*I*
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Joined: 11/20/2004
Msg: 26 | |
| Pathological Liars
Posted: 7/24/2006 5:20:51 PM | Poetic233,
You don't you just walk away and wash your hands of them all and thank God you are better then they are | |
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| Pathological Liars
Posted: 7/24/2006 6:10:08 PM | How accurate and true.. my ex is one of those...... fits the profile very well as a matter of fact, thanks for helping us avoid those pitfalls.
curvyy | |
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| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/2/2006 7:06:09 AM | That is what I did! I know that it was through God's love and strength that I did not end up in jail - but hey - what does not kill you makes you stronger! | |
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| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/2/2006 8:32:41 AM | Me thinks that masquerading under the guise of a stinking dead fish is even worse! ha!
Obviously, these forums are rampant with immatuity from all the fotos of dead fish and everything else you can think of....instead of just a simple foto of the actual person. Is that supposed to be clever? I don't get it. I know, I am digressing...and straying off thread... this is just one of my little pet peeves. I just think people ought to have the courtesy...and the 'courage', to put up a "real' picture of themselves. Thats all!
Ok. Pathological liars. Whether the professional is a real one or not... the post was right on. Go get your basic text on abnormal psychology and read for yourself. Its true.
The truth is. No one gets 'blind sided' by a pathological liar. If you have been with one for a time..... the behaviors are evident and abundunt. You have just denied and rationalized the lies and abusive behaviors in your own desparate attempts to somehow make sense out of them. The so-called blindsiding is just that time when the abusive behaviors have reached a critical mass over time, and your old denials ect. don't work anymore. I understand, I have been there.
As always... the focus belongs on ourselves, not on the offender. Learn to protect yourself. that is the answer. "We teach people how to treat us" First off. You don't let anyone get away with a lie... more than Once! And, if someone exhibits a pattern of lying. Run Forrest, Run! And don't look back! The mental health profession can scarcely help these people... YOU sure can't!!! | |
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| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/2/2006 1:37:02 PM | | My ex-girlfrined fit this profile. I just learned that a lot ofthings she told me were lies. She lied about inconsequential details of her life. She told my mother she had her own apartment, when in fact she lived with her Dad. She told me she broke up with her ex because he didn't want kids when in fact he wnated to be a stay-at -home Dad. She told me she had a baby at 17 which she gavce up for adoption when in fact that was untrue. The funny thing was, she would always proclaim how importatnt honesty was and "being your word". If she thought you had lied to her and there was hell to pay. She was very manipulative and controlling as well. I tfirmly believe that she wasa pathogical liar. | |
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| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/2/2006 1:41:09 PM | | I agree. I wasn't blindsided. There were signs that I chose not to recognize. She said a few things that I thought did not make sense in light of prior things she had said, but I didn't push. The fact is, I had been seperated from my wife for 6 months, I was lonely and this woman was funny, smart, extremely pretty and I walked right into it because I wanted to beleive that she was all that and more. | |
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| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/2/2006 2:45:00 PM | ........"THERE WERE SIGNS I CHOSE NOT TO RECOGNIZE..."
THis IS the single most crucial lesson in having dealt with these people. It's that willingness to ignore the little voice in our mind saying....."Something is wrong.."
THAT'S IT. Don't ignore your instincts and get out before it gets worse.
It will. | |
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Snugs
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Joined: 4/30/2006
Msg: 33 | |
| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/2/2006 3:13:57 PM | Oh man I just came to the recent realization that my lil sweetheart was a friggin liar, god bless her lil heart. Not so much a liar as an omiter. Shed just leave things out. But I have a wicked sixth sense. Some might call it womans intuition but Im hardly a woman. She could fool the best but she cant fool me,
see the best schooled me.
Sorry baby
You know I call em like I see em
& I bite my tounge for noone
So If you read this. I dont at all apoligize
Ps. you were right..
I can find better. & Do deserve it.
For anyone goin thru it... Bail man.. itll only get worse once there comfy with tellin you that first lie. | |
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| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/2/2006 4:19:34 PM | I had a relationship with that guy (now I just work for one). The ex boyfriend I refer to used to tell me all about his ex girfriends and "their" ridiculous and unbelievable lies. I would just shake my head and wonder how he got involved with all these losers...lol.
