| Why do we rate photos so harshly?
Posted: 3/16/2009 12:09:31 AM | | I wish this site had no photos. It prevents otherwise compatible people from replying, initiating or responding. Its cheap pseudo porn. | |
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| Why do we rate photos so harshly?
Posted: 3/21/2009 10:13:22 AM | I don't rate photos and don't have mine included in the 'rate me' option - first off, if you're interested in me, you'll have read my profile and sent me a message. If you're not, you're not. Giving me a 'score' based on my photo? When most of those doing the scoring are young enough to be dating my daughter or sons - give me a break.
My value isn't based on the opinions of strangers....it's based on knowing my own self worth, the wondermousness (yeah I made it up - feel free to use it if you like) that is me - and the opinions of people who I value in my life.
But....that's just me | |
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| Why do we rate photos so harshly?
Posted: 3/21/2009 3:25:43 PM | what's the use of rating them when you dont know if they are a true image of that person?,i wouldn't want mine rated,they are taken by family,i take lousy photo's anyway and hate mine and then if someone rates it for artistic value i'd get zero ha ha who cares? if they dont like my pic 's dont look at them ,easy | |
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| Why do we rate photos so harshly?
Posted: 3/22/2009 3:33:53 AM | I totaly hate the idea of photos being rated on here"Period" If a person need's there photos rated to show they are somebody! Well they are not worth getting to know cause to me it show's that they are shallow and have no self esteme and thive on how they look and well if a person can not like you for you than they are not worthy of you. I want a man to like me for me not my photos but all of me , if dating sites had no way to place photos do you think this judgemental singles world would wake up and know that there is a real person and not just a photo on a dating profile ? Make's you stop and wonder doesn't it? I do not need my photos rates to say I'm a somebody I know that I already am and what I have to offer come's from the heart and all that I am!" photos rated are for loosers thumbs down. Great topic thanks for posting it glad to see that there are others that feel the way I do. People judge photos so harshly cause they are shallow , very judgemental , critical as to what they want and they expect that person to fit there entire profile , photo and all! I know I make great girlfriend material and I surely do not need my photo rated to tell me so , If they can not like me for me then they best move on for the one that does. ~Brenny | |
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| Why do we rate photos so harshly?
Posted: 3/22/2009 12:27:48 PM | I've never understood the rate my photo thing, although I didn't change mine.
Personally I like having the photos posted to give me an idea if there's some physical attraction before I email someone. Let's face it, not all descriptions are accurate. | |
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| Why do we rate photos so harshly?
Posted: 3/22/2009 12:30:54 PM | dont know if "we all" are taken but many are. personally i have no desire to be with a person who is overly concerned with their appearance, especially early on. to this old parrothead you are attractive (or unattractive) based on who you are and how well you wear your own skin. not the outside looks which are subject to ongoing change for better or worse anyway.  | |
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| Why do we rate photos so harshly?
Posted: 3/23/2009 6:37:14 AM |
I enjoy the "Rate My Picture" function, but I find all too often that I rate the posted photos much higher than their averages--and I wonder, why are we all so harsh in our determinations? Are we all so taken in by the Hollywood / nip 'n tucked / liposuctioned / special lighting / Glamour Shots makeup / PhotoShopped and retouched idealized SHAM of beauty, that the average attractive man or woman appears lackluster and unappealing?
This is how I see it. If you put a picture up to be rated, you better be prepared to take the lumps. I, as well, rate people higher than their averages. However, it is how I see them. I think we all have our opinions. It is good that not everyone sees others in the same way, otherwise some of us would never get dates. I think to rate as a ten, it takes more than looks. Personality is huge. I try not to judge the book by its cover, but a person does have to be attracted to the other person. There have been times that I have found a person I originally saw as marginally attractive turns out to be beautiful once you get to know them. The old adage beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes straight to the bone is real. I have dated gorgeous women on the outside only to find ugliness on the inside. Being born with good looks can be a curse. Some never develop a good personality. They get things too easy. It makes them very one dimensional. jmho | |
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| Why do we rate photos so harshly?
Posted: 3/23/2009 5:53:08 PM | Here we go again...................LOL
I've said it before and I'll say it again................a photo is all we have to go by on here. I mean I have a bubbly personality but I don't see too many guys wanting to chat to me because of that...................in the real world it's different because we have more to go by not just one or two photos of someone. So yes putting up your "best" picture is the first step here to getting guys/girls to chat to you. Those that choose to put up a photo that isn't so appealing will be judged harshly......................enough said. | |
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| Why do we rate photos so harshly?
Posted: 3/23/2009 6:58:42 PM | I've never bothered to mess with the feature. but, If I did, whats wrong with it? to me its nothing personal. Its not about the person in the pic. Its about the quality of the photo isn't it> ? some people just have really rotten pics. I am flabberghasted why they would even post them. grainy, fuzzy...distant... , makes them look probably a lot worse than they actually are. Perhaps they need to be made awares of that>?
