| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/7/2008 8:48:47 AM | | I too am a single father.I have had custody of my son since he was released from the hospital.He is now 5 years old and the mother has not paid a penny.I prefer this way due to the fact if she pays then she has a right to see him.She has not been around and their is no need for her to come around now.You are better off that she is not paying so you do not have to deal with her.I do not want to come across the wrong way just mine would rather party and do drugs than have responsibility and I have the court papers of her under oath stating that, so if your along the same lines where the mother is a piece of shit do not sweat the money.As a single parent with no support you can get them on healthy kids for insurance twenty dollars a month, help with college and other stuff as well. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/7/2008 11:24:47 AM | I have two sons that I am raising alone.
My oldest son is 3 and his father has had nothing to do with us since day one. He has other children that he's been forced to pay child support for, so when I informed him about my pregnance he promptly became MIA.
My second son is 2 months old and although his father says he will help out financially that remains to be seen. During the entire 9 months that I was pregnant he paid the copay for one doctor's visit and since our son has been born he's given me $30 to get diapers, formula, bottles, etc. (You can imagine how far that went).
I have only asked him to pay for daycare so that I could return to work and so far that hasn't happened.
Who knows what will happen in the future? | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/7/2008 1:45:24 PM | | My X left us over 2 years ago for his "soulmate", moved 2+ hours away and occasionally sees our son but not our daughter. He says he deserves to be happy - whatever! I guess he thinks I deserve to raise OUR children on my own. We're better of without him but I didn't signup to raise kids alone but of course I"m happy to raise my kids. I just wish I had some help - oh well the payback is amazing as you know. Hang in there single parents!! | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/7/2008 1:52:46 PM | I am a single mom of a teenage daughter. She'll be turning 16 next month.
I too, have no help from her "father"- not to mention anyone, for that matter. Not even from family members and I have 8 brothers and sisters- I come from a big family myself. Nobody ever "helped" me with diapers, formula, birthdays and/or holidays- nothing from no one. Its been this way since the day she was born...and yes- trust me- I've had hard times but SHE is who got me through them. SHE is MY strength.
Luckily, for me- I am blessed to have such a happy & healthy daughter.... I give myself a ton of credit! She is my sunshine- she is my pride and joy. Thats all I have to say! | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/8/2008 8:11:48 AM | | Two boys and I've been doing it on my own going on 5 years now. There was a stretch there for almost a year where their mom was living on the streets and the kids didn't even have a way to call her......many nights with kids falling asleep crying in my arms. Now all of a sudden she decides to play mom again and complains when the kids don't want anything to do with her.......grrrrr........the only reason she is even doing this is the fact that shes been in front of the judge so many times for non-support that if she doesn't keep a job for the next 6 months she goes straight to jail. I've done everything I can to keep her in their lives but she just keeps making bad choices and messing her life up........guess the old saying about leading a horse to water but not making it drink is true. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/8/2008 8:28:06 AM | Thanks sweetness, it's not easy but I know I'm doing everything I can for them. Thank God I have full custody and no every other weekend kind of deal. If the kids want to see her they can but when they tell me they don't (which is most of the time) I don't have to make them go just because a judge said they have to.
