| Not enough time........
Posted: 7/20/2006 6:03:52 PM | | Busy people can always find the time to take care of the things that are important to them. | |
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| Not enough time........
Posted: 7/20/2006 6:11:42 PM | | This post really hit home for me. The guy I have been dating doesn't seem to have much time to spend with me either. But he finds plenty of time to fish, play games, and whatever else he wants to do. It really upset me at first, but he kept calling and seeing me, so i just figured he was getting to know me and was probably used to having all of his time to himself and would spend more time with me as the relationship grew. But after 4 months together, he still doesn't seem to have much time for me. It's been over 2 weeks since we've seen each other right now, and it's killing me. I even asked him about it and told him maybe we were just looking for different types of relationships and I needed more from him. He told me I worry too much, which i took to mean in his vauge way that he was interested just had a lot going on. But i can't help but feel that if he was interested in me he would see me more often. Every other man I have dated has smothered me with attention, so at first I found this space refreshing. But now I'm just frustrated and confused. I've given him every oppurtunity to be honest and end things if that's what he wants. I just know that when you like someone, you want to be with them. The more you like them, the more you want to be with them. Why is this all so difficult! I say just say what you mean and mean what you say. | |
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| Not enough time........
Posted: 10/11/2006 6:12:11 PM | Well,I've been snubbed off because I spend every second weekend with my kids and the opposite weekends are for getting the things done that I don't have the time to do during the week.
I suppose that people venture these dating sites because they do get lonely and want a little more in their lives but,they still have priorities.There is a great lady that I met on this site more than 6 months ago that lives a few hours away and neither of us have had the time to even meet in person.She works two jobs and has 3 children,I work more than full time and then manage to run a website that gets half a million hits a month.
I guess with most of us getting worked like a rented mule,then it's no wonder people don't have much time. | |
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| Not enough time........
Posted: 10/11/2006 7:08:07 PM | IT SEEMS THESE DAYS PRIORITIES ARE:
1-Health
2-Family
3-Friends
4-Work
5-A toss up between Dating and Golf....
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Anno41
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Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 30 | |
| Not enough time........
Posted: 10/13/2006 11:13:53 PM | "Well,I've been snubbed off because I spend every second weekend with my kids and the opposite weekends are for getting the things done that I don't have the time to do during the week."
Hello? There are only seven days in a week. It doesn't sound like you are available at all.
I don't mean to sound like an a$$hole but what I can't understand is people who are clearly unavailable who are looking for a relationship. I did check out your profile and it said you were looking for a friend but when I read further, it sounds like you are looking for a life partner. I totally understand you putting your kids first. That's where they should be.
I hope I haven't offended you too much, I guess it is a hot button issue with me because I dated a guy who really wasn't available either and he broke my heart. | |
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| Not enough time........
Posted: 10/13/2006 11:34:29 PM | | If he was really into you...he'll make the time...no doubt about it...even if he really was busy...as they say...calling you would/should be the best part of his day. I dated this guy once who would schedule me in his planner ie. make time for me...I was really impressed...I guess I was just as equally important as all the other things he had to do as busy as he was. | |
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| Not enough time........
Posted: 11/8/2006 12:56:06 AM | Had to add my own thoughts on this one.
Wonder why, if you have been seeing each other exclusively, why would someone visit POF
both before and after chatting with you on messenger or phone? Or visit the site first, and then spend time chatting with you off the site, only to return again to this site??
My thoughts are that make time for the person you are seeing, and focus on that, rather than visiting the site, you will ultimately gain much more pleasure from that person.
Is it that the site is intriguing, or some sort of hook, or is it that even after quite some time of seeing only one another, why keep coming back to the site even though you have indicated this in the profile as I have, that it is exclusive.What do you hope to gain from these actions.
True, I have made some friends here and see no need to look, the forums always seem to have lots to say, and I think that is the reason I remain. I have no desire to visit frequently, but out of curiosity, I thought I would check in, and noticed what has been happening.
We are all adults and make choices, but all in all, what is the purpose of the site? Really??
Welcome all thoughts
Cheers for now | |
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| Not enough time........
Posted: 11/9/2006 5:52:06 AM | You have to make time to get time!
If someone can't give you the time or make the time you need to get to know each other, then I guess that's it, nothing else to say or do no point in wasting any more time on that person after all it is a precious commodity and you can never get it back.
Time out, game over, move on, goodbye!
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| Not enough time........
Posted: 11/18/2006 3:54:51 AM | | I understand the time thing. I have a really busy schedule myself, too busy most of the the time. But, there comes a point where the not enough time thing wears out, even with the most paitent humans. I agree with the previoius posters. When you really WANT to spend time with someone and develop some type of meaningful lasting relationship you make the time. Because you want to, not because you have to. It just takes some of us longer than others to wake up and realize we are nothing more than a convient "booty call." | |
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| Not enough time........
Posted: 11/18/2006 9:03:34 AM | | Really if someone started feeding me crap like "i'm really busy" I would tell them to save their lies for someone else. It's an insult to you intellectually as well to expect you to believe such garbage. | |
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| Not enough time........
