| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 11/27/2007 4:47:51 PM | I think people get more picky as they get older, but that's just because they are wiser!
I don't think i'm too picky but I would rather be single & happy than with the wrong person & miserable!
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 11/27/2007 4:57:08 PM | No, I don't think people are too picky. I have high standards and will not lower them just becuase I decided to see whats out there online. If you lower your standards you will not be happy or be in a relationship where the other person can't meet your needs. I would rather be by myself than with someone who I am not happy with or want something from them that they can't give to me.  | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 11/27/2007 6:43:47 PM | What is "too picky", exactly? Is it wanting what you want and not settling for anything else? If that's the case, then I guess I'm one of those people too. These days, marriages are no longer decided by your parents, women work and make as much money (if not more) than men, the whole dynamics and living conditions have changed for both sexes, and so have the rules.
So, in my opinion, this is why people tend to take less crap. They raise their standards and expect more. And that's just fine. It's better to be alone, than ill accompanied. | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 11/27/2007 6:50:34 PM | That's a tough one! Sometimes I think I am... but then I end up with a "loser" and it seems to show me that I must not be picky after all... lol.
Well... actually, all my last relationships were with people that "just happened"... I wasn't looking, it just sort of came about. But, EVERYTIME I'm looking (like I am now), I never seem to be able to run across a guy that fits at least 50% of what I'm looking for... and if I do, then I'm not HIS type.
SIGH... I guess the answer to the question in my opinion, is yes... people are too picky, but that'll never change I'm sure. | |
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dsj34
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Joined: 11/1/2007
Msg: 430 | |
| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 11/27/2007 7:49:04 PM | No, I don't think people are too picky. I have high standards and will not lower them just becuase I decided to see whats out there online.
What is "too picky", exactly? Is it wanting what you want and not settling for anything else?
Many people have made these types of statements on this thread. It is okay to have high standards when you meet the requirements that you want your potential date to meet. Otherwise what you want is much different than what you are realistically able to get. Like some other posters have stated, it is okay NOT to settle when you have realistic expectations. It seems like the people with the high and/or unrealistic expectations are often the same people who complain about not finding a date. Some people will start a thread complaining about their lack of success of POF. When I look at their profiles, they often have a long list of unrealistic requirements. | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 11/27/2007 8:31:18 PM | Am I too "picky"?...Hmmm...
I've never been married, most of my relationships were casual at best, I come home when I want to, and I've gotten very used to sleeping in my bed diagonally, while hogging all the blankets and pillows...
Oh, and I drink milk from the jug and ONLY the jug!
I don't think I'm "picky"...insomuch as being set in my ways! | |
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Rakeli
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Joined: 6/14/2007
Msg: 432 | |
| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 11/27/2007 8:44:48 PM | I believe it is more than about being picky. In general most of us not all, already have in mind the type of person they would like to one day marry.
A picture is not enough, but for example I prefer someone without tattoos, or piercings, if his picture shows that obviously I probably won't pursue getting to know that person.
In the same way, a guy may see my picture, and think "Round Face" better not contact her because she is not thin, and I only want a thin girl.
I prefer to stay single if I can't find someone like-minded then to regret my choices. I would like to meet a man with heart, but even that is hard to find.......
So I think that I am picky, I know I am average looking, but I do have standards, and prefer to one day wait for that great guy that also had morals, if I don't find him then at least I know it was probably because I WAS Picky and not so much because a man did not like me. It would be my own doing, and I could not blame anyone else. | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 11/27/2007 8:47:58 PM | I want to be treated with the same respect, friendship and honesty I give.
To expect and supply chemistry and communication with a partner.
To take my time and ensure a person's words and actions match.
That's caring about myself and others- not being picky! | |
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-GQ4U
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Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 434 | |
| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 11/29/2007 12:47:17 PM | | Im picky but not too picky, No point in lowering my standards because it wouldnt be fair to the woman I lowered my standards to be with, | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 12/1/2007 5:45:33 AM | | I used to think I wasn't but as I get older....and realize I'm still single and never been in a serious LTR....I'm thinking maybe I am. But if I settled for someone I wasn't really attracted to..I'd be miserable. | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 12/4/2007 11:37:53 AM | | I don't think so, people just know what they want and what they don't want. For instance I hate liars, cheaters, thieves, women beater, control freaks the list goes on. I don't see that being picky just setting some standards. I know what I deserve! | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 12/4/2007 12:19:34 PM | "I don't think so, people just know what they want and what they don't want. For instance I hate liars, cheaters, thieves, women beater, control freaks the list goes on."
But there are so many that like all of those characteristic 
My motto
“Keep your standards low, and your hopes high.”  | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 12/4/2007 12:48:32 PM | | Why keep low standards. If I lowered my standards I end up with guys who have baggage, hard drug users, guys who think its okay to flirt or hang out with girls who flirt, and old guys!! We need standards keeping your hopes up will only make you bitter in the end. I'm not settling for any guy or a guy who has the things I want nothing to do with. I never want kids and its mandatory that the guy is for abortion and not to want kids in life. | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 12/4/2007 1:56:22 PM | Why should anyone lower their standards?
No it's not being picky wanting to meet someone who meets the standards you have set.
It is silly to say those standards are unrealistic , just because we have trouble finding the right person.
Lowering of standards ultimately leads to us regreting things later...and life is way too short for regrets.
Perfection does not exist sure...but that does not mean we should have to except anyone who comes along, just so we aren't alone.
It is far better to be alone and happy, than with the wrong person and miserable!!! | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 12/4/2007 1:59:11 PM | Picky to a point.
But somethings you can't base off of the net.
