| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/9/2007 7:58:17 PM | I have a 4 yr old and her father pays NO child support and has no visitation and i love it that way. When he gets a job and I find out he quits his job so that he doesn't have to pay. I'm going to court to get full custody of her this week! I served him papers and he never responded. One day he'll have to pay me something but for now i'll leave it this way. I'm greedy i don't like to share her  | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/9/2007 8:08:34 PM | | I am a single mother of a 2 year old little girl. My ex and I broke up before I even knew I was pregnant. When I told him about the baby.....he told me where me and MY child could go!! (So I told him where I thought he could go). I have never gotten a single cent from him. And I don't want it either. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/10/2007 8:20:13 AM | | I got no help from my x, I had my 9 month old son for visitation twice a week so she could have a break but i still had my 3 year old girl 24/7 on top and the x had nothing to do with her. now she is trying to get full time residency of both after she took my little girl now that my little girl is a little girl, not a baby and the hard stuff is over. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/12/2007 10:12:19 AM | | i too am a single mother and im so pround of the job ive done, its been very sad and lonely at times i spent 11month juggleing motherhhood whilst trying to run a home be close to my son hold back my tears and stand tall durning the 11mth both my 34yr old brother and 63 yr old mum was dieing of cancer, in the final weeks i lost my mother brother and dad too, i recuse animals and im a mum dad and friend to my son but all the pain, heart ache, that was killing without my boy id never have been here now, throught the time as a single mum me and my boy have pulled througth, the death of my mum, dad, brother, 2close anties, my sons other grandma, a illness of mine, and a very abusive father he had, also me and my boy are animal mad i rescue animals and along the way weve had to lose some, also the normal surrgle of being a single parent and working to give the only the best and the loniness we as hunans all our needs the closenss of one we love,,, but i wouldnt change a thing a boy my angel theres no duet about that im pround of the job i do and so shold you,, good luck and bad time sad tiimes its nothing with our babys by our side, they will stand by you always were parnters will come and go,,, good luck on you journeysxxxx | |
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Tigi
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Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 231 | |
| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/12/2007 11:39:03 AM | My ex-husband pays his maintenance and seems to consider that his duty is done. He has seen our daughter just once in the last three and a half years, and she didn't recognise him when she did see him.
She's at an age now where it is starting to bother her, but if she wants to ring him, I give her the phone and she does it. He keeps promising to see her - maybe during the summer holidays, maybe before Christmas, maybe during half-term, and it never happens, and she is beginning to realise this.
She is an extraordinary child - very, very able and articulate - and he is missing so much. But it is his loss. For me it makes life easier because I don't have to see him or deal with him (he has a nasty temper).
The hardest part for me is that it is a full 24hour job with no-one else to help - no-one to say, go in the bath and relax and I'll make you a cup of tea, no-one to say I'll take her to the park for an hour to give you a break. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/12/2007 5:23:55 PM | | I have never had any help from the ex and even took care of one of his other kids that I loved as my own and raised as my own for 7 years! It isn't that difficult to take care of children and work I've been doing it for going on 8 years and have always done it alone and have grown acustomed to raising my children alone and I like it that way even though I wonder about what it would be like having a father involved in a child I may have in the future would be like! | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/12/2007 5:36:47 PM | I really don't understand why this happens to single parents...both were willing to do it....I have a boy who is almost 6. His father hasn't been involved AT ALL!!! He owes close to $10,000 to date. To me it really doesn't matter about the money...I wanted my son to be involved with his dad but his dad didn't want to be a father...that was totally his desicion. One day he came to serve me papers to take me back to court...bcuz he wasn't involved with my son, he thought he shouldn't have to pay child support...HAHA wrong buddy!!! anhyways, I asked him if he wanted to meet his son now that he wqas 4 my son knew his dad only by talking about him...now talking about him cuz he asked questions....the guy said hi and my son went to give him a hug and his dad turned away from him and walked away....now from the decision my son made and comment was, "My dad is rude!" That man will never again be in my son's life...I beleive he walked away and I think he should keep walking....today without him my son is very comical, intellegent, smart, sincere, honest little man...and he doesn't need someone like that in his life!!!!