My heart goes out to you as well  Having to deal with a parent that chooses not to be part of their children's lives is hard enough but having a wonderful parent ripped from their lives is another story completely.  | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/8/2008 8:58:42 AM | I CONMEND ANY ONE WHO RAISES THIER CHILDREN ALONE I WASA IN THE SAME SITUATION PICKED A REAL WINNER TO BAD HE WAS HOOKED ON DRUGS GOT PREGGY WITH MY SON AFTER HE WAS BORN HIS DAD HIT HIM AND ABUSED ME SO I LEFT THE TOWN THEN WHEN I CAME BACK HE CAME BACK AROUND PLEDGING HE WAS CHANGED AND WANTED TO BE A FAMILY AND LOW AND BEHOLD HE DID THE SAME THIGN I LEFT HIM AND THEN TWO MONTHS AFTER I LEFT HIM I FOUND OUT I WAS PREGGY FROM HIM AGAIN
WE TRIED TO WORK IT OUT AND IT JUST DIDNT WORK I WENT TO COURT HE DIDNT SHOW THE COURT GAVE ME THE OPTION TO EITHER GET CHLD SUPPORT AND HE HAD MINOR SUPURVISED VISITATION OR NO CHILD SUPPORT AND NO VISITATION I HAD TO DO WHAT WAS BEST AND SAFE FOR MY KIDS SO I CHOSE NO CHILD SUPPORT AND NO VISITATION. ITS VERY HARD DOING IT ALONE WITH TWO SPECIAL NEEDS CHILDREN BUT I THINK OF IT THIS WAY, I COULD RAISE MY KIDS HAPPY AND SMART OR HAVE LET THEM IN THIER LIFE AND POSSIBLY PUTTING THEIR LIVES IN DANGER. ID RATHER MEET SOMEOEN WHO WILL CARE FOR THEM AND ME THAN GO THROUGH THE PAIN. SO I SAY BRAVO TO ALL THE SINGLE PARENTS WHO DARE TO GO IT ALONE YOU ARE BRAVE AND WONDERFUL. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/8/2008 7:04:30 PM | My ex is not around. I don't bad mouth my ex in front of my daughter because it causes alot of damage in a childs life on its own with out adding to it. This is called "Parent Alienation Syndrome " It hurts the kids much more than most people realize. It is hard enough on my daugter and every child lacking both parents, as it is without adding more to their confusiion and pain. If you really love your children, then don't try to turn them against there lost or irresponcible mom or dad, they are smart and will figure it out on their own. If they ask then tell them that their mom or dad is going through a bad time and that they are loved. Ask them to keep their parent in their prayers.
The National Brotherhood of Fathers Rights will help both parents to do what is just and fair for everyone, mostly the children. They only help parents to be treated equally and to ensure whats best for the health of the children.
Good Luck. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/9/2008 8:00:51 PM | | i dont know how a parent wouldnt want to be in their kids life. my ex acts like he wants to help , but when he gets the opportunity to, he does the bare minimum. he gets to be more in the way than a help. id rather do it myself. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/13/2009 9:29:16 AM | | I did not get anything more than that main question about having kids with no help. i am about to turn 36, had my 1st when I was 18, and have 3 more since then. I have NEVER had any help of any kind from anyone, especially the DONORS or their families. They do not even have contact, because they are worthless, selfish and weak. I work, raise my kids and am getting my degree this year, and joining the police force next Feb. at the latest. I will be gone 9-12 weeks, and it will be my oldest daughter and best friend who takes care of my 3, 8 and 9 year old kids so I may go off and do this for them. i would not know how to imaging, if any of the DONORS actually gave a grain of effort in helping with their own children. I would not even know how to deal with that, as I have always been alone. Even when I was married, both time, the so called husbands did not contribute a damn thing to help anyone but themselves. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/13/2009 11:08:24 AM | I have beena single mother for 12 years. I have 3 kids, 2 girls ages 12 and 6 and a boy who is 2, and I have learned that there is no such thing as help. If I need something done or if my kids need something I have learned that doing myslef is the only way that it will be done.
 This is how I feel on most days. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/13/2009 11:59:24 AM | Whats interesting to m is the amount of fathers that have the kids now. Use to be rare to be exact it was 4% of the time when I got my kids. Now it is so very common anyone know why? Today it is 14% to make matters worse seems like I can't find a good life partner. I think that I've only gotton a response at an average of 1 a week. I'm not sure if it's that or I'm just ugly but either way. Probably just a bad picture but do women really avoid a single father?  | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/13/2009 7:54:54 PM | I have my kids 99% of the time and it is hard. I feel for you. It is rough when you don't get a break. I am a full time mom of 4- 11,7,6, &5. It is hard when I spend all day going to school (to make a better life for us hopefully), and then come home to do homework, their homework, school events, cook and clean as well as anything else we may need. I understand and if you need to just vent I am here.
