| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 10/21/2007 10:02:42 PM | I am guilty of this myself. But I can tell you it isn't about you.. just the other persons comfort level and confidence I guess. I have dated a few me shorter than myself. But I always felt huge with them..I am not a huge woman by anymeans.. But I am curvy and kinda tall. But I always felt this way in the back of my mind and in my skin.... Some of the shorter men I have dated were very great guys and continued on as great friends.
Just my thoughts!
Jen | |
|
clay71
|
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 152 | |
| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 10/21/2007 10:10:45 PM | Barbies are way too skinny,plastic,and don't have a single thought in their head.
You know like Paris and her clone Nicole? I have seen a number of women on this site that are way more attractive, and interesting than those two quadroopled.But I'm pretty sure why I don't get responses, I've already got 3 strikes against me.
1.I'm a drummer 2.I'm a scorpio. 3.I'm no Ken. So......... | |
|
| |
| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 10/22/2007 9:16:58 AM | And most men wont have anything to do with women unless they are a Heidi klum lookalike. Meanwhile they have a belly the size of a 15 month pregnant woman ,balding and at best below average in looks. No one gender is better then the other and both genders are guilty of doing the same thing .
Replace "most men" with "some men" and I would agree with you. | |
|
| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 10/22/2007 9:27:25 AM | | averageblonde222.... I am 36 and have never seen or heard of any woman ever reaching 15 months pregnant...that is a medical impossibility.... but anyway to everyone else I am one man who will not even talk to a woman that weighs less than 145...anything less is just not acceptable...... | |
|
| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 10/22/2007 4:10:55 PM | James do you truly not get sarcasam when you read it . Jeeze some people.
of course there is not such thing as 15 months pregnant . I was being "SARCASTIC" . By the way i did say most i did not say all men . | |
|
| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 10/23/2007 12:23:46 PM | I actually go out of my way to NOT date "perfect" men. (Ken Dolls) on the other hand my bestfriend of 22yrs finds them to be conquests. and only goes for them.
I have been hurt by way to many Ken's and have found the "normal" "average" men to be more genuine, down to earth and openminded in dating. I dated this bodybuilder type and boy was he dumb and dull as a box of rocks.. but he sure was pretty. NOT ENOUGH!
Most all women WISH they were barbie.. But if they were they would wish to be average.
It's a vicious cycle... :(
I have been the "barbie" type before.. Did fashion runway modeling for 5years.. and found it to be so overwhelming.. Men want to conquer you, want you to be their trophy not their mate. They want you to shut up and just look pretty.
I felt better about myself when I was considered average again.. (a little more weight on me, not always in makeup and nails done, not always in the eye catching drop dead wardrobe etc...)
Just my 2 cents...
Jen | |
|
| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 10/23/2007 12:39:23 PM | ^^^Exactly!!!!  I also had a very brief stint in a related world (just for fun, yet), but I did just as well with that as I did with my brief stint waitressing in my teens. I would think: "You want WHAT?!? Get bent! AND give me back that cheesecake." Actually, I have more appreciation for combat-boot feminism (and I take pot-shots at that type of feminism all the time) than I do for an industry that thrives on the low self-esteem of both women and men.
I'm not interested in the "Ken doll" type either. However, if a guy happens to have that look (he can't help it), but is a kind, good-hearted person, I'm certainly not going to reject him just because of his looks either.
Actually, I once saw a program somewhere that covered a study about what people find attractive. It turns out that the standard supermodel (both male and female) have average looking features and that's precisely what makes them attractive. For example, someone with a larger nose or disproportionate eyes would not be considered attractive.
What I think is sad is the social angst I see towards beautiful women just because they are beautiful. Jeez people--go take a kick-boxing class or something and get it out of your systems!
BTW: The skinny, skinny standard for attractiveness is solely manfactured by modern media. Remember Marilyn Monroe? Also, think back to Rueben's days when voluptous women were considered most attractive because they were well-fed and therefore, believed to be connected with good fortune. | |
|
| |
| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 10/29/2007 7:44:29 AM | | mnajarian, Now I know why some women like myself can't get a fair shake on dating sites. Guy's like you write the programs for it. You've become seriously bitter about women. I've had a lot of heart ache in my life but I'm not bitter. I have dated only a few pretty boys in my life and their always hiding the biggest stuff( hiding from multiple maternity cases, closet gay,lying about age). It's the average guy that says he's a good guy that will tell you anything to get what he wants and how these other guys that broke your heart were dumb and he would never do that and guess what he usually does the same thing when he gets what he wants. I know the real thing is out there somewhere but it's kinda like UFO's it would be egotistical to think we were the only intelligent life in the universe. On a side note if you emailed me I wouldn't email you back because you were too far away not because of your looks. | |
|
| |
| |
| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 11/7/2007 5:56:05 PM | Well, all I can say is you are NOT overlooked,.... just not seeing the better qualities of those you have probably ignored yourself....hmmmm?
We are all creatures susceptable to visual imagery and most of the time we will go for the idealized.
Just something to chew on...... | |
|
| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 11/7/2007 6:09:31 PM | Umm. I don't think that's always true. But the little Barbie look a likes that are mean will let you think that way. And if all someone wants is a Barbie look a like - that's just prejudiced meaning that they judge you. But in my opinion if someone wants to impose such strict beauty standards on others - they may need to get their head checked because it's unrealistic and unfair. I think all women's body styles are beautiful. But I'm gay - and I understand how you feel and feel rejected by those images being over imposed on young girls... No one body style should be deemed superior.... And that my friends is equality.
And no body style should be deemed inferior - it's all about looking and feeling healthy
 | |
|
| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 1/4/2008 9:54:43 AM | It is the same for the men. How come men are often overlooked if they don't look like "KEN" plus the that men are also overlooked unless they mention the money factor. They have to pretend, as any man with lots of money would not be here on this site as he has enough women hanging on to his pants already!!!
