very happy with it I should think!
My advice, if i'm allowed to offer it would be, it happened, let it go accept it but learn from it. You keep making the same mistake time and time again, how long will it take for you to realise you're not doing yourself any favours so stop doing it. Gather up all your strength next time you go a 1st date, play a little more hard to get and get through that evening WITHOUT going back to anyone's places and you may just have the start of something special. Who knows? If you give it so readily you will never command the respect you are really due.
You sound a nice person, don't treat yourself so badly. Have a good day whatever time it is over there and I hope I've helped a little bit. | |
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| Is oral sex on the first date a killer?
Posted: 4/25/2007 11:33:31 PM | Is oral, Is oral sex on the first date a killer? on the first date? It definitely reeks of slut, but I guess it depends on who your sucking off? I personally like a BJ on the first date.
But then there are some guys that would go Martha Stewart on ya and say they are saving themselves for Cinderella.
And why does some guy's have to write a book when answering a thread? What are they trying to prove, see how much unneeded BS they can type? I don't even read-em
to long and I get bogged down in the useless info......ta ta | |
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| Is oral sex on the first date a killer?
Posted: 4/26/2007 7:41:52 AM | Ok, well I have a huge sex drive also. What I have found is that if the guy is right and not a total ***hole it doesn't matter if you have sex within 10 minutes of meeting him, he will still respect you and want to date you. My last relationship we did this and we lasted almost two years, he had to move away that is the only reason why we broke up it was mutual. Well, if the guy is a total jerk even if you wait two months to have sex with him he probably still won't call you back after, he got what he wanted, finally, and now he is moving on. That is the difference, so it shouldn't matter. Just be careful and always use protection. And just have sex if you want to! DON'T beat yourself up over it! Have fun you only live once!  | |
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| Is oral sex on the first date a killer?
Posted: 6/11/2007 4:05:21 PM | | Well christina applegate wore granny panties she was too embarrassed for any guy to see on her date, on her last show, i forget what it was called, but that could work for you and if you're just too horny try masterbating before you go out, guys do it, or visit a good F*Ck Friend first... lol I'm funny.. and don't drink alcohol(stimulant). Stay in public or keep repeating in your head "I love grandma's apple pie" that should keep ur mind off sex, oral or otherwise. | |
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| Is oral sex on the first date a killer?
Posted: 6/11/2007 6:11:56 PM | I have never heard of any one dying because of it....
and thst tat guy above,,,says it reeks of slut. But, he likes getting a bj on 1st date. What a slut he is??? | |
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| Is oral sex on the first date a killer?
Posted: 6/11/2007 6:22:13 PM | | Umm Albertazangel....missed the part where she said she slept with every guy she met...unless you think oral sex is "sleeping" with someone....NOT | |
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| Is oral sex on the first date a killer?
Posted: 6/11/2007 6:38:19 PM | Hi
I read your message. I feel for you. I have been there and I think most other women on this site have been there. I think the key is not to go back to the persons home and not expect anything to happen. So on the first date I have learned even if its only been 2 weeks to not go back to my place or his place because as one other woman who probably answered here that he got what he wanted and doesn't need you anymore.
As for why you get upset when he continues to look for more single women he doesn't believe he is in a relationship cause you had oral sex. He doesn't care about you you were just a girl to get into bed. Sorry for the brutal honesty. I have been there and thats the truth.
MOVE ON AND DON'T GO BACK TO A PRIVATE PLACE AFTER THE FIRST DATE.
Make him wait for it. Most good guys seem to be able to wait a couple of dates before being intimate (by the way oral sex in my book is more intimate than intercourse) if they are interested in being in a relationship with you.
Good luck
Debbie | |
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| Is oral sex on the first date a killer?
Posted: 6/11/2007 6:50:14 PM | YES I BELIEVE IT IS A KILLER
There are alot of things to do
get to know each other
even if you do go to his place be prepared
to watch the movie only if he wants more
chances are thats all hes looking for
to have long term you need to get to know him before
intimacy and show him your worth before sex of any sort
the longer he waits the better  | |
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| Is oral sex on the first date a killer?
Posted: 6/11/2007 7:24:58 PM | Well Yea!. I didn't read your profile but from one of the posts it says your looking for long term, Guy's that aren't looking for that will use you for sex and run fast!. figure out what you want!!!. I would say get help, or at least a toy to take the place of a meaningless sex with guys you'll never see agian. This is breaking the "Guy code" for all the players out there, well guys f off. BTW I'm not a player I'm real what you see is what you get, yea I know it's not pretty, But I'll keep you laughin.
Dan | |
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| Is oral sex on the first date a killer?
Posted: 6/11/2007 9:02:50 PM | This might have already been said on this thread. If so, sorry for the repeat.
It doesn't matter what anyone else on this thread feels about what transpired on that date. It doesn't even matter what the guy thinks. It's what YOU think that matters. It's how YOU feel about yourself afterward. The most important relationship we will ever have in this lifetime is the relationship we have with OURSELVES.
If what you're doing causes you to "always feel like shit after the fact" (your words), then you need to stop doing it and try something else. People here can applaud you all they want - they're not the ones feeling like shit the next day, you are!
It's like asking your friends if you drink too much. Some will say yes, some will say no but your friends aren't the ones dealing with the remorse and the brutal hangovers. You are. They aren't living in your head the next day. Only you can decide if something just isn't working for you anymore. Only you can decide that you have "felt like shit" one time too many.
If what you're repeatedly doing is hurting YOU and doing a number on your self-esteem (it sounds like it is), then that's a problem for you. Again only you can decide what's good and what's not good for you.
All the best to you sweety. I hope I have helped. | |
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| Is oral sex on the first date a killer?
Posted: 6/11/2007 9:28:40 PM | What happened to the good old days when things started out with a hand job first  . Now they get right down to the nitty gritty..LOL. You need to have more control of yourself. You have to say to yourself you just are not going to do it. Making out on the first date probably isn't good either since it gets you all worked up. Lets face it, guys are horny little **stards. If you make any kind of move sexually. He's going to try and take it to home plate.  | |
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| Is oral sex on the first date a killer?
Posted: 6/11/2007 10:32:16 PM | Hmmm,...women expect guys to be open to that kind of activity, and I believe whatever two consulting adults do together is not immoral or wrong, as long as there is honesty on both parts. And unless the guy is dating many women at the same time, which might not be that difficult to do on a site like this, he may come back for more. But if/when he does come back for more the chances are better than not (I believe) that he will view it as a "booty call", if there's good chemistry it could become a "long term booty call". As much as a lot of men enjoy knowing, dating, or hanging out with women who will easily have casual sex with them, (and yes it's called "oral sex" because it's sex) they could and many would, assume the women has done it on a regular basis with many casual partners. Now obviously this would not bother all men, but I believe, and again not all, that the majority of them would not want this trait in a spouse for a long term or life partnership. I am absolutely not judging any persons here but merely stating views that I believe to be true more than not. Also, think men can be more jealous than women about these these issues, and can have a higher rate of double standards (than women). I also think, and I guess this is a given but hope i'm wrong, that posting this question in the first place, will be like a neon sign attracting a "booty" of all kinds of calls. To finish off i'd like to add, and it might be because of my age, but i'd rather meet and get to know one great life partner than a dozen booty calls.
I truly hope no one has been offended by any of my views as that is not my intent,
Bryson. | |
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