nat44
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Joined: 6/19/2006
Msg: 26 | |
| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/21/2006 9:25:59 AM | | hi i can tell u it sure isn't easy but u'll do it and the most important thing to remember is they'll always be your kids the rest of your life, when others come and go they'll still be there , my kids father wasn't no help either but we got through it, sometimes i'm not sure how, look at it this way its her lost and it will be in the end more of a loss, just consertrate on bringing them up and forget about her. good luck | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/21/2006 11:16:15 AM | well common as heck i think. I'm a single mom of a 4 1/2 yr old...her father owes me more than $17,000 child support, and hasn't seen her in 1 1/2 yrs....
truthfully yea its difficult, but in my case we're much better off without him around! and I'm going to court to keep it that way! | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/21/2006 2:20:19 PM | I have been a single parent for 2 and a half years now. (ok I have dated on and off but not that my kids know about). I dont think its a about who is worse off than who. What about how we should all be proud of who we are, that we are doing an amazing thing by bringing up kids without the men who helped create them? Or is that just daft. Yeah ok, there are rubbish times when we wish to god we werent on our own, but them us, as single mums (and dads) are the centre of our kids world. When they wake up in the morning, they dont shout for someone else. When they come home from school, its us they wanna show their work to, proud as punch.
I would love my kids dads (yeah different one each, the two of them) would have more to do with them. My daughter at 4 knows perfectly well that she has a daddy that 'loves her very much' (not that she remembers him from when he walked out) and knows her brother has a different dad. But I am so lucky to have my two beautiful kids all to myself, not to have to share them (its ok, they do see people!) or fight for their attention. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/22/2006 7:38:51 AM | For Diggy03:
It has nothing to do with a pity party or who's situation is worse. The OP stated it in their question quite simply 'who has their kid(s) with no help'.
As is human nature, when one is on their own with another life to look after and it feels like you are alone people do what they can to reach out to others so they don't feel so alone.
People sharing their details is just that, sharing details. In a supportive stance, how I view it is, doesn't matter how crappy or good it may seem, every time you feel like you are on your own there are X number of people out there feeling the exact same thing.
If you would rather not discuss your situation, then don't.. but why feel compelled to tell 'that' to "the world"?
In no way intending to sound facetious, I'm sure a lot of people will concur it's wonderful that you are able to find solace from within and not feel the need to seek support but why come down on those that do? | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/22/2006 9:19:29 AM | before coming to this site, I was really oblivious to how many single FATHER'S there are, especially those who do not get any help from the mother, financial or otherwise.
I grew up knowing that most Mothers would eventually become single mothers because back home it's rare to find a couple that stays together long enough for the kids to leave the nest (but that's a different topic)
I think it's absolutely awesome that there are soooo many loving fathers and equally loving mothers that decide to take care of their children with or without the help of the other parent. It heals a lot of my wounds to know that there are FATHERS that love their children as much if not more than MOTHERS...
I get no help from the ex, but I think it's a blessing in disguise because it gives him no rights whatsoever to intervene in my son's life. and I get to have this wonderful little boy alllll to myself. | |
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| How many single parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/22/2006 4:06:21 PM | I have a 16 year old boy that I've raised by myself since Day 1. Sure, I've had the support of my family, but no help at all from the sperm donor.
I walked out of that relationship when I was 7 months pregnant. I had enough of the abuse, the drugs, the drinking, the partying, the bringing other girls home because he refused to touch me because I was pregnant.. the jerk even held a loaded gun to my head once. He couldn't handle money at all and I can't tell you how many times I'd write the rent check, turn it over to the rent office, and he'd drive to the ATM to withdraw $500 saying "They've had the check - they didn't cash it, their loss." This was usually 15 minutes after I turned the check over.
When my son was born, his mother gave me a ration of crap because of the name I picked out. Of course the father was nowhere in sight. He wanted the name Dawaine. Well, I figured since he wasn't there, we never even got married and all he did was beat the crap out of me, he didn't deserve that. I didn't name my son Dawaine.
I gave my son my last name and he's the best kid on earth. His father is not in the picture. We haven't seen him in almost 14 years. I never got a dime of child support. We're better off this way. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/23/2006 7:42:07 AM | I am in no way shape or form wanting anyone to feel sorry for me, or to be negative. I was just seeing if maybe some single parents could come together as some sort of support group. I am very happy being a single parent, although I wish it was different, I wouldn't change it for the world. My two sons are every thing to me and I enjoy every minute of every day that I have with them. I am not wanting to bash their mother or anyone else by any means, I just wanted to see how many more there were like me. Sometimes being a single parent you just want to know your not alone. Thank you all for your comments. JAMES | |
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Titian
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Joined: 6/23/2006
Msg: 38 | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/23/2006 10:09:23 AM |
In the end.. it doesn't matter.
