| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 10/16/2006 12:44:58 AM | picky?
well yes and no.
I just see that there is too much shopping going on.
one can have the one they want sitting right infront of them and still keep shopping.
how is that?
now if one is really willing to take the time to focus on just the person infront of them then and only then will they know for sure if that is a person they care to be with.
However if one is still shopping then they will be clowed and not give the other a chance to get too close for fear of the fact that they may just miss out. But then they must think.... what happens when this one is gone? do they care? Not while they are still shopping. But it is funny to see them come back later and want what they can, and then its just too damn late.
just take the time to get to know who you are with; if infact you are really looking to be with just one person. with out taking the time you will never know what you have untell its gone. | |
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ousu
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Joined: 6/2/2005
Msg: 104 | |
| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 10/16/2006 5:30:03 AM | | "Picky" can be also healthy. Think it the other way round: would you like to be randomly picked up, just because there was not better alternatives available at that moment? - Picky = cautious? | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 10/16/2006 6:49:54 AM | | My theory is that people with interesting personalities stay single longer because it is hard to find someone with most of the same interests. Simple people find others easily. If all you are interested in is beer and pizza, it's going to be pretty easy to find someone with those interests. In this sense "picky" is a good thing. | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 10/16/2006 6:56:08 AM | | The only interesting gf I had a few years ago constantly forgot to take her medicine. Of course, when she woke me up one night with a big knife in her hand, I was ready to go back to the single-thing again... | |
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ousu
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Joined: 6/2/2005
Msg: 108 | |
| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 10/16/2006 7:05:15 AM | ^^^ You need to meet my male friend :p You can share your views on this. I bet the question is about a dragon lady---
So, picky = careful. | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 10/16/2006 8:45:37 AM | | I suppose dating is a lot like poker. In poker you learn how to fold bad hands, but if you only play premium hands (in dating terms, going out only with people you think are hot) you will miss out on a lot of opportunities to take in some pots. To put it in plain English, sometimes you gotta take your chances and to take the losses with the wins. | |
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EB1
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Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 110 | |
| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 10/16/2006 8:47:30 AM | There is nothing wrong with being picky.
I'm picky and proud of it! I do not think that we should just go with the first one who asks. | |
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dannol
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Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 112 | |
| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 10/16/2006 9:05:55 AM | When your looking for a partner that you want to spend the rest of your life with you can't afford not to be. After all don't we deserve the best? We all have our standards and and need to maintain them. Keep fishing you will find what your looking for. | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 10/16/2006 9:08:21 AM | Yes, we expect too much from people. We are lulled into thinking not only other people are so much more special and attractive than they really are but also ourselves as individuals because of all the hyperbolic flattery that is flying around. It's lovely to hear but it can make you a little deluded so that you raise the bar unrealistically high.
Come down to earth. Differentiate between what is realisable and what is just an unattainable dream. Then make alot of allowances. Forgiveness is important. the only thing that should never be tolerated is physical abuse. Verbal and psychological abuse over a sustained period is also the kiss of death to any relationship. Apart from that, if the laughter outweighs the tears, hang on for dear life.
Accept that there will always be someone who looks more alluring and attractive but the chances are that is as good as it gets - a veneer. Stick with what you know and love.
I think we are becoming increasingly picky because we appear to have so many more choices but it is actually harder than ever to discern who is the right one for you. So often the 'players' triumph over the genuinely good ones because they haven't got quite the same flair for seduction. | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 10/16/2006 11:06:20 AM | | Having standards are healthy, no one wants a one eyed troll with foul breath and a rap sheet a mile long. But the Disney fairytale is right out of reality, better to not get bent over a few habits and rather to evaluate if it's really that bad and look past them. | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 10/16/2006 12:36:28 PM | | Why lower our standards? If there is a certain criteria that I can not live without, why bother going through the motions if he doesn't fit it. There are far too many 'fish' in the sea to settle! | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 10/16/2006 5:12:23 PM |
but love isnt criteria. love is picky. love is rare. true love. and i dont think most even experiance it. they settle for "she will do me".  I think you're right PC. Most people never experience true love because they are sick of waiting for the right person, and settle for several reasons (i.e., to fit in with society, to have a companion and not be alone, to be their mom/dad, to have kids and settle down, to have a bigger income, etc.)
