| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/7/2006 8:09:41 PM | You don't have to justify yourself, because one person is too angry to see the help this forum might give some single parents. I am a single mom, my daughter is almost a year old, and even though her father helps us out financially sometimes that is not enough. I am fine doing it on my own but sometimes I wish he was there for her emotionally. every little girl needs there daddy but i have family that gives her all the love that her father is to chicken to give.
I think single dads are amazing, to step up to the plate 100 percent is a big responsability for anyone. Most single moms would agree unless there situation is one where the child is better off without the father around and in that case I give al those moms props for being strong and holding to that as disapointed as you may be at times.
I don't think this forum is in anyway trying to let people know hwo has it worse off, but instead letting people know they are not alone and there are people like them to talk to. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/7/2006 9:52:31 PM | sexytulip2
"what im afraid of is when she's older and shes gonna ask why she doesn't have a daddy?? what im i to say.."
Well you can always say what my mother toled me when I found out about my bio dad. And that is well the truth but gently. And help when your kid wants to finde her father. Give her every bit of information that she will need when she is old enough. Just be there and be strong for her. She will always love you no matter what. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/8/2006 9:24:55 AM | | I have a 6 week old son, and his father wants to be around, but hes in jail right now and has child abuse charges from his previous ex and two kids, which were taken away not long ago. (I just found out about them). He doesnt want to be around unless we are getting abck together, and Im not putting myself through that again. Pretty much Im on my own with Mikal (my boy). It sucks, but IM getting the hang of it now. Im used to doing things on my own. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/8/2006 9:45:25 AM | I've been blessed with 3 wonderful kids, and cursed with an absentee babymother. Not complaining tho, would take the kids over money any day. They haven't had any contact with the mother for 6 months, and I anticipate things are not going to change any time soon.
I've noticed that there are quite a few custodial single dads on this site. Times they are a changing... nice to know I'm not the only one out here fighting the good fight. Now if we could only band together like the single moms do, babysitting network, hand-me-downs, and all the good stuff women have been smart enough to organize...
Keep your head up everyone... good things come to those that wait | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/8/2006 10:46:21 AM | | join the club Realdealiowa. I have been a single parent since 1992 without a stitch of help form my ex husband - neither emotionally, nor financially. My daughter is now 16. It is TOUGH, let me tell you. Hang in there and good luck. | |
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| How many single parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/8/2006 11:28:30 AM | | I'm almost in the same situation, I havent heard from my daughters father since I was 4 weeks pregnant and actually i'd rather not hear from him. He hasnt sent me a dime or anything for the baby at all, and matter of fact, I just heard the other day that he just had another baby with the girl he was cheating on me with like 2 weeks ago. I'm happy not hearing from him and wish I never had to again, But we go to court in November for paternity and child support. I'm blessed though because I live very close to my family and they have done nothing but support me since I found out I was pregnant and I think thats why i'm doing so well now. Keep on doing it yourself and forget about those deadbeat dads who arent worth a penny. | |
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Migra
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Joined: 1/5/2005
Msg: 108 | |
| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/10/2006 8:33:34 AM | THis a very common thing anymore.. and becomming increasingly common..for men with kids on their own also.
Its still the child that goes without..because regardless how much we love them..we cannot. be that parental figure they are missing..
I raised my son.. from eight months old.. on my own.. and gave up, having a life of my own..for him..as he deserved a good shot in life..
Hes now 19..in college..and doing great..hes well adjusted..smart... no booze or drugs..Hes done me proud..
His dad is near to non-existent..theres no love there..nor relationship per say..
Its HIS loss..Not mine, nor my son's..as we have each other.. he lost his son.
GUYS.. keep up the good work.it does pay off......
.my Hat is off to you... | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/10/2006 1:50:31 PM | | i am a single mother of a 2 yearold and a 5 yearold and my ex has not been in the picture since january 2005. He makes no attempt to be part of there lives, but its his loss. Some day he will regret missing out on the important things. | |
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Decoad
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Joined: 9/5/2006
Msg: 110 | |
| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/10/2006 3:48:39 PM | K let's keep it simple....
Yup there's alot of us raising our children ourselves...
It would be great to have some moral and financial help, absolutely...
I look at it two ways.... They don't miss what they don't have...
It's less complicated this way, no one is undermining your authority...
I am blessed with wonderful children that appreciate what I do for them.
That's what should matter, mutual respect, love and compassion in raising the best and most respectful members of society... Here here.... LOL.
LOVE & LIVE LIFE to the fullest !!!!
Deb. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/10/2006 3:57:35 PM | | hey, I have a 5 year old daughter, who's dad has been MIA for 3yrs. His family hates him, and they rarely talk to me, but we were both 16 so maybe that had something to do with it? we DID plan her by the way, but again, we were 16. I know a few single dads, but they still have contact with the kids momma. I was wondering to the guys out there, if they LOOk for single moms? and do mixed families work? Do mothers abandon their kids as much as fathers do? | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/11/2006 6:56:12 PM | My kids are now 19 and 21 - never had help of any type from their dad - but we made it thru everything - and the kids graduated from high school, they've learned to work hard for themselves, stayed out of trouble, my daughter put herself thru college, my son is in the army and we live in a nice home - with lots of great friends and family.
