| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 6/8/2007 10:01:09 PM | I have been raising my to girls for 14 years by myself,and I am very proud of the job I have done.I have not recieved any type of child surport from the kids mother,but I did try.every time I took her to court she would loss her job and go on welfare.In doing that the courts told her she didn't have to pay any child surport.
My ex very rarely sees her kids or talks to them on the phone.I know how much this has hurt my kids in the past,but know I know they are use to her never being around.But I know it still hurts them.
I have raised two beautiful young ladies,and even my youngest is now 15 shes still daddy little girl.personally I wouldn't change a thing for my sake,because I know my kids have been raised good,with good morals.
With my ex being the person she is,god know how they might of turned out if she was around.
but hey all the power to you. I know it's hard at time for all perants raising there kids,male or female.but keep up the good work,it does pay off in the end.I know,I'm living it...............:)  | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 6/8/2007 11:17:19 PM | My ex fought to NOT pay child support, wanted me to pay half the insurance ( I couldn't work because our child was critically ill) and wanted lots of rights. He also didn't want to pay his share of our son's medical bills - that's what his child support was for - I was supposed to pay his share out of it. Oh, and I got 200.00 a month.
right!
Thank God, we had a judge who saw through that. When Spawn was 3 and a half, my ex's rights were revoked - VERY unusual especially in the state of Georgia. In doing so, I gave up child support, insurance, the whole kit and kaboodle.
It was hard, really hard. I worked 3 jobs paying off my and his share of the medical bills, which ran into the thousands (Our son had open heart surgery at 13 months) and then returned to school. I think Spawn attended at least one class of every class I took those years. Only one professor complained and I think I tore him a new a$$hole for it. Spawn wasn't bothering anyone - just sat in front of an unused computer and played games and was very quiet.
My family was very supportive - my dad and both brothers stepped in, so he didn't miss out on male role models. He didn't ask about him until he was 10 and he refused to ask me - he asked my mom - said he didn't want to upset me - which freaked me out, becuase I've never talked bad about his father.
he's 19 now and says he wants nothing to do with that side of his family. they weren't there for us when we needed anything, so it's their loss. And it is THEIR loss. Spawn is a wonderful young man and I couldn't be prouder.
Zee
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 6/10/2007 2:08:18 AM | I have three daughters, 13,10, and 9. I have had them alone since they were 4,2 and 8 months. He has helped out now and then, but not much at all for the last 2 years. He owes me $35K. AZ says he hasto be 12 monthes behind to help me....argh.
Lisa | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 6/11/2007 3:52:28 AM | | i have a little boy whos now four . i split with his father who is a much older man than me when he was one and ive had no help at all from him . a week after we split he got another lass pregnant and now has 2 more children . ive tried 2 get him 2 help but he dont even see my little boy . when hes older he will realise wat his father is like and that he didnt want owt 2 do wit him and wat a waste of space his father is . | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 6/11/2007 12:11:33 PM | | I have three kids ages11-8-6 their mother lives in the U.S and I have sole custody but no support I keep hearing about deadbeat dads but you never here about deadbeat moms.No presents or cards the odd telephone call once in awhile thank god I listened to my Mother and got a trade in whice I make a nice living for us all. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 6/11/2007 12:36:26 PM | | I am a father with two teens, and I recieve no help from my ex, even though she thinks she deserves and has all rights as a paying parent. She has gotten out of paying support because she is on SSI, even though I do knowa man that is on this and they are deducting money from his. When I tried to see if I could get something, anything to help...the SS department told methere is nothing I can do considering. I guess what angers me is that she is living with a guy that has a small business and she spends nothing to survive, but yet won't offer to help her own kids with the exception of school lunches and an occassional set of clothes.. I hear from the kids that her b-friend is the one that actually buys these things. She found out that I have a fiancee and since then, she totally cut off everything from the kids, saying "Your dad can do this from now on"...lol. I will, but had to laugh at such stupidity. Oh well~ | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 6/11/2007 1:10:43 PM | I have 5 kids under the age of 4,(2 sets of twins) and thier dad and I seperated in November, he just moved to BC and left his kids behind. Since our seperation I've been supporting them alone. So yeah, it's very common to have not known that you were with someone who had no grip on parenting. It's not always a good situation, but as long as you have you're kids with you, to watch and experience those precious milestones and moments, and to have the love of a child or children surrounding your life... really, isnt that all that matters?
S. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 6/11/2007 2:56:14 PM | I have 2 sons and 2 daughters. I have raised them without any family contact. My parents died when I was very young.
Yes it has been hard work, but they are worth every single minute of it. Boys are still pretty young, but both my daughters have Graduated for Uni one with a batchelor's degree, the other with a Masters. So yes I am proud to be their mother, here is hoping the boys achieve their full potential, whatever that may be | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 6/11/2007 3:38:14 PM | My son is 19 next month, my daughter is 15. Both dads left while I was still pregnant. I hold no regrets, and neither do they. You can't force someone to be with, support $$, and love their child. My kids were raised without many of the games (on purpose or not) that I've seen so many have to go through. I've sat through custody hearings of others and shook my head!
