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| Do most women want too much for a relationship?
Posted: 3/3/2005 3:00:04 PM | I just wanted to add that each of us have a garden to tend to...we pull the weeds out, smooth the grounds, water the garden with love, nourishing, and food, we wait for the bloom of our first crops, we sit is awe, and look around at all the beauty it possesses. We miss the odd weed here and there or we do not completely pull them out because something tells not to. Eventually that weed will begin to grow and its seedlings will bounce all over and once again our garden becomes a tangled weed of web. One by one we get rid of the tangled mess and ask ourselves are we truly happy or just wanting way too much with high expectations!
When I read this thread many things came to mind because to me it so sad the world has taught us how to hate or resent because of mistakes we have made, both men and women I am talking about. Do we pull out the weeds or let them stay so they can control our thoughts and emotions. I know the question is directed at us women but the more I think about it both sexes go through the same ole things!
From some of the stories I did read here are the men wanting too much too? Or do we keep on tending our gardens on a daily basis and shower it with love, understanding, and joy? The more we tend to our own gardens the better it will be for us to find that next person who will want to be with me for me and vice versa! The longer we leave our gardens and not tend to them at all, the soil will get hard, our crops will die, and the weeds will continue blooming like crazy until we decide to clean up our gardens! Our gardens will than become really thirsty and before we know it something else has happened. Once that time comes to tend to my garden, I will have to pound and dig really hard to loosen the soil because it will than soften the ground! The ground would be so hard to loosen that I would have to keep digging and digging and at times this can be nasty or it can be for something better!
The more I carry my hatred or resentments into the next relationship, the bigger the load becomes for me! I drag it in to the next and before I know it my garden dies again! I would rather keep it blooming and bright and ask for what I want because to me, my own life is important too and if I were to follow and do exactly as told to, I would lose my identity! Once again I will say "No! I do not think wanting too much for a relationship exists in my world!" Or for that matter any body's because we all want goodness in a relationship!
I will finish with this....Do we want our past experiences to continue controlling us or are we willing to do something about it and realize we are not that bad at all. Each of us are going to make mistakes throughout our lives and if we continue these mistakes to control our way of thinking, are we really going to find that special someone? I for one would not want to sit in the negative side of things, I would rather move on and do not allow these to manipulate or control me any more! That is why the freedom of choice was given to us so that we can be happy and choose for ourselves what we want, not by what others want us to do! Our profiles are what sell us for future dating and possibly a relationship! | |
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| Do most women want too much for a relationship?
Posted: 3/3/2005 3:10:07 PM | | What I'm reading is that the couple has not established what kind of relation they want. Our profiles describe what we are looking for and deep down thats really what I want but the thought crosses my mind about experiencing different relationships for the interum. There are a lot of beautiful women's faces and minds. (It can get confusing, if not tempting) | |
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| Do most women want too much for a relationship?
Posted: 3/3/2005 5:02:58 PM | I am glad this topic was brought up..so often its typically women who have such high expectations of a mate.
Want to take it up a notch? How about those personal ads that sound like "Terrorist making demands" LOL.
The ad reeks of such negativity. Things like , "You BETTER not do this, or you MUST be this height, or or don't write me!!!!! Alot of "Musts" or "Better" are used...and it sounds so bad, the woman seems to have made herself out to be a *witch*
Sometimes a woman would list what she is like, in this example:
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So, what’s wrong with me?
I work too much, don’t have a lot of spare time, can be stubborn and might require a little high maintenance once in a while…
I am usually late, and can be grumpy in the morning. I expect nothing less than to be treated with the utmost respect. I give 2nd chances not too often. Well, if I were perfect I wouldn’t be here, would I?!
If you think you can put up with me, drop me a line, TTFN!!
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Wow, ending a personal ad with such maturity "If you think you can put up with me, email me" after listing her crappy attributes.
Wow, she's usually late, it's a shame that this one actually feels entitled to proper treatment, since she apparently doesn't give a crap about anyone else. Gosh forbid if her MAN is late.
That's like saying, "I'm rude, crude and selfish, but hey, I have my faults, accept me, or move on!" | |
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| Do most women want too much for a relationship?
