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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/3/2007 3:05:06 AM | I've been on my own since three months preggo: I showed him the door despite his bs about marrying me-he's no good and since i had seen many friends and aquaintances have major troubles I saw it as my first decision as her mother to decide after weighing the consequences of each scenario that having no father was peanuts compared to the troubles some kids endure in other situations.
Her birth cert. says father unknown so we have no legal issues whatsoever and my daughter is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. I've never recieved a cent from the " donor" and that's the way i like it..lol....she's all mine-and man is she hilarious!  
It can be stressful for sure at times... ( I've often wondered what the experience is like for couples...lol...my guess is not much less overwhelming...) but we gain strength from our experiences and this guides us as we continue on this crazy ride!  | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/5/2007 10:27:58 AM | I think it is great to read all these stories to know you are not alone and that it is do-able. Yes it is very hard. But what we are all doing to try to raise our children right, that is awesome!!
I have 3 children (8, 7, 5) I have been raising on my own for the past 3 years. My ex had a drug problem, which for the most part he has overcome, but he still has no place to live. He takes them 6 hours a week, and on the 2 week Christmas break he took them twice while I was at work. He is 18,000 behind in child support and regularly tells me things like, I don't have any money because you are taking it all, I can not get a place to live because you have all my money (he really flipped when I went on a 3 day vacation last summer). The hardest part for me is not raising the kids, or really dealing with him. It is that the kids love him so much, and someday they will learn the truth about him... It makes me so sad. I wish i could do something about that..
  Anybldy else worry about this or have dealt with it already?? | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/5/2007 11:37:08 AM | I seriously don't know how all those of you doing it with more than one on your own do it!! I've only got one ( ..and I have a good job, so even though he's never paid-we're ok.) and some days I feel like pulling my hair out of my head..lol.. so really my mucho -deepest respect to all those of you-doing it on your own with 2,3, or more kids on the go...
OMFG! You're amazing!
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/5/2007 2:23:49 PM | | I am a single mom and get no help. My daughter has never seen her father, nor had she ever heard from him. It is better off now! I have my family and friends that love and support her and I. If her father ever did come into her life now, it would ruin her! I am the only parent she knows and until I find someone that loves me for me and her for her, then I will be the only parent. I have no problem supporting her and loving her on my own! SOmetimes, it is better that way too! No headaches or stress dealing with someone. Yes, it gets lonely too! But take the good with the not so good and it all works out! Single parents are strong, responsible, and loving! | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/5/2007 8:11:49 PM | I 2 am a single mom, yeah it gets hard sometimes but I have been the only parent since day one and honestly all I can say to ""his Donor"" is Thankyou for giving me the most amazing part of my life and I have such an amazing family who will help me give him all the love he needs...
To all you single parents doing it on your own "KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK" your children will grow up to be wounderful people..
good luck everyone.. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/5/2007 8:34:44 PM | Laura23w
Here,here Baby,I hope both my boys do the same to thier fathers,'cause they would deserve it.And well given the fact,that I am 6'4",I know both my boys will be bigger then thier dads.I know it's a bad thing to say,and by no means,will I encourage it,('cause truthfully,what kind of mother would I be if I did).But privately,I wish it on,both of them.And if I am present,when they do it,I'll be cheering them on!!,lol.
BB
Amy1979 | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/5/2007 8:52:35 PM | I have only ever been a single mum, my eldest daughters dad done a runner when she was 3 weeks old
and my younger ones daddy done a bunk when I told him we were going to have a baby
so, I have been totally on my own for 15 years now.....24/7 can be tough, especially when you dont have a great support network around you
but Im a proud mum, I have been blessed with 2 gorgeous girls whom i adore with all my heart | |
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babs3
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Joined: 7/30/2006
Msg: 210 | |
| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/5/2007 9:48:56 PM | bccutie,
I can totally relate to what you are saying. My boys dad is an alcoholic and I have always been the scapegoat for his broken promises. I have protected my kids from the truth of the situation for years...I think you are doing the right thing by your kids and not burdening them with adult problems....even if those problems aren't your own. My 13 yr old has started to question his Dad's promises....and it breaks my heart to see this. All I can do is try to explain away the shortcomings of his Dad, and provide the things he deserves. I am in the same boat as you are...my kids love their dad...and have no idea he neglects his responsibilities finacially. That is also something I would not like my boys to find out about...as it would make them question themselves and their importance to their dad.....