But, as I see it...... just getting on the personals, and putting yourself out there entails risk. If ya can't handle it... then get out. Nobody wants to hear a bunch of victim moaning and complaining. I can handle legitimate and appropriate critisism. The rest, I just ignow. Ambivalence is the best weapon. | |
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| Why do we rate photos so harshly?
Posted: 3/24/2009 7:11:53 AM | | I think you look just fine. You are a very pretty woman. Don't let an individual "pig" determine you your self-worth. Sandy | |
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| Why do we rate photos so harshly?
Posted: 3/24/2009 7:16:25 AM | Agreed.....we are not just a pretty face.....and even if we are now...we won't be forever....If looking for a long-term relationship, more than a pretty face needs to be considered.
Sandy | |
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| Why do we rate photos so harshly?
Posted: 3/24/2009 7:24:34 AM | | Guess I should've specified who this is directed to....sorry. I think ssirishchick is beautiful. No I am not a les-bo. Just take a look at her face and what beautiful hair. Guys, give her a chance....you probably don't know what you are missing. | |
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| Why do we rate photos so harshly?
Posted: 3/24/2009 11:26:23 AM | I go on there and I give everybody a 10!! Because everyone is beautiful in my eyes, (until they give me reason to view them otherwise). Some of the girls who post pictures on there look really dirty and skanky with the poses and attire they choose to show off. What kind of guy do they expect to attract when they're showing it all off like that?
<div class="quote"> If you put yourself out on display like a steak at a butchers shop, that's just how you will be treated. Like a piece of meat! | |
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| Why do we rate photos so harshly?
Posted: 3/29/2009 11:05:48 AM | I would be just as happy if NONE of the dating sites had photos at all. At first I didn't post a photo on principle- I didn't want to be judged solely on my looks (or lack thereof). But lots of guys won't view a profile with no photo (go ahead, men, prove how shallow your values are!)
I finally gave in and put up a pic or two. The promised drastic increase in interest didn't happen, so I guess the cyber-world is trying to tell me something.... | |
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| Why do we rate photos so harshly?
Posted: 3/29/2009 11:46:34 AM | I find the rate a photo part of this site to just be extra clutter I occasionally rate a few when really bored but beyond that there really seems to be no point. But assuming the participants really want to know - there is no harm either. And I suspect that I, like many others in our age group, rate higher than average because we have learned over time that the "standard" society tries to push on us isn't true beauty.
But the part of this thread I find fascinating is how many feel there is no point to pictures at all. It seems like the same argument about looks vs. personality that I've seen so many times before Right down to the arguments about men / women being so shallow!
I can remember a local service here - back b4 the net - that used a voicemail system for meeting and dating. Women could use it free so several of my exes friends were involved with it. I saw people literally believing they were falling in love with nothing but words and a voice to go on. It was amazing how many changed their tune after that first meet! I got a pretty good view of how you ladies react when surprised by a reality that didn't match an expectation.
Bottom line is that no matter how much we wish it otherwise, physical attraction does matter. And believing that letting someone see your personality first will somehow change that is nothing less than self deception. So pictures definitely have a place here. It doesn't make someone shallow (male or female) if they say "I'm sorry you just aren't appealing to me" based on a picture and profile info. It just makes them honest!
Regards all | |
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| Why do we rate photos so harshly?
Posted: 4/5/2009 12:22:30 AM | | I spoke with a male neighbor of mine that is also on this site. My question was are we supposed to be rating the actual "layout" of the picture or are we supposed be voting on the "looks" of the person. He had a differing opinion than I. What exactly are we voting for? I have professional beautiful shots of myself and my dog 15 years ago. Should I be submitting those for votes. ????? That's rhetorical however, doesn't it make you wonder how many others are confused about the voting? Scubadog22 | |
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| Why do we rate photos so harshly?
Posted: 4/5/2009 7:03:50 AM |
Harshly?
Why rate them at all?
When someone views your profile, they can decide for themselves if they want to contact you or not.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Rating pics without a profile is ridiculous except for those who think that looks are the only thing that matters.
Photos are the first thing that people see. They get their first impression of you in less than a second. The photo inspires them to keep reading or not. You don't need to look like a model, but you want to look decent and inviting. It sends a message about you. If it's an unpleasant message, people aren't going to bother reading your profile.
Like others, I played with it briefly in the beginning. You can see how your photos break down by age range. If people in your age range are rating it decently, that's what's important, not what people young enough to be your kid are rating it. If people in your age range are rating it poorly, maybe it's time to rethink your photo. Maybe you need to take down the one that shows you surrounded by beer bottles and replace it with something that doesn't make you look like a drunk. Or put up one that shows you smiling rather than pouting.
You don't have to look at the ratings. If you do, take it all with a grain of salt. | |
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| Why do we rate photos so harshly?
