YEAIDD
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Joined: 4/7/2006
Msg: 126 | |
| Have you had to BURY one of your kids?
Posted: 10/19/2006 10:00:41 AM | Im not sure....I dont think it will be that easy. Anthony is also MY middle name, and her husbands middle name as well as MY SONS middle name  | |
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YEAIDD
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Joined: 4/7/2006
Msg: 127 | |
| Have you had to BURY one of your kids?
Posted: 10/19/2006 10:02:05 AM | | Ok so im not coming from outter space on this one by being a little irritated. I have not brought it up to her and like I said...I heard it from my mom, not my sister. | |
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needz
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Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 128 | |
| Have you had to BURY one of your kids?
Posted: 10/19/2006 10:03:14 AM | My condolances to you. I have not personally lost a child. But I he lost my 11 month old nephew, he was murdered in 97. That was hrd enough but it does get easier in time... | |
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| Have you had to BURY one of your kids?
Posted: 10/19/2006 10:42:58 AM | | SOOOOOOOOOO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS--I had twins as well, boys, one lived 2 hours, the other has a mild form of cp. They were identical, breech, and a month early. As long as I live I will never forgive the doctor, had he just done a c-section they would both be here and fine today. We are supposed to forgive and forget--bull++++ --not this time doc. | |
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| Have you had to BURY one of your kids?
Posted: 10/19/2006 5:18:09 PM | | My cousin died one year ago today and he was my aunts only child. I know how hard it was for her to do it but I couldn't imagine burying my daughter. | |
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| Have you had to BURY one of your kids?
Posted: 10/19/2006 9:14:03 PM | | I look at being named after some one in the family as an honor, am named after my grandfather, my daughter has my grandmas second name, would be honored if someone in the family thought enough to name a child after my daughter that passed away. Yes there is only one of her and she can never be replace and I don't look at it like that, more as a way for her name to live on. YEAIDD did you check out the poem I put in here called a child of mine? It was gave to me two years ago now about this time of year actually, and it still brings a tear to my eyes sometime when I read it | |
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YEAIDD
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Joined: 4/7/2006
Msg: 132 | |
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| Have you had to BURY one of your kids?
Posted: 10/21/2006 11:42:04 PM | | It can be done in the male tense also, I took and framed mine and put a pic of my daughter with it, hangs on the wall where I can see it every day | |
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| Have you had to BURY one of your kids?
Posted: 10/22/2006 12:04:04 AM | No I have never had to bury one of my kids and I couldn't imagine life if I had to, I just wouldn't want to live myself. I have had to bury 2 brothers one due to suicide and one in a car accident caused by a drunk driver, that is a very hard thing to get over and probably never will. Both my parents have had a very hard time with this, my Dad said this isn't the way it's suppose to be your'e kids aren't suppose to die before you.
A big part of a parent must go when they lose a child ...I just really can't imagine life without my children  | |
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| Have you had to BURY one of your kids?
Posted: 10/22/2006 5:57:11 PM | I have had 5 children. My second child who was a girl was diagnosed with ALL leukemia.(Acute Lympho-Blastic Leukemia) She was 3 1/2 months old when she was diagnosed and she passed away at 20 1/2 months old. Buring a child is the hardest thing I have ever had to do as a parent. I just thought I would post a comment about my life. I am 29 and a single parent or four other healthy children. Losing a child anyway is hard, but there is life after death. I know thats harsh but if it weren't for these hard life experiences how would anyone especially parents learn from life itself. I know now that I have experienced a life changing thing like this , not to take things for granted anymore, that life comes and goes faster than we expect and you never know when your loved one will be taken from you. So enjoy, laugh and, be thankful for everyday with everyone. Life is too short to hate or be hated.
Good luck to all of you who are still grieving. Be strong and be thankful no matter how sad you are!!
Thanks for taking the time to read this...
Julie | |
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| Have you had to BURY one of your kids?
Posted: 10/22/2006 6:07:13 PM | YEAIDD...I am very sorry for your loss and now the custody battle.....
