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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 12/28/2006 5:54:46 PM | I raised my daughter from birth to marrage all alone. I got no help from her father. It was best that way because his drug habit made him terrifying and unpredictable. I didn't have to make him stay away, he just did. I got a little help from friends, but what I mostly got was interferrence from people. People thinking they were helping me by driving a wedge between my daugher and me. What they should have done was leave my daughter alone and just mow my lawn. People have no idea how to help single parents. They do more harm than good. A woman sat in my livingroom and told me what a bad parent I was right in front of my daughter. Well, my daughter who is 21 put on her myspace site that her hero was her mother. No child would say that if I were a bad mother. I have always loved and protected my daughter. We have a very loving and respectful relationship. Mainly because I have let go of her to become her own person instead of clinging to her and not letting her go. That is why she doesn't run away from me.
Her father came back into her life when she was 16. She didn't let him come in all the way. She took her time. He is completely drug free now and she let him into her life a year ago. They have a good relationship, but she is a tough young lady. She tells him how it is. She also found her 2 younger brothers from his second marrage and little sister from his old girlfriend. She tells her Dad that he had better stay in that little girls life and she even confronted him about his abusive behavior to her little brother when he was 4. I am proud of my daughter. Her Dad has owned up to his mistakes, but she still keeps a responsible guard on her heart. He apologized to me too.
I could be angry that he gets to enjoy her now after I did all the work, spending and crying to raise her. But, I look at like this, it is about her not him. I get to see my daughter gain something that has been lacking, her father. She isn't an only child anymore either. She is extremely close to her siblings. All those years ago during the struggle I thought it would never end, but it does and we are the parents they most respect.
Renee | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 12/29/2006 11:48:40 AM | i am a completely single parent i recieve emotional support from my parents but i recieve absolutely no help whatsoever from my sons father, or anyone else for that matter.
it's difficult and i often wonder what i will say when my son is 16/18 and asks queations etc.... | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 12/29/2006 8:07:07 PM | My kid's father chose to move back to his home town 3000 miles away. Family is 3500 miles away... There is no help for me either...But my thoughts are..i wanted her..i'm repsonsible for her..i love her..she's ALL MINE!!.....Finding someone who understands that, is the sad unfortunate hardship of that. I can't grasp the adacity of any mother...leaving her child unless its drug related, then better for the children. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 12/29/2006 8:29:57 PM | I have no help, either. I just found out - via the prosecutor's office - that my ex quit his job early November. That explains the lack of child support. Not that it was all that much, but it still helped some. And, he owes her that much.
I can honestly say that I wish he would leave. He has no interest in seeing her, unless he and I have some sort of tiff on the phone about something and he decides to spite me. And, now that I've started dating, I suspect he's going to want to do lots of spiting me. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 12/31/2006 9:18:16 AM | how about we just strip the genders and just bash the ***holes?? ((<---***holes are genderless as we all have holes in our ass))
Couldn't agree with you more. There are a lot of ******holes out there. I have been a single father of a wonderful 15 year old daughter for the past 14 years. My daugthers mother has not paid a dime inc CS.
The only question I have is ," Why do some people thing that Custodial dads must have a women in their lives for them to raise their children?"
Do any other Single fathers get this as well?
Doing it alone.......... in Canada | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 12/31/2006 10:07:09 AM | Diggy03
Where have you been!!??.It does matter!!!.It matters to the childern that these deadbeat parents left behind,wondering where thier mommy/daddy is.If you had no actuall word of encouragement for this man,or anyone else who responed to the post,then you should have moved on to the next thread,instead of being a B***H!!! | |
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babs3
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Joined: 7/30/2006
Msg: 184 | |
| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 12/31/2006 10:09:04 AM | 01031960,
You are the kind of Mom I am trying to be. My 16 mos old (hasn't ever seen her dad) just called me Mommy (and knew what it meant!) for the fist time a few weeks ago! I loved your comment on mowing the lawn!..too funny, and very true at our house! Thanx for the insight into the future for me and my lil one...........it makes me feel like I am on the right path! | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 12/31/2006 10:29:50 AM | Hotchiq
You know,I felt the exact same way,before I had my first son.But I have been doing it on my own for almost 5 years now,(cause seriously,I have no real help from my ex-husband either,lol).And now I have another baby,as well.I have faith in you hon,if all of here can do it,you can do it.Good luck,and you will be in my prayers. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 12/31/2006 11:05:29 AM |
The only question I have is ," Why do some people thing that Custodial dads must have a women in their lives for them to raise their children?"
i would assume because many do this .. my ex is one of them(non-custodial though), after i left him he had a woman in the house within 6 days .. they fight all the time yet he wont let her go because he needs help when he has our boys every other weekend... roughly 96 hrs a month and he needs a woman to help out
i think for custodial men it is exactly the same for custodial women.. we go thru good and bad days in learning how to be a parent to our children the best way we can, we may have a support system and yet we may not.. either way its the same battle | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 12/31/2006 11:37:33 AM | I have 3, and care for them on my own with no help at all. I live 70 miles away from friends or family.
their father has no interst in them, which is his loss.