Posted: 4/8/2009 1:11:15 AM | Personally, I'm just honest & I give my honest reaction. Many years ago, a very good friend of mine told me, never ask a question, to which you are not prepared to receive an honest reply.
Yes, some people are simply mean spirited and many seem to be much more critical of people of our own sex, than they are of the opposite sex. Still, if it bothers you, my suggestion is that you remove the "Rate Photo" option from your profile. | |
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| Why do we rate photos so harshly?
Posted: 4/8/2009 1:45:34 AM | | I rate the pictures and I would say most are in the middle range. The one's I do rate low are ones that you can't even see what's in the picture. Some people just aren't photogenic but they may have a nice smile, eyes, hair that catches my attention and I will rate them higher. | |
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dman82
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Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 70 | |
| Why do we rate photos so harshly?
Posted: 4/8/2009 4:37:15 AM | Whats funny about the rate my pic feature on here is the opposite on hotornot....
the one thing they have in common is that like someone else said the internet is a place for negative people to give their opinion and also I think some people will rate you bad just be an an idiot.
What also happens is if a woman thinks another woman is better looking than her she might rate her lower because of jealousy or insecurity and likewise for men although I think its done by men alot more.
But to elaborate my first point the difference in hotornot and pof is on hotornot you have people who are below average looking to average looking being rated a 8, a 9 anything in that range yet the same type of person on pof would be a 4, 5 or a 6.
We all know that Beauty is in the eye of the beholder so everyones standards are a bit different now and than you have the obvious person who by looks alone is a 9-10 you dont come across them too often though...... | |
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| Why do we rate photos so harshly?
Posted: 4/8/2009 8:04:02 AM | my question would be..why do we rate people at all? I have been on this site under different variations of my screen name for many years, and have never felt qualified to "rate" people. Nor have I ever checked my ratings. I feel if I like someone's appearance, I'll let THEM know, not the whole dating community. Ditto, if I like their narratives. And what people think of me, other than someone who could conceivably be interested in me as a partner, is just not important.
I learned long ago, I need no one else's approval for my happiness!
 ...JMO | |
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| Why do we rate photos so harshly?
Posted: 4/8/2009 10:26:35 PM | Thank you sincerely for all of the posts.
I am going to write POF and ask what exactly we are supposed to be rating. Personally, I hadn't originally had my photo posted to be rated but became curious. Now I am even more curious as to what we are allegedly " rating"-"layout and quality" or "beautifulness/handsomeness of a person's face/body". I'll post what I find out and thank you all for the good responses.
Scubadog22 | |
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| Why do we rate photos so harshly?
Posted: 4/13/2009 10:49:10 PM | | You make a good point. I never did the whole pic rating thing because I just saw it as an ego thing. But there is no other good, anonymous, way to let people know that their pics suck. What I mean by suck is that they are so small and blurry that you can't even distinguish features, or the photos are 10 years old or etc. I consider a "good" photo to be one where I can look at it and, if I'm meeting someone for a date, I can walk into a crowded room and instantly recognize them. I have preferences for what I consider 'beauty' just as anyone does, but I've been 'bashed' by women I've talked to for the simple statement I put on my profile asking for a current photo... as if ALL I cared about was what they looked like. I don't know if they are concerned that they are not aging as gracefully as they would like or what, but lets be real. I'm 46 yrs old... I'm not stupid enough to be looking for a 25 yr old bikini model! But what I DO want is a woman who takes care of themselves as well as they can and are comfortable with who they are. I can guarantee that the dishonesty of presenting themselves as something they aren't, whether visually or in their profile, is more of a deal-breaker for me than any extra wrinkles or 'love handle' they may have. | |
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| Why do we rate photos so harshly?
Posted: 4/14/2009 4:23:47 PM | | I agree with whiteflames. When you can't pay your morgage, when your kids are sick or your mate is dieing. Looks is the last thing people think about. I think it's good to keep yourself up, but worrying about looks is one of the worst sins of this earth. The initial attraction thing is just in the beginning, it takes work to keep the marriage alive and growing. | |
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| Why do we rate photos so harshly?
Posted: 4/14/2009 9:12:14 PM | I like to rate photo. It's kind of fun, and I don't like to give bad ratings to anyone. If someone is not that attractive, but may have a nice smile, eyes or looks kind, I will usually give them a high rating. I want everyone to do good here. If I really don't like a photo then I just don't rate it. I was always taught if I can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all. I never want to be cruel to anyone. Mostly everyone is here for the same reason to find love. I am rated average and feel really good about it. I was curious and wanted to be rated. People have been kind. It helps self esteem sometimes. That is why I would never want to put anyone down or give a bad rating. The only thing that bothers me on POF is the "See Who Thinks You're Hot" section. That is depressing.  I hope everyone here finds the love they want. We put so much on looks and forget to look into the heart and soul of the person.
Happy fishing. | |
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