As for you......I offer these words of praise...keep up the good work girl! Look at what you get in return for all your hard work from your kids! Money can't buy you memories....and fighting with your ex only tarnishes them! be kind to yourself...once ina while!! and don't feel selfish about giving yourself a break now and then. Best wishes to you and your lil ones in the New Year! | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/6/2007 8:07:51 AM | | i am a single father in England and i have been bringing up my daughter alone for 9 years...she is now 13...we've had no help from her mother and in fact my daughter really has lost interest in seeing her mother at all...because i settled away from the rest of my family, when i left the army,i have not had a great deal of support from that quarter either....but i will tell you this...despite the hardships...and yes the loneliness at times...i would'nt have it any other way!! all those dead beat dads out there, just don't know what they're missing...so keep it up mate...you're part of an exclusive club and you can be proud of what you're doing. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/6/2007 2:41:15 PM | | I've been a single parent now for over three years, having fled an abusive relationship the day the abuse shifted from myself and threatened my children . In my case however the transition was hardly noticeable, as despite being in a two parent family I was the sole carer for the children and bread winner for the entirety of their lives. Yes it's tough; financially it destroyed me as I left with the clothes we had on and a few of their favourite toys, but we're safe, and together, and the material things can always be replaced. It would be nice to have a more active social life, a healthier bank balance, mornings where I can sleep in past 6 or a night where I can sit down and watch the evening news without a battle to change the channel over to The Simpsons, but I adore my kids and firmly believe a one parent happy family is more beneficial to their upbringing than a two parent disaster zone. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/6/2007 3:51:37 PM | 
Hey everyone.
Single mother of 5 with no support here. I myself am very content with raising my children without my ex. as Raven39 stated above in some cases it is safer and healthier for them not to have that innfluance around, in any way.
It might be difficult at times, and money can be tight, but life doesnt revolve areound the material crap.
Really being bitter gets us nowhere, if a parent chooses to not partake in the raising of his or her child, then it is that persons loss. You can only control yourself and your own actions in life. You have been blessed, not cursed, be proud.
So love them kiddies up, smile and enjoy!!.
~Autumn | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/6/2007 5:34:44 PM | My x walked out of our lives when our son was 7 months old. I was obtaining my Master's degree and starting up my practice at that time. I have had no financial support from the father to date or any contact (now 13 yrs latter). He is in breach of support payments. Somehow he has been able to make it although he has been inforced to not be able to obtain loans, credit cards, driver's licence, to somehow where ever he is make it all these years.
I had to pay for everything prior, without relying on anyone financially, and was able to do it. However parenting alone was the hard part at time's for me, to say ' I need support' if I am going to keep my career, have a life, and offer a decent one to my son.
I had to become humble and reach out at first feeling of 'humiliation'. Foremost of being labelled a single mother, not being able to do it on my own, and it being my fault I was.
I was blessed with grace that this did not happen. Being a single parent can be hard if you allow it. I choose not to allow it to be hard, or wallow in self pity, by knowing and allowing the opportunity's that other's are out there to help us. We do'nt have to do it all by ourself's nor do we need to 'find' a partner.
Eventually it was learned my son had special needs. I then acceptted to the offer to have a network of support team, so that he will enjoy school, and he does.
This has helped me to understand his capabilities without 'upsets' on me, and 'pressure' to him' throughout his years in school now.
I also work as a missionary and then they began to reached out to us. They invite us to events, gatherings, and have always gave him those extra gifts for him.
Some male friends of mine have been like 'big brother's to him doing things’ guys' should do together, and setting a great example to him about men.
I have been often complemented on how wonderful a son I have, and what a great job I am doing. I give this credit to so many who have helped me while being a single parent.
