| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 4/9/2007 10:06:09 AM | | my daughter is almost 4, not only does her dad not help with her,he actually walks straight past her as we live in the same town,and unavoidable. All she ever says if someone is talking about there dad , is .. " i dont have a dad but i dont need one" i try to tell her she does have a dad but u just dont see him, but she just walks off, and i can see she does get hurt by it. Some parents just dont deserve children! | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 4/9/2007 1:32:25 PM | | I am a single parent with no help from my baby's daddy. Basically he said he didnt want anything to do with my son. and actually i am a little relieved about it. Because i dont have the hassle of having a man in the way of any possible future relationships. Though from time to time it does get lonely. But i hope in lue of a dad who isnt interested i can find friends who are loyal. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 4/9/2007 3:05:12 PM | It is sad that we have an entire generation of children missing a parent. We can't help this because as the saying goes, "you an bring a horse to water, but you can't make it drink". I consider myself to be very lucky. I raised my 22 year old by myself with no involvement at all from his Dad. He wanted nothing to do with him, threw a few dollars at us in the beginning, but then went away. Now that I have a 7 year old with my ex, I've had perfect opportunity to decide if being single from the start is better than when they turn 4.
Drum roll please.... For me, and my selfish need to be organized and on top of my game, being single from the start was much easier. I had no one interferring with how I raised him. No one second guessed me and no one ever took him for me. We were all alone. For him, this was hard. He has no desire to know his father because he's never really known him. Part of me still wonders could I have done things different to make him a more self-assured young man in today's world. And now, with my 7 year old, I have full legal and physical custody and get support payments automatically deposited in my bank account and every other weekend from Thursday to Monday absolutely free. I'm a wee bit older, so I look at everything different. I've worked really hard to have a communicative and friendly divorce and I have achieved this. We don't fight and are able to both be involved in the raising of my 7 year old. Is it better than being single from the start? Yes. I have support and back up if I ever just need a break. I'm a much happier mommy. You learn to be strong in whatever situation we are forced in- us truly single parents, have strength that our kids count on. | |
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Joined: 4/2/2007
Msg: 330 | |
| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 4/9/2007 6:32:03 PM | | Common enough. I have been on my own with my kids for 11 years now, no help what so ever. I get the occasional break from my family with them being there for the night but that is once a year. It definatly can be an issue while dating as you are so carful about introducing until you know its solid and at the same time the cost of a sitter many forget when its dating time. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 4/10/2007 12:36:46 AM | | I am also a single father. I have been divorced now for almost 6 years. And I have had permanent custody since she walked out on us to be with another man. I moved away from her family, my family, and from her knowing where I am. I did that because of the threat by her parents that they would file adoption papers to take my kids away from me since they felt I was unable to care for them properly. Am I a bad guy for that? I do not think so. I have been working hard since she left and I will not stop because they are more important to me then anything else in this world. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 4/10/2007 2:52:36 AM | I am a single mother to a 2 year old girl and her dad has never seen her. When I told him that I was pregnant, he came over and begged me, for 2 hours, to have an abortion and I haven't seen him since. I sent him contact information and everything so he could never say I kept her from him or anything but it's his loss, not hers.
I think that's great that you have your kids and it's too bad about their mother, I'm sorry. A mother should instinctively want to be with and comfort her children after 9 months of bonding but it's great to see a man step up to the plate and take care of business. You are a real man and I'm sure your boys appreciate you always being there with them.
Take care!  | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 4/10/2007 4:05:24 PM | im 27 and have a son of 12 who's dad see's him every friday till sunday i get nothing but greif from his girlfrind about anything and everything! i also have a 6 year old daughter who's dad denied ever sleeping with me!!! which is great because she doesnt have 2 people telling her that mummy this or daddy that!!! altho in past 8 months he has been payin mantaince for her!! (but we still didnt have sex!!) i did start seein a man who i never let meet my kids thank christ because after 6 months i found out i woz pregnant i did the test while he was asleep i knew he wouldnt stick around. as soon as i told him he was up and gone!!! most people have asked why bring a baby into the world alone?? i believe its not the babies fault if one parent doesnt want to know! im now 5 months pregnant and lookin forward to the birth. my ex has told me to leave him alone if thats what he wants then so be it, after all men know best!! to all you single parents out there, the best thing i ever did was have my childeren and i know thats how you all feel to so up urs to all the parents who dont give a damn about their children because we know how lucky we are!!! | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 4/10/2007 10:54:07 PM | | My 19 mo old daughter's father doesn't know about her. I found out he was married with other kids and dumped him before I found out about her. I thought it best to leave it that way. It may come back to haunt me someday, but for now she is all mine. I am in school to make a good life for her. I can do it on my own. I have all of you for support. Keep up the good fight, single parents!! Too bad so sad for the ones who are missing everything! | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 4/11/2007 2:37:50 AM | You are right..It most definitely WILL bite you in the ***. Someday your child will want to know her father, and as a good mother you will tell the truth. Therefore, at that point, you MUST inform the father...The father and the child most likely will be reasonably upset with you. They are both missing out on moments that can never be replaced. It would be different if you told the father, and he wanted nothing to do with her. Then it would be HIS fault, not yours. Hey, I understand it will add alot of drama to your life, but please consider the consequences of not telling the truth. The longer you wait..the bigger the consequences. Not trying to bring you down, really! Some people may even consider what you are doing as honorable. However, who cares what we think...It's your child you must think of. I hope you do not wait so long, that you won't be able to find her father..Because, I truly believe some day you WILL be looking for him.
