| My Ex : Five weeks from Separation to Suicide.
Posted: 9/15/2008 9:31:32 PM | | dear steven----believe me no one understands the grief of suicide unless they have been thru it. it was my son, frankie. he was madly in love with lauren. they spent all wakening hours together except when they were working. one night he went to pick her up from her job...she wasn/t there...so he looked all over town for her and found her in a motel. he did not come home that night but the next night his shoes -wallet and drivers license was on his dresser and he left home...and comitted suicide. my life changed that night as i thoght we had a perfect family. frankie could not see beyond his hand. i only want you to know that god needed him in heaven. be patient as life does go on. happiness will again prevail. barbara | |
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| My Ex : Five weeks from Separation to Suicide.
Posted: 9/15/2008 9:46:30 PM | Well this is just a sin and shame
But to the OP please seek help asap
You're still here and your life goes on
Go to grief counseling
In time if you find you really can't deal withe memories...
move
Start anew
Good Luck | |
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| My Ex : Five weeks from Separation to Suicide.
Posted: 9/15/2008 10:07:10 PM | Steven,
I am so sorry to hear of this bad news. I wish I could give you advise but I have never lost someone to suicide. I know this much don't blame yourself, because if someone takes their life as she did, there is no way you could have stopped it, sometimes we think we know how someone is feeling, but in reality we dont know the whole thing. I have been in the medical field all my life, and have a ex husband I lived with for 24 years that on a daily basis was depressed, and on medication it was difficult I wanted to understand but I couldnt because I was never a depressed person. I will be praying for you because the lord is the only one who can walk with you through this and he will be there for you in the middle of the night, when you just cant understand why, no matter what. The greiving period is tough but it must happen and when you are ready to come out of it just hold on tight because the lord will give you a peace that no one can give you. If you need a friend, I have a good ear, and no matter what time it is day or night please feel free to contact me. You can go to my profile and send me a personal email if you feel like you need a friend. Again there is no answers to something like this life can throw us some curve balls. | |
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| My Ex : Five weeks from Separation to Suicide.
Posted: 9/15/2008 10:13:20 PM | Ok, this is a disaster, very horrible and unfair..no use in couching the terms...however consider this...love never ends, you loved her and it didn't work but love is never wasted in this life or for the next..she was obviously mentally ill so there are limits in her ability to bond and give you any kind of life. It would be hell on wheels and she knew it. She didn't have the courage to go and live a full life..do her a great service and her memory some honor by being the best that you can be and look at life as the supreme gift that it is. Intense pain heals and you become a wounded healer...welcome to the club...benefits: life can and does get better and you will fear nothing, you have been through shit and everything else is just minor shit now.The rest is a piece of cake.
She will be taken care of by God who is eternal love and the answers will all come then...trust that God wants you to be happy despite all the tragedy that has happened and that you can be your real self...not by denial but by the humilty of knowing that we just can't control everything that goes on.
We can feel sorry for people but that is not a good reason to marry them. Being with a mentally ill person can make you feel mentally ill by osmosis. Depression is one of the hardest demons to fight..worse than anything because it suck the soul out of everyone around and is impossible to totally cure. Don't blame her, don't blame yourself..don't blame God..there is no totally getting over things but you get through it because you have a higher purpose...giving up is not an option for the rational man. What you are experiencing after this shock is normal...don't try and shut out the feelings, ride them
and let them go, you will get stronger and clearer..just be patient and go through the stages of healing and most of all don't try and fix the void with a relationship until you have done the inner work. I know what I am talking about.Believe me I made all the mistakes so I know what not to do..be with yourself first and foremost. Ask for God's help..it will be there.
J | |
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| My Ex : Five weeks from Separation to Suicide.
Posted: 9/15/2008 10:15:26 PM | | I am going to be honest with you.. I can't tell you its going to be okay because for a while its not. but I can tell you it wasnt your fault. She hada choice. I am dealing with big things in my life. Not as big of yours ofcourse but what I can tell you is you'll be okay in a while. you aren't messed up. You didnt do anything you didnt force her to do it. It will all get better in time. if you need a shoulder I am here. whether its just as a person or a friend. I know suicide. I lost my best friend to suicide . I lost a brother in law to suicide. I know... I am still not over it. and its been a while. I grew up with the best friend I have known him since preschool. it isnt easy. but Iam here | |
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| My Ex : Five weeks from Separation to Suicide.
Posted: 9/15/2008 10:49:21 PM | | At the risk of being called insensitive all I can say is what a croc! Go off and blame yourself, if this really happened, and see how far it gets you. If in fact she stepped in front of a train like you said, she was beyond help and was only trying to put a bunch of people on a guilt trip. Which is a form of mental disease thats incurable. Now you paint a picture thats supposed to make me shed dragon tears for your alleged distress. Go talk to a shrink, whether this really happened or not as you need professional help either way. | |
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| My Ex : Five weeks from Separation to Suicide.
Posted: 9/16/2008 3:26:22 PM | | hello you sorry to hear what has happened to all of the people involved , i left my ex after 20 years whose sister commited suicide and his mum tried .i had years of living with that illness and his threats of suicide and finally realised ,its not my fault ,nor yours so please live a positive and fulfiled life because she would have done it anyway xx | |
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| My Ex : Five weeks from Separation to Suicide.
Posted: 9/17/2008 8:44:01 PM | Even though the OP is no longer a pof er
There is something everyone can take from this Thread !
Humanity is warranted and needed always !
When it comes to matters of the Heart there is no rom for manipulation or games .
Love hurts and for Some so does living .
With out the Heart What would we have or be .. The heart is Love ''then comes the rest .
Also ''Mental health is very Serious business 'Depression is what it is .
Hopefully when Life gets to Big or problems get to big Or the Storms in
your Life are too big and too painful for you
'There is always your Faith to count on and Believe in .
Right ?
Preparation for the trials and storms that Life hands us Sometimes 'is only found
in a Supernatural Power .
Dont wait til you are in trouble and suffering to know Jesus Loves you 'to know the word !
The Biblical writings and teachings is the best medicine in any Heartache ' or crisis .
And yes even times of Gratitude . His Grace and his Love is ours for the taking .
God Bless Everyone with his Love and Grace !
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| My Ex : Five weeks from Separation to Suicide.
Posted: 9/22/2008 8:27:15 AM | Amen Sister,
All we can ask is how to move on, I've found my real family through this. On;y God can understand or explain. we just need to live...and ya know what? we CAN and Will!!! | |
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