| How important is oral sex to you guy's?
Posted: 7/21/2006 9:04:52 AM | Its not important, hell I can't even get off to it unless shes extra skilled! (none have met that challenge yet, a few have come close though)
General rule:
If you want me going south, you best be going south too, and probably first. | |
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| How important is oral sex to you guy's?
Posted: 7/21/2006 9:08:38 AM | please forgive me but....
It's probably gotto be one of the most important things. And it's doctor recommended as it is the only type of cardiopulminary excercise some men get....  I' m srry lol | |
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| How important is oral sex to you guy's?
Posted: 7/21/2006 9:12:16 AM | Don't get me wrong, I like getting oral and everything, but it doesn't have to bring me to completion (although that is always good). I look at it as a tool in the sexual toolbox, so to speak.
I like giving it to a lady as well--remember it's a tool to use at the right time.
I've broken up with a girlfriend who wouldn't even CONSIDER offering it. She felt so guilty about it, she didn't want me to give her oral. I found the inflexibility unattractive. | |
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| How important is oral sex to you guy's?
Posted: 7/21/2006 9:46:39 AM | To bike-man...
So how many ladies do you think will bypass your profile now after reading what you had to say in your post???
You broke up with your girlfriend simply because she wouldnt give you a BJ... think your that good under the sheet's to beable to toss her aside for something as simple as that... maybe not huh, could be why she wouldnt do it for you...lol | |
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| How important is oral sex to you guy's?
Posted: 7/21/2006 9:50:56 AM | Depends on the guy. I would hazard that it is a normal part of healthy sexual development. Not unlike a woman asking how important it is to her to have her breasts touched, caressed and teased by heart and hand and tongue. And yes, to the declaimers, I realize the organs are different, but the comparison is very apt in that the breast is as central to a woman's perception of her own sexuality as the penis is for a man.
On to why:
Some men haven't had it. Hard for them to create an informed opinion. Sorry.
Some have body issues. From whatever source. (Observation, NOT a judgement)
Many have had it performed so poorly they are disenchanted with the whole concept. I know a number of women who have voiced the inverse, so it's a two way street.
The remainder like it and accept it.
- Whether as part of foreplay, or as an intimate little act on its own. It is about the desire and ability to please your partner and the closeness that brings.
It becomes a, ahem, bone of contention because some view it as an act of submissiveness and presume that defines the sum of the couples relationship. Others are uncertain, inexperienced and would like to, but feel afraid that if it isn't good they will be rejected. That is almost invariably not the case if you listen to your partners direction and you both proceed from the idea that it is about closeness, or naughtiness you will be just fine. That leaves another group that refuse because they are so self aware they refuse to actually DO something where the results are there for the world (or just the two of you) to see. They would rather talk about intimacy because if they can define it in ways they desire it will be about subjective pleasures and contain no definitive concrete things one can point to that declare themselves to each other.
Sorry it is so long, but there was a lot of ground to cover...lol | |
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| How important is oral sex to you guy's?
Posted: 7/21/2006 10:11:30 AM | You bring up a couple of good points DentedKnight.
What's also important is the reason why she doesn't want to give oral. Like I mentioned, it's not the act, but that attitude that's important to me.
Some think it's disgusting. Some think it's degrading. Some think they're no good at it and don't bother. Some have had bas experiences. Some have far worse mental issues than I can possibly comprehend.
But I think the BEST (and it's rare) is when she gives it like she NEEDS it. The aggressiveness and the want to do it. That is what's important. Technique is a good thing to have, but it's not nearly as important as saying "I want you right now!". And mean it. (And I STILL think back to her, and will continue to search for that type of woman again.)
There's nothing worse than hearing "*sigh* Ok, I guess if you WANT to." come apathetically from her mouth. I'd rather hear no. It's that kind of thing that makes me question your sex drive and your motives. Or, doing it because she feels it's her duty and she has to. But a real, eager desire to....that's special.
That's the attitude I was speaking of. | |
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| How important is oral sex to you guy's?
Posted: 7/21/2006 10:28:57 AM |
There's nothing worse than hearing "*sigh* Ok, I guess if you WANT to." come apathetically from her mouth. I'd rather hear no. It's that kind of thing that makes me question your sex drive and your motives. Or, doing it because she feels it's her duty and she has to. But a real, eager desire to....that's special.
Oh, man That is the brutal truth. Too bad that girl is invariably headed for unhappiness. Either when he eventually dumps her for someone sincere, or when they marry and she goes "Thank God! Now forget this Blowjob stuff. You're done." and wonders why she winds up divorced or cheated on.
Seriously ladies. Be honest with yourself and with your partner. I know that can cost you the guy, and that is usually what causes ladies to envigle like the above quote, but if you need to employ that kind of entrapment and evasion, what does that say about you as a person? Respect yourself enough to find a man that actually wants what you want to give, and he will respect you. And think of all the problems THAT would solve. | |
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| How important is oral sex to you guy's?
