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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 8/3/2007 11:23:41 PM | | I'm a single mother of one with another on the way. Both my children have different fathers, I know pretty stupid. The father of my first one hasn't even tried to see his daughter or tried to even help me out and it's been just over a year. In a way I'm kind of happy because he took advantage of me and accused me of lying about being pregnant along with a bunch of other stupid things but in another way i wish he would help out because it's his daughter but if he doesn't want to see her it's not my problem he's just missing out. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 8/4/2007 6:46:13 AM | | I'm a single mom to three.. and nope, no help. Never a dime in child support, and only a few visits over the course of nearly five years. We are better off that way, to tell you the truth. Any man or woman who would voluntarily not see their kids for ANY length of time is a POS in my book! | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 8/4/2007 7:55:25 AM | Message in a Bottle, my sistah!! I hear you loud and clear.
My SD was a relationship, but it was one I knew had no future, so I wasn't suprised at all when he cut and run. I've told him all along I will never deny access to his daughter. I have NO time or energy to waste on bitterness or anger toward him -- he was not ready to become a parent, and that's sad, but my daughter will not know that, and he will never "get" that part of it. He's seen her twice in her four months on this planet, the second time by chance when we saw each other in public. His mother, however, is thrilled to have a granddaughter to dote on, and fully understands, like me, that it's his loss.
I will be filing for c/s, but only because the state requires that I do so in order to receive financial assistance for childcare while I complete my degree (which I was in the process of doing when I became pg, for all you yahoos who think all single moms are career students) I have been advised by an attorney that if I'm awarded c/s it will likely be a small amt (arount $110/mo) due to the fact that he's already paying c/s for his two children w/his ex-wife. I will never count on seeing a dime from him, nor do I need it. I'll manage.
and like MIAB, I'm not here looking for a 'daddy'. If I happen across someone here who might be a good partner for ME, then I'll pursue it. He will have to understand though, that my daughter is a part of me, and one that deserves to be cherished as much if not moreso than the rest of me. Money doesn't even enter the equation. | |
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| How many single parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 8/4/2007 1:32:42 PM | Single parent here........ One girl.
I have heard of support. That's where your former S/O gives you money to support their child, right? 
Even with the custody / access agreement, I have never seen a consistent payment regimen. Last payment was four or five years ago. Haven't missed it either....... | |
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| How many single parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 8/4/2007 2:55:36 PM | I have four teenagers, been raising them for 12 years on my own with no help at all. No financial help nor emotional support from the other parent. Once every few years he calls to see if we are ok - thats about it and he lives 3 provinces away. I could say at first when they were younger it was tough, was working and going to school - but things have evened out now, I have great kids and I can say I'm happy. Never was one to be hung up on the past, hold no grudges against my ex, I mean he helped create them, without him - I wouldnt have this life. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 8/5/2007 10:01:14 AM | | To message #25-i don't think people here are having a pity party. It is difficult and can be very isolating to raise kids alonc.My family lives 3000 miles away. My kids see their dad occasionally, but not as much as before he married the wicked witch of Indiana..lol. (Too bad shes not just a witch-shes friggen crazy..) Some days i think i cant' do it one more minute.Just hang on- tomorrow or antoher day your kids will do something sweet for you, or say "i love you", and you will know you are doing the right thing hanging in there. My daughter (9) put a pic of me in a frame by her bed...how cute is that??? Money can't buy things like that ,can it? | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 8/5/2007 3:58:33 PM | | It's more common than you think. My daughter is almost 4 and her father never wanted her. He hit the door running as soon as he found out I was pregnant. What's worse? I haven't lived near any family or close friends all this time. So not only have I struggled financially, but also with no emotional support system. It has really made dating take a back seat for most of this time. But, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Because of all this, I am an amazingly strong woman and I know my daughter will turn out to be one too! | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 8/5/2007 6:53:12 PM | | I am a single mom and i have a daughter that is almost 5 and her dad is not around he doesnt help out and ,He told me to get rid of her when he found out i was pregnant I told him NO i guess it is not uncommon | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 8/5/2007 9:42:17 PM | | My ex husband took off when my two teenagers were babies. I have never had a support net. I can't say that it has been easy. Until Child Support Enforcement went after his drivers license he rarely paid anything. Now he thinks it should be lowered when he is 20k behind. He doesn't see them much and it is probably better that way. I don't think I have done so bad on my own. Both of them are actually pretty good kids (of course not counting the normal teenage PITA stuff LOL). They are both on the honor role and eligible for scholarships :). I must have done something right. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 8/5/2007 10:28:15 PM | | Im a new mother, all of 3 months have gone by and not even one phone call from my daughters father... and im hearing this is very common and im finding out its hard work, any one with advice pleaes contact me!! | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 8/6/2007 11:34:09 AM | | I'm yet to receive a dime from my ex and my litle one will be 2 in October. He argues that he's poor and dissabled, I let him spend time with her nonetheless. I just work harder. I never had a father-figure in my life...I'm not going to let his enability to give me money right now keep her from having a male figure to look up to. It may sound stupid...but sometimes we have to suffer in silence. Don't get me wrong, the paperwork has been filed and as soon as his mother kicks him out he'll have to get a job. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 8/6/2007 1:02:46 PM | To all the single moms 'n dads out there ~ kudos to you for being in your children's lives and being able to enjoy your blessings and have a responsible adult to help you raise your children. To all the single moms 'n dads raising children w/o help from the other parent (this is my situation)~ kudos to you for hanging in there and bearing all the burden on your own, but also knowing that you've been able to enjoy all the blessings as well. Children are a privilege, not a right; anyone can have a child, the true parent is the one who raises them and loves them unconditionally. Children don't come w/manuals, it's a long learning process, and one day you'll be able to look back with pride and know that you tried your very best and you hung in there till the end. One day your children will thank you, you may think they're ungrateful, but they truly do care!