I have no regrets or bitterness towards my X. He is the one who has lost out on knowing all those magical moments and hallmark memories, not all of us.
You have to make the best out of things. Don’t rain on your own parade because the ‘significant’ other is not there. Money is not what makes parenting. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/8/2007 5:02:59 AM | You know I read these threads and I feel for you all.
I have been on my own since my daughter was 2 days old and her mum died. So I have no one to hate/blame, which I think in some ways is better, that sounds odd but when I relate stories of her mum to my daughter its done with love and affection. We are able to talk about her ans share a love.
Happily I am soon to marry one of my wifes best friends (sometimes it takes a major change for 2 people to actually admit how they feel about one another) we have decided to do it on the anniversary of my wifes death, we talked long and hard about it, but it is what she would have wanted and given that they were best friends from the age of 4 it is kind of fitting. My wifes family are happy for it to happen that day and see it as a tribute to their daughter. My daughter who will be 7 2 days before actually suggested it in the first place, she said " it would be nice because then everyone would remember everything" | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/8/2007 6:01:22 AM | Hey All,
Im new on here.SO Hi all
Well i'm a single mum to 4 children: 20 months,8yr,10yr girls
and 12yr old boy! im totally on my own no family support.
as passed away.my ex just upped and left never to be seen
again  So they only have me.
we have our moments when things get tough
but we get by.
people always ask me. how do you cope?
it's a case of having too.Because there
my world.  
As in dating: guys RUN a MILE. when
you tell them!! but hey that's my life..
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/8/2007 12:00:11 PM | Hi I admire you bringing up 4 kids by yourself with no family support!
Like you I'm completely on my own.I have no help from father ,and I have no family round her. At least I have the option to move closer to them ,which I'm seriously thinking of.
I only have 2 children,11 year old and and two yr old.
You do have to find a way of coping somehow.
Some days I really struggle and feel near breaking point.I love my kids and would'nt do without them.
It's not just the children as such ,is the running of the house,the bills,college work!
I dont know how us single parents do it all! I feel like I'm just keeping my head above water all the time.
some Men do run a mile!,some men try! but are not interested in your kids really(that's where you have to be strong ,if there no good 4 em to get rid of em) (I dont find that difficult really as if there is no love for my kids,i find it hard to love the man).There are some really nice men out there who genuinly want to take us all on! but very few.
not just talking about men ,as I know there must b single dads out there who have the same problem 2 . | |
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fifi4u
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Joined: 11/17/2006
Msg: 220 | |
| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/8/2007 2:48:21 PM | Hi all
Iv'e got 4 girls,2 of which have special needs and i have brought them all up on my own.There dads have NEVER paid a penny or showed any intrest...more fools them.its hard work,ive never gave in and i never will.There the ones with the problem. i say well done for all us single parents out there we all deserve a clap on the back.
The thing i find the hardest is finding a new partner who will take them all on.Any body got any advice on that matter....as i think im about to give up. | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/8/2007 9:52:56 PM | I'm also a single dad for just about 3years and the mother has had nothing to do with them for the same amount of time. But the way i look at it is it's her loss as it seem that they just start walking then they start riding bikes then,,,, wow they do grow up fast..
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/9/2007 6:10:48 AM | Hey all Again Jerryco,Fifiu,Dragonfire30
Yep kids always come first.
But us as parents also have needs too
For cuddles & adult conversation,watch a dvd
compassion and many things other things that
we all desire..
But being a single parent for me personally
guy's do run a mile!! because of me having 4 kids
Yeah agree there are guys out there
but all I attrach is :weirdo's ,saddo's and desparado's
hence that's why im still single. they think because your
single parent you will take any scumbag!!
I just live for my kids at present... | |
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| How many sinle parents have their kid or kids with no help?
Posted: 1/9/2007 9:24:29 AM | I am also a single dad of two boy's , I havent heard from their mother in 8 year's not even a b/d card for the boys , I lost one of my boy's when he was 7 , she came to the funeral but then F--KED OFF with the donation's from family and friends , leaving me with the full cost ,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,and women wonder why men are afraid to committ,,,,, | |
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