So, I'm saying that if your ex has walked away let her go and just think of your boys and how much better they will be without that type of person in their life. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/12/2007 7:52:08 PM | I was awarded custody after my ex moved in with an abusive boyfriend. Funny how things change when the shoe is on the other foot. I always paid child support and never missed a payment, but now that I have custody, it seems to be "okay" that she doesn't pay me anything. It is so common to to hear of "deadbeat dads" but what about the mothers who feel supporting a child isn't their responsibility if they don't have the child.
I have to tip my hat to any guy that puts his children's needs ahead of their own. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/12/2007 9:35:32 PM | amazing isn't it.
by law everyone is equal and entitled to the same rights.
ironically,
everyone
EXCEPT white males btwn 21 & 64 (in some cases 21 to 34)
gets various forms of preferential treament and "extra protection" by laws being written specifically on their behalf.
and then there are also the unspoken preferences that run sexual and racial lines.
can't comvince me the "systems" aren't against men.
anyone know of a single law or other protection white males?
only one i can think of is, in military, no women in armed combat.
*footnote*
i am not trying to make this racial, i only mention "white" because they are a few laws that specially mention protections for various races of color. although i am not aware fo any that do so in terms of child custody.. possibally some may in regards to jurisdictional issues for american indians, eskimos and pacific islanders. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/13/2007 11:33:25 AM | Children deserve to be supported by both parents..its their right not a option,
When the court decrees child support is due they should pay it or go to jail.
Gender should nothing to do with it!.
We can't force people to have relationships with our kids, kids need stability
and steadfast home environment.
Besides putting kids thru disappointments with the absent parent most of the time
is un avoidable, its not a fair life lesson...we want to protect our kids from feeling
abandonment and all types of abuse.
Recently in the news so many Female Pedophile school teachers...have been getting very little in the way of jail time or punishment for being sexual predators, against young boys, makes me wonder just how many female sexual deviants are actually in the community... how sick these human being are...its even more sick that the courts cut them a deal...and they are back in society...
Had they been another Race or Men I'm certain... they would be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
Why have been we accepting this double standard.?
Hugs Doll | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/13/2007 12:22:28 PM |
Children deserve to be supported by both parents
I for one totally agree with you Doll. But why should it always be based on CS. Children maintain this lifestyle and that lifestyle and so on. Then why is there so many kids without having their father in their lives, when these dads want nothing more to be their fathers and in their lives. Yes sure there are those out there who want nothing to do with them, and i feel so awful for those kids.
I mean ask yourself how many guys do you know who want to be in their kids lives and aren't because someone won't let them.. someone will make up stories, someone will make false alligations, or someone felt they should move away with the kids. i don't care what ppl say thats kidnapping, only legalised. Then we wonder why some men say FUG IT, if i am not good enough to be their dad then why should i be good enough to support them.
I know my ex can say i never help her out at all with our kids. But then thats not my choice it is that way. SO it makes me wonder how many parents complain or beech about the kids other parent NOT helping out, and its not that they don't its because they are PREVENTED.
yea sure take it back to court spend thousands more dollars for what? Will that parent get a slap on the hands for obstructing? I have only ever seen one case of such where that happened, and what did happen. mom still retained custody of the child, recieved a fine, and a lecture.
So again ask yourselves how many don't get help from the other parent because they have set up obsticals and such, if your one of thses ppl, then stop your beechin | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/15/2007 6:31:45 PM | Realdealiowa;
It really is an awful indicator of what is happening in our society to see how many posts we have on this thread.
My ex-husband left the children and I when my youngest was 14 months old. My step-daughter who had lived with HIM and visited with her mother on weekends etc., went to live with her mother. My ex went to BC (we lived in Ont.) to live with his parents as he felt that he didn't want to be a husband or father any more.
He has had no contact with my 2 children, and the contact he's had with my step-daughter (who is now 23) has been fleeting and destructive. She wants NOTHING to do with him.
What I find amusing is that she and I have a fantastic relationship since he's out of the picture.
I have never bad-mouthed their father to them, however I have had to explain his absence in the last 9 years over and over again.