Posted: 7/21/2006 10:29:29 AM | | Oh hell yah attitude is everything. If ur man knows ur just doing it to make him happy then he wont be. I love to give a good man a good time. I am just that way. Of course my mentality is much that of a man when it comes to sex. I love sex and I am not ashamed of that. Its a healthy part of any great relationship no matter what kind of sex ur having. I have a take what I want attitude though. I love to get a man rock hard by sucking him off whether he comes at that time, or we have real good sec Im happy either way. I dont feel that I am a slut but just honest about my sexuality. The more I please my man the more he wants to please me its that simple. Oh yah and u got to swallow baby thats the bomb. LOL | |
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| 100% important
Posted: 7/21/2006 10:40:11 AM | | but I have heard that some guys don't care for it much. Just your preference I guess. | |
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| How important is oral sex to you guy's?
Posted: 7/21/2006 10:41:25 AM | 1) Well a relationship is a package deal.......we cant enjoy all of the same things. If a woman turns me on physically, intellectually, socially, and is my freind as well; I'm going to make sure shes happy and I wouldn't let oral sex be the deal breaker. I think exploring each others sexual appetites is important, find out all the things that turn each other on. We can all learn new things!!!!!!!!!!! And this is wherein the comprimise should lie.
2) You didn't say if you are into it from the recieving end ????? That would change the dynamics alittle
3) And all that having been said we come to this....... I am very adventurous sexually BUT there are things I WON"T do. And there are things that I'm not really into, but I WOULD do them to see that look of pleasure and enjoyment on my partners face!!!!! In my experiance the happier my partner is in bed...........the happier she makes me in bed. It's that whole package thing again | |
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| How important is oral sex to you guy's?
Posted: 7/21/2006 10:43:44 AM | I have dated only one guy who did not like it.....I love it! It is a turn on to me to make a man moan and grow in that way....now that being said i like being in a close relationship for it...it shows a form of trust!....that and its just hot!!!!! | |
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| How important is oral sex to you guy's?
Posted: 7/21/2006 11:17:25 AM | I feel blissfully happy just being with my love.
And she pleases me in ways I couldn't even begin to describe.
Even if she didn't want to do oral... it would make no difference to me.
If you love someone, being with them is enough. Sex and other things are great... but not needed to be happy. | |
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| How important is oral sex to you guy's?
Posted: 7/21/2006 11:28:32 AM | hi serenityheart, hopefully other women who have read anything that i've posted here for almost a year would understand that i'm all about common sense when it comes to interpersonal relationships.
in this relationship, i didn't breakup solely because the female wished not to partake in all forms of oral sex. in fact, we had several discussions like this, where this and other perhaps more important relationship matters were discussed. i felt that her inflexibility here was the tip of the iceberg as far as her inflexibility could be measured in other areas. there was no compromise, and in relationships compromise is paramount.
so i broke up and seeked a new partner who was more compatible with me in this and other areas. people break up all the time. serenityheart, not knowing what your marital status is since you didn't want to denote it in your profile, perhaps you aren't the one to be judging anyone when it comes to bypassing profiles???  | |
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| How important is oral sex to you guy's?
Posted: 7/21/2006 2:04:57 PM | Bike-man... this is what you said...
I've broken up with a girlfriend who wouldn't even CONSIDER offering it. She felt so guilty about it, she didn't want me to give her oral. I found the inflexibility unattractive.
Maybe you should have explained yourself a little better. Your words would lead anyone to think as you said you broke up with her because she wouldnt even consider to offer the oral and you found that inflexibility unattractive... your word's. | |
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| How important is oral sex to you guy's?
Posted: 7/21/2006 2:21:07 PM | np serenity, i read these forums at work (yes i'm a bad boy), and my answers aren't as lucid as they could be.
no, i always break up with chicks when they refuse to blow me! JUST KIDDING!     | |
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Phyn
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Joined: 6/5/2006
Msg: 42 | |
| How important is oral sex to you guy's?
Posted: 7/21/2006 2:34:16 PM | | it's all part of the fun. I don't like any unreasonable limits...but I am patient. my last girlfriend was very inexperienced and reluctant to do anything except straight missionary sex. but over time she came to love slurping my weenie and got very good at it. the day she admitted that was worth all the waiting and made everything all the more fun. nothing more satisfying than corrupting the innocent. | |
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| How important is oral sex to you guy's?
Posted: 7/21/2006 2:39:21 PM | Heh, on the flip side of this argument... I've had the odd girlfriend who couldn't get enough.
There'd be times that I'd be woken up in the middle of the night because they suddenly had a craving.
At first, I thought that this was great. I mean, they'd be on me any chance they got...
But, after 10-20 times a day...
Being woken up once or twice in a night...
Well... you start to get a little sore. ;) | |
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| How important is oral sex to you guy's?
Posted: 7/21/2006 6:59:54 PM | | NOt important at all... I couldn't care less, it doesn't do anything for me to start with, well it did only once with one person and that was it. Seems to me that women dont seally like doing this anyway and making a girl ddo something that she doesn't truly enjoy soften my noodle | |
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| How important is oral sex to you guy's?