I taught them respect, independance, and always told them it was not their fault. I never talked down about their dads, just told them it was a choice made by them, and they were the ones loosing out on getting to know some pretty great kids!
No baggage here, and I count it a blessing! | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 6/11/2007 4:32:39 PM | | i am a single father with 2 kids,almost 4 and 5 1/2.i work full time with little help.my x lives far away and never sees them.i am going for custody but taking forever.i love my life and would not change it for anything.kids are happy so i am happy. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 6/11/2007 10:33:11 PM | | Hey--you are not the only one--I have 3 kids--ages 8 and 14(yes,twins)and their mom hasn't been around in 6 1/2 yrs---maybe once a year,on average---I also do not get any support;for that matter I/they don't even get a damn phone call -I have to admit that I wouldn't mind some financial help sometimes,but as for parental support-I don't think she would know the first thing to do/say--I perfer it that way actually......tks | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/20/2007 10:24:59 AM | | I'm sorry to hear about all the troubles experienced on this thread, but I know just about every one of you wouldn't trade the memories for anything, and most of those divorced feel much better off with out the deadbeat spouse. Those widowed are in a totally different boat, hopefully you had some life insurance to help. I wish I could help each and every one of you. I myself would not wish to be a single parent even though I know I would cope much like all of you have, I also know I would give up almost anything to be considered a dad. That's what life is all about. Jon | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/20/2007 10:54:11 AM | | I have my son with no help from the father. He hasn't been involved since he was an infant, and I'd just as soon keep it that way. He's not welcome in my life or my little boy's life. I don't want child support and I don't want him involved. | |
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| How many single parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/22/2007 11:00:33 AM | I'm a full time single dad , (for the past5 yrs of a boy & girl). I don't get help. It took 4 trips to court to get her to pay support, just to see her quit her job & work under the table ( she said... I got the kids deal with it!) today the kids don't want to go for visits...hmmm wonder why) kids have eyes & can figure things out on their own. | |
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| How many single parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/22/2007 8:17:26 PM | | i adopted my children as single mom and i know exactly what you mean. people think that being a single parent means only being free two weekends a month and waiting for the support check. recently on pof, i have encountered many parents that are truly single. it seems it becoming more and more prevalant. best wishes to you in the honor of being everything to your children | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/22/2007 8:17:47 PM | | I have a son who is now 14 and a daughter who is now 16. I was the sole nurturer since the begining and mom was removed in '97 for being physically abusive to them. They are happy, safe and prteey well adjusted. I have been a PTA dad, socer coach, and scout leader , they know I will sew what they need but also will try to teach them the skills so they can become self reliant adults and know I will always be there for them. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/22/2007 8:23:10 PM | | I think its very common relly, which is sad because it takes two people to make these kids. I had my daughter when I was 17 years old, at the same time a friend of mine (10 days diff. in our age) had a baby as well, a boy, 2 months after he was born she split and basically never looked back. She had a long term relationship, family help and no financial worries. Where as myself I had no help, i went through my pregnancy alone, the birth (c-section) and the recovery alone, and now my daughter is 18 months old. I have done it by myself never regretting it for one second. I find myself wondering at times how this "friend" of mine could walk away from her son with absolutly no regrets and have the help she did. I just wanna say to you single parents, Good Job!! You deserve some recognition, it's not easy and it never will be. But the kid/kids are the greatest gift in life. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/23/2007 2:15:31 AM | i have been a single dad of 3, since 2000... nothing from the ex. it is tough when you deal with selfish, abusive people... but in the end, just look out for your kids, and keep things as happy for them as possible.. you will feel better inside yourself for it.
what goes around, comes around, and it doesn't have to be from you to your ex.. life is funny that way.. better to move on, and enjoy what it is you have.. it costs nothing, and brings you joy...the children. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/23/2007 3:25:59 AM | I am in a similar situation,been a single mum of 3 gals for nearly four years,i get no help from anybody not even my parents,and i am doing a Diploma in Professional Interior Design,
IMO i think it comes down to how organized you are as a person and how your daily life being a single parent with kids is organized to how negative or positive you want to look at your own personal situation.
its noway easy and for a single dad i believe its even harder. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/23/2007 7:54:27 AM | Single parent since 1997. My ex died in 2001. In 2006 I got some funds. He never had contact with my son. I never really felt that I was on my own. My mom was always there until she passed. My neighbors are like family and very supportive of me. I do not date, drink or do drugs. We are now entering a new phase and are open to find a man who would be a match for us.And us for him. The hardest part is raising a boy without a man in the house. And doing everything by yourself. But I now know how to install a new toilet.We homeschool so that makes things easier. We live frugally. Laugh often. Let a lot of things wait. One thing we found that is really helpful is a website called flylady.com . It has really helped us set our priorities.
In one form or another there are alot of single parents out there. In one way it is easier,in another more difficult. This forum is nice because it let single parents connect. I find a lot of single parents in homeschooling. Most importantly love your kids and realize what a gift they are. And get involved with their journey. You will learn something.
I just bought my son THE DANGEROUS BOOK FOR BOYS. I highly recommend it. Do not judge a book by its cover. | |
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