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| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 10/19/2007 5:39:30 PM | | not EVERY guy is like that.some of us[few] think beautifull eyes that you want to trust are more important than being a size 0.But Hydrogen & stupidity are the 2 most common elements,so you're gonna meet a lotta idiots. | |
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| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 10/19/2007 5:46:22 PM | | Honey, I ain't no barbie either. 64% of all women are size 12 or larger. I'm part of the majority. I figure, if they don't message me back, they aren't worth my precious time anyway. Keep looking and don't lose hope. You'll find someone. | |
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| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 10/19/2007 5:49:38 PM | Because there are plenty of barbies out there. Men are visual. That is why we have plastic surgery. If someone can not except you for who you are you dont want them anyway and if you want to look like barbie then demand a Ken.lol There is someone for everyone. Take up a hobby and you will meet the person. you wont meet him on a dating site............ The men I have had have never been off here. Join a bowling leauge, or start something fun you always wanted to do. Good luck in your journeys. | |
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| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 10/19/2007 6:23:53 PM | I am not a barbie....
Im 4-10 a ladies size8-10, and long red hair fair skin nope definately not a barbie...
and want to know something?? I am a kind and conciderate soul and there are peopel that get me....it has nothign to do with the outer look i have....sure i get attention by the almighty red head hunters...but I get a great deal of attention by gents of various interests, ages, income brackets, and looks....
I have been ontacted by military men of 26 to retired civil engineers of 63...I have dated pretty much every typ eof men there are...and the only thing that anyof the successful relationships had in common were that they were comfortable with whom they were, they were comfortable with whom i was, and i was comfortable being myself with them and i was confortable with whom they were....I enjoyed who they were and they enjoyed me the way i was.
so Barbie is just a visual.....and quite frankly....some men think of me as a barbie type....I think not butthey look at me as an attractive smallish woman with pizazz..and curves...believe it or not the fellas that i daed saw barbie as a curvy doll...not a thin one..
red | |
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| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 10/19/2007 6:37:42 PM | | I'm not Ken, and I get ignored on this site. I'm nice, honest, and fun, but because I'm 5'8" I get ignored. And I'm not even seeking Barbie. In fact, I'm not attracted to Barbie. I mean, get real! Why would a woman who is 5'2" need a man who is 6' or taller? Oh well, I wouldn't be interested in someone so shallow anyway, so, it's all good! | |
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| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 10/19/2007 6:40:07 PM | I've been on a real Beauty Myth kick lately. There is a flipside to female beauty that can make things more difficult for women when they are dating. Because of my hobbies and interests, I have been surrounded by beautiful women for many years. From what I can see, there are many beautiful, smart, funny and good-hearted gals that spend their weekend nights dateless.
Why? Because some of them are smart enough NOT to buy into the whole game. Men with less than honourable intensions tend to be the first in line while the nice, shy guy may be too intimidated to approach. Also some guys have repressed anger towards women whom they find beautiful that goes way back to the days when they didn't get the prom queen. Don't they realize that some women may have actually opted out of whole prom queen myth? Some (based on an article I've seen posted on another site), assume that beautiful women just want them for their money.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and although I don't look like Barbie or even a classic Westernized model (even though it's fun to play femme fatale when I feel like it), I have learned how to shamelessly honour my own unique beauty. It's one of the things that no one can take away, even when I get older as taking care of my internal and external beauty is for me, not the male eye (...unless I say so). Guess what? It works! Beauty and sexiness come from within. (Email me privately OP, if you'd like some resources.)
When I get melancholy from time-to-time about being single, I see average looking couples around me, I can feel slightly envious of their natural bond that's not based on the superficial. So, no, I don't believe that women who don't look like Barbie get overlooked--women who don't honour their unique beauty do.
On the Barbie thing--I actually had a reference to the Barbie fallacy on my new profile ("Imagination that is your creation"...). However, I meant the Aqua song, which I think is cool because it pokes fun of the whole dynamic. I decided that most probably wouldn't get that I was being facetious, so I took it off.