Posted: 11/18/2006 9:14:46 AM |
Perhaps I am just being gulliable.
Not perhaps you are being gulliable, you are definitely being gulliable. You are not the priority in this man's life. When someone does become a priority he will have time for them. Right now he may be too busy checking out other fish to bother with you.
Get real and get some pride in yourself and move on. | |
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| Not enough time........
Posted: 11/18/2006 9:20:53 AM |
But now I'm just frustrated and confused. I've given him every oppurtunity to be honest and end things if that's what he wants. I just know that when you like someone, you want to be with them. The more you like them, the more you want to be with them. Why is this all so difficult! I say just say what you mean and mean what you say.
He is saying and doing what he means. You simply can't accept it. What is there to be confused about? He has put you in your place and if you don't like that place, go out and find a better place for yourself. | |
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| Not enough time........
Posted: 11/18/2006 9:33:21 AM | I've said this myself to a ladyfriend. It's not that I don't want her to be a priority in my life but I'm a full time dad of two boys, I have a job, I have a house that needs upkeep, I have hobbies, I have other friends...
When we first started seeing each other, we spent LOTS of time together, other things were being neglected so I could spend time with her. I personally would like to think of myself as a desirable guy... How can I consider myself desirable if I let the rest of my life slip away? I'm really lucky that she understands this instead of being all hurt about it. She's got a life too.
Things would be much different if we were living together or married or something. Then we can share more of the busy times together. There's certainly no rush.
If we are both firm about keeping our lives in order, then the time we spend together is that much more special because we know we can have our minds on each other and not on the list of things that we need to get done.
Can't people relax and just enjoy a good thing? | |
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| Not enough time........
Posted: 11/18/2006 9:44:41 AM |
what I can't understand is people who are clearly unavailable who are looking for a relationship
Because people are hardwired to be social critters and desire companionship, love, sex and a connection with another person. But... people are also emotionally wired, and fears, insecurities and other hangups, usually about commitment and a sense of losing their independence or becoming vulnerable to another person, interfere. So, the "workaholic", for example, may use his work to keep himself from involvement with another person out of an irrational fear of losing his independence, rather than balancing his work life and relationship, along with all the other areas of his life.
I read a profile on another site that said: "Because I am looking for a real relationship that will last, I believe in taking time to get to know each other... please understand I work many long hours and have limited free time. I do need some time to myself." What a mixed message, eh? The writer knows that relationships need time, yet then goes on later in her profile to admit she's not going to make much time for the relationship, and out of whatever free time she has that could go to the relationship, she wants some of that to be "alone" time, meaning that whoever her potential partner may be, they're going to be made to feel as if they're not important, last in line of everything else in her life, only there at her convenience, her life is more important than his, which discounts his and makes for an unequal partnering, and that relationship will most likely fail.
Anyway, I think that becomes a guide for us. If your love interest doesn't make time for you, find someone who will. | |
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morgus
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Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 40 | |
| Not enough time........
Posted: 11/18/2006 10:42:17 AM | | sounds like an excuse to me...heard many before....sometimes this should be too many fish instead of plenty of.....guess the question here is should one take one at a time....or many at a time....i do know this....the gold ring doesnt exsist.....im trying to get to know one at a time....its the only way. | |
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| Not enough time........
Posted: 11/18/2006 11:44:10 AM | Sugar coating can make one feel better, but doesn't correct a problem. I kind of hate to do this but I used to wonder why no one clued me in when I missed something socially..... I'm doing this is with best of intentions.
I believe that message says "I think you are a nice person, but we really don't have anything in common, no chemistry; or worse, but seems closer, instead of adding joy, interest, and energy to my life, you seem to suck the life out of me..."
I've had nice, decent, pretty or even beautiful gals come up to me, want to date me or want to spend time with me; and they bored the life out of me. They wanted me to entertain them, be "on"; put on the super personality and engage them. Why? Gave me nothing to inspire me to do the work let alone ALL the work. On the other hand, I've been charmed by dubious characters, very plain looking lassies that have personalities. They owned me for a while. I'm bookish, moral, like to listen and observe, love to be entertained more than showing off, like quiet time, and a lot of my personal contact with the world is nonverbal. Yet I change my POF ad and try to make it informative and entertaining. Why? It shows that I'm willing to reach out, want a relation enough to do some work, which shows I might be appreciative of a good woman in my life. I was a dud when I started dating and when I started advertising here. In both cases I wanted a love in my life and experimented. Surprisingly the crazier (or showing confidence) I got, the more desirable people I've met. Passivity is a relation killer. Try to express some of your enthusiams. "En theos" is root, i.e. "In God ". Enthusiam is the necter of life.
Best to you sweetheart,
I could very well be speaking of my own isolated experiences, and not be accurate for you, but consider... I have internal dialogue, friends talk, best friends talk, superficial social, friendly social, business, and family talk....
BB | |
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| Not enough time........