When I say picky to a point I mean you obviously have a choice first right off the bat at how someone looks. (LADIES CALM YOURSELVES LET ME EXPLAIN) As you age you tend to build this "Oh I don't like the looks of that person" type sense. You know you spot someone and you just get that "feeling" and I'll tell ya I get the feeling for a lot of women. Maybe it's just my history and the crap I've gone through but I just see it....can't explain it.
I know women get that too cause well lets face it, I've been given the look before....probably cause I'm always laughing or look like I'm up to no good.
But anyways to continue. You have standards, and if you didn't abide by them you'd pick up the average joe walking down the street daily....yes/no?
I'd say if it's something very small ya let it pass, perhaps that one thing that irks you could be replaced by some amazing quality he or she has that you'll absolutely love. I've looked past things before, pleasantly surprised too. I'm just saying, sometimes making a small acception is worth it.
So, be picky.....to a point. | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 12/25/2007 10:51:01 AM | Why not be Picky? It's a long ride into the future and sure don't want anyone boring ,where I have to jump out of the ride and no one to catch me ! When it gets bumpy  | |
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jf468
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Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 443 | |
| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 12/25/2007 11:20:37 AM | | Yes. Of course people should have some standards and requirements, but I think a lot of people reject a person because of minor reasons. Just read of the some profiles on POF and other dating sites. Exchanging a few emails with a person who isn't your usual type is settling. If there isn't a connection after some emails, phone calls, or dates, then move on. Sometimes a person who is somewhat different than your usual type can be a good match. | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 12/25/2007 11:34:30 AM | Amen to 123carrie on ,as we get older you know your better.... It's call we get wiser
When young him/she they go for looks and love not knowing where the road may lead.. As a old mature person we know what we want .
I find that even to buy a piece of furniture, I take my time as to what color, shape, style , I want it to be . Sure it takes me time but it's worth it to invest time in it after all we work hard for our money and we want something that is comfort, lasts long and looks great! So why not be Picky?
... can you image choosing a man? Ok all jokes aside we have more wisdom as we mature and we've been through life's experiences and seen so much. We are set in our ways , know what we want, and know where we are going (although some don't ). We don't want to modified his/her life a person , or modified our life for him/her because after all that is what attractive us to him/her. We are just making sure he/she , I like to say fits in our life , or we fit in their life but that isn't the right phrase to use. So I'll say we want to feel that the person is comfortable with each other. Sure no one is perfect but it was his/her great qualities that attractive us to each other after all. I find that I feel that the majority of people in POF are not seriously looking for a serious relationship . I 've spoken to so many and most are just game players or window shopping they stop chat and move on. As I've done so. (window shop) Well Good Luck ! To the wants that are seriously seeking for that special person to connect with and grow in life's most beautiful gift "Love".
I too am a romantic at heart.. and yes I am not picky and careful . After all we do like good quality | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 12/25/2007 11:37:53 AM | | Yes people today are too picky, at least some of them. I think the net can be attributed to this because it allows for far more exposure to "what's out there". | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 12/25/2007 11:56:52 AM | You don't know what you don't want... Till you get what you do want.
If your picky, stay picky.
If your not... Congrats. Your one step closer. | |
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jf468
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Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 447 | |
| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 12/26/2007 7:37:51 AM |
Exchanging a few emails with a person who isn't your usual type is settling. If there isn't a connection after some emails, phone calls, or dates, then move on. Sometimes a person who is somewhat different than your usual type can be a good match.
I miswrote. I should have written "Exchanging a few emails with a person who isn't your usual type is NOT settling". | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 12/26/2007 8:40:44 AM | I think everyone is picky to a certain level--some have higher levels than others.
Myself, I have been judged too many times by people because of weight and they have no idea how hard I try to lose that weight and make my life better on a daily basis--and why don't they know? Cause they don't take the time to ask or get to know me as a person.
What's the old saying? "you can't judge a book by its cover"? Too many people forget about that and perhaps they let someone who maybe not the correct height but have the same interests slip away without even a chance. NO I don't think people should settle for anything less than happiness and someone that they feel is perfect for them. But that's just it--perfect for them.
Happy fishing everyone!!
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 12/27/2007 6:59:10 AM | | Although I hate to admit it, I really believe I have unrealistic expectations when it comes to a woman but yet know I am not perfect either. So yeah with some regards I would think we all can be a little too picky. But sometimes maybe thats a good thing!! | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 12/27/2007 7:15:03 AM | Without reading EVERY post ....the following remarks pretty much sum up how I feel about it....
I want a man thats like my father, but younger and hotter. (ha, I love that one!)
I'm not picky, I want, what I want and if there is ANYTHING about them I don't like, then NEXT.
Are we just being picky or are we being wisely selective.
My vote is for wisely selective.
If we have matured, we now know who we are and what we want.
It would be unwise to give up being "picky", and get involved in a relationship that we know won't work.
Being wisely selective may leave us alone longer, but it will save us from drama we don't need in our lives.
Some are picky. Some just can't find what they are looking for.
...the ones I seem to want to get to know aren't the ones that want to get to know me.
Does that mean I'll lower the bar? Probably not, as I'm still looking to be "wow'd"...
Face it: we have more choice nowadays, which can be a blessing should you use it to better choose your best mate (maybe more marriages/relationships wouldn't go south if people were more picky and held off from jumping in between the sheets too quickly and thus letting infatuation, desperation or sexual needs guide this important decision)...or some people can use it to find perfection and trade up (I'm not one of those)...instead I want to find the BEST match for ME so I can devote my heart to her [in my case, a HIM, lol] 150%...some people understand that, and some don't.
Why not be picky, especially with someone you may become intimate with? That is being smart also.
...I'd prefer someone exclude me because they were too "picky" than choose to hook up with me and not believe I was the best possible choice they could make.
...The answer is yes.....And everyone should be. The only problem is that some people are picky over the wrong things...
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