Like i say.. when my son is in his 20's and walks up to his father in a pub and knocks him clean out.... I wont be wondering why. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 12/31/2006 12:19:53 PM | | hello, i am a single mom and i have been doing it on my own for just about 2 years...i think that it is a very common thing to have single parents with no help... but sometimes you have to wonder it may just be better with them not there, i would love my son to have a father but does he really need one that is ut being a loser, i have worked to hard to raise my son the way i have to have him screw with my childs head, and for those of you that allow the childs other parent to walk in and out of there life y do u allow that? my father did it to me when i was younger and it just really f**ks with ur head, it leaves u wondering what u ever did wrong...and i am sorry i am not trying to tell u how top raise ur kids because u are all abviously doing an awesome job....but just think about what is going through they're heads.... | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 12/31/2006 12:52:38 PM | Hi I am a single parent of a five year old boy and get nothing...NOTHING! Sorry about that and in addition to the nothing that I get I also get nothing in the way of time to get out and date and nothing in the way of any kind of a relationship with the girls that I do meet based upon the fact that I do have a kid....NOTHING | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/1/2007 10:13:39 PM | I live with my 12 year old Daughter. Her Mother is supposed to see her twice a month, on weekends. Unless I ring her and take our daughter to her place it just dosen't happen. The result? Our girl deleted every photo depicting her mother from her graduation pics. We get no help, and her mother will not answer emails, and turns off her phone if we ring her. Basicaly the only chance our daughter gets to communicate is when her Mother is on Messenger, and now she has been showing herself as being offline.
It is little wonder that Ashley is hesitant about her feelings for her Mother. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/1/2007 11:11:26 PM | | I am a single dad. I have had my kids for 5 years without any help from my ex as well. Is hard but so far am making it work. I am sure that one day she will try and jump back into the picture to say what a great mom she is. Hope the kids have enough common sense to see what she has done to them. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/1/2007 11:22:06 PM | | I ama single mom to 3 kids. I've been on my own for nearly 6 years now with no child support or contact from my ex husband. I don't bother trying to bash my ex, he is what he is, and I know I am doing what is best for my kids. As far as single parenthood goes it could be worse. I have been able to stay home 75% of the time with them, and homeschool, taking them to work with me in the afternoons. We have our difficulties but even married couples can experience those. I think there comes a time when you decide to stop wasting energy worrying about or griping about the absent parent and instead focus your energy on what really matters, your kid(s) and making your life the best life possible whether you have help or not. | |
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saree
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Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 193 | |
| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/2/2007 2:44:46 AM | Hi,
im a single mum of 1 little 4 year old girl and her dad has had no contact with her ever since she was 4 months old and i think its quite sad really not for them but for the children and they dont know what there missing out on. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/2/2007 5:53:16 AM | I have two boys 11 and 14 that I am raising alone, thier mother passed away 9 years ago from cancer. The Social Security office determined she didn't work enough for them to qualify for SSI. Go figure they don't want to pay out any money.
Family and friends have been great in helping when really needed. Her parents are still a major part of my boy's life and will remain to be. It is very important to me that they have contact with that side of the family. I still call them Mom an Dad even tho I remarried and divorced since then. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/2/2007 8:37:18 AM | I am a single dad and my EX has done everything but pay attention to her son, I have had sole custody for 4 years now and it has gotten to the point where we cant even talk. She has a realy good job and managed to pay off all her debts but in the meantime forgot bout her son, she does see him every other weekend but every time I ask for any type of support for him she stops talking to me.
So your not alone. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/2/2007 2:29:07 PM | | Wow..it's pretty shocking to see how these poor children are neglected. My situation is kind of unique as my girl was created out of selfishness on my part. I asked my best friend to help bring her into this world and we discussed it..and she's the best thing that every happened to me. He's involved, (as far as a dad 3,000 miles away can be) and she knows who he is and we visit once a year. So as for support, i think he already gave me the best gift anyone could have given me. Her education is taken care of, and that is pretty much where the child support would have been put to use. The odd deposit goes into her account as well. It's good. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/2/2007 9:03:52 PM | For 3 yrs now, i raise my sons (4&8) with 0 support from their mother.
4 yr old doesn't even know who she is.
8 yr old is telling me, get 2 gf's daddy, so when 1 is busy we have another one to visit and can play with us.
Where he gets that from, I have no idea because I haven't even a had gf in all this time.
This topic is such a can of worms.
Kids know they are loved and wont be abandoned vy atleast 1 parent... what else good could be said about it? | |
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