| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/29/2007 6:55:55 AM | | I don't want to deal with their hate/love for their ex wives and bratty spoiled children, drug/alcohol addictions and/or emotional issues, and they want me to be taller, divorced, with a different face, body shape and personality and to use and abuse them. | |
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| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/29/2007 11:23:14 AM | | I am in a relationship now, but I didn't date for about 2 years. It was mainly because I needed time to myself to heal and get over my painful divorce. I have seen too many people try to jump back into relationships before they are really ready, and I think it never works very well. | |
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| Quality over Quantity.......
Posted: 7/29/2007 11:32:16 AM | For me I am not a serial dater, I might be a seruial meeter, but not dater. Those coming out of a relationship, espcially marriage need a minimum 1 year to take the time to get to know who they are. You dont need to date to do that. Lonliness is the best thing that can happen to someone out of a relationship, it makes you reflect and see what kind of person you are and what work needs to be done. Aa, far as 4 dates/ year looking for an LTR. Whats wrong with that? Is not quantity, ie; serial dating, its quality. I meet way to many who just jump from relationship to relationship. Slow down, its not a race, nor does he/she who leads the league in times dated win anything. Good Luck to those of us looking for quality.
Sincerely
Mark | |
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| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/29/2007 11:36:36 AM | Part of the reason I haven't dated anyone was that I wasn't ready emotionally. MY confidence level sank after hubby left and it's taken me this long to get the courage to join this site! My track record with men is not great, so I have been doubting my own judgement. I start to question why I date the guys I date?
Now that I am a parent, I am even more cautious then ever before. Not only do I have to wonder about the outcome with myself but also my child. It's much more risky now then ever before.
It's been a year and half since the split and I put on some weight last year thanx to the side effects of anti-anxiety drugs and just a lack of not caring, but I have lost most of the weight again and I still want to lose about another 20 lbs before feeling confident again to get out there.
I am starting to doubt my decision for wanting to date again. I guess I am a wimp! Sorry, that came across as self pity... | |
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| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/29/2007 5:21:46 PM | Well...I try to date... I get started and someone wants a committed relationship...three weeks into the dating...what's up? I let myself get caught up with this last relationship...sounds like I've had many but I haven't... he was very convincing...I believed what he said and I really cared for him...who knows...thing is I didn't know
he was not genuine...not til a ways down the road.
I met a great match...on POF...here I am ten months later...turns out not all the gold diggers are women. Humm? buy a marriage...some people are pretty smooth...and Ouch! that hurt...I really was falling for him.
I guess...I will just try again...the women need to watch out and be careful too...not just the men. All the best fishes to you. | |
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| Quality over Quantity.......
Posted: 7/29/2007 7:35:36 PM | OMG I completely agree with quality over quantity.
I have been on 5 dates in the last 3 years.
1. I have 2 daughters that I have been raising, one is in college now and the other is in 10th grade, they have kept me very busy. They have been my first priority since they were born.
2. I have always tried to set good standards for them morally and ethically.
3. I have been pursuing a college education and sometimes the homework that I get is insane and requires days of work, along with working a job and keeping a house.
4. I won't date guys that are looking for one thing, are alcoholics, drug addicts, or have mental issues. I just don't need the hassle, life is complicated enough.
5. Finding a decent, moral, ethical man that would treat me nicely and accept my children is not as easy as one would think.
6. Most guys don't like to be with a woman that is intelligent and has positive goals for her life, they would rather an 18 year old with a lobotomy. Sad but most times, true. | |
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| Quality over Quantity.......
Posted: 7/29/2007 8:00:52 PM | Quality mostly comes from quantity, though. Sure, you shouldn't bother with obvious mismatches. Beyond that, I'm skeptical about most people's ability to pick winners without meeting them first.
For the moment, I'm giving online dating a miss. The pool of potentials is too small to be worth chasing. The chase sucks time and energy and I'm a bit short of both. I am, however, experimenting with some alternatives. A local women's cycling club has a singles ride. I'm going on that next week. The next evening I'm planning do a speed dating event. I don't expect much out of either, but it's worth finding what potential there is. 'Beats writing emails destined for the bit bucket. | |
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| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/3/2008 5:40:19 PM | | What works for some doesn't for others. Dating's a cultural institution like any other for those who subscribe. What most take for granted others might take for largely absurd -- and no reason is really needed. | |
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| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/3/2008 5:45:02 PM | Because...been hurt too many times to know it's not worth it. Don't get me wrong..there were some really great moments...but no more trying to trust in a day and age where people aren't exactly monogomous despite what they lead you to believe.