BTW--I LOVE that Dove soap campaign and Naomi Wolf is an excellent author for material on female beauty (she wrote "The Beauty Myth"). | |
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| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 10/19/2007 6:57:18 PM | | I am no Barbie either...Not a size 2 or 4 or even a 12...but I still have men contact me or respond to emails....listen men are visual creatures by nature.... they are 9 time out of 10 responding to you based on what they think you look like. In fact 9 out of 10 times I'm contacting someone based on what they look like, then if they have something positive in the personality department to back it. Exspecially on a site like this, it's idealistic at best to think that you aren't being judged on how you look , at least initially. The good news is looks are all relative...it's sterotypical to think all men want a Barbie type girl...in fact many more than you think do not. The old saying " beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is more than just a cute thing to say...it's also true. Maybe it has more to do with your approach then your looks? Try switching up how you write emails when making contact...site something specific about what you read in their profile...makes it more personal. Sincerely, the best of luck. | |
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| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 10/19/2007 7:13:10 PM |
It would be interesting to do statistics on what the "average" physical attributes and "age range" is for women that the "average" man finds attractive and visa versa. Has anyone heard of any such study?
Sure there is. Real data. Just browse through profiles and see which ones have 5 favorites and which ones have 800 favorites. Yeah. They exist. | |
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| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 10/19/2007 7:44:39 PM | I came on site also with very little response myself only jerks!!!!!. Men go for ugly women because they do anything .Nobodies into nice women no more its trash turn.Bad girls make it hard for good women to stand a chance with good men.live and let live. Just don't give up I mean i haven't given up on finding a good mate but i have actually given up on this site.Not much to offer. For those who have had such good luck with site congrads..... | |
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| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 10/19/2007 10:02:52 PM | When I was growing up, I felt unnattractive and most boys 'liked me for a friend'...
Then at some point in hs, I got contacts and from that alone confidence (why I don't know as many women and men are quite attractive with glasses).. but I always thought the confidence in myself is what started attracting men to me. Yes, a few boys as well, but I never dated anyone in hs who was in my grade or my age. Had a couple younger ones that liked me and mostly older guys back then.
I liked playing with Barbies when I was a kid, and yes, those clothes were hard to get on and off her and I also learned that you can't cut Barbie's hair and expect it to grow back (this was back in he '70's when long blond hair was cool... this Barbie had dark hair and when I cut it, short dark hair, she then became the ugly Barbie...lol!).
I never really wanted to be Barbie, but I did want to be Jeanie! She was cute and also very mischievous and had the ability to punish her man when he ignored her.... lol! I wanted to be Tinker Bell too (for the same reasons). Another character from back then that I admired was Lisa Douglas, although she was married to an old guy who moved her ass to a farm, she did get to just throw out the dishes when they were dirty..LOL!
I never cared for Samantha Stephens though as she was married to a fugly man (BOTH Darren's were fugly) and she tried so hard to 'please him'... what a dumb ****. Not that I don't enjoy pleasing my man and I always do above and beyond, but come on, Darren was a idiot ... he could have OWNED Larry Tate!
As far are 'Ken', gay! I only owned one Ken, it was the then new 'mod hair' Ken.. he had dark longish 'real' hair.
Back to reality.. when I was all of a sudden 'discovered' as someone dateable in hs, I had other goals than men. Like graduating and moving to CA where my cuz lived. So I experienced for the first time in my life the feeling of being pursued and although enjoying it, no real need for any relationship. That was WEIRD for me.
I am now 42 and single, I have been back thru the feelings of being unworthy many times over. But I like myself more and more each day.
To me, it's not all about the looks and the older I get the more I see that. What would anyone do if they were to meet and marry a 'Barbie' (ridiculous preportions that she has and all.. she'd be like 7 ft tall...lol) and she got to be about 80 yrs old.
She would probably not be as attractive even with all the modern anti aging tools. Of course this is assuming the man she married had the money for all that.. like say.. Hugh Hefner or 'The Donald'.