As divorce is so typical nowadays, it's obvious people are not picky enough. Therefore, I believe that being "picky" (as vague as that is) is everyone's prerogative. I for one have been told I'm too "picky" because I only date non-smokers (or at least light smokers trying to quit), but I think having legitimate reasons for your "criteria" is not a bad thing. Wanting someone who is at least attractive in your eyes (attraction is such a personal thing) is a must if you want to wake up next to them every single day for the rest of your life. But on the other side of the coin, I do not want to be with someone so full of themselves that they are ugly on the inside. You've got to strike the right balance and just let it happen. I believe in serendipity and that finding true love absolutely WILL happen....   | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 10/16/2006 5:37:19 PM | | I'm almost certain of it. How else can you explain all the women who won't even bother to respond to my e-mails on this site? Seriously, I'm not asking for much. Non-smoker, local, who enjoys Classical music and is financially secure. I'm happy to make friends even with those who aren't financially secure, but I'm not going to be someone else's bank in a long term relationship. Nor do I need anyone else's bank account. It is obvious to me that if more women on this site were less picky I'd get more responses one way or another, and just telling me when I've said something that they deem inappropriate for a first e-mail, or asking me why I said something in the first e-mail. The same seems to happen on other dating sites I've tried and the few dates I've tried. I'm finding people simply not ready to try to become friends with. Even on public events such as hikes and Yoga classes. It is a general xenophobic quality that I'm reading in most women that I try to come in contact with. Sure I could stop trying to come in contact with them, and I was practically out of the playing field for the 10 years I developed my career. But no one really showed any interest in me then. So I feel it best if I show some sort of interest. The question is how much is too much? What is going to wake up a picky woman short of being the perfect Ken in a Ken and Barbie ideal? I don't know, but I think too many people expect to only be able to get an ideal mate, and miss out on slightly less than ideal conditions because they choose to wait for nothing but ideal. I admit I'd love to find a woman who is relatively in shape, but I'm happy to find someone who is out of shape, and still pleasant to be around with and has the other qualities I'm looking for. I hope that someone is going to wake up out of their dream that they will only find an ideal mate and contact me! | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 10/16/2006 5:47:16 PM | Picky is the bad word, selective is the nicer word. However you say it, we should be picky/selective. There has to be some standards, some idea of what we want otherwise we'd just pick anyone who asked. That's a recipe for disaster for both people, although all too often we've known those who chose a partner out of convenience or just being tired of being alone. Those types of situations are short lived and both usually end up bitter and disappointed.  | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 10/16/2006 5:57:04 PM | yep a good lot of the singles are
to darn picky
can't compromise or come to a mutual agreement
can't reciprocate love,
to demanding
far to damaged or scared from past heartaches
to determined to to have it " my way, or nada"
to contolling, to freakin miserable
to afraid of getting hurt again
i pray every day i don't become one of those people
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Renda
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Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 120 | |
| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 10/16/2006 7:07:22 PM | | I think we live in a throw away society, and most people think that there is always someone better than the person we are with. Basically, people are people. The grass is not always greener. I think we need to go out with a person a few times before we decide to just throw them overboard. We are so into plastic surgery, working out till we drop, living on lettuce, just to impress a man or a woman. It is usually the woman who does all this to catch a man. It is sad that we are not just allowed to be ourselves. I am at the point in my life where I think it is better to be alone than to go through all of this. I have been dating a lot lately, and each time, I feel like I am on a job interview. I think I will just forget the whole thing and if something happens, it will. In the meantime, I am just going to do what I have to do to survive and have fun. | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 10/16/2006 7:17:57 PM | | I don't think I'm picky. I just want a guy who's gorgeous and has confidence without an ego. Sense of humour but still serious. Makes a lot of money but can live poor. Is completely tough but still sensitive. A professional who likes to party. Loves me but isn't suffocating. Can cook but not while I am. Is neat but can handle a mess. Loves children but doesn't want any. A man's man who can hang out with women. Shy but outgoing. And is intelligent with spurts of stupidity. I don't think that's too picky. | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 10/16/2006 8:15:17 PM | Hell every day I'm not desperate. But I have prepared myself as best as possible for something I know nothing about, and psyched myself for the endless possibilities that it may entail. Wouldn't you rather have someone who is prepared, who is ready to take a challenge and meet it head on?
I mean honestly, I feel like the astronaut waiting at the launchpad with his spacesuit on, and no rocket sitting out there?
With so many relationships I read out there going wrong, maybe it is time for a change. For each of us to learn how to prepare for making a good relationship happen so that when it does happen, we don't let it fall apart, and we can feel relaxed going into that we won't fall apart when something unexpected happens.
I look at it like the struggle I went through waterproofing my home. With each new storm, I learned what the weaknesses were until I covered everything up, diverted all the water away and finally got everything to work.
So come on pitchers, throw me a ball I can hit a home run with!
Otherwise I'll just walk until I reach home!
Don't be shy, give it your best shot!
Don't let your doubts keep you back. We as a human race would not survive if it weren't for our parents meeting and overcoming each of those challenges. A world over 5 billion people strong, because the parents and grandparents of each of them made the choice to meet someone.
And if overpopulation is your worry, just have one child.
Seriously folks, you have to give it a chance.
I don't hear anyone? | |
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| Are people these days 'too picky'...
Posted: 10/16/2006 8:15:31 PM | OP.....
I don't know about the rest of guy's but I suspect they find the same thing is true with them....
I think that for some reason women on internet dating over rate themselves .....looks wise ,
I find that I get many many mails from women who I just couldn't be attracted to ...
I am not overly picky but I am "normal" and have been told I'm atleast reasonably good looking ....or better (-;.....but so what ....looks aren't everything and I think having a good character is more important .....but.....
I think that a woman has to be attractive for me to be interested ......I guess the reasonably attractive women get so much attention that they can act like they are totally exclusive ....but I think thing's work best when you are evenly matched and they definately won't work if you aren't attracted .....and I don't know what attractive women's priorities are ?? or who they are going for???
What I'd like to say to some of them is ......so big deal you are good looking ....thats only one part of it ......and you're not that good looking !!! LOL | |
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