Posted: 3/3/2005 5:30:04 PM |
The ad reeks of such negativity. Things like , "You BETTER not do this, or you MUST be this height, or or don't write me!!!!! Alot of "Musts" or "Better" are used...and it sounds so bad, the woman seems to have made herself out to be a *witch*
I see a LOT of WSM ads like that. Here's a classic from my area; 34, 5' 5", Hispanic, "athletic and toned."
STOP!!!! Read before winking or e-mailing......
Apparently there are a few people in this site who can't read...I get winks and e-mails from people who don't even match 10% of what I'm looking for.... I'm interesting in meeting someone who's clear about what he wants in life and knows what he's looking for in a relationship. Sense of humor is CRUCIAL...nothing sexier than an attractive-confident- funny man. I love kids but I WILL NOT date a man with a previous family... If you are looking for someone with brains/looks and personality…you found me. If you are the type who says you are looking for a woman with personality and then complaining about it, please don’t write. Also if you are the type who needs to be in CONTROL, just remember the things you try to control....control you. I'm passionate about a number of things: family, traveling, music, friends, food and my professional career. The man that will steal my heart has a combination of sense of humor and kindness. I consider myself loving and caring with a twist..... NEED NOT to respond: guys with poor manners, liars, control freaks, guys with "issues". If you are bitter because of a previous relationships, stay away. Don't wink if you have kids. If you are a player who's basically looking to meet chicks in this site to hook u. If you are a drug-users at any level..stay the hell away. I want to hear from someone attractive, in good shape, well-dressed, with a healthy sense of humor, willing to try new things, a man who won’t be intimidate by a strong woman.
Doesn't sound like someone I'd like to be around. "Strong women" doesn't mean demanding or negative.
Even then, I bet there are still some men responding. A LOT of men responding. We do have to be a bit more discriminating.
I wonder if there's a male equivalent - not just "no fat chicks heh heh heh" but something that what Vandelai described. | |
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| Do most women want too much for a relationship?
Posted: 3/3/2005 5:52:17 PM | I don't think so.
It just shows that the woman knows what she wants, which is more than most people can say.
I think that men and women SHOULD be choosy on their partner selection. | |
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| Do most women want too much for a relationship?
Posted: 3/3/2005 6:42:36 PM | The wonderful about the world is that we are not all alike!!
We all want and crave different things!! So what if u dont meet someones want list 4 a mate...move on find someone else...not everyone is meant 4 everyone!!
So whats the big deal?? | |
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| Do most women want too much for a relationship?
Posted: 3/3/2005 7:02:35 PM | Charming - are you moving out to toronto any time soon?
Seriously.
You make so much sense, but in a very creative way, using metaphors. You sould really be a writer, or a teacher. I can so see you as a teacher - and kids favorite too, cuz you actualy explain things in a way that is easy to understand.
As for the topic at hand, I do have a list, but it is not the kind most guys keep. It is ass follows:
1. Physically active - This does not necessarily mean "athletic" body type - just someone who actually does physical activity, be it the gym, sports, walking whatever.
2. Intelligent - I gotta be able to talk to her at an adult level.
3. Confident - I don't want a woman who is dependant on me for everything.
4. Charm/personality - The proverbial "spark". If there is nothing by the second date, then I tell her that it's not happening.
Everything else is negotiable. | |
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| Do most women want too much for a relationship?
Posted: 3/3/2005 7:10:17 PM | | That was another good point that was raised about some women's demanding attitudes. Who wouldnt be immediately turned off by such an attitude? All they do is come across as a total ****. Sure you have the right to be choosy and be entitled to someone in your category, but there's also a polite way to ask for it as well and there also reasonable limits to what you should expect from someone for a relationship. I remember one ad I saw by the woman that was so beautiful and perfect in her looks to be my type but she sounded so bossy and ****y by the way she demanded things like "make sure you know who you are and what want in life, no BS just the straight goods, have a positive attitude, passionate about giving 100% ..I just thought to hell with that. | |
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| Do most women want too much for a relationship?
Posted: 3/3/2005 7:41:12 PM | That was another good point that was raised about some women's demanding attitudes. Who wouldnt be immediately turned off by such an attitude? All they do is come across as a total ****. Sure you have the right to be choosy and be entitled to someone in your category, but there's also a polite way to ask for it as well and there also reasonable limits to what you should expect from someone for a relationship. I remember one ad I saw by the woman that was so beautiful and perfect in her looks to be my type but she sounded so bossy and ****y by the way she demanded things like "make sure you know who you are and what want in life, no BS just the straight goods, have a positive attitude, passionate about giving 100% ..I just thought to hell with that.