At the end of the relationship, I realized that I was likely the next "loser" he was gonna tell lies about. Everything dude said was a lie. He'd also do something called "gaslighting"...insist I said or did something I didn't..but would argue passionately about it with me. At times, he'd almost convince me and I started to wonder about my own sanity.
Scary. | |
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allh2h
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Joined: 3/23/2006
Msg: 35 | |
| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/2/2006 6:05:23 PM | by Oxdrover:
"Personality disorders" are not curable or controlable with medication or counseling or love or anyother thing-- stear clear of these folks and stearing clear of a liar is usually good advice. Someone who is a liar and/or a controlling liar with an unrealistic picture of themselves isn't going to make a good relationship with you, even if you were perfect. Be careful. Oxdrover
Where did you get this:
personality defects are not controllable?
this statement is untrue, they may not be easy to control but I would STEER clear of such a sweeping generalization
from a personality disorder? Her direct quote capn. There is a big difference between a disorder and a defect.
Think waht you like of her opinion but coming from a standpoint of bieng on the receiving end of one of these sickos it is not a generalization. They are dangerous and there is no getting them help as they think they have done nothing wrong...called denial. Mine was not just a pathological liar though, he needs to be in jail and had I not been so charmed by him then he would be....but he will get his. I also have a very good friend whom is on the receiving end of this same situation and her hubby has been in couseling since he was a child and it has not helped him, he still worked her over. | |
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| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/2/2006 6:24:22 PM | Personality Disorders cannot be cured. With luck medication can be found to stife some of the symptoms.
One characteristic to add to this post OP.
Pathological liars believe their lies. So much so they have been know to fool lie detector tests as the average response of someone lying is not present in a pathological liar. The key here is they may show now discomfort in a lie and defend themselves adamantly. For anyone who is privey to such a fine specimen they will find themselves questioning their own views and in a state of confusion. | |
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| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/2/2006 8:22:04 PM | My ex had a personality disorder. Schizo Typal personality disorder, depression, and was a alcoholic. It took me a while to figure out he was lying to me all the time. He was unbelievably good at it. He was quite manipulative also. Was real good at getting people to feel sorry for him. He ended up in AA. He says his alcohlicism was not that bad but goes to meetings every day because it seems to feed into his feeling sorry for himself. He has NO FRIENDS except the people in AA and he never sees them outside of AA. So hence there are no people to ask about what kind of person he is. His family are kind of weird also. He also seems to have convinced himself that his lies are true. They always portray him as a victum. In fact his favorite expression is "Nobody cares for me..."
Best thing i ever did was to file for divorce. Wish i had done it sooner because it has been hell on my kids and he has been a real **stard with the divorce. Really vindictive and evil.
Dana | |
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| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/11/2006 4:36:36 AM | The whole thing reminds me of a crackhead I know very well....
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| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/11/2006 5:55:25 AM | OP, thanks for the post. This description is very accurate. I dated a pathological liar last year who did everything you have listed and then some. Ironically, I got him a job at a hospital for addictions and mental health disorders. Little did I know he should have been a patient there! Eventually his lies caught up with him and they too gave him the boot.
One thing I did learn from this experience is never to second guess my gut feelings. When I think back, I realize there were so many times when I felt something was not right but for whatever reason I didn't take them seriously until it was too late. 
BEWARE LADIES.....he has a profile on here---no doubt looking for his next victim! | |
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| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/11/2006 6:12:45 AM | | i would settle for a "medical professional" who had read enough to have miraculously learned how to spell past a grade 6 level. the balance of this topic is simply lonely people pining to believe in a surreal, "too good to be true" being, and some lowlife juicer sucking the soul from the trusting idiot savant. we have all been there, and we have all moved on. hello? | |
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| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/11/2006 7:00:55 AM |
S/O to have at least half
I think any more than one of those traits would be enough to scare me off....
Lying & Liars seem to be popular in our modern culture as it has so invaded business & marketing. They'll tell you ANYTHING to get at your wallet. Personally I hate it. How can you put your trust into someone who would tell a lie? Have known people like this and it's scary, ya never know what to believe. Had a boss once who lied about all sorts of things, I lost all respect for him because he was so full of BS and his lies even got me fired. | |
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| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/11/2006 7:31:48 AM | I think you might have dated my ex!
He lied about EVERYTHING and we were together about a year and a half. He tore me apart and I am still finding out things he lied about from his friends. I have had to cut ties with EVERYONE to save myself the pain and agony he has put me through!
