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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 4/3/2008 10:04:17 AM | There are many facets to this question.
I blame the internet dating thing. 
Its so easy to find greener grass since the internet. Its so easy to dump someone thru emial, or find one prettier. Its like people are disposable .. You dont like this one anymore, or she/he wont wash your clothes, dump her/him. Theres another one right around the corner.
Im not sure what men are looking for, but dating is just not the same as it was in the black and white days. Ive always been picky/selective. Seems the pickins' are slim these days.
Im not embarassed to admit I dont settle for second best. But it seems that no one wants to be in a commited relationship anymore. They want to 'try on the suit first'. They want to be friends first. What?
Im not sure if its my age or the changing times, the internet dating or ME. | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 4/3/2008 10:35:04 PM |
Hell--- looking at the national average on divorce rates I would say that people aren't picky enough.
The opposite is quite true, societal / media expectations, and an entire gov't bureaucracy telling people how to run their lives.
Ironically, there is nothing the gov't runs efficient or correct. | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 4/3/2008 10:40:48 PM | Hell--- looking at the national average on divorce rates I would say that people aren't picky enough. \
Yes and no...
While I agree that you have to have high standards, I think that it is laziness that ends relationships, not simply meeting the wrong person.
Marriage and even dating is 'work". Yes I would love it to be all fun and games but it seldom is. When you stop being romantic, and stop treating date # 50 like date #1 is when trouble starts. Complacency sets in, and the relationship is al but over.
Lucky Vet, you make a very good point as well. If people actually paid attention to their own needs and their partners needs over what the world expects of them, then we would have a lower divorce rate as well.
Now as far as pickiness is concerned....
I have raised my standards quite high after my last relationship went south. The lousy part of that is less dates. The good part is I have a better chance of meeting the right lady. | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 4/17/2008 8:27:36 AM |
Im not embarassed to admit I dont settle for second best. But it seems that no one wants to be in a commited relationship anymore. They want to 'try on the suit first'. They want to be friends first. What?
I agree, im very old fashioned but what happend to dating one person, all my mates and their fellas are dating one person one week and then seeing someone else a week later and so on, i cant keep up so i dont bother trying too.. ive got more respect for myself though than to settle for second best or sleep my way round south london looking for love... its out there somewhere hopefully it will know me when it sees me lol x | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 4/17/2008 8:47:54 AM | I can understand being picky about who you marry or have a LTR with. But why be so picky about who you talk to. Exchanging a few emails or even going on a few dates with someone who is somewhat different than your ideal type isn't settling. If there is no connection, then move on. Most people in successful relationships end up with someone who isn't exactly their deal type anyways.
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 4/17/2008 8:55:15 AM | | It's only "too" picky if he/she complains about being lonely and not being able to find anyone. People such as myself can afford to be picky because we're perfectly content with being alone in the meanwhile. | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 4/20/2008 6:27:56 AM | Hi I'm new to 'Plenty of Fish' and already hooked on reading the forums and I agree that we are picky these days, but I don't think its a bad thing so long as you are realistic about it. At 41 there's no point in me asking for a 21 year old male, 6ft tall, with blue eyes, blond hair, abs of steel and works part time as a Calvin Klein model, as it's never going to happen (although it's a nice fantasy!!) But I don't think there's anything wrong with listing my likes and dislikes about a person, there's little point in me putting up with a smoker (something I don't like ) even if he does happen to be the most gorgeous bloke on earth (so that rules Johnny Depp out then, damm!!!!!!!!!). As you get older your 'picky' list gets more specific because you know what works for you.
At the same time I would want my 'Mr Right' to be picky about me and know that the reason he's chosen me is because I tick all the right boxes for him and not just a 'you'll do for now until someone else comes along'. | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 4/20/2008 6:53:52 AM | Ali67m hits the nail on the head being realistic about it all.
I don't think being picky is a bad thing but there is a difference between being picky and looking for an ideal match. I think there are too many factors to over come if you’re looking for an ideal partner. I think it has something to do with the way internet dating sites are set up with the questions they ask or just reading other profiles to get an idea of what you want to write. I have met most dates I've had the old fashioned way being out in public. When you do this someone just catches your eye or you are introduced. You have good conversation and think the person maybe has sparked your interest enough to want to get together with them again so you ask them out or they ask you. I don't remember seeing any criteria list pinned to their forehead. You get together again, learn more about them and if still interested see them till you decide if you might be some kind of match.