Best of luck to you...And here's hoping we all make wiser decisions!!! | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 4/11/2007 2:39:39 AM | i had my daughter at 17 and ive have done it by myself since day 1, he has little to no interest in her and to be perfectly honest i wouldnt have it any other way
least you avoid the arguments over how to discipline them which school etc :) | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 4/11/2007 5:11:51 AM | | Well i am a single of mom of three gurls 10,7,6 my oldest one father was spamodic in her life when she was 8 i asked him to help out and help me deal with his daughter . well we had a reasonable relationship til that point but once he got her he started laying down all these ultimatiums for me to abide by and when she was 8.5 my dughter decided she wnted to come back to live with me that when i had to file a court actionin the courts to get her back and well I soon discovered if you could lie well and be good at it the court system was made for you . i am still fighting two years later to get my daughter home. Some people might sya why did i let her go well it was for the sake of my child she wasnt happy at school and wanted her dad well i made it happen and it the biggest regret of my life to get her dad involved now my daughter ha s wanted to come home for two years and her father has turned around and told her at any cost he will lie cheat and swindle to keep her . So the fight goes on to let my daughter have her say . and it will teach me never to trust a ex even when you thought he was the best one out of the ex my younger two kids dad has never been in ther lives since i have left him and for all the bad about him he has let me do my own thing with my younger two daughters which i am verythank ful for . Well even withthe court systems in place there is always a loop hole out for them . I had a child represenatative involved in t he last mediation and the outcome was that my daughter wanted to come back to live with me and he still has her so much for what is best for my daughter . I have only another year to wait out and then my daughter will have her say in a court room and we could have avoided that but her father chose the hard way. Anyways i jst enjoy the time i have with my daughter and thats the main thing . | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 4/11/2007 11:17:25 AM | | I have 3 kids and no help wat so eva ,theres just me and them and thats it , there twonk ov a dad lives 6/7 mins away n couldnt give a toss ... as long as my kids no i love them n is ere for them forever thats wat counts ... | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 4/11/2007 12:33:22 PM | to missyg -
I have not made a blanket decision to never tell him. Also, if/when my daughter wants info, I will tell her the truth. I am not a liar, nor will I keep my daughter from him if that is what she wants. The only decision I have made definite, is I am not making any moves until I am financially stable on my own. I was told I couldn't have children at a very young age. I was 37 when she was born. She is my miracle and I can't take the chance of ever losing her. He has a family and I have no interest in messing with those kids either. None of this is their fault... He might be mad in the end, but imagine how I felt when I found out he was married with a family!!!! He gave up his rights when he lied... | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 4/11/2007 7:13:53 PM | I shook Daddy-man's hand just the other day on being the man who prolly pays the least child support a month. Averaging about ten bucks... lol.
What can you do? Goes a long way YOUNG LADIES to saying all those things that your mom spouted off. lol.
Ahh so yes alone for the most part, and his presence is hit n miss but welcome. In our case, a boy needs a father after all. And he is it, is he not?
Not a bad guy, just....hindsight is 20/20.
I am lucky enough to afford us a good life. Not extravagant but decent and comfy, and I work hard for it everyday in everyway. But yes, it certainly taught me about swallowing pride. And how I'd give it all up for love, of my child.
I have always been fiercely independant. But it's easy to learn to let go of that...when it's someone else's quality of life and simple needs on the line. And times can be hard, but meh...that is life. No one EVER said raising little people was easy. If so, we'd live in utopia...mmmm. And that is a pipe dream.  | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 4/11/2007 8:27:12 PM | Wow, until I read this thread, I thought I was the only one.
As I've always said, not all single parents are equal. Remember there are single parents, and then there are solo parents.
My two are in high school and I have raised my them all by myself since they were babies--without child support, without the breaks offered by visitation, and without the help of family who lives far away.
I can't say it's been easy, but the hardships have brought us closer together. I don't think a day goes by that I don't get a hug from both of them.
The hardest part has been financial--trying to "make do" for 3 people on one person's income. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 4/12/2007 2:10:43 AM | | im 20 an found out my little boys daddy was married with a kid when i found out i told him not heard a word since wont lie to my little boy i will tell him who is dad is when and if he asks but i doubt he will | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 4/12/2007 2:23:33 AM | | My daughter's father abandoned her when we divorced. Rose-Maree was only 18 months. I was nice about the divorced. Was quite happy to allow him to have her every weekend. She hasn't seen nor heard from him in years. Rose is 13 now. She still hopes to see her dad or hear from him. I can do no more than be there for her when she suffers another disappointment. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 4/12/2007 2:33:41 AM | | screaming vixen--I am sure there are countless children in your daughter's situation..it saddens me. I feel for her. It should make her a stronger person, but she may never get over it. There are SO many deadbeat parents (not just dads) out there! I guess there are many reasons for this, but really there is NO excuse acceptable. None of us would allow anything to prevent us from seeing our children. This makes it difficult to rationalize why there are so many deadbeats out there! Uncomprehendable, right? My nieces parents are simply drug addicts...another unexceptable excuse. In the end, we are the ones who are blessed, and someday when the others are old and alone, they will regret their actions. We and our children will thrive! | |
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