| |
| Pathological Liars
Posted: 7/31/2008 11:36:21 PM | Meet the King of PL ........ME!!!!
I have been known to sweep you off your feet with sweet words, a soft hand and some trinkets at the same time drug you without your knowledge, stalk you, go thru your personal items, etc.
I have been known by Ray, Bill, William, Raymond and others so PLEASE BE CAREFUL WHEN YOU TRUST........you must listen, watch and go slowly.
But that still won't save you........... | |
|
| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/1/2008 5:27:08 PM | Been there done that, got the t-shirt....
Except mine was a paranoid/histrionic personality disorder... Took me a long time to figure it out... and a long time to get over her...
The thing about personalty disordered individuals is, we like them! They are attractive, they are charmers. They draw us in, then destroy us... unless you wise up..
Go read EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES... you will learn a LOT | |
|
| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/1/2008 7:49:50 PM | | Great post.Very accurate.They are charmers and they will do a number on you.My husband was a master lyer high Iq and a master charmer.He told me to trust no one.He was a master con artist.He was very crafty.I used to watch his act it was very bad.He know how to read people to knew how to do a number on them.I am glad he is out of my life. | |
|
| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/2/2008 3:01:34 PM | The title Pathological liar is the key. We can all be guilty of lies and like to tell ourselves they are little white lies. To take the high moral tone on lies per sae is futile BUT that said to take seriously the fact that some have a real illness when it comes to lies and cheating is so real. The malignant narcissist is a dangerous creature and red flags heeded along the way can save heartache. Sadly they are so good when it comes to manipulation and mirroring the type of behaviour we want and expect and tuning into our weakness we fall for them more often than not hook line and sinker. Only then as we try to piece our life back togehter do we come to realise the full extent of the damage caused by the lies and the manipulation.
The pathological personality cannot be confused with the ordinary lies we all have indulged in odd times either to protect someone else or oursleves. ie does my bum look big in this??? Dare you tell me the truth??? | |
|
| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/2/2008 3:50:04 PM |
Sadly they are so good when it comes to manipulation and mirroring the type of behaviour we want and expect and tuning into our weakness we fall for them more often than not hook line and sinker.
As true as that statement is, everything we need to know and SEE about the pathological liar is ironically there from the beginning. They actually "tell" us who they are ("tell" comparable to poker terminology for example) from the beginning. "We" even "tell" ourselves when we're dealing with one - inherent in this statement is one example: "mirroring the type of behavior we want and expect" which I will expand on to clarify my point. The victims become so blinded by the illusion that they have found a soul mate or love at first sight (or even a good friend), that they fail to see and even dismiss THE truth of the pathology, as it is not in line with their expectations. IME and IMO. | |
|
| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/2/2008 4:36:16 PM | I think I may have mentioned this on another blog. You are probably dealing with a much more intricate and little-known problem: Current lable - The Sociopath. A recent (since the 80's) field in psychiatry/psychology about which little is known, but some strides are being made. I highly recommend Martha Stout's book, "The Sociopath Next Door." Her best advice: "If a sociopath invites you over for a cup of coffee, don't even admit you DRINK coffee. Never make nice with a sociopath."
I learned the hard way, and did the necessary research. | |
|
| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/3/2008 6:37:48 AM | | I've read up on pathological liars and found out after 14 years that this is what he was. They most always have a passive-aggressive behavior to their personality. Oh well, he is now with some poor, needy girl who refuses to believe anything I've told her about him because he is such a liar. I hope for her sake it doesn't take too long for her to wake up and see that her GREAT CATCH isn't that great. They met on POF in December and she had already moved him in with her by January. Her husband died in November so I suppose she was very lonely! | |
|
| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/20/2008 12:44:35 PM | Just spent the last 2 months dealing with a Sociopath/Pathological Liar all-in-all it was just too exhausting playing along. In the end it just became too much work, and would eventually cross too many lines that were just unacceptable, even dangerous. To say this person was prolific is the understatement of the year. I can only imagine that it must really suck to be this person. He thought he was generating excitement whereas I saw it as nothing more than chaos.
These people will generate imaginary careers, family, friends, travel and illness in their repertoire as necessary to keep covering, eventually overlapping and tripping up on their on deception.
Sadder yet, when it has been going on so long with so many lies they honestly believe themselves.
I'm not sure if it qualifies as a personality disorder, chemical imbalance or just a lack of any integrity. What I do know is that you can seriously put your life and those around you in danger by association. | |
|
| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/20/2008 1:12:35 PM | Well put....
Until you lived with this....you can't imagine the damage that this condition wreaks on a family unit. It creates hypervigilence, mistrust, in all who are taken in.
I would add that anyone with an alcohol/drug problem would fall in this catagory too.
Substance abuse is characteristic of what keeps the "myth" going.