I would rather fall for someone I personally found attractive in all senses of the meaning. Let's face it, WE WILL ALL GET OLD!
The real question should be: 'Do you want a real lifetime relationship with a real person who will age as you will? Someone who you can relate to and trust and love you because of your 'faults'?
I once had a guy I loved tell me that he loved me because 0f my faults, not despite of them. THAT is the kind of person I want to be with ultimately.
Unfortunately he was not emotionally available at the time. Five years later when he was, I had moved on. Such is life.
Seriously, sorry to see the OP has deleted her profile now. Best of luck to her and everyone else. | |
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| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 10/19/2007 11:55:00 PM | Kariharte--When I was in high school, I was so shy and geeky. When the boys looked at me funny, I thought it was because I had spinach in my teeth. When "Mr. Ken Doll" talked to me, I thought it was only because my dad was a volunteer coach for the boy's basketball team.
When I was in my early 20s, I connected with a guy friend from high school who let me in on a little secret...he told me that a lot of the boys thought I was one of the hottest girls in high school, they just thought I was a "snob". Go figure...I'm sure my father would say that it's a good thing that I didn't know that then...
About faults--that makes me think of Frida Khalo. She had a limp from having polio as a child and a unibrow, but because of how she carried herself and her faults, she was a beautiful temptress to many. | |
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| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 10/20/2007 6:28:34 PM | ~OP~ I'm no Barbie either. In fact, far from it. I am more like Skipper, I think she's the sister. I'm the cell-phone holder, the child-getter, the DD, the dateless one, etc. It's OK with me. Barbie has a vocabulary of a door-knob and Ken has hair that simply shouldn't even on a plastic toy. I'm overlooked all the time. You just have to like who you are and one day someone will see the "Barbie" in you ~ it just doesn't get better than that.  | |
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| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 10/21/2007 10:30:27 AM | I don't want this to come out rude, but it probably will.
Assume that these statements are 100% true, because they are.
1.Human beings are naturally selfish to a degree, that degree changes depending on the person. I am an incredibly generous person, but I will always look out for myself first, and so would any of you.
2.All people desire a physical attraction to their partner, because if there is no physical attraction, the relationship is doomed to fail. This is indisputable. The fact that you aren't a "barbie" is going to reduce the amount of messages you receive, but take solace in the fact that the ones who do message you, are doing it for reasons beyond sole physical attraction.
3.You aren't being over-looked, your being looked-over just like the rest of us. We all wan't that perfect partner, it's just perfection goes hand in hand with certain "search criteria" for most. | |
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| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 10/21/2007 10:49:26 AM | | i have messaged guys and gotten no response. there can be many reasons that have nothing to do with looks. maybe there is something in my profile that just doesnt suit them... i mean even down to how i might be dressed or how i wear my hair, which might convey something to them about my lifestyle. be patient, you never know whats around the corner | |
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| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 10/21/2007 1:54:41 PM | GageforFun
Thanks for the atta boy on pic. I did remove the pictures. since I wasn't called Barbie, very often, but was called something like Baywatch a couple of times. Asked if I could really be 47. LOL. Told I had my daughters pictures up here instead of mine..I had myself doing all kinds of sports shots. Not good enough. Got real tired of defending myself, for a great gene pool..
I was hit with all kinds of offers..I actually chortled. The men that were calling me a fake were the ones that offering the most disgusting things..
Now back to topic..
Men don't want a Barbie, nor do we want a Ken
What we do want is someone that loves themselves enough to take care of themselves..
Make some wise choices instead of eating the quart of IceCream eat only the pint. Instead of walking to your mailbox walk there once in while. etc etc...
People that are negative are going to get negative responses.. People that are positive, have a positive outlook on life are going to get that returned.
I have a friend she is a solid size 16 that women has more men drooling over her..We go clubbing in Juneau. I am the wall flower way more than she is. So will I believe it is about size No way in bloody hel1.
Attitude !! Attitude!! is the way to go.If you come across insecure about the way you look... clingy .. needy... not good enough well that is what people will pickup on..