Unfortunately, I cannot afford to 'chase him down' and try to legally force him to pay child support. I have paid for everything for my children and quite honestly, I don't want his money! (part of me thinks it would be nice to put any $ he would pay into an education fund for the kids, but other than that, I don't want his $$)
I think my children will have to grow up and make their own decision about their father. I refuse to put them in the middle by making them feel like they have to stand up for their father.
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/15/2007 7:32:23 PM | Look after my daughter who's just turned 6yrs.
The last two yrs her mother decided she had 'things to do' mostly at a pub.
Took me a year to come to terms with the fact that our daughter was better off without her.
I have sole residency and the last 6 months haven't see her, but then I foolishly sent her a msg 23:30pm on NY eve..
1 hr later she's banging on back door pissed/high..
alternating between applogizing and telling me to F* off to hell, blah blah.
She promised her daughter she'd bring her her presents at 2 pm and re promised she'd be there..
Calls at 1:30pm to say she can't come and will come another day..
I bet there are a lot of guys out there that recognise it.. there are more and more binge drinking failures..
It's avoidable too. It's the present binge drink fad that is doing it.
Just so some company directors can get their bonuses.
I know women have had same behaviour from guys for decades, but I personally think the boot is on the other foot nowadays..
Women seem to give up a lot quicker too.. specially when they see that dad is doing a better job.
Its a shame really.. but I wouldn't be without my daughter.. I can put up with no love life etc..
I'm happy, my daughter is happy
and its my ex's 'life' choice as my barrister put it.
That's life!
C'est la vie!
Slik er livet!
PS I found reading these post uplifting.. It's nice to know you're not the only one. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/15/2007 7:49:24 PM |
Its a privilege,this honor & responsibilty of raising my Son alone. Praise God every day
for allowing me to be the one that can be here for this awesome young man.
This says it all for me. I have raised my daughter with the support of my friends and family. I could not have gotten as far as I have with out them. I left her father when I was 3 weeks pregnant. Being pregnant gave me the strength I needed to get out of an abusive relationship. I have not heard a word from him since the first week she was born. I thank God everyday for that. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/15/2007 7:56:18 PM | | I get no help from my ex but then I do not care either. It's not money I would want anyways. If anything someone around to help with the normal day to day stuff. Then again that is too much like a relationship | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/16/2007 10:19:25 AM | Me and my girl have been on our own from the very begining.. and i wouldnt want it any other way.. her DNA daddy wasnt man enough to step up and think about something other then himself.. so were both better off..and from what ive gathered.. you cant get money where there isnt any.. so why bother..
lol.. and who am i kidding.. i dont want to share her anyway.. she my special gift..and ill always treasure her..(although having a shower alone would be nice some times too. jk) | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/16/2007 1:58:59 PM | | I'm a single mom of one and have not had much help at all in 6 years from the father , he helps when its convient for him. so have learned that I will not depend on him , if he gives some money to help then he does if not all well, money is tight but work with what I have . And in ways it's better so he his not part of my childs life as much . | |
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speen
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Joined: 1/9/2007
Msg: 247 | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 2/10/2007 2:47:25 PM | It is a challange being a single parent, yet it just has to be done, as long as the kid's know that they are loved, and wanted, from at least one parent, then that's all good.
Sometimes having no help from the other is a blessing, aye?
Just got got to do your best | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 2/10/2007 3:58:18 PM | I am a full time parent of a 13 year old girl. Her mother has not contacted her since she left and although she is required by the Child Support Agency, to pay a minimal ammount towards the support of our daghter, has not offered any assistance. Whether or not I would accept assistance financialy is not the point. It's the fact that she has not offered.
My daughter has visited her mother twice since she left, one visit being a sleepover. When her mother told her that she missed having her around, my daughter's response was, "Right mum, that's why you ignore me when I'm here and never phone me to see how I am".
Now when I suggest that she visit her mum, she flatly refuses. Her mother denigrates me, to her face, criticizes her hair, clothes, friends and refuses every attempt to contact on messenger. The child is angry with her mother because she left us. She left a non violent, drug and alchohol free home because, as she put it, she was bored. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 2/10/2007 5:38:44 PM | | i have a severe autistic child and a daughter.....no family here at all....there dad takes them once a week.......but i wouldnt have it any other way....there awesome creatures.......but everyone deserves to be them to... | |
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