Then there's the dreaded old saying, "you never really know someone till you live with them." | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 4/25/2008 11:53:32 AM | definately!people theses days are more picky than they were years ago.
i mean its good to have standards and u shouldnt choose someone that is not your type but some people exagerates.i say evyone should take a moment to think and ask themselves 'am i being too picky?'.they should also look at themselves and say 'is what im looking for more than i can offer?
cause i mean if your a 300 pounds women and looking to meet brad pitt then u seriously have a problem.lol
chances are your gonna stay alone all your life lol.
for example i met a girl lately on here who said that facial hair(meaning a goatee like i have)was a must for her.now to me thats just stupid.i know lots of guys have facial hair but if she turns down mens who dont have any then shes limiting her chances of finding someone great. | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 4/25/2008 11:59:09 AM | i think we get more picky as we get older and have bad experiences in relationships.
also i think we get more picky after meeting people that have been picky with us.meaning have turned us down for reasons of being too picky.lol | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 4/25/2008 3:36:27 PM | | no I still think people are in too much hurry and rush into things its why it doesnt work out and single sites are full............ | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 4/25/2008 3:41:31 PM | | it's called being selective. You can't settle for no scuff when you want to have a relationship with someone that can please you right. But don't be a perfectionist about it cuz that will NEVER happen. | |
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svj2
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Joined: 3/16/2008
Msg: 490 | |
| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 4/29/2008 7:33:32 AM | | Depends, I'm happy being single, so I can afford to be picky. Better to be happily single than in an unhappy marriage/relationship. | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 4/29/2008 1:01:30 PM | This whole "Mr. Right/Ms. Right/soulmate" concept is a Hollywood/Oprah invention and needs to be abolished.
What's wrong with meeting different people and letting nature take its course instead of saying "I only want an LTR" or "I'm only looking for friendship now" and trying to force relationships into contrived categories? | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 4/30/2008 9:02:42 AM | | Blue Eyed Fun....Agreed! I used to be incredibly demanding, but looking back, I let go of some good relationships over very trivial issues. | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 4/30/2008 9:08:09 AM | | I think people are more picky online than in real life. They want to see if something "better" comes along perhaps. | |
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T474T
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Joined: 3/10/2008
Msg: 494 | |
| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 4/30/2008 10:25:22 AM | | you have to be picky, or you will end up with the same trash everytime. Thats why I have been single for years, not wasting my time or emotions on something thats not worth it. | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 4/30/2008 10:40:16 AM | | yes people are to picky theses days.alot of people go for looks if a man is good looking most women will beliveve any thing read my profile about looks are overated.the problem with most women on here are any were they want a brad pitt but none of them look like angie joli get it peace. | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 4/30/2008 10:48:44 AM | Everyone is picky because everyone regards themselves as a real rare breed - in some cases that's true but not necessarily in a good way... | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 4/30/2008 7:07:12 PM | Depends what is meant by standards, picky, and selection. I mean on this site I think yes people are. You don't really know anything about the people on the site other than what is typed and their photo. Photos are not always worth a 1000 words. And they may be much better or worse than what they type. That is the whole point of dating is to see if they are what you are looking for.
As for being to picky with someone you know in person/have dated/etc then no I don't think people are to picky. Because you know what that person is like you have met them and have made your decision on them. Either there was that click or not. Basically you aren't making your judgment based on a profile vs. their real personality or the personality they showed you. | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 4/30/2008 7:12:08 PM | Honestly I was born picky and cannot help it. I think deep in my soul there is something I'm searching for and it does go more than physical attraction....when you meet someone ur instincts can tell you whether you should check it out further or not and i listen to my instincts...That can be defined as being picky or knowing what you want.
I think modern technology has made being naturally picky even more refined by being able to get on a dating site such as this and have bigger dating pool or searching for certain characterics or certain aspects of physical appearance....this may result in better match upsand would be interesting tome to see scientific statistics on even picky people having success on dating sites....I for one have had good luck on dating sites and had some of the better dates i've had in my life thru internet dating...just lucky in that respect I guess... | |
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