Posted: 6/18/2008 4:55:22 PM | I just seem to find guys that only want to see you once a week or just call once a week. I am frustrated with this because I always thought if you found the ONE that you would try to spend as much time together or at least talk on the phone so you can get to know the person as well as you can... Why do guys say they want long term and then don't make the time for it? Kids are not an issue for me because they are grown and out of the house. I have my own place and a nice car. Why is it so hard? I would like to find someone family orientated and likes to listen to live music. Doesn't seem to be that hard but for some, they just want to see you and want nothing to do with your personel life. Maybe I haven't met the right one yet...  | |
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| Not enough time........
Posted: 6/18/2008 5:54:17 PM | Pick me, pick me...lol
I am floored at the number of people thinking that they are honest and upfront are actually cowards hiding behind a screen calling themselves adults.
Absolutely, the one you are interested in, you ALWAYS make time for.
No matter what ...I think it's a cop out most times. What happened to just saying "thanks, but no thanks...I'm just not connecting that way with you". Wouldn't you rather hear that, then be told there is no time for you and left wondering if you did something?
And truly....cannot tell you how right you are...What the hell are they doing on a dating site under the heading of dating or LTR and actively seeking people out if they are really not ready for it???
Just my thought! | |
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| Not enough time........
Posted: 6/18/2008 6:28:29 PM | I think you are being gullable. Do you actually think a guy that is dating a hot young girls will not find time for her? mmm
I see in the U.S. we are very poor managers of our time. We waste a ton of it. I think we are mostly unorganized at times. It's funny how people will spend the night 2 nights to go to a movie premier or get tickets to an event, or they will wait in line to get an iphone or video game; If we want something we make the time. | |
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| Not enough time........
Posted: 6/18/2008 7:06:13 PM | Probably means they are dating a few other people, or simply just don't know what they want. But now a days, with rising costs of living, how many people have to hold down two, three or more jobs? Who has time for dating after that? Could be he's telling you the truth.
I too am in a similar situation BUT my BF lives an hour's drive away, and commutes to and from work an hour each day. So after all that driving, there's not a whole lot of day left to spend with each other. For us to have date during the week, that means a total of four hours of driving for him in one day. When we can't see each other on a weekend, it hurts but you get through it. Eventually you have to decide if what he has to offer you is enough or if it's time to find someone else who can offer you time. | |
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| Not enough time........
Posted: 6/18/2008 7:10:21 PM | The "I don't have time" excuse is BS.
Believe me... if they are really into you then they are going to make time. | |
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| Not enough time........
Posted: 6/18/2008 10:01:27 PM | | Happens more often than you think. It's a away of blowing someone off. I can guarantee if they were genuinely interested in more than a piece of "candy" they would make the time! No one is that busy.................... | |
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| Not enough time........
Posted: 6/19/2008 4:34:51 AM | I guess I just needed someone to say it out loud. The guy I have been dating is a great guy, treats me awesome but doesn't seem to want anything to do with my personal life or do things I like to do and it bothers me so much. Going out to eat or the movies is great, the park is ok too, but I want to go watch live music with someone and go to family functions. When it comes to money, I think I would rather have their time, not their money. Guess I shouldn’t be settling for what I don’t want and focus on what I do.
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| Not enough time........
Posted: 6/19/2008 5:12:40 AM | You starting dating someone and then out it comes.....I don't have a lot of time to spend with you...I have other things in my life that take top priority and I can not devote time to you on a regular basis.
Seeking S. - I got one even BETTER for you. How about people who place personal ads and in their profile it says, "He/she must understand that I have a busy life, and my career, college, and children keep me busy".
I'm like "Man, why even bother with him/her". It kind of contradicts the point of even being on a dating site....when they are going to put you 4th in their life. lol.
The guy I have been dating doesn't seem to have much time to spend with me either. But he finds plenty of time to fish, play games, and whatever else he wants to do
Yeah, there was this female firefighter I went out with....she was single, her son was already grown and living out of state, so she had no kids to tend to.
But apparently not only being a firefighter, she had taken on additional duties in the department.
She even takes her work HOME with her. LOL!
....she only met me for lunch once, but she claimed to be busy with this stuff.....AND....to draw a parallel with the guy who goes fishing and plays games.....she would call this her "ME" time.
I'm like "Great, you get all busy with your work and other stuff, and when you finally get some "downtime" you prefer to spend it alone.
Not that I'm against "me" time, but I thought it was just an excuse.
So, there are times it has nothing to do with, "It's just that their not that into you" but if they are posting it ina PROFILE before anyone contacts them.....then it's not personal...they just want their cake and eat it too. It's not that their NOT into you, they just don't want the responsibilities that go along with a relationship. And currently wouldn't make good relationship material.
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| Not enough time........
Posted: 6/19/2008 8:20:13 AM | | I met a guy on another site and we dated for about 4 and half months. At first, he was calling me constantly and we seen each other 2 or 3 times a week. Then he got really busy and couldn't even email me. He used every excuse there was, he was working hard, had to drive his grown daughter to the airport (this happened several times and the daughter had a husband that could have taken her), he had to babysit for his grandkids (again the parents could have gotten a sitter so that my boyfriend could have taken me out for valentine's day) he used every excuse in the book, too busy house hunting and running errands, etc. He sent me several emails listing why he couldn't date anymore. This man was almost 60 so it wasn't like he was just starting out in life, he could have found time. | |
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