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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/7/2009 1:33:40 AM | | i have a son age 5 also and have never had help from his father ever. he knows he exists but would rather go to the pub but he also has another daughter called jaime who i think is around 23 she also has nothing to do with him. my daughters dad has always been involved with her but my son isnt bothered by this as my dad takes matthew to stay at his every weekend which i am glad of and matthew loves going to his grandads and his granny (my nana, my mums mum ) lives right next door to my dad. i have a lot of family and friends who help and i have done fine on my own with my son without anything from his dad. he has never paid anything towards matthews up bringing once. i used to take matthew to see his dad once sometimes twice a week but the last time we were there he was drunk and was itching to go out to the pub so i told him im not bringing im down anymore until he can get a grip and stop drinking as im not having him in the same room as my son while drunk. then he had the cheek to go and ask for a paternity test! there is definately not doubt matthew is his but i would rather do without his help. if matthew wants to see him when he is older then im not going to stop him but i will always be there for him if he is disappointed or hurt in any way | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/7/2009 8:56:55 AM | I have my Two children my son is 3 and my daughter is 1 and i do it with no help at all and its very hard but hey they make life more interesting. its very common and it is sad. But think of it this way they will always be able to count on you and you will be part of all their life decisions. YOU will Always be their rock and involved....     | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/7/2009 3:08:35 PM | | its very common there are more people out there raising there children alone then there are two people raising a child or children i have 3 boys age's 5 and under and i do it all on my own and its a hard thing to do but if they dont have me then they wont have anyone and i am mommy and daddy gto my boys and in the end it will all be worth it good luck and keep doing it | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/7/2009 11:16:53 PM |
Good point, if you take money out of it my ex and I support each other, however, I feel I do more of the heavy lifting.
I don't just mean from the other parent, but from family and friends.
If I were to say "I do this with no help", I feel like I would be spitting in the faces of those with shoulders that I've stained with tears, the emotional support I get personally by being welcomed into a family I am not married into, though they treat me like I am, and all of those who have given gifts or come over with their kids to play or invited me into their homes.
I may have never needed any money from anyone, but I can guarantee you they would offer it if I ever did. That to me is very helpful, because I know that if I ever fell, one of these amazing people would be there to soften the land, or at least be there to pick up the pieces with me.
Help comes in many forms, and gratitude should be shown for anything someone does to touch your life. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/8/2009 7:34:53 PM | My three kids are all grown in their 30's or near it and on their own now. While married I was basically single parent, he was too busy partying with his friends or girl friends. Once divorced it was easier, didn't have to deal with the fourth child (the ex). I survived the teenage years on my own with only a few flare ups. The ex rarely sees his kids only maybe at Christmas. He has no relationship at all with his daughter, never did, told me one time she is not his. I can't believe he cannot see the resemblance between the two, he is dumb. He never questioned the other two but only pays attention to our older son. He doesn't know his grandchildren and has never met his granddaughter.
After we divorced I had a hard time not receiving child support and in 2007 I finally received child support, would you believe? Yesterday I found out that he would like to give me a payment for the child support, I have heard that twice before and he has never paid me off so NO he will have to keep paying through the courts. I still have no trust for him. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/8/2009 8:06:08 PM | | I've had custody of my girls, now 18 and 15, for 10 years. I'm supposed to get a whole 47 bucks a week and get nothing. Their mother is a worthless POS who lives inside a bottle of vodka. I just ignore her and the money loss. The state took over her payments years ago. At first, they would automatically take it out of her paycheck. She would then quit her job. It takes the state months to re-track them to the new job before deductions would start. She would then repeat the process. For the last several years however, she hasn't worked and the state has already taken her drivers lic. That's about as far is it will go. Really unfair. Reverse the roles and I would of been in jail. Equal rights? My ass. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/8/2009 8:24:45 PM | | WOW! Reading these posts just make me feel so damn greatful that my kids' fathers' are both really fantastic about spending time with all 4 kids and being financially supportive. I feel so lucky right now, and I feel a great compassion for all of you. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/9/2009 6:35:48 AM | | I am a single mom of 3. My soon tobe ex(been apart 3 years) will do whatever he has to to avoid helping or paying child support even if it means going to jail(I only have him on 1/2 child support). He considers watching the kids while I grocery shop "BABYSITTING" . (Man, they are his kids too). I also lost my grandmother and both parents in the last 5 years so am feeling really alone in this raising kids situation. Don't get me wrong, if my ex there is that hell bent on not helping in any way then you know what? My kids are better off without him. He found us a few weeks ago online and tried to pretend the concerned dad until Money and telling him to grow up came into play then all of a sudden he's MIA again. The kids need a good role model not some guy who wants to pretend to others like he's a great dad for the recognition. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/11/2009 8:10:37 PM | | I was with my ex for 3 years, when i found out i was pregnant in march i was scared! it was so unexpected. I went home and told my bf at the time and the next day when i got home from work he had packed up all his stuff and left me. I havent heard from him since, im now 6 months pregnant and have no idea what i am going do sometimes! if it werent for my family i probably would be going crazy right now! I just dont get how one day someone can tell you how much they love you and then turn around and leave so quick when you need them the most! Now its funny how any guy that talks to me finds out im pregnant they suddenly want nothing to do with me! | |
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jfaw
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Joined: 6/11/2009
Msg: 643 | |
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jfaw
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Joined: 6/11/2009
Msg: 644 | |
| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/11/2009 8:46:18 PM | juelle23,
hold in there. Your family will get you through this. It will take some time. But the right guy will not hold it against you for having a child. I have dated many women who have kids. The ones I have pursued have been the ones who are part of their child's/children s life. I am a single father with no help to raise him. Family live to far away. I take him everywhere with me. We do everything together. I dont mind. Women I meet love the fact I dont leave him behind just to go out to meet women. My advice is to love that child, and be part of its life, and let it be your life. Go Big, Live Life | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/11/2009 8:47:05 PM | | that's so sad that your in-laws arn't apart of their grandbabies lives! You would think what little part of their son was living on they would want to be part of, and that they could help fill that little peice of those lil ones lifes r missin without their daddy! | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/11/2009 8:48:18 PM | I had no assistance or involvement from her father, however I can't say I didn't have help.
My mum was a wonderful help and they have a cool relationship as a result of all of the time they spent together. Her hockey coaches, wonderful volunteers all, gave her great male role models, taught her to shrug off penalties, take losses in life in stride, and be gracious in victory. More importantly, they showed her men are people and not some strange, separate species. She had some teachers, both male and female, in her early years who took special notice of her and a few who went above and beyond. Some of my friends and other members of my family developed their own relationship with her at some critical phases. And now my sweetie, coming into her life during the difficult teen years, has given her support to balance against as she figures life out.
A village raised my child, and I am thankful for each and every one of them. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/11/2009 8:50:28 PM | | I think if a man financially supports his kids he's only meeting part of his obligation to his children. A father is there financially if he is able, a daddy is someone who love's and supports his kids and is there maybe not everyday, but not a day goes by without him thinking of them! Isn't that what love is? | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 7/11/2009 9:33:52 PM | THERE ARE MORE "REAL" PARENTS OUT THERE RAISING THEIR CHILDREN OWN THEIR OWN THAN YOU WOULD EVER BELIEVE. MALE AND FEMALE.
I HAVE RAISED TWO [ 25 AND 21 YRS.] WITHOUT HELP FROM THEIR SPERM-DONOR [DON'T BE OFFENDED, REMEMBER I KNOW REAL MEN WHO ARE REAL
FATHERS TOO] [ OR SHOULD I SAY THAT ARE REAL DADDY'S ]. IT WAS STRANGE I HAD HELP FROM MY FAMILY AND EVENTUALLY FROM THE CHILDRENS STEP-MOTHERS FAMILY. BUT NOT FROM HIM OR HIS. THEN
16YRS. LATER I MARRY AGAIN. HAVE ANOTHER CHILD AND THEN THIS
MAN LITERALLY "WALKS" AWAY FROM US BOTH. HE HAS HAD NO CONTACT WITH THIS CHILD FOR ABOUT 5 YEARS.....NOR HAS ANY OF HIS FAMILY. I DON'T GET IT ! HOW CAN PEOPLE BE LIKE THAT...... TO PEOPLE
THAT THEY LOVE MUCHLESS TO HELPLESS CHILDREN ? I DON'T GET IT.
BUT THE ONES THAT STAY BEHIND AND ARE THERE FOR THE CHILDREN
[ RELATED OR NOT ] THEY ARE THE "REAL PARENTS AND FAMILY ".  | |
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