Many women on here are looking for a Sugar Daddy and he even has to look great too!!! omg much harder on this side so stick it out as you look great and a photo is always good for photogenic people which is 10% of the population, look at the mags with airbrushing still. | |
|
| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 1/4/2008 10:01:19 PM | | I don't think I'm horribly unattractive, but most of the men on here that I send messages to never even bother to reply. They read and delete. Everyone has their preferences and you just have to find someone who has you as their preference. It happens to everyone, so don't feel bad. | |
|
| |
boot82
|
Joined: 12/29/2007
Msg: 168 | |
| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 1/5/2008 5:34:05 PM | | You are probably not getting replies for the same reason so many guys get overlooked. So many women put on their profile that the very important qualities like honesty, faithfulness, and dependability are the first attributes that they notice and judge whether they will e-mail the man back or not. But in reality, it is always the physical looks and appearance that decides this. They dont realize they are leading men on to believe they have a chance, when in fact because they are not handsome and cute, they dont stand a chance. What they should really be saying is that they are looking for a cute guy that is honest and faithful. I have yet meet a person who can look at a picture into its soul and see if they are honest. If these people are looking for honesty as a quality in a future mate, maybe they should start practicing it themselves in their profiles. | |
|
| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 1/5/2008 5:36:56 PM | I just wanted to say it works both ways you know, I mean some of us guys get over looked. I'm not Brad Pitt but I'm not the Phantom of the opera either.
OK I may be young but I've learnt a few things from life, it's give & take. I have been on here a while & so far only 5 people have shown any real interest in me as a person. I mean what does your profile have to say to make people take an interest?
(Unless your 6ft have stunningly white teeth & earn £32000 you ain't got a hope in hell)
It's grinds my gears when people look at your profile & if they do Email you, show that they have not read anything you have written, for example I'm a non smoker so it annoys me when I get an Email that says do you smoke? READ MY PROFILE!
All the things you want to know are written there.
I'd like to get an Email that shows the person sending it took the time to find out things about me.
I'd also like to point out that people who choose to date someone only on there looks are shallow & insecure & all together not worth the effort.
Find someone with a good personality or an interest that is the same as yours, you'll be much happier that way. It takes time to find THE ONE believe me.
I'm one rejection short of throwing the towel in & calling it a day & I'm only 20.
So smile be positive & remember good things come to those who wait.
LonelyPhantom (Mike) | |
|
| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 1/5/2008 5:46:14 PM | | Look, it's not that you're not a barbie. Do you have a picture at all? The girl I'm talking to is really cute to me, but I suppose not to everybody from what she says. My point is that you don't have to be a barbie, but physical attraction is important to every relationship. It's what makes us as mamals want to...... mate which equals reproduction. It's normal for guys and women alike to want somebody physically attractive. If you don't get a message back, try putting a picture up of yourself. If you're that scared about it, then change yourself if you really want to that badly. You are a human. Adapt to your situation. | |
|
vro312
|
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 171 | |
| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 1/5/2008 5:57:12 PM | I'm not a Barbie by any stretch of the imagination, but I have not been overlooked.
If you REALLY want to change what's happening for you, here's what you do:
Respond to every single guy who e-mails YOU, regardless of what he says, regardless of what he looks like or how tall he is, regardless of whether or not you would be caught dead in public with him. And say something nice, even if his message was offensive (then, obviously, make it clear that you're not interested, if you're not interested, and don't respond to anymore of his messages). Be "open minded" and chat with someone you already know isn't your "type."
See how that works and report back to us.
[Note . . . I am aware that the OP has been MIA for over a year.] | |
|
| Can someone help me out here?
Posted: 1/5/2008 7:24:33 PM | I am listener to these male/female contributers about the "Barbie Doll" issue. It's driving me nuts...
O.K. I'm 39, I am sure as hell not ugly nor do I have a boring/mundane profile. I'm lucky if I get a couple of hits a week on this site. I'm a bit on the few extra lbs/voluptuous side, however.
That said...I think it has to do with the market. All the average looking women who are getting inundated with replies live all over the country, like Idaho, Kentucky, Virginia, etc. I live in the New York Metro Area and let me tell ya folks, this ain't an easy market. If I depended on this as my only dating strategy, I think I'd die celibate.
If you don't look like Heidi Klum and if you're over 30...it's **** hard around here. Any other gals from NY or NJ who can comment?
(Not to gripe or complain or anything, but just griping and complaining....)  | |
|
| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 1/5/2008 7:33:12 PM | | I'm pretty open minded. I think maby you should figure out what you're doing wrong. Then you should realize that your man is out there, you just haven't run into him yet. Maby you are looking for the wrong ones. | |
|
| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 1/5/2008 7:41:57 PM | Thanks, Ex. And I hope you're right about finding the right one.
I just have a funny feeling that it's the geographic region. I know my pictures could be better...but still.
If it is a geographic thing, it would be good to know. Maybe I'll start a whole new thread on this because I've talked to men in NY and NJ and they said that if you don't have a bankroll that can choke a horse, you're a bit handicapped in the game of love around these parts.
Food for thought....difficulties for both genders.
--Liz | |
|
| How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked....
Posted: 1/5/2008 7:46:12 PM | K_Leigh...I've seen your profile, you're beautiful. 
You're young, keep on truckin'...Interesting thing I noticed, though. When I tried to send you a reply in your profile...I couldn't get through.
Do you have a LOT of blocks and filters on your profile?
And thanks everyone for the responses--this is some of the most valuable input I've read anywhere on these topics.
--Liz | |
|
Home
login 
