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| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/20/2006 10:32:57 PM | mmmm why am i single....my male radar broke and i cant afford to fix it yet
last guy i was sorta casualy dating...stood me up 1 to many times for his friends...
before that....he came home and found his bags on the front deck  (he was warned not to give me a doubt he could be cheating)..he would be out...no words said dang he gave me a doubt
2yrs ago...guy i was dating decided..he couldnt beat on a guy who pissed him off..i was next best thing...oops goner
 anyone got a good male radar for sale cheap....
i seem to still keep attracting the jerks....sheeesh | |
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| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/20/2006 10:44:20 PM | Still trying to figure the whole dating concept again and not sure where to start. It's funny, as you read various profiles, everyone is looking for very specific things alot of which seem to be showstoppers. The question I ask, why would you intiate contacting someone for which you don't fulfill all thier criteria? What is wrong with just being a nice and friendly person ( this applies to all genders)?
Job environment is a limitation. The military is has a rather low M to F ratio. Not to mention the rank differentiation rule with respect to superiors and subordinates.
The kids are the priority above all and individuals that understand that relationship are few and far between. | |
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| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/22/2006 8:02:10 PM | I'm dating now - but it's difficult to find someone where there's a mutual attraction. In a year's time, I've only had face-to-face meetings with 3 women (2 ladies and 1 hooker - the latter I didn't know until she propositioned me during our date). I've also received about 1,000 rejections (or no-response) across several dating sites.
As to the question, there have been times where I've had a non-dating period in the past:
1) Full-time job plus graduate school 4 nights a week left little time to meet anyone. One of those years (of 5) was compounded by an illness of a parent (who subsequently died of that illness) - which took my remaining, available weekend time. All the interesting classmates turned out to be married.
2) Alot of disillusionment after being sexually harassed in the workplace. During the following legal battle (which lasted 13 years, but was only intense for 3), I did manage to date 2 people (in the intense period), but those attempted relationships fell apart quite quickly. A lack of chemistry or my mind just wasn't with it; I don't recall. Advice: DON'T DATE CO-WORKERS.
3) Working FOR and BY one's self doesn't make for a "healthy situation" in which to meet people. It's not really appropriate to date clients or the opposition.
4) I actually tried the volunteer thing for a few years - but never met anyone interesting who wasn't already married to someone else. No one seemed interested in me either.
5) In the mid/late1990's, I started to hear about the "Internet Dating" craze. Back then, it wasn't mainstream - and I thought they were nothing more than loser lists. Attitudes have clearly changed since. | |
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| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/22/2006 9:51:52 PM | I'm not dating because.....hmmmmm....oh yeah,the guys in this area are really not worth the time.Most of them are just not my type anymore (ie,they have money problems,they do a load of drugs,no car,shitty job,not going to school or generally going anywhere) or they're married or taken.While they will probably divorce shortly I am just not that patient.I think all the good guys are hiding or something or I am just looking under the wrong rocks.I am tired of calling them too.I am a good catch (or so I lead myself to believe) the fishermen are just plain lame though. | |
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| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/23/2006 1:00:30 AM | | I haven't found the right one. I won't ask someone I'm not interested in. I go dancing with a large group of friends several times every week. I am fine being with myself. Sure, I'd like to share with someone special. But until she comes along, I will continue to be patient. | |
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| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/23/2006 1:33:14 AM | Frankly I'm too busy with college and my son; however, there's other reasons such as:
Tired of hearing, "I like women, too" during a dinner date; damn near chocked on my steak the first time.
Tired of competing with the other two million men on the net, lol
Tired of Married Women; yes girls; it happens with us, too.
And just plain sick and tired of of being sick and tired, lol...
I've taken the Epictetus guide to living for now; avoiding negative, external stimuli... | |
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| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/23/2006 1:54:45 AM | I am hoping to meet someone that I can spend the rest of my life with, but I hate dating more than almost anything I can think of. I simply do not see the point in dating people that I am not remotely interested in, and that it is clear that nothing would come of it.
I have never liked dating at any age. I just wish I had followed this practice when I was younger, and I wouldn't be divorced now. Everytime I go against my basic first impression of a man, it has caused nothing but problems. I am rarely ever wrong.