I am very confused here with the way things have been dealt with in you rsituation and others I have read here......
I am from canada and when anyone passes away in the home there is a automatic investigation and autopsy done.....it is not requested, it is just done.....I know of 3 cases personally where this has happened......
Also the judicial aspects of child custody regarding both you and .csimonds....even though you are not married to the mothers, you are named as the father, the child carries your name, voila.....you are the legal father of this child.....no if, and's , or buts......if you have any proof what-so-ever that the mother is un-fit any judge in his right mind should give you custody....and if not I would fight my hardest if i were you......
didn't think the laws differed so much between the two countries
I did not loose a child myself but was there for two of my sisters who did......
the first one was 9 yreas ago, she was 16 and was killed in a drunk driving accicident.....my sister and her other children were devestated as was the rest of us.....this girl was more like a baby sister to me than a niece.....and since this has happened I have become even closer to my sister because I am someone she can still talk to about her daughter without trying to avoid the discussion......
The second one was only two years ago when my sister found her 21 year old on his apartment floor in a position where she thought he was just asleep but when she checked he was already cold and blue. her and her husband are having a very difficult time...expecially the husband......they are still griefing profusly.......
I feel grief counsoling is the best way to deal with it....this way you have an outside person looking at it and can give you a different perspective.....I even went to deal with my niece because I was so angry at the driver os the vehicle she was in.....
Eventually the anger and pain will turn into good sweet memeories of your child.....
May God Bless you and may your healing journey be a positive onel..... | |
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| Have you had to BURY one of your kids?
Posted: 10/25/2006 7:01:14 PM | Three years ago this Dec
I bury my son he was my baby 22 years old he was awesome great smile fanatic heart where ever he went he made people laugh even when he was bad you couldn’t help but laugh at him
I called him the prince of hearts
It doesn’t matter how he died or who’s takes on the blame
All that matters is he gone never coming back and that kind of sadness can never be coped with
I got a good therapist dint help people who have not closed their child’s eyes for last time cannot understand the silence
Threads like these are good because a lot of us have been there and we know how each other feel
I am sorry for all your loses and know how painful and sad it is. How it can ripe a familys love apart. I not only lost my son I lost my family.
Someone said one day at time I agree. Some days it is one moment at time.
Somedays there not even a moment.
I started a memory book gathering everything and putting it together some days I can do 3 or 4 pages then have stop for long time. By doing this I hope to preserve his memory so nobody ever forgets who he was and how much we loved him.
By talking about it we are coping so never stop talking.
And to each one of our angels I say
Fly highhhhhhh butterrrrrrflyyyyyyyyy
Till we meet again
On angel wings
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| in regards to mopegunz post
Posted: 10/26/2006 11:46:35 PM | | yes therapy but talking to people u have no obligation to shield yourself from helps. when its someone close u dnt let them in,see u cry, let em think ur healed, but its nice to be able to talk to ppl and just let it all out, ive dealt with death, not of my own children but of my friends daughter, she was one, she had such a hard time dealing with her death but put up a front that she was okay, then she started talkin on online support groups.trust me they help. do what u feel in your heart no one else can tell you how to heal or cope but they can always help you | |
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| Have you had to BURY one of your kids?
Posted: 11/8/2006 7:55:27 PM | I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I haven't lost a child, but when I was in high school, my best friend lost her six month old baby from a tylenol overdose. I babysat for her and visited often, so the loss was very close to me. For years, I couldn't stand to be around children. When I had my son, I worried myself sick until he was six months old...now I just worry all the time, but I'm not sick.
There is a counseling group call "New Beginnings". They've helped some people I know in dealing with losses. Also, contact your doctor or the nearest clinic and see about free counseling groups so you can talk to other adults who have gone through the same thing. If you don't want to do it for yourself, at least do it for the children you still have. They will need you sooner than you think. When they grow up, they'll see who wronged them. Let them know you're there for them no matter what, and you can't be there if you don't take care of yourself.
Best Wishes | |
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| Have you had to BURY one of your kids?