Sometimes they ask about the guy, but it was his choice not to be involved or support us. So we made it and hopefully they will put me in a nice nursing home when the time comes
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/11/2006 7:36:27 PM | | I'm a single (divorced) father. I've had full custody of my kids for almost 7 years. Early on their mother was totally uninvolved. The past 3 years or so I can get her to help from time to time, but she is not reliable. I can not tell you the last time I had a weekend that I did not have the kids. It definitely puts a damper on my social life... | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/11/2006 7:46:14 PM | I am single mother of two boys. My oldest hasn't seen his dad in two years. My youngest gets to see his dad every other weekend but his dad does not want to participate in any school functions, illness issues, etc. He only wants to be the "disneyland dad".
I think it is fairly common for one parent to be left with most of the responsibility.
I do admire single fathers who are willing to do what it takes to raise their children. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/12/2006 4:24:09 PM | | I am raising my 3 kids and a neice completely on my own. I get nothing financially, physically or emotionally. My "estranged" husband lives in another country and he has not seen any of the children for almost 2 years. If there is any correspondance between us it is usually initiated by me and financed by me. I work a full time job and it is not easy to find time to go out and meet potential life partners. I have no family support so it is just me and my kids. So yes you are not alone. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/12/2006 4:34:00 PM | | I envy all of the other single moms/dads out there who has at least someone to help them out in some sort of way. I think I have actually had 2 nights alone this year without all of the kids and those nights were not consecutive. Any other time I have my kids 24/7 and that is hard. Especially when you are looking for someone to share your life with but can't get out. I have been looking for a babysitter in my area but with no success. So even if you don't have someone who is giving you large support payments I would take a night to myself over a one month support payment anyday. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/13/2006 8:38:16 AM | Im a single dad,, 2 lovely children,, boy n girl,, they are now 15 n 16,, ive had them on my own for the last 6 yrs,, no financial support,, no birthday cards,, no christmas cards,, no presents,, NOTHING from their mother since the day she left 6 yrs ago,,,,
BUT,, what really sucks,, is all her family,, her parents, her aunties,, her sister and brother,, her cousins,, they all live locally and have also done exactly the same,,,
GO FIGURE HUH? | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/16/2006 10:13:10 AM | | I would take one night with out my kids any day over child support, my ex lives in alberta and i live in New Brunswick. i have only been here since November and i don't really know many people, i don't have much for family support, so there is no help there. I don't remember the last time i didn't have my kids. Baby sitters are hard to find and when you do, how do you trust a stranger to watch your kids. I work full time and when i am not there i am at home with my kids. No one said being a single parent was easy and i do love my kids, but i would love to just have a night for me. LOL | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/16/2006 2:24:47 PM | I am a single mother (widow) and have been raising my children alone for 10 years now. I have four boys and one girl still here with me. The older two kids have moved out and live on their own now.
Yes, it is hard to do it all alone at times, but it is also a great lesson for the kids. They learn a lot about independence and hard work. They learn to never give up or cave in to the hard times in life. We are all doing ok and things are always getting better. We started with nothing and now we have a little store, I home school all the kids and we have a house that is ours. The key thing is to just look ahead and never look back at the pain.
As much as I miss their dad, my husband, I would not change a thing that the kids and I have done since his passing!! | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/16/2006 2:32:07 PM | He use to give me $1,200 a month for 4 kids when times were good and when times were bad it was $5oo in one year. This years it been 0. The way I look at it is you take what you can and make do when you don't have it.
Bottom line I would rather he was in their lives and no money that to have lots and no dad. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/16/2006 4:51:41 PM | | I have no help...then again i think we are better without him in the long run...i know its sad to say it but sometimes i wish he didn't even know about her..i just didn't have the heart to withold such information from him. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/16/2006 6:36:04 PM | | i just wanted to say that i am a single mom of two girls,and my oldest is 6.Her da lives 3 blocks away and wants nothing to do with her since birth,but is always ready for me to fail as a mother so he can step in and then be the man....He says that when she gets older she will want him then and hate me for keeping her away from him...Im raising her ,i tell her the truth about him and how he doesnt want to be a dad,she knows that he lives close and his girlfriend is exspecting a son in Feb.Its hard raising children on your own,but you will get great things everyday in by raising them on your own.They will respect you more knowing that the other parent left you high and dry.I believe my daughter abd i will always be close no matter what.Its up to her to develop her own feelings for him,but always let them know that u love them no matter what..Keep your chin up...you are noe alone.. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 9/16/2006 9:32:45 PM | | As a single father of all daughters and raising the youngest now on my own with no help from her mother in any way, i have to say that i'd rather have her mother involved in her life than get any money. To me its not about the money at all, although it would be nice if she would help out when she can. Even though at times having her mom around causes problems and pain for her, i think in the long run, things could be alot worse. I had to tell our little girl, when she was only 6 that her mother had went to jail, and try to explain why? I had no clue how to, but i managed. To top it all off,after her stint in jail she had to go to treatment, then to a half way house far from here, so needless to say my little girl was really hurt and lost. But getting back to the thread, some people think that money is the solution, but its not. Emotional support and family support is most important, most kids don't get that at all or very little from the absent parent. It's very hard to raise kids with both parents around, and even tougher for the ones who aren't together. Just do what is best for your kids and yourself.Just keep up the good upbringing and always wear a smile. | |
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