She's beautiful.....so she can get away with being a ****** , LOL. And she knows it too. | |
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| Do most women want too much for a relationship?
Posted: 3/3/2005 7:55:17 PM | | No matter how gorgeous a woman looks it doesnt give her the right to be a total b...h. And no matter how attractive or smart she is, if she has a bossy, bit..y attitude like that, just forget it. They should wonder why they're still single. | |
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| Do most women want too much for a relationship?
Posted: 3/3/2005 7:59:07 PM | Hell if u dont like what they r askin/lookin 4 then LEAVE THEM ALONE!!
Is it that hard??
U all r goin on and on about how bad that is...please bigger issues in life than if a woman is picky or whatever...its pathetic..be a man and stop bein butt hurt cause u dont meet up 2 her standards... | |
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| Do most women want too much for a relationship?
Posted: 3/3/2005 8:08:12 PM | I am outa herea because there is so much bashing going on in here...We are all great people inside and out, I just wish we could see past that dark and gray road and see the light at the end of the tunnel instead. I know the woman I am and as for anyone who shares that with me, they will be happy and content...I am not going to say that I am perfect because I am far from that...yes I am going to make my mistakes and yes I may have done things that hurt and that was a long time ago. As I got older the wiser I got and I learned so much about my own inner world. Planning to tend to my garden! "No!" That is my answer! Thank you Spankie! It is okay that you feel as you do, I just choose to not be a part of the bashing, and that is choice!  | |
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| Do most women want too much for a relationship?
Posted: 3/3/2005 9:13:33 PM | You're the only one who objected to it. It wasnt a big deal until you made it into one. By the way, I love your style of writing- very articlute and elegant prose, and excellent vocabulary. You must be a well educated, intellectual type.  | |
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| Do most women want too much for a relationship?
Posted: 4/24/2006 4:42:46 PM | I read an article the other day about online dating. If you are a man, you are 57% likely to never get a response to your online personals ad or response to your e-mails. Not one response...nothing..not even a glimpse. That should tell you all you need to know about how picky women are today. Online dating is a great thing for women, but it's a disaster to men who don't like hitting on women in bars.
The problem is that a lot of women have a "checklist" mentality. If it isn't 6'1-6'4, built like Michaelangelo's David, ripped abs, and have a ton of disposable cash, it isn't worth dating/getting to know. No exceptions.
The problem is that the guy that they could have had a lasting, meaningful relationship with, WAS an exception to the checklist mentality. They missed him because of the blinders they had on. | |
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exxess
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Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 49 | |
| Think of it like an employer placing a job posting.
Posted: 4/24/2006 5:03:03 PM | | When an employer has a job opening they will usually post with the job requirements as high as possible which they hope will land the best candidate. This is natural because they always aim high and have a minimum standard which they will accept. A number of factors can affect the outcome, the economy, job market, and availablity of qualified candidates. So now think of a woman as the employer and you as the job candidate. You submit your request and put your best foot forward and make the best sales pitch you can. Again your success will depend on the market. If this employer (the girl) is highly sought after, then there are going to be a lot of job applicants (single guys trying to date her). Naturally her job requirements are going to be quite extensive, she can pick and choose. Now suppose the employer( the girl) has had a job opening for quite some time now and there hasn't been many applicants or has set her requirements to high the job market. She will then have to lower her requirements to reflect the job market. So don't feel intimidated by high requirements apply anyways. With a strong economy and she's lucky to get 80% of what she asks for. I hope that helps you. | |
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| Do most women want too much for a relationship?
Posted: 4/24/2006 7:51:40 PM | I don't think we want too much.........WE JUST WANT IT ALL! Kidding of course...
I just happen to know what I want and don't want in a relationship....... Common guys, you all know what you want and don't want........ You judge the chemestry within the first so many minutes and onto the next one you go..... I'm not perfect by a long shot and I am not expecting perfection in a guy, cause that's being unrealistic, but geez, I'm not gonna settle for someone that is not right for me either......... | |
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