So why did you post? You could say in the end it doesn't matter about EVERYTHING.
I'm sure there are a number of reasons why folks posted and I think it's demeaning to everybody who posted to brush their feelings aside with calling it a pity party.
That being said, I have no help here whatsoever. I do get some child support, 120$ but I paid out 380$ per month for 8 years for the same kids.
Shalom,
Robert | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/23/2006 11:07:18 AM | | I am a single parent of a 7 yr old little boy who has CP (cerebral palsy) his dad was great...for the first six months or so....then he was gone...too much for him to deal with...so yeah...I do it alone....I had family help for a while...but everyone wants to 'cure' him....it's too much for everyone...even just to watch him for an evening, day, vacation? right.....the older he gets....the less acceptable his disability is...the less 'cute' it is to the rest of the world..so we're out there...family help and friends are the best thing to have...but your friends have to know that your kids come first...until the last couple years, I had no idea how many friends i thought i had....aren't really friends...but in the end...there is nothing better you can give your kids than yourself! | |
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| How many single parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/23/2006 11:27:08 AM | | Kudos to you...being a single parent is hard. My daughter is 3 months old and her father split when I told him I was pregnant and I have NO idea where he is...so needless to say I dont have help, not even financially, but its his loss :) | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/29/2006 5:47:19 PM | I hate to say it but it is very common. I am a single dad who has full custody of my 2 sons ages 15 and 13 and I have raised them for the last 5 yrs by myself with no help from their mother. It seems when a lot of women get divorced they see this as an escape from all the duties they had as a wife, Im not putting all of the single mothers down because I know there are great mothers out there who would do anything for their children and I would have done anything for that woman if I had met her instead of my ex. But anyway hang in there and please just keep the faith and it will work out because your kids will benefiet from your love and devotion.
God bless | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/29/2006 6:20:36 PM | | I have 2 kids and been on my own with them for bout 7yrs now.....tis preferable than havin anythin to do with their sperm donor......the most draining part of it is always having to be "the baddie", the disciplinarian, day in and day out with no-one to take over for a while and let you kick back and simply enjoy the company of your kids without the weighty concerns of sole responsibility and authority......but then i guess in my case, it has always been like that. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/29/2006 9:21:45 PM | | Well, to tell you the sad truth it is very common. My last two children have been raised by me since birth. My x husband does occasionally see our daughter, but only when he has too, and is not financially responsible for her at all. My 8 yr old son's dad disappeared when i was pregnant with him, showed up when he was three months old, saw him once and then disappeared. My x husband does see my 10 yr old, however he causes a lot of damage when he does, because his girlfriend and him slam me all the time, criticise me for how we live...etc...and mostly it is because of finances...he has not paid a dime for her since she was born...I did not fight it because i did not want him to stop seeing her all together...however...things have changed...i realize the truth...a dad is not someone who only sees his kids when it is convenient, is not there for the sicknesses, or to help out with school stuff...etc...he is just a sperm donar who believes his gf is more important then his own kids...all i can say is wait until our dead beat co parents find out when they are old and grey and want to have contact with their grandchildren...they will get the cold sholder. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/30/2006 3:34:38 AM | | im a single mum of 2 sons ones 14 years old and the other has just turned 1 years old and my eldests dad is a low life who only thinks of himself and his new partner and her kids.ive no problem with him having a new life but he doesnt help in any way with his son and he only sees him when its convient for him,was with him for 13 years and he never did a thing to provide for his son and my 1 year olds dad up and left me when i was 3 months pregnant so hes never even meet his son or his son seen him. i think some men can be real cruel to us woman with there kids, but ive come out a stronger person for it and now im just putting my sons first now and my life on hold,some may think this is harsh but to me i think im better off this way.x | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/30/2006 10:55:25 AM | My son is almost 9 and his dad has never sent him even a birthday card, let alone a phone call to see how he is. I havent been on any form of government cheese, and been working my butt off to provide for him. I love him and would do anything to protect him, but now "the other side" of the family has been calling me. demanding to see him! I'm so frustrated because they havent called in over 2 years, and then they expect me to drive half way across the state so they can see him! Yeah right! Crazy ppl...... | |
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