Posted: 12/30/2006 5:16:49 AM | I have had more losses in my life than most, happily though, my children were not one of them.
What greater loss could be felt then the loss off a child.They are why we are here, and for most, our greatest asset.
There is a reason why things happen, a reason why we are put through pain and suffering for the loss we have had.Understanding those reasons is never easy, always painfull, and is importantin the healing process.
I am truly sorry for your loss, and just by reading your profile, understand that here is a woman who has faced one of lifes greatest challenges, won, and now makes the world for the rest of us, a better place.
"Don't think of them as missing, for there journey has just begun.
Life holds so many facests, this life is just but one."
dave | |
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| Have you had to BURY one of your kids?
Posted: 12/30/2006 8:03:19 AM | | Omg, I read this thread and realized that from the age of the Op the child must have been very young indeed..and to be killed by his mother? Omg, I would have trouble coping too! Luckily, I have not been in this position and I pray non of my kids die before me, but i can just imagine what an ordeal it must be for you Op...my prayers...... | |
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| Have you had to BURY one of your kids?
Posted: 12/30/2006 8:44:34 AM |
"Don't think of them as missing, for there journey has just begun.
Life holds so many facests, this life is just but one."
That was beautiful! Even though it has been over two years now since I buried my father, I still think of him as missing. I really needed that! I read your profile. I cannot begin to imagine what it is like to lose a spouse at such a young age. Kudos to you for finding the strength to carry on for your four children! | |
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| Have you had to BURY one of your kids?
Posted: 12/30/2006 9:08:36 AM | | The coping with the death of one of your children, is never an easy thing. I lost my first son as well. It has been 16 1/2yrs now, the pain has deminished over the yrs, but the hurt is still there. The hardest part in the coping was when my other children were borne, scared to death that I could possible lose them as well. Seeking help and support is good, but because everyone grieves and copes in they own way, their is no right or wrong answer. All I can say is that the best thing I did, was get a tattoo done in his memory, and as the tattoo was being done, I could feel the weight being lifted of my shoulders, my son is always there and not just in memories. | |
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| Have you had to BURY one of your kids?
Posted: 12/30/2006 10:29:08 AM | | YEAIDD....I'm so sorry for what you had to go through....it must be a tough time for you....in this world...we are parents are not suppose to lose our children before us...that's not how it's suppose to work...Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you....as you get through this horrible time..... | |
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| Have you had to BURY one of your kids?
Posted: 12/30/2006 6:56:36 PM | I must say ....... that I just wanted to share this song
"Alyssa Lies" by Jason Michael Carroll
I heard it the other day while driving....almost had to pull over!
MICHAEL, seeing your circumstances, I think you especially might like this song.
Best of wishes to all of you, and may you heal | |
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| Have you had to BURY one of your kids?
Posted: 12/30/2006 7:17:56 PM | | OMG! I saw the video to that song after being awakened by it coming on the radio. I just stopped what I was doing, and couldn't help but to wonder how many kids have gone through my classroom that I did not know were being abused. I have called social services on a couple; that was a very hard but necessary thing to do. | |
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| Have you had to BURY one of your kids?
Posted: 12/30/2006 7:56:27 PM | I am very sorry for your loss. I have never had to bury a child, and I hope I never have to.
A real good friend of mine from highschool that I had known for 10 years was murdered on March 14 of this year. We lost touch though. I kind of regret that. She had children I had a child and kinda slipped away. She was one of the most decent people I have ever met and a fantastic mother. Sick people in this world. She had met a guy (not the childrens father) and he ended up being a monster. Luckily the kids were sleeping or Id be afraid of what he would have done to him. I now have trust issues though. Dont know who to trust anymore. I havent even worked up enough courage to see her father. She was an only child. I took my son out for halloween and he lives like a few blocks from me and I couldnt even take my son there. Its horrible. I just dont want to believe it happened, I just CANT believe it happened. She was so perfect... I just cant stop thinking of her family and her children over the holidays, first holidays without their mother..
Im so sorry.. | |
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