Hang in there parents and keep up the good work!
Bella | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 8/7/2007 1:21:57 AM | | My childrens dad was an alcohlic and he passed 2 years ago, he thought more of his drinking then to pay child support , it seemed like a losing battle with him. I gave up and took care of my boys the best I could on my income . At the time he passed my older son was going to graduate a month later, his reaction was My Dad wont see me graduate , or go onto college, he wont see the man I will be come as he cried . My younger one 12 at the time showed the opposite he was so angry and still its hard to go to his grave site he cries he misses his Dad . But in the long run later on down the road I am hoping they know I have been there for them and have sacrificed alot to be the mother and father they needed for most of thier childhood and I will continue to do this because they are great kids and I wouldnt change a thing. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 8/7/2007 1:45:43 AM | | I am a single mother of a 3 yr old daughter. My daughter has recently been diagonosed with autism and PDD. She can't walk or talk. I have had no support from my daughter's father. He has called me only to tell me what a awful mother I was and that he was going to kidnap her. That is the one and only time I have heard from him. Filed child support papers but he jumps around so much that the state can't find him..That is ok it is his loss. My daughter is beautiful, happy and healthy. I wouldn't trade her or my learning experience with her for anything in the world. I want to say kudos to all the single parents out there who do it with no support from the ex or no support system of emotional support. I was lucky I guess. My father who did not want me to have my daughter has been a wonderful support to me. My mother on the other hand did not get to live long enough to see her grandchild. Believe me times are hard but in the end when you child smiles at you, giggles, or just gives you a hug you know it is all worth it and that you are blessed to be such a wonderful parent. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 8/7/2007 6:05:44 AM | Single mom here. No help. No goverment assistance. I pay for every litle thing myself. Including my college loans. I have very little family to help me. Only my mom cares enough to help me out. The SDs family used to call me to see how my son is doing but that stopped years ago. I have no complaints. I actually can't imagine doing this any other way. I think if I had to share him I wouldn't be able too. My son is a good kid. He just turned 8 so he is pressing the limits, but overall he is polite, nice, and he generally listens.
I'd love to have man to take up the little free time I have, but I can't stand it when they view me as instant family or get mad because I can't go out every night. A man will not meet my son until I am comfortable with it, and my son is first..always. Why is that such a hard thing to deal with??? | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 8/7/2007 11:12:40 AM | Trikersbaby: "may I ask the moms why they never went after the exes for support?? Too much trouble...better off without him>> or him in their life??"
Private attorneys are good at getting judgements but not at collecting money. Child Support Enforcement has more alternatives available for the collection of arrears like intercepting income refunds. My ex is supposed to pay thru CSE but you know the old adage: Can't get blood from a turnip... and the overgrown boy definitely is in a vegetative state. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 8/7/2007 11:23:08 AM | | I am a 26 year old single mother. I have done it all myself with no help. When my sons father was in the picture (for 7 years), he thought more of himself than of me and our son to help provide like he should. I built a house 2 years ago, so until my son starts school next year, I have found myself having 3 jobs to make sure that I provide for my son. I just love him that much!!!!!! September 18, 2007 is the day I take him to court for child support, by the way, he quit his job when he got the child support letter!!!!!!! | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 8/7/2007 3:30:57 PM | My daughter is ten and i have had full custody and responsibilty of her since she was one. We moved countries just after her 2nd birthday and i have had no moral or financial support from her father. We are going through a challenging time at the moment as she is pretty developed for her age but she can be just as loving too, we will get through it, i'm just not sure how may extra grey hairs i'll have  . | |
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