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/15/2009 10:38:57 AM | | My daughter is 4 and I have not had any help financially or otherwise from her father since day one. I don't hold it against him. He is the one who has to live with it when she is old enough to understand. I provide for her the best that I can, and her father visits her once a year on her birthday (his choice) as lives in another country. C'est La vie. He writes me emails ever so often saying how badly he feels that he's not being a good father blah blah blah. I don't reply with anything other than "she happy and healthy and we wish you all the best". I'm not a mean or cold person, but I am not going to say something to him to make him feel better. He's not there when I'm up all night because she has a fever. I have waited at the hospital ER when she had a seizure, I sacrifice my lunch hour at work so I can pick her up from school and bring her to daycare. I do all this out of love and I never think to myself "oh poor me, I'm a single mom" -- motherhood is the best job in the world! | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/15/2009 11:27:08 AM | My boys are 6 and 9 and I have been on my own since my youngest was 3 months old(my choice to leave.) I did get support for the first year and a half I think but nothing since then. My ex did start out taking them Sunday afternoon's and that lasted for a bit but in the last year my boys have seen him 4 times!! I do not go after him for support or to see them more. That is what he has choosen and it will come back to haunt him later. I figure what goes around comes around. He does not work or show any interest in their lives so I figure they are better off without him. I have never denied the children from seeing him when he does call but he has no say in anything that they do which is nice.
We do great, I work fulltime, have my own house, car etc so we do just fine without him and I am so much happier. Things are much easier now that the boys are getting older so I have never regretted my decision to leave even once. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/16/2009 6:42:32 PM | | i have 4 girls and my oldiest girl her dad is in jail cause of his ex. And my 3 little ones their dad is in mexico[deported[ and he ddoesnt help me or try to come back to support his kids i do it all by myself. iam mommy and daddy sometime i feel like iam going crazy. It doesnt help that when a guy meet up he runs.Its to much for them.i dont get mad cause i understand it ,just wish it would stop. i dont want their money i want my kids dads 2 pay for what they helped me make 4 very pretty little girl | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/17/2009 11:02:25 AM | | It's hard sometimes, but we make it through. There is no choice but to survive, and I work damn hard to do that. Although that involves grim determination on my part, our house is a happy one with lots of love and laughter. On the rare occasion I allow a silent tear to be shed, it's on my time. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/17/2009 11:53:27 AM | | Me. I have an 11 year old son (turns 12 in March). His...well - "mom"...for lack of better terms...lives about an hour away. He goes to her house every other weekend. She picks him up around 6:30 Friday and returns him around the same time Sunday. So, it's a total of 4 days out of the month. So, he's with me full time. In his best interest, I don't go out much. He's at the age where he needs a lot of parental time (yes - there's a story in it). So, while it really impacts my ability to get out and meet someone, he does get a lot of time with me - which I think is more important than me being out. So, for now I stay focused on him. But, it is hard. Just something I have to accept and move on with. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/26/2009 6:54:35 PM | I'm a single father, and my ex has paid, ohh, maybe $300 altogether (actual cash) in the last 7 years or so. Now, to be fair, about 2 years ago we kind of fell into an agreement with each other that actually has worked out rather well for me. My son was a newly minted teenager, and had suddenly discovered the hip stores at the mall - and all their tawdry wares... A&F, Hollister, Aeropostal, etc.
Me being not insane, I refused to buy my then-12/13 year old a $65 t-shirt or $115 pair of jeans he would fit for 6 months (possibly less). His mother on the other hand showed up one weekend with *bags* of said tawdry wares, all of which she had spent about $25 for.
Turns out, I had forgotten, she is kind of an idiot-savant at bargain hunting/re-sale shops. Now please don't misunderstand, she is NOT an idiot and I am not implying she is at all, she's a very nice person all in all. Anyway, she has been able to find him $80 shirts - with the tags still on them - for $3 at some secondhand store. After the second or third time she managed this, I jokingly said "hey, if you can keep him supplied in all these clothes he wants, I'll consider that your child support". Turns out she has done just that, and I've been pretty darn happy about it, to be honest. My son gets the clothes he wants, I don't have the hassle of always telling him "h*** no I'm not paying that much for that!!", and she has the satisfaction of providing her son stuff he both wants and really appreciates. Kind of works out all the way around.
My folks have helped out many times with certain things, and lately other family members have pitched in for special occasions (his godfather for example), but generally speaking, yep, been doing it on my own all these years. | |
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