| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 8/20/2007 6:47:33 AM | Ive been a single dad for the past 11 years from when my daughter was 3 to now 14 & have had no help from mother ever or sadly relatives (as i dont know them) & its just my daughter & me in this big immoral world :-( Ive learnt alot too & found the way to get my daughter right was to get myself right as she copies everythin I do. So that was all my friends out the window as i realised they were into things that I didnt want to expose my daughter to. I also found that sayin "Id rather you didnt do that" opposed to "NO or DONT" works really well coz it gave her the choice or I would say "I did that & this is what happened..." etc & yes im still single coz im so bloomin fussy :-)
Good luck to all you on here & dont give up coz my neighbour is 69 & his wife died & he has found a new partner so its never too late. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 8/20/2007 3:29:06 PM | | Having children sure changed my priorties. I find help in unexpected places. I have always taught my son to make good choices. I will tell him that is not a good choice if I know that he is making an error. It causes him to stop and think about what he is doing. There are a lot of bad people in the world. Harder yet is the people who do not know any better. We prefer to hang out with positive, good people. Works for us. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 8/20/2007 4:15:36 PM | | I have been raising my children entirely on my own. No one ever offered help and when I asked at church no one came forward to help. They were never in daycare, and I never had the help of family or friends. I found ways to make a dollar stretch far, I never went out , I sacrificed a lot of my time, I even home schooled them for 2 yrs, and I don't regret it one bit, as I see the bond we have. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 8/22/2007 8:51:48 AM | | I've got 3 girls and no help... I haven't met too many people around here that are single parents. If they are, they get fat ass child support checks and don't even have to work. So I don't know how common it is everywhere else but around here it's not common.. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 8/22/2007 9:10:58 AM | | i am a single mom i have been for a bout 4 years now my wonderful son is five it has been hard for me been a single mom i had my son well i was attending high school i graduaded of high school in 2003 then i have been to 3 different colleges to better my chefs training i love to cook but it is a very hard road i am 24 i have been though a lot my sons father has not supported matthew with a child support so i have been doing this all on my own you know thoese girls that drop out of school when they are pregant i feel bad for them because you can still go to school and be a parent it is hard but eh it can be done i run a young pregant group for those young pregants well that is about it have a great day | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 8/22/2007 10:27:25 AM | | I have 15 and 18 year old boys. Their father pays little or no child support, thus I work two jobs for financial stability. The boys spend maybe an hour a week with their Dad preferring to be with me. Their father is not an involved parent by choice. I have legal custody. With that said, the challenge of raising teenagers alone has been exhausting, rewarding, frustrating and euphoric. The most difficult part for me is a limited personal life. Being a single parent generally scares men away. Although I am human and yearn for romance in my life, now is the time I must focus on the boys. Without help, it is a 24/7 responsibility. I'm sure I'm singing a familiar tune here. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 8/22/2007 12:37:09 PM | | Well it is common for the other parent not to help. My boys are 4 1/2 and 3. They don't get phone calls- b-days, holidays, notta nothing. It's been like this for 3 yrs. now. It's sad for them, because they don't know who their father is, but it'll all come back to him. I'm a believer in karma...and it's going to bite his ass..( that is unless he get's caught for his child support warrent--wishful thinking--just want him to be without... | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 8/22/2007 3:29:44 PM | Hi, I am beginning to read threads and love to communicate.. The point of this thread is to express oneself... I think the point of this entire site is for people to express themselves..
I am personally amazed at the amount of parents who do miss out on such a treasure in life.. CHILDREN. Moms or Dads who miss the cute faces, little saying-noisessmells-touch, etc... children offer are priceless. The unconditional love you experience from your new child.. a human born between two people so magically...
Well I love being a mom... I have been a mom for 29 wonderful years..SINGLE and providing everything solo.. are there some rough days--You betcha..
I have three children from my body and seven more through my heart... Yep, I am a mom to ten wonderful beautiful children. I adopted seven individually non related to me and all very special. I find they provide me the smiles-laughter and love many people never experience... I applaud all single parents, especially those who chose it through special needs adoptions... it is a gift ..