I am convinced there has to be a better way than spending months or even years dating the same person, just to have it go nowhere. The older I get the less time I am willing to spend with someone that at least to me,it is clear they are the wrong one for me.
Not to mention the majority of men that have asked me out have been way too young(younger than 3 of my 4 kids) or way too old(older than my mother). I don't mind dating younger or older, but if they graduated high school this past June, or they fought in World War II, then that is a bit too much. | |
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| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/23/2006 2:03:55 AM |
Frankly I'm too busy with college and my son; however, there's other reasons such as:
That's another reason. For whatever reason I keep meeting men, that I am so busy with kids,school, work, etc. that I want to date and more but I just don't have the time. When they start saying that, I completely lose interest. In life we make time for the things we really want to do. It also tells me that he is not a man that I need in my life, as it tells me he can't handle a lot of pressure and when problems come up, and they always will, he won't be able to handle them. If I have to handle all of the problems, I might as well stay single. | |
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| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/23/2006 2:32:31 AM |
It also tells me that he is not a man that I need in my life, as it tells me he can't handle a lot of pressure
Are you nuckin futs? That's the most short sided anaology I've ever heard! What are we suppose to do; leave the kid at home to appease you? Perhaps pin a twenty to their chest and wish em the best of luck?
Hey, I know; I'll drop college, the kid, and even the job to be with you; like that would last ten minutes... | |
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| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/23/2006 3:53:58 AM | | Ive just started dating again after a 6 year break because I wasnt ready for the emotional stuff that comes with it, im still not sure im ready but im now willing to try and see how things go | |
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Xtype
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Joined: 7/6/2006
Msg: 41 | |
| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/23/2006 4:17:37 AM | Thats another pound in the Anderson pot...
I simply cannot be bothered "dating" anymore..if someone comes along of whom i like and want to get to know, then i'll develop a friendship and see were things go.
But thats about it. | |
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| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/23/2006 4:26:00 AM | At the risk of being flamed a bit I'll chime in here----mostly about the two gals above here: JustMeInNC and Philosopher227. I'm NOT picking on them alone but since they were brave enough to post something I'll cite their responses only as examples----no offense intended ladies. Please keep in mind I'm male so this is ONLY from MY perspective!!!
Both of them present what I think or have experienced to very, very unrealistic views on what their "perfect match" might be. While each have different thoughts they both seem to have such concrete ideas about who they'd ever consider. It's perfectly within their right to be or not be with anyone however if they represent the inflexibility of women saying they want to find someone who could ever really satisfy them? If this is what they want or must have is there a real, live man who fits what they want or need? It would seem not.
I'll admit the internet has helped change my mind about women and their thought processes---I'm more confused now than ever before! I never think online is even close to "real life" in a lot of ways but I do think it's anonymous nature lets people express themselves more openly than they might do in person. Some of what I've read from women (correspondence or forum posts) is disturbing as it makes so many of them seem quite shallow and focused only on the superficial when it comes to dating or even meeting someone. Again, the internet is NOT real life but if I'm accurate about it being more prone to free expression then we're seeing how SOME women don't look any further than they accuse men. This change of attitude I think is fairly recent (past 20 years) but it seems to coincide with the growing discontent SOME women have in their single lives.
I've been "rejected" for my choice of shoes, my taste in music, my height, my age, my profession and god only knows what other reasons----all of which are just personal preferences. In person I do much better despite this "problems" so I have that as a counterpoint to online but it doesn't really matter if the change of attitude I speak of is still in effect. I can't change most things about myself that keep some women away but I can't and would never try to change a bad attitude towards men in general either. That's their choice to hang on to that----and nothing I can do will change it "for" them!