It was hard for him to include me in different groups of friends and he never took me to his families house for this or that reason. I am not dwelling on him any longer but be aware when things seem kinda strange get out of it quickly!!! I got my heart broken badly and I had fallen hard for me and he conveyed he felt the same way. He cheated on me the entire relationship and unfortunately he was REALLY good at manipulating that situation! | |
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| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/11/2006 7:47:46 AM | This started off as a great thread.
Some friendly advice offered by the OP, and a place to possibly share for others.
Then it went downhill.
It started going downhill a bit when Bull bain suggested reading peoples personal diaries.
I just over looked his comment as someone who lacks any morals, and thinks its okay to do as he pleases, despite the fact that he would likely be mad as hell if I or others invaded his privacy to such a degree.
But then Ox goes on spewing a pile of bullshit that is deeper than the grand canyon!
Ox if you are seriously in the "profession" as you state, please cut and paste your comments here to the licensing board in your area.
I think they need to review your practicing style, and most likely pull your lic and have you removed from seeing any more patients.
You surely are harming already fragile people.
My Uncle is a Psychiatrist, and i pasted the post from Ox to him in an email just moments ago....he has already responded in sheer horror , and said that in his opinion a liar has for sure been found, and its the poster known as Ox.
I so hate seeing damaging things written.
I have studied this subject fairly intently over the years, as I have a dear friend who suffers from this.
I have not turned my back on her, or just "Given up" she needs friends and support.
I have known her for about 9 years now, and she is a caring person, that is also a bit mixed up.
But she does not hurt me.
And i actualy enjoy her company.
I look for signs to wether or not what she is saying is real or fantasy.
And then go from there.
She to needs love and compassion hust like the rest of us.
Let he/she who is perfect and without sin cast the first stone.
Well it sure as hell is not me that will be throwing the first stone.
Can anyone here truly say they could?
I thought not! | |
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| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/11/2006 8:39:40 PM | I know Im not a patholicial liar.
But I do like to think that Im a legend in my own mind at times. | |
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allh2h
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Joined: 3/23/2006
Msg: 46 | |
| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/11/2006 8:56:46 PM |
as I have a dear friend who suffers from this.
There is a difference between a "dear friend" and someone whom is a spouse or significant other, to me anyways. I have friends that are pathological liars and now that they know I am on to them they really do not talk to me much. But when it applies to someone whom I live with and have to trust my children, my home, my vehicles, my life with? Whom is supposed to be a contributing financial part of the couple not to mention of a marriage....that is a big difference. We have to look at that person as being a role model for our children...my children are more important then someone whom cannot pull his head out of his butt and get out of denial.
Goodluck to your friend, I hope she gets it straightened out. | |
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| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/12/2006 9:26:44 AM | | I thought u were talking about my exbf that dumped me two weeks ago since he claimed that he dumped me for giggling & he lied about who he is living with | |
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| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/12/2006 9:41:34 AM | Wow, great thread... does anyone else see this profile as the same as an overweight person, proclaiming that they are NOT fat, just a "few pounds over"? Saying that they "really don't eat THAT much"? Looking in the mirror and seeing that they're "curvy in all the right places"?
Do they know that "a few" is not 100? That if they eat a lot of fatty foods, it doesn't help them, not matter how much it is? That, while they have curves in teh right places, thay also have curves where they don't belong?
Just asking....
Who is a liar? Those who lie to themselves. | |
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| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/12/2006 11:03:53 AM |
There is a difference between a "dear friend" and someone whom is a spouse or significant other
Yeah, it's a little different when you don't have to see that person every day... when that person isn't ruining your life.
Compassion my ass. I do everything I can to work together with my ex. All she wants to do is fight. The best I've figured out is that she wants me to disappear so that she can tell everyone how horrible of a father I am by leaving our daughter. She even so much as told me on the phone 2 weeks ago to stop paying my child support so that she could refuse me access to see our daughter. It's all an attention grab. She can't get anybody's sympathy if she's not a victim. That's the underlying root of most pathelogical liars (in my experience anyway) is their need to be the centre of attention.
It's like the saying goes, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink." I have problems of my own to solve without wasting my life away trying to help someone who doesn't want to be helped. I'm not going to stand here holding my hand out to someone who is never going to take it. | |
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Tarra
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Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 50 | |
| Pathological Liars
Posted: 8/12/2006 11:32:42 AM | | I hate liars. !!!!!! And yes that was a period. | |
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