Posted: 7/21/2006 7:54:04 PM | | I think that oral sex is extremely important, at least to me. The price of gas is going through the roof...and I need a woman to teach me how to siphon. | |
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| How important is oral sex to you guy's?
Posted: 7/21/2006 9:00:50 PM | | LOL Sorry but I am cracking up reading some of this!! But on the serious side, I feel I must point a couple of things out. First of all, a womans breasts aren't necassarily like a mans wee wee. Trust me, there are other and way better places to play with depending on the partner. Second, trust me, enjoying sex, or rather oral sex, either/and/or whatever way you put it, is definitely not old school thinking. I don't consider myself old school and I enjoy it as much as probably almost any man or woman out there. Of course, I suppose you could get into the theories of evolution and such and prove a case there since sex has been around longer than man... lol Also, imo, really, what it's all about, and I think I can say this for men and women, is the chemistry, and the mutual enjoyment of one another, whatever the design and I agree, there's definitely something to the wanting your partner to want to do things for you rather than doing it because they know you want them to. That definitely goes both ways, for men and women. | |
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| How important is oral sex to you guy's?
Posted: 7/21/2006 9:35:20 PM | Im sorry to admit that I am this shallow, but thats a dealbreaker for me.
Now, that being said, Ill explain why I think / feel this way. In my mind its fairly simple. If she is un-willing, (or unable, but Ill get to that.) it shows a lack of "want" to please me. To me, its somthing that a girl can do that shows that she wants to make me feel good. That (again, just to me maybe) shows that she is willing to work (sorry, bad word for it, but im tired.) to make me happy. Witch, at least to me in my mind, I am willing to totally do for her.
Now, for the unable. Usually, this stage comes fairly early in the relationship. (Early of course being relevent to the pertinant time - ill explain, see footnote.)(A broad term, please follow through, my mind is somwhat wandering.) What I mean is that usually for me, the heavyforplay, oral, and sex are very important. If I am un-compatiable with a woman sexually, im pretty sure that the relationship isnt going to go very well. (hopefully the reasons are fairly obvious, and if not, too bad) If she is un-able to do that, Id like to know why.
There are legitimate reasons for not being able to do that. Sexual abuse, rape, new tounge piercing ect. The reason dictates the circumstance, for example, new tounge piercing. In that case, I would completly understand, my tounge is pierced as well, and that is a major health concern.
Sexual abuse? Rape? Those are MAJOR issues, and normally, unless I already have vested concerns in her well-being, im not usually willing to help deal with emotional issues like that. I know, it sounds mean, hold on. Unwilling. Unwilling? Of course I am unwilling, I am unwilling because I do not have the training, or the knowledge to really help much in that situation. Other than being a sholder to cry on, and if that is the case, IMO that is not the time to be getting into any kind of relationship. Its not a good idea to build a relationship in a situation like that for a multitude of reasons. (Hopefully you can see why)
Now, lets see if I can summerise.
I dont ever date a girl that is unwilling, or unable to preform oral.
*Early relationship and sex*
I use this loosly, to be more specific, I should say "When the stage of the relationship evolves to becoming more intimate sexually" I choose not to because I think that the statment here becomes more of an impact statment when phrased diffrently. Here, ill try to explain myself, bear with me.
Now, if I have known the girl for awhile, then this of course becomes ALOT more complicated. Say, perhaps that she is a friend of mine, and we recently decided to start becoming intimate (just sex, dateing, whatver) I say more complicated, what I mean is basically irrelivant. In a case like this theres just so much more to the equation. I hope you can puzzle through it all im too beat to bother explaining more about it.
As well, if this is just a one-night kinda thing, then its not really a matter for discussion. All of it becomes irrelivent in the morning anyways, so I dont dwell on it.
Again, if she has "emotional issues" that stop her from doing it, I dont believe that she is at a stage, or place, in her life where she should be intimate with anyone. I just cant see how she could be ready for sex, and not oral.
I rambled, I know.
Feel free to point out my mistakes, or anything else. Ill re-read tomorrow to see the flames!
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| How important is oral sex to you guy's?
Posted: 7/22/2006 8:56:54 AM | | Extremely important. If you won't do it, on some level even if you aren't aware of it you are rejecting the guy. I have no problem going down on my girl, but if the favor isn't returned it's not going to last. My advice is to get over it. Sometimes in relationships you do things you don't want to because you care for the person. Do you think your boyfriend is dying to hold your pink handbag while you go try on dresses in the mall? If it's really an issue use a flavored condom, suck on tic-tacs, etc. | |
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| How important is oral sex to you guy's?
Posted: 7/22/2006 9:05:34 AM | | Oral is really important. Guys love it and most will get frustrated if you dont do it. My ex used to almost beg to give me oral and she would do it till I would cum. My new gf it is an act of god and congress to get her to do it and it will last for 2 minutes or less but she expects oral till she cant take it any more. | |
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