To all you out there, pat yourselves on the back and know you are wonderful people...people who took your responsibility seriously. There a many children out there suffering because an adult chose not to... a career I saw too much in so I left to be a mom | |
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ur2di4
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Joined: 9/1/2007
Msg: 511 | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/8/2007 8:10:04 PM | Been supporting the kids as they got old enough to leave their mother and strike out on their own. While still obligated and paying support to their mother. Last of the family is with me now two years and still being supported to death by ex.
As both remaining children are in school and will be getting order varied may cost ex so she is contesting on every issue and will run up my legal costs. Would have appreciated if she could just acknowledge the children in some form. Misses them at Xmas to busy, school breaks always not good time. Grandson's birthdays never heard from.
Will not go into listing evils that have befallen me during this process. I chose to be there for the kids and basically caused what happened. Then again there are people who would show how I am personally responsible for all the issues.
Support from the ex, ha. If the kids chose not to follow her wishes she wants no part of them.
How about I did not know about child benefit or whatever that monthly cheque is called, ex got that plus child support payment for two years. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/8/2007 9:39:06 PM | I take care of my 6 and 9 year old girls. I do it solo. Sure some extra money would be nice, they could do or have more. We do very well though, it isn't as hard to me as some people make it sound. Maybe I just love it that much, or never considered any other way.
I have no family or real support system, I do have a couple of friends that help me out with an occasional night out. We are not rich, to be a strong family, we don't need to be.
My girls have the consitency they deserve, and that is the most important thing.
To any struggling single parents, keep your chin up, try to better yourself in some way everyday. Do sit ups, clean a room, buy yourself something inexpensive that makes you healthier, i.e., vitamins. Add something new to the regimen once a week. You will be suprised how you look and feel after a couple of months.
It is reflected in your home, and in your children. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/9/2007 8:47:09 AM | | I have raised my two boys basically on my own since day one. Although I was still married to their father at the time he wanted to"ease into it" whatever the heck that is. Now he sees them hmm maybe twice a year amd makes no effort to do more then that. As to child support I had to take him to court and get it directly taken out of his paycheck to get any kind of finacial help. As they have gotten older he has gotten a bit better about helping but not by much. Thankfully, I have a wonderful family that pitches in whenever it is needed. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/9/2007 11:56:08 AM | Well..I had twins 2 times...born 3 months early...daughter was fine, my son was on life support.....they told me not to get attached to Shawn because I won't be taking him home....a month passed and Cassie's nurse dropped her and she died. Shawn was in the hospital for 3 months until I could bring him home. He had mild CP and I took him to every therapy in the world. His father left when he was 8 months old..he never paid child support or alimony..I worked 2 to 3 part time jobs to live on my own with Shawn and not with my parents. He was on a breathing machine for 20 minutes every 4 hours until he was 5 yrs old... He is now a chef and handsome, intelligent and fun! Ten years later..The second set of twins//Tyler and Cory, identical boys were born. The doctor was intubating Cory and poked a hole in his lung and he bled to death. I almost died giving birth to the last set of twins and their father , ( that I asked please stay with me) left me alone and went out and sat with his mother, while I lay dying. And our twins...too. And he never gave or bought our son anything ever...wait I take that back when he took me to court 3 times to get full custody of Tyler he bought him anything he wanted...He had a lawyer and I didn't ..I was my own lawyer..and guess what..I talked to lawyers and went online and called the DA for help and I won all three times!! Then his father stopped buying him anything again...Tyler isn't stupid. He knows how his father was and is. He left almost5 years ago YEAH!!! And us three are very happy . It gets hard at times but I always come out on top! And I make sure my sons do also. Tyler has not seen his father for a few yrs...then he saw him...then he didn't know for 6 months maybe...I tell the boys nothing bad about their fathers...never will..I just say the turned to drink cause of your twins dying and left cause they couldn't handle it. BUT my family tells the the horrible stuff now that they are older...some people don't know what is best for a child....oh brother..so if they ask me things I tell them now...they feel I lied to them though...alls I can do is love them and be here for them. We have a good relationship....take care and good luck! | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/9/2007 1:53:54 PM | I do
Father passed away early and we had no life insurance, lost the house, etc.... I am sole guardian, mom, dad, breadwinner...etc... My mom does babysit once a week so I have a break.