I'm not hurting from a recent relationship and really am open to one sould it come along----but for now I'm not putting much effort into it either. In that way I accept that I'll get out just what I put in!! | |
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| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/23/2006 4:28:43 AM |  i just dont want to date. if i wantnt to date i can meet all the ladys i want and just keep dating.and have no need for the one special women.so i think if i save that one date for only one women.so in the mean time no try outs. | |
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| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/23/2006 6:00:42 AM | I've scanned the thread, read much of the posts and found that there are some here who have no idea why they're here much less why they are not dating... some are negative and it is apparent why they are not going on dates. I'm convinced that even another negative person, who would join them in their negativity, wouldn't date a negative. Maybe they're waiting for an opposite positive to see through their negativity... opposites attract? Not too likely to be fulfilling, much less long lasting. Others are so bent on humor that they can't answer the question seriously... even the op writes, "Oh yeah, I'm not dating right now because I'm too lazy or something like that...", however reading his profile one might find that he may just have a life hidden in his quirky sense of humor... now don't go all crazy on my a$$ OP, just calling it like I see it... lol.. I can see that you're looking for talk/email while honing your standup routine and that's all good. I have a sense of humor too, however mine is less obvious until one gets to know me... It's too easy for the truth to be lost in humor and many will just shake their head... huh??? Too busy to slow down and smell the flowers. Others pondered the question and answered for why some don't date, but didn't answer for themselves... maybe that means they are dating or maybe just avoiding showing their cards... again calling it like I see it, so don't you go all crazy on me either.
Ok... ok, since I've prefaced my answer with observation and intuition; if you've read this far, here's my answer...
I've gone on a couple of "dates" recently; even met a couple of women here, however I am like the guy on "Northern Exposure" who lives out in the middle of nowhere, because I can't tolerate live as you all know it... no lol.. On good days with low pollution levels I do go into the city and may even seek out a street dance or other outdoor event, but I am so profoundly sensitive to fragrances that even an outdoor event requires me to stand on the sidelines to avoid becoming sick and I still meet people... ok, I'll get on with it... I go places I enjoy and meet women, however many times I find that people, men and women, are just too afraid to extend themselves and take a chance or they know not who they are and so don't know what kind of person they are looking for.
All that said, that's my story and I'm sticking to it... been there, done that, got a closet full of t-shirts and still out there, keeping my eyes and ears open for new friends and potential love interests wherever I go. I have learned to be patient, remain open to possibilites, difference and know that my ship will come in before the pier rots away... lol..
Now I have to get to yoga and start my morning routine so that I can go off to the Wild River State Park for a seminar event on attracting birds and butterflies this morning. I'll check back later and see if anyone may care to debate the points I've raised here... I must say that even though I am a man of many words, I do not spend alot of time sitting at my keyboard looking at my monitor... waiting... to many other opportunities out there, although all serious replies will be addressed in due time.
Bright blessings and good luck to you all,
Jack
"Success is learning to deal with plan B"--author unknown | |
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| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/23/2006 6:02:38 AM | | just so u all know i'm saying all of this on both sides of the wall.alot of men have the same views and the same walls up!i guess this is what stops most of us from opening our hearts up and letting anyone in.i don't think any of us can say we don't want that special person,i just think most of us r just to scared to try and let that special person in. | |
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| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/23/2006 6:09:20 AM | ROFL Well my luck continues... why am I not dating? Well, let's see. One of the two local women just wants to be eternal friends. And the second who I met out in the real world hasn't made it home in 4 days. Her mother called me and is worried. The woman has a past with drugs and having had a SO who OD'd and died when we were living together, I can almost bet, she is laying in a Crack House somewhere. She kind of hinted around about wanting to use the last time I talked to her. Unfortunately, she was the one female I have met anywhere who was willing and open to having a sexual relationship.
So, unless I travel 400 miles to the nearest dateable woman, I am back where I started when I joined POF... dateless and relationshipless... LOL life sucks sometimes...
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| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/23/2006 9:25:09 AM | well as to be . a very special person to just open your heart. i agree but my problem is i keep mys open since i have never been single and really have nothing to be scare of so when a women wants to meet me i have no guard up as to say. i did have one date from another site and what a waste of time it was. this women insisted i go see her so much she call me at night and wantnt be to travel 300 miles to be with her like a fool i agree she even offer to pay my gas....wow....when i got there it was ok because she look just like in the picture a few extra pounds but who counting had a nice home went out for dinner and shopping laught a lot.went back to her house afterwards did a lot of kissing the heat pour on end up in the bedroom we didnt go any farther at her request it got late so i decided i better get back home..... i never call her again why cause it was a waste of time all she wantnt was to see how good i was.and that was all.for some guys they love to do this everyday if they could for me it is a waste of time.and a tease i did have one more date and this one well we did end up in bed and it was awesome i must say, the next day i was ashame of my self i let her go too.so if this is dating i pass and will wait the date that will count | |
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