Not to mention the fact that guys are getting much more clever...hold your hand, spend all the time they want with you, get dinner cooked for them, hugs and kisses when they want them...spoilt with kindness....only to turn around four months down the road and it's..."we're only dating...what's wrong with me dating someone else at the same time?" Pft. LOL....no thanks.
Oh...AND...my best guy friend called me two weeks ago upset because his fiance's cousin cheated at his stag....only to call me again last weekend to tell me he cheated at his too.....2 cheaters in a week on two women who think their men are loyal and just forked out how much money on the weddings....shakes head. | |
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| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/4/2008 4:03:31 AM | good question.
as a faithful POF member, I will try to formulate a well thought out response.
1. they could be traumatized on the 4 dates a year and hiding at home
2. they could be really shy and glad to some contact (email etc) rather than none
3. they could be newly separated and not quite ready to come out and beard the lions in their dens
4. or.....they could be lying about the 4 dates a year and really be going on either 50 (piranhas) or none (and not want to admit it)
5. either way, not really relevant - after all, only important question is....
what are you doing?
cheers - sue | |
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| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/4/2008 7:42:12 AM | I've seen some pretty screwy, wierd , mean , vicious things said on Plenty of Fish.
Your post beats them all. Reading some of your devoted favorites testimonials, is
also a joke. My husband had a real brain tumor, and if sex was indeed the only cure,
he would definitely be alive today. So good luck to you and yours.  | |
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| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/4/2008 4:09:04 PM | It's been a year and a half since I dated or been in a relationship (also means no sex for that length of time..lol..) but this year has given me time to figure out a lot about me.
I know you hear about people saying they have had to take time for themselves, but ya know it is nice to actually take that time. It gave me the chance to figure out what I wanted in life, work to rebuild a better relationship with my mom, and other stuff.
Bottom line, I was able to "get my ducks in a row" and now I feel more confident about dating.
The problem now is finding the right person to date and build a relationship with...lol...
Brat | |
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| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/4/2008 6:55:48 PM | Well let's see...
I live in a very small town. The pond is small and shallow to say the least.
I don't come into contact with many men in my daily life. I work with women at one job and don't even look at the men at my other job. I feel it would be inappropriate.
Men my age just don't seem interested. Unfortunately I am not attracted to any of the ones that are.
All this leads to a single woman on a self imposed break from dating. Of course if a man I was attracted to showed interest I am sure my break would be over in a New York minute.
And that in a nutshell is why I am single and not dating. | |
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| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/4/2008 8:45:29 PM | because I have *issues*
because I'm emotionally UNavailable.
because I believe in the NO TOUCHING rule and most guys just can't handle that! [besides most- not all- guys have cooties and I'd rather watch porn. And cucumbers taste great /are less filling.]
because I'm a social phobe with antidisestablishmentarianism [or was that antisocial personality disorder???] | |
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| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/4/2008 10:13:13 PM | | Not about the person who posted before me........ i looked at 10 peoples profiles who posted on this and said they weren't dating, but only one had that in their profile, the other 9 random profiles all said they were looking for someone to date, ltr, etc...??? | |
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| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:00:13 PM |
Not about the person who posted before me........ i looked at 10 peoples profiles who posted on this and said they weren't dating, but only one had that in their profile, the other 9 random profiles all said they were looking for someone to date, ltr, etc...???
I have a feelin there may be a misunderstandin of how the topic title is being read. There's two ways it can be looked at. A self-imposed reason and reasoning being there just are either a) men not avaliable to date or b) they women/men have chosen not to date at all.
Make sense to you now caskey? 
Brat | |
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| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:18:21 PM | while im not in this boat currently, i can explain WHY i have been single and not dated in the past
1)completly absorbed in my own world, very busy
2)just got out of a relationship and realized it was best i didnt date until i was over it all, whatever
3)unmotivated...lol | |
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| If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:36:14 PM | Why am I not dating?
Of the women in whom I have been interested: some live very far away, some smoke, some are not interested in me, some work at the same place I do (a definite no-no!!!!)
Now I am kinda busy with Spanish and accounting among other things including finding ways to rebuilt my legs and my neuro-muscular control. Maybe if I could find a Spanish speaking lady who is a physiotherapist or nurse with a knowledge of accounting. Fantasy is good for the soul -- I hope. Or an accountant for a physiotherapist.
You get the drift. | |
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