If come across, happy, content.. caring... confident... etc. that is what you are projecting.
. A great Chef said once it isnt' about the food only ...It is Presentation Darling. Presentation is everything...
As far as the OP being gone for a year, Who cares this is a valid topic..
Now Strange Girl didn't your mama teach you to share. Now let some of those darling men go.. It is not nice to be stingy.. You stinker...
gotta love you tho,
One more topic.. someone said in here the really beautiful smart ladies are sitting at home, No shi* Sherlock we want to be wanted for more than a great body. That dna had more to do with than we did. I have always said the way to me is thru my mind. Not stupid empty headed compliments.. that are appropriate for 7th grade.maybe.. | |
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| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 10/21/2007 3:39:34 PM | | Some people would consider me to be a "Barbie". Not every man is interested in me. Some men aren't attracted to me. Some other men aren't interested in me becaose of reasons that have nothing to do with looks. Therefore I don't think that every man only likes "Barbies". BTW just because a woman is a slender blonde, that doesn't mean that she is dumb and has a poor personality. | |
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| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 10/21/2007 3:46:16 PM | donno bout the barbie thing but there r alot of ignorant people on here if u say hello its only PROPER to respond just like on the street
however u r not missin nothin, cause if they dont answer they are rude and have no training on how to behave socially so u dodged a bullett so dont take it badly take it for what it is ....ignorance (alot of it goin around
kathi ) | |
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| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 10/21/2007 9:34:58 PM | I've been on dating service before the WWW started, I was instrumental in writing the software for some of them.
You WOMEN are the biggest hippocrits in the world, when you are contacted by genuinly nice guys worth a million dollars, there not cute enough. When cute (phony pictures) men contact you its all lovey dovey.
When you want SUPERMAN well then I can expect BARBIE at the very least!, you could be fat as hell, silicon filled, sagging skin, 50 years old, and still be looking for superman.
Allot of guys have learned bullshit works, so they don't thow that bullshit at normal women or even satisfactory women, if your going to bullshit yuo might as well thow it at barbie and while your at it send he fake flowers and post a ridiculously incorrect young picture of yourself and mention how you are athletic, strong, making good money and supermans assistant soon to gradute to full superman.
Start answering the e-mails from guys you think are worthless and maybe you won't have to also fake a barbie pictre for your profile.
I get allot of replies to my messages, from black guys in nigeria who are okay with my real messages and honesty and for some odd reason look just like barbie or probably you.
But the real women who ALL say they want an honest guy, ignore me at worse and tell me they are in a new relationship now that the've seen my picture.
oh and most of the real barbies now come with children cause they fell for the bullshit earlier so consider yourself lucky that you don't look like barbie, and unlucky that The real superman was human and a horse did him in.
Duf | |
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| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 10/21/2007 9:46:22 PM | And most men wont have anything to do with women unless they are a Heidi klum lookalike. Meanwhile they have a belly the size of a 15 month pregnant woman ,balding and at best below average in looks. No one gender is better then the other and both genders are guilty of doing the same thing .
Personally i don't want a superman or a hottie . Give me the average guy any day who knows how to laugh and is fun to be with . I can't stand men who are alway whining ,b!tching and complaining. Someone who can never see the funny side of life or can't get a joke is not someone for me.
Nice guys don't gender bash or b!tch about how all WOMEN are spawns of Satan. Nice women don't gender bash either or tar all men with the same brush.I am so sick of all the men/women haters out there who insist on blaming the opposite sex for everything that goes wrong in their life. If you keep getting shot down and kicked in the teeth by the opposite sex then have you considered that just maybe YOU are the one who is picking the wrong type of people? No of course not because that would mean that you have to take some personal responsibility for how shitty your life is. | |
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| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 10/21/2007 9:47:51 PM | | I have emailed some men and they don't email me back. I do not take it personally. I really don't want the guy that wants Barbie anyway. I hardly look like Barbie but get quite a bit of mail. It isn't just about that! It works both ways and i think women are just as critical. | |
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