Go to Alanon....seek help for being invested in a person like this. They are dangerous to your health and the environment. Do your own work around this fatal attraction.
They aren't hard to spot, if you have done your own internal maturing and keep your feet on the ground. If it feels suspicious, it probably is. Walk away, don't chase after it to find the "truth". There is NO truth.
It's sinister, manipulative and driven by their self-interest, no matter how charming they pretend to be. It's a ruse. | |
|
| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/22/2008 9:57:35 AM | | Sanlucalady: You are spot on in as much as they really are not hard to spot and right about "There is No Truth." A total lack of conscience creates a real danger and that is only part of the fallout. Advice for anyone who has suspicions that they are involved with a pathological liar ...cut it off as soon as possible, do not look back. | |
|
| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/22/2008 7:43:26 PM | | My LDR fits the above descriptions but then a friend showed me an article about sociopaths, he fits that one much better, lmao, don't know how I was so stupid to fall for him. | |
|
| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/22/2008 8:11:13 PM | | Ms. Sweet, you were not stupid. Like me, you believed in someone. I fell for a major liar/Narcissist...and I failed to see things as well. People even pointed things out about the guy I chose at the time not to see. It was not until AFTER I relocated for the guy, things ended and talked to people who knew him (neighbors, bosses and bars he hung out in) that I realized he was not only a Narcissist but a Pathological liar. Sometimes we do not see those things because we are wrapped up in emotion. Not all people are like that...maybe you and I just got the extreme cases!!! Mine was BAD...really, really BAD. | |
|
| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/23/2008 3:00:46 PM | Not hard to spot?
AuburnDiva
I fell for a major liar/Narcissist...and I failed to see things as well. People even pointed things out about the guy I chose at the time not to see.
Sanlucalady
They aren't hard to spot, if you have done your own internal maturing and keep your feet on the ground.
~vhdc~
Sanlucalady: You are spot on in as much as they really are not hard to spot
It would seem that sanlucalady and vhdc have learned how to spot a PL/Sociopath. They were charmed by one in the past but learned their lesson. I'm wondering if Auburn Diva can NOW spot one?
My question is how long does it take to spot one? One date? Many? First words out of their mouth?
My guess is that it will take some time to hear enough stories from them to start suspecting that they aren't all they claim to be.
Is it intuition that tells you or real indications?
Share... how do you spot them? | |
|
| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/23/2008 8:12:32 PM | | Can I spot one now? Not to sure...they are very tricky. I have done a lot of research and rwading about this type of person...and they are tricky!!! I am leaning on intuition from now on....the number one thing I have learned is they tend to blame everyone else for everything...which I honestly did not know before. Always someone elses fault...blame the x, blame the kid, blame the boss...things to look for? Inconsistantcy....meet friends and family...people talk about others all the time...I simply believed in someone...but once I moved it was clear within days. It won't happen again!!! The guy I met was a really good manipulator. | |
|
| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/24/2008 3:12:01 PM | | hey this pathological liar - was his name by chance Steve | |
|
| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/24/2008 3:56:38 PM | | I also read Martha Stouts' book The Sociopath Next Door - another good one is Sam Vakin's - Narcisim Revisited -Malignant Self Love - such scary stuff - I feel lucky to have lived thru the 18 years I was with this" ha, man of my dreams" and I know it is not over - some of them won't let you go - especially if they live in or around you - and feel that you wronged them - they can be quite vicious - and menacing and it is hard to prove - or who would believe the acts of these power crazy - controlling individuals - us normal people don't have the energy it takes to keep sociopathic behavior going - we are involved in living - earning a living and family and friends - and don't have the energy to keep not just one - but many of these scenarios going - remember - boredom is the enemy of a sociopathic individual and they will do anything for the mischieous results - and the resultant chaos - the key is, if it seems too good to be true - or just perfect - it is not real - real people can't sustain the drive and manipulative efforts - to maintain a "homebase" so they can run their games on unsuspecting - needful people, and aren't we all at sometime - open to this unobvious manipulating rescuer - who will alternately adore and abhore us - especially after they have reeled you in their snare of a moment of love - romance - gifts and then there is that veil that we drop over our eyes to keep just these moments of pleasure - unusual fleeting passion - that all too soon disapears and the jerking around begins and never ends! According to my sane men friends - there are tons of disfunctional men like the above - they live to destroy the fabric of normal life and to steal the lives of good hardworking husbands by luring their wives with their charms - I read in scripture "his words were smoother than butter, but in his heart was deception" and with those words I sign off - they live among us - passing as the most attractive - normal people - they are predators - they are the most successful men in our society - political figures - actors - pastors - your next door neighbor.... | |
|
| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/24/2008 4:00:15 PM | | Wow most people can fit that personality, you are hurt and although your pop psychology has some truth to it, it does not qualify you as a professional psychologist. You might be hurt and now you have some feminism issues that will hurt you in later relationships. I am sorry you met this guy, but I have dealt with this too. I have learned to get over it and move on. It is what it is, love is blind and bliss at the beginning but ones true self emerges as the relationship evolves. | |
|
| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/24/2008 5:27:32 PM | | 2dolist - it is not pop psychology - it is learned knowledge - I never intended to project that I was a professional - however - as you well know from your experience, a person could become adept on a subject - just from experience, isn't that how we move forward - we learn from our mistakes. My issues do not stem from feminism - just human reaction to dealing with a disassociative - borderline personality - a good site to help understand these dysfunctions would be - www.bpdfamily.com - have you ever heard of Stanley Kubrick and his famed movie Clockwork Orange? Well, behavior is most difficult to change -= especially when the behavior is something you have been getting away with and in effect enjoy and there are quite so many willing participants (lonely hearts) only too numerous are victims of emotional and or sexual abuse - these undeveloped adult personalities create drama because of their fear of abandonment and in effect defeat the very important relationships they are trying to keep - this dysfunctional dance creates chaos on so many levels - with the perpetrator oblivious because he is a sociopath. Thank you for your sympathy and I am sorry for your pain, however this relationship that I had was 20yrs in duration and there were children involved so it is quite difficult just to detach and move forward - the children become impacted and there are always issues to deal with in reference to their betrayal. | |
|
| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/24/2008 6:06:34 PM | | LMFAO no it was not Steve, but he is in Ohio and not too far from you...the one I met lives with mommy and daddy, claims to be a well employed Plumber (which he doesnt work except on his mom's house or so called friends homes) he doesnt even have his business name on his van but I found out why (real shock, he doesn't HAVE one) and well....he is simply a liar!But yes you are right in the behavior...and they try to "punish" people....oh girl I could tell you some stories...lol I can laugh about it now, but I will say this, it is really scary. I am sure he is still lying to others as he did to me, however I was also amazed ONCE I was moved and situated and did some homework how many people in his area knew him and knew he was a nut case. I will look into those books, maybe for College I can use them. I did write a wonderful "A" paper in my Psychology class on him....it was nice to be able to understand what my Professor was talking about with Narcissists...he definatly fit the profile, and then some...lmfao E mail me if you want. | |
|
| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/24/2008 8:10:49 PM | I just browsed through 13 pages of this post. I was wondering when the term 'pathological liar' would turn into 'sociopath'. I totally agree. I spent four years with the most charming, intelligent, and attractive man I have ever known. All four of those years was also navigating through his narcissistic, manipulative, and passive-aggressive tendecies. Call it whatever you may but these relationships are destructive. You cannot 'save' these people. It is not selfish to walk away. Most of all, don't blame yourself. (My ex's mother actually told me she admitted that he had problems but if I really loved him I would stay. Ugh! Yeah, she was probably desperate to unload her own burden).
To make matters worse we had a child together. (Fight that one in court will ya. We both had female attorneys. A female child advocate too. This charming little ladies man almost destroyed me in court). These situations can turn dangerous, especially when you try to leave. Tough it out. | |
|
| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/24/2008 8:26:52 PM | LIES TO GET SYMPATHY.....
I dated a guy who exhibited over half of these traits in his behavior. I had decided that I no longer wanted to see him...for reasons that were obvious. I got a text from him the following week...saying he had news that would make me happy. I only answered him after he said that he was jumped by an angry drunk neighbor and his two nephews...going on to say that he sustained several broken ribs, a concussion (one of the nephews supposedly hit him on the back of the head repeatedly with a fencepost) and that one of his teeth was knocked out...plus eight po's showed up at the scene....when he went to the hospital...blood was found in his urine!
Yet, he went on to tell me he needed a ride to work the following day, as his truck was out of gas!!!
Glad I bailed out....tall tale? Yeesh......
 | |
|
| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/24/2008 8:30:36 PM | | Sigh, what a sad commentary. Unfortunately, also a reality. | |
|
| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/24/2008 8:38:31 PM |
I also read Martha Stouts' book The Sociopath Next Door - another good one is Sam Vakin's - Narcisim Revisited -Malignant Self Love - such scary stuff I knew someone who read those books and was convinced the ex SO was a sociopath. The ex may well have been but the irony was so was this person. I was amazed when I found out. Unbelieveable. | |
|
| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/24/2008 8:42:28 PM | Dear Crystal,
Rarely ever reponding to the forums, I thank you for sharing.
Anti social personality disorder is common in pathological liars.
They possess a "false self" and in fact can be quite dangerous while projecting to other's how wonderful they are in public.Incurable even with long term therapy and/or medication..
.....Run with the wind at your back....
Your friend,CoCo | |
|
Home
login 