At least I can b*tch at him without getting into an arguement.!
It's the way it is..I suck it up and try to look at the bright side. I get to make all the rules. I choose her education and other things...I don't have to have a strained relationship, co-custody and such. The hard part is financial... being only able to afford one sport a year and such. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/10/2008 6:39:14 PM | add me to the list.
I get no family help, and the dad is never consistent. On the odd occasion he does visit with the kids its always 'i dont know' when I try to arrange a time or ask when he is coming, and "I'm on the way" is the first I hear that he can do something. Like I can get something useful out of that??
If I try to arrange a time or say when the next visit is, I always get crap back and umms and ahhhs, and "out of towns" and "hang ups" and all sorts of crap even though he lives 3 miles down the road. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/10/2008 7:38:12 PM | | Hey campgurl, I too lost my daughter's father in a car crash, had to ID him at the morgue when I was 2 months pregnant. I have NO family support and sometimes find things difficult and feel sorry for myself then realize it's a waste of time. What is most important is my daughter's happiness and look who her Dad left behind, she is a miracle in more ways than one. Homeowner here too but we manage don't we. All the best. BTW, be very careful who u share your son with, had a bad experience with an instant Dad type which is not what I am looking for, very authoritative, explosive temper, none of this I saw of course until after he moved in. My daughter is my #1 priority and needless to say, instant Dad is out. All the best. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/10/2008 10:05:01 PM | | My son is 7 and even when me and his dad was together he never took time for him...we split up when out son was 3 years old and I have been caring for him since then without help from his dad...he tells him that he is going to do something and then doesn't and I have to deal with our son's disappointment...my son is at the age where he wants a man to be in his life to do things with...he is always asking me if he can do this sport or this sport take this or that but without help from his dad there is just no way and I have to constantly see his disapointment...I have tried to tell his dad that he is at the age to start seeing that he doesn't really seem to care for him...and it only got worse when he got a brother from his dad...his dad thinks that he can brush him off, never call, or come see him even though he only lives 1 1/2 away...he told our son he would be at his kindergarden grad. and didn't show up till almost the end of the after party, saying somehting came up, I had to see my son's smile slip off his face as he walked to the front after seeing that his dad didn't show...and even though I told his dad that he is loosing him and that he wants another dad one that will take time with him...he thinks that he can sit down with him when he is 14 or 18 and explain things to him...what ever that may be....and everything will be alright with them...he even talks about our son maybe wanting to move in with him when he is old enough to make the choice...but I don't see that happening...you can't expect him to just forget the person who has always been there for him no matter what...to go with a person who has never even showed they cared...all I have to say is that my son knows who loves him he is smart for his age...and his dad doesn't take that into account...he may have seen him a doz times in the last 4 yrs and maybe talked to him on the phone about that much. It's hard being the one to always have to see his disappointments...and no matter how much I may want to...contrary to what his dad thinks....I never talk bad about him around our son, our son does not need that...I am just going to let him find out on his own what type of man his father is...let him make up his own mind about his dad...and if his dad want's to see him after he makes up his mind and he doesn't want to see him...then I am not going to make him...since his dad could never be bothered when he did want to see, talk and spend time with him. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/11/2008 6:59:01 AM | | I am a single mom of two great kids,13 and 16.I have been doing it myself for six years.I just started getting child support a year ago.They see thier farther when he decides to call every few months or so to see them for an hr or two.No merry christmas or happy birthday.No hows school.You would never know by meeting my kids that it bothers them.They have good family support by my family and me.Its alot of hard work being a single parent,but it can be done and it's very rewarding.I love my kids and wouldnt change anything for the world. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/11/2008 10:08:02 AM |  hello! there are many of us out there. me for instance, i'm 22, recently divorced with a 6 and 1/2 month old son. my ex husband has recently decided that he doesnt want to be a father, and wants to have his rights terminated and his name taken off the birth certificate which is perfectly fine by me! he hasnt seen our son since he was 3 weeks old and hasnt checked on him since around the same time. i'll admit, it takes a strong person to do it alone, but it can be done. i'm